Do you compare your parenting skills with other parents?

parenting style - parents with a child
Philippines
September 11, 2012 8:25pm CST
I seen some housewives talking in a corner before going to school. They accompany their children on their way to school. They have a small talk with parents of the other students. They talk about the way they discipline their child. Some mumble that is so difficult. So she ask for some tips. The other reply the same things and say the children is disobedient to listen to them so they are likely to grow hard headed. Some say there children follow their command and they happy with it. Do you compare yourself when it comes to parenting style?
3 people like this
8 responses
@asdomencil (4276)
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
I do compare how I discipline and teach my son with other parents too. However, not in the point that I will criticize them. Sometimes, just giving them some tips too on how I do it. I think everyone have their own way of parenting depending on kid's attitude since every kid is also different even they are siblings and even twins.
• Philippines
26 Oct 12
to compare or not could not be really control. since, everyday we could meet parents who have has a child that excels in school and a good students that they are so obedient that there parents really proud to tell to anyone that their children never give them any headache. this prompt parents to imitate their parenting style while children may like or dislike t may depend on the types of approaches uses as effective such as parenting style as authoritarian or democratic view. both have a advantages and disadvantages and sometimes a mix of strict and a friendly discipline encourage a child to get motivated easily.
• Philippines
26 Oct 12
I agree with you that disciplining kids in either way will have advantages or disadvantages.
@dpk262006 (56482)
• Delhi, India
19 Sep 12
I think it is a human tendency to feel that grass is greener on the other side. Many of us feel that they are suffering the most, that is why these category of people discuss such issues with others. We also discuss with others but we do not undermine or under estimate our children.
• Philippines
26 Oct 12
yes, people out of curiosity need to discuss the parenting style issue with other people so they could learn new tricks on managing the welfare of there children. although, every parents need to know the effective method of disciplining their children at an earlier age so when they grow up into adult the merge with the society is easy. they learn to take challenges and opportunity at the same time they learn to learn from mistakes, accept rejection and think of work around solution that works wonder for them.
@judelen (428)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
Hello! Sometimes we parents worried to our children especially when they are growing older. Sometimes we look to our children much wiser than us. In this situation for me asking my friends who also parents is good. Sometimes our ideas is not fit or sometimes their idea is good. Yes I compare my style to other parents because i want to know deeper on a particular style. The good in comparing is that you can rate your style if it is good or not, or fit or not to your child.
• Philippines
26 Oct 12
comparing parenting style with other parents as you mention is good since you are able to know their different approaches they take to make their children behave rightly or get easily motivated. since they actually experience it and as you could see they have a good children who are morally uptight, responsible and respectful toward their parents. they have a good reputation and hardly not meet any trouble when it comes to their studies. so by talking with them you would be able to apply them to your child, but not totally copy since some method are not effective when they are in effect with their children, your children may like or dislike it. is forming a good thought and observation based from your way to raise children determine by the strategy yourself created.
• United States
13 Sep 12
I don't yet have children. However, I expect that when and if I ever do, I will talk with other parents in my community about parenting tips and tricks. It just seems a natural thing to do--compare notes, get advice, seek support. However, I am certain that I will have my own style of parenting, just as I have my own sense of style when it comes to clothing or my own (eclectic) taste in music. Children are individuals, and what works in one household won't necessarily work in another.
• Philippines
26 Oct 12
oh, same with me. i would also do the same things like you do such as asking other parent because as you mention we could learn some fantastic parenting style which could benefit the children as well as the parents. and n terms of comparison being unique s set to every individual to form their own identity. when comparing parenting style and the types of children being discipline is becoming a different approach is used since what seem compatible to other are not suited to another group.so a lot of experiment period were need to determine the right tricks until the parents learn the effective approach and until they find it as useful.
