My boyfriends says " YOU TURN ME OFF"

@iMamom (321)
Philippines
November 15, 2012 10:54am CST
I am a secret investigator. I easily find things, I can hack into my boyfriends emails. However I cant keep it secret to him whenever I find unpleasant things that I shouldn't know. I know I shouldn't do dig in to my boyfriends emails I am just creating a fire ball he said and its past. One day he said ,he is turn off with me. I said I am turn off as well. I have discovered his unfaithfulness. I dont want him to win I stand on my own and his unfaithfulness is an absolute turn off to me. Though its actually my fault to breach his privacy in the end I won because I stand on what I think. Not only guys has the power to say I am turn off, If I did allow him to step on me he will win and will think he can push me around. For me, if you both trust each other. A relationship should be transparent, if your hiding something it will stinks...
4 people like this
17 responses
• United States
15 Nov 12
I totally agree with you how much are your services I might need you for real
1 person likes this
@iMamom (321)
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
haha... thanks mrshubert13. i am glad you are on my side... I am not a detective ... we women has that special skill.. you may want to try that trick...
• United States
22 Nov 12
Yeah your right cause I be checking but he checks me also I be like dude here is my voicemail code all that he can check I have nun yo hide but him I got to sneak and find out his voicemail code etc.lol
• Malaysia
15 Nov 12
Hi iMamom, there is certain rules when it comes to know if someone is not faithfull or not. Does he initiate it or the other party initiate it, like did he dial the number or the women called him. Now can you see the difference. And Since i am a female i will be on your side ok. He must have done something that trigger you to do what you did. By the way, if he is worth to fight for then stand by your men and so do not let go
1 person likes this
@iMamom (321)
• Philippines
15 Nov 12
Your right there was a reason why he had been unfaithful, it was not about me being unfaithful it was because he is loosing hope with our relationship before. However now its mended. Now he allowed me to go in on his emails anytime after that fight. We have talked and find solutions. When I said i am turn off with him, he never stop on wooing me again. He was comfortable with my love before, that tested my patience towards him. It ended well.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
that's nice you settle things early just keep motivating him be positive and dont forget pray for your baby and your relation just put more trust and respect and faith on the relation god bless
@mariaperalta (19094)
• Mexico
15 Nov 12
Sorry.. if you says that to you... you say adios., Hasta la bye bye. Move on. There are better out there for you.
1 person likes this
@iMamom (321)
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
Thats a good idea... :) will see how it goes this time.
• United States
15 Nov 12
I believe that if you are in a serious relationship then you should not hide anything from your partner. Many couples will not let either one look through their phone. That right there just says they are hiding and doing something that they shouldn't while in a relationship. I have found things out my snoping through a now ex's phone and I could not keep it to myself that I had found out about it.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Nov 12
I also totally agree if u dont ur babydaddy will end up sleepin with ur cuzzin like mine did
1 person likes this
@Paper_Doll (2375)
• Philippines
15 Nov 12
I am sorry but in my opinion, your relationship with your boyfriend is no longer healthy and should be given enough attention to think about and decide whether you still love each other or not, before things get worse. I do not think that it is proper to dig in other people's email account, even though he is your boyfriend. But I have to admit that I also open my previous boyfriends' email accounts, but I did not hacked them or something, I do know the password as they gave it to me. And I am thankful that I did not find anything suspicious or something that would really break my heart. When couple started to throw hurtful words to each other, they start losing their respect for each other. I think that a relationship without respect can't simply work. Everybody needs respect especially men that is why many says that men value respect more than love. I do understand why you tried to open his email account without his permission however, I also understand why your boyfriend reacted that way. I think that you guys should take some time to talk about this issue and resolve the problems. With regards to transparency, I do agree with you. I have one boyfriend in the past who won't tell me his email password and won't let me handle his cellular phone. For me, it is a red flag already but I did not tell him about this. After months of being together, I only meet some of his friends but not his family. I am not comfortable about it, and it really made me wonder if there's something he is hiding from me. I asked my friend to check his records if he is really single and my friend that there is no record that he has been married before. I called their house to inquire if he is really single and the woman who answered the phone said that he is. So why do I feel like he is hiding me or our relationship? I find it very unusual but did gave him the chance to change the situation without informing him about my concerns. I really do not want my man to just change because I told him so, I want him to realize everything on his own and change if he really wants to. But years have passed and nothing changed. After more than 7 years, I broke up with him because I felt like I am losing my self esteem already. I was thinking if he is hiding me from other people because he isn't proud of me, maybe because I am not good enough, or my family is poor, I do not know really. He promised to change and will introduce me to his family the coming Christmas but I said No, thank you. And that was our last conversation. There are signs that would really tell us if the guy is serious about us so we really should be aware of them. But still, it would really depend on us if we are going to wait for a change, depending on how much we love this guy.
@iMamom (321)
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
Thank you for sharing.... I admire your perseverance, the reason i want to know is i felt there is something that i need to know... If he couldnt accept my faults for digging in, for me its time to let go eith each other, but it turns out well, we became more transparent, i dont have to check his emails anymore, when i want i can. Because of what happend the problem was fixed.
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
It is a good thing that everything turns well now. A man who committed infidelity should have to prove to his partner that he is worthy of her trust again. He should even have to report his activities, where he is going and who's with him. Sounds exaggerated but that is true. A broken trust needs a lot of work to be fixed again so your boyfriend should understand why you did that.
@iMamom (321)
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
like what i have told him, I dont care anymore, I am too numb feel the pain... So if he does one more infidelity its over and no more 2nd chances. So he does make it up now and i think he is worth keeping this time.