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
13 Sep 12
I don't care about other parents or how they raise their children, so no I don't complare myself to their style. Especially not because my children are way more intelligent, have complete other interests as kids of their age, they are very creative and so am I and is the rest of our family. So we live in our own creative world. I can't stand complaining, gossiping people and always stayed away from these kind of parents. I will also never understand how parents can spend whole day being bored or lying on the sofa watching tv. Personally I don't think raising is hard if you know yourself plus what you will accept and what not. You raise from the moment a kid is born, you don't start at a certain point. And what means discipline? I can't stand that word and it sounds as if your kids are joining the army. Creative people have a creative mind, need space to invest, think, feel... you can't discipline everything. The only thing I expect my kids to do is to live a happy life, live it the way they want, to be as creative as possible (this way they can express their feelings) and treat people the same way as they treat them. My kids have responsibilities (includes the 9 and 6 year old ones) but not only that. If you expect them to be responsible they also have rights. What they all have is the right to say what is on their mind, to say when I am wrong, or one of the others, without any punishment or sanctions. It works fine for us. They all are very polite, attentive and helpfull.. too attentive and polite and helpfull in most times.
• Philippines
26 Oct 12
i like the way you stand your point and i understand that the way to raise a child should not put too much pressure on the parenting style. parents need to set certain rules where the children could agree and able to follow and at the same time know to identify there responsibilities. children need to enjoy there time being children as when they grow rapidly toward becoming adult they learn from their mistakes and know to stand on them and learn from it. though, parenting style been authoritarian or democratic. the way the children perceive it and accept it as the way or them to be come molded morally n their conduct. they would grow up to become an adult who know to value respects, privacy and hard-work so a period of lot of discipline and adaptation evolves a lot of commitment toward guiding them to become a better women or men.
@cutepenguin (6457)
• Canada
13 Sep 12
I sometimes compare myself to other parents but I don't really worry about it because I know that what works for one child might not work for another. I can't parent my active, extroverted child in the same way my friend parents her clever, practical child. But I try to look at how other parents raise their kids and take what will work for my child.
• Philippines
26 Oct 12
yes, that true and in fact comparing the type of discipline you impose to a child may lead to confusion and insecurity. especially when they set high standard and the children could not attain it . the parents who impose it seem to experience a set of disappointment and on the side of the children those rules get rejected also the parents felt rejected too. maybe, seeing the other parents discipline child a you do think of using them as a model but have a need to develop your own pattern so the policy you employ on your children were match to their requirements.
@kheydia (883)
• Philippines
12 Sep 12
Parenting is difficult when you are not willing to learn for yourself about it, i dont know about others but before i was married i prepare myself for parenting even since i was on my teens, i am watching talkshows where mothers talk about their experiences and i listen to the mothers that i know of how they were a parent to their children and take notes at my head... And until now as a young parent, i am still learning from other parents or mother of how they are as parents how they do this and that, and if there's an opportunity to share my experience, i would share it...
• Philippines
12 Sep 12
yes, that a good ideas to listen to those veteran mother and live to learn through their examples. i admire mother who support their children right to be educated, and prepare them emotionally to have high standard of moral. children nowadays need a lot of advice and discipline should start at a very young age where they could be easily motivated and absorb all positive teaching to us when they grow as a responsible adults.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Sep 12
I do find myself at times comparing my parenting styles to other parents I know. For instance, a friend of mine has an 11 year old son and he lets his son watch just about any movie he wants regardless of the rating as well as lets him stay up until sometimes midnight. Personally, I would never let my son stay up that late especially on school nights or watch movies that weren't appropriate for his age but it's not really my place to tell him how to raise his child. I wouldn't say that my parenting skills or style is any better or any worse than another parents, just very different at times. It's definitely beneficial to compare notes with other parents though and I'm always open for new ideas on how to go about doing things.
• Philippines
12 Sep 12
right, as most patents are to self center that they miss something important to nurture their child emotional quotient not just their mental capacity. with the way you raise your child at an early age. this s a good time for them to absorb all the fine teaching as the child mind s like a sponge who are ready to absorb everything at the early stages of their growth.
1 person likes this