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
16 Nov 12
Hi IMamom, I have to ask you...why are you even with someone that you feel you have to investigate? Then you investigate and find stuff and ...sorry, I just don't get it. I'd just leave if I did not trust someone I was with. I would not check e-mails and phones. It would not matter. The fact that I did not trust would be all that mattered to me. He could even be trustworthy but if that's how I feel...why be with him? It's not a good relationship. There is no "win" in these kinds of relationships...ya both lose.
@iMamom (321)
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
At first the relationship was fine... when i felt something was wrong i was really loosing hope and wants to give up. when i found out I gave up... however he realizes how important me and his daughter in his life. The problem was fix. if he will commit the same mistake its over... no more questions.. its going to be a goodbye... I dont have to check his emails he has to say it upfront.. :) thats what i told him.
@iMamom (321)
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
I am no longer feeling that i need to investigate.. It was out of curiosity ..it happend once... and no more... we are both transparent now...
@jeztrose (1405)
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
You're a tough one! i salute you for that. Honesty is a big deal in having a relationships,it often leads to misunderstandings and heartbreaks. Your situation is just one example that affects being dishonest.I think that both of you has a mistake,you hide that you open his emails and he hides about the third party.Well i guess no one wins in between. but you have a good move if he dumps you then you dump him then.. ahaha that;'s it. there are many other guys out there.
@iMamom (321)
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
Hi jextrose, Thank you.. Yes I admit we both made a mistake... Its not only has to be blamed it is him who started it... :) anyway love is sweeter the 2nd time around.. So i am happy.. :)
@jeztrose (1405)
• Philippines
17 Nov 12
yeah!! be optimistic about it. think positive always. and be contented. there are lots of guys out there. and i think you learn your lessons now. i hope you good luck!
@Dominique25 (9475)
• United States
16 Nov 12
Glad to hear that you worked everything out. It would be hard for me to trust my partner after that. Once a person loses trust it is very hard regain that back. It does happen but hopefully he will keep the relationship going good.
@iMamom (321)
• Philippines
17 Nov 12
Thanks for sharing dominique... :) hope you and your partner will have a good and lasting relationship.
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
Trust is one of the fundamental of a good relationship... personally i have a high respect on what we so called privacy... all of us have the rights to our own privacy...being unfaithful is such a turn off though it depend on how it happen... I salute you for standing on what you think is right... good job!
@iMamom (321)
• Philippines
17 Nov 12
Thanks Undyingpain, When we know we have to make a stand , it has to happen. Because if we let things to happen we might end up being hurt and worst...
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
16 Nov 12
Sometimes it is good not to know and let nature takes it course. The true colour of a person will unveil itself during the relationship and it is up to you to decide your next course of action. It can be more irritating if you poke into his privacy. Most men doesn't like their mates to be busybody. To allow the relationship to flourish both cannot be strong headed. Men are natural hunters and women are their hunted preys. Being a tame lioness will raise his white flag and stop his roving eyes!
@iMamom (321)
• Philippines
17 Nov 12
Thanks Zandi. Now I know, I will take that as an advise... :)
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
16 Nov 12
Sometimes it is good not to know and let nature takes it course. The true colour of a person will unveil itself during the relationship and it is up to you to decide your next course of action. It can be more irritating if you poke into his privacy. Most men doesn't like their mates to be busybody. To allow the relationship to flourish both cannot be strong headed. Men are natural hunters and women are their hunted preys. Being a tame lioness will raise his white flag and stop his roving eyes!
@iMamom (321)
• Philippines
17 Nov 12
Thank you for your advise. I would definitely take note of that.. I agree with you..
• United States
16 Nov 12
In a relationship, you cant fight about every little thing. I couldn't be a private investigator in a relationship. I hope you find it easy to trust your boyfriend. People talk behind your back for different reasons. Maybe he was practicing or preparing to talk to you. Maybe he was trying to get the other person to talk comfortably about their problems so they related and said that. It isn't always negative. You cant be so insecure.
@iMamom (321)
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
Yes, it is true.. so we dont just have to react on something which is nothing... I am not Insecure too.. I am just protecting my heart, I dont want to end up with someone who will treat me like this.. If the man might have not accepted my faults, we might had end up splitting up. I accepted him again since our issues were fixed...
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
I think ding some spying could be really like finding a hammer to knock on your head. I guess, we just need to keep away from the private stuff of our partners, build a great relationship with them and give them our trust.
@iMamom (321)
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
If i were given a chance, I am not going to change what I did. if a man would say he should be trusted , shame on you guy for saying that I found your a cheater. If i was not a sneak , it might have been worst if didnt know...
• United States
16 Nov 12
I'm short, brief, and get to the point. Find another boyfriend, you don't need this pressure or doubting your relationship.
@iMamom (321)
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
thats my last option for now... :)
@Hatley (164450)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Nov 12
hi Imamom If he is cheating then its time to have a face to face talk. so if the jerk thinks its okay to be lovey dovey to other girls all the time,its time you told him to shape up or ship out. If he really loved you he would not sa y "you turn me off." for one thing how can he feel you turn him on when you have the proof of his playing the field. I would show him the door and tell him, "goodby sayonara adios and do not let 'the door hit you on the way out. You are done., leave now." He said you are just creating a fireball. well thats just great.shows how much love he does not have for you wise up and find a faithful man instead.
@iMamom (321)
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
Thanks for sharing your thoughts... I said so I am i too.. im turn off too.. :)
• Philippines
19 Nov 12
I agree! In every relationship, both couples should always be transparent to each other about everything. And I guess that's what really makes a relationship much stronger and healthier. :)
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
18 Nov 12
In relationship it is the trust and confidence plays the very important role and do you know once you loose the trust & confidence in your partner then it is very difficult to keep the faith on your partner. In short it is the path towards your breaking down of relationship.