potty training crisis

United States
January 16, 2013 3:51pm CST
Okay, this is a HUGE crisis...for me anyways. I have been trying too potty train my son since he was 18 months old...he is now 3 years old! He knows where too go and when too go as long as I remind him, but if I don't constantly tell him too go, he messes everywhere! I have too fight with him too go also. Every hour we have the same struggle. Im getting pretty worn out from all the messes and dirty clothes and temper tantrums. Hes not slow or anything, hes advanced in everything but this, I dont understand it. Does anyone else have this problem or have had a similar problem? Anyone got any advice or just a "there there it'll be okay"?? lol
2 people like this
16 responses
@ctryhnny (3463)
• United States
16 Jan 13
I wish I had some advice for you...all I know is boys are harder to potty train than girls (in my case anyway). I had 2 girls who were very easy and one son who put me through the same thing your going through....good luck!
• United States
16 Jan 13
Yeah I was told boys are harder, my mom told me my cousin wasn't potty trained until he was 5!! oh looooord!!! lol
1 person likes this
@jalucia (1435)
• United States
16 Jan 13
Your problem is not an uncommon one. If he will go when you remind him to, consider yourself lucky and keep reminding him. Some kids will hold it until they become constipated and start oozing, and they are much older than 3. I understand your frustration, but I have never heard of any stone cold advice that will definitely work. Your baby boy just has a bad relationship with the toilet. You could try rewarding him for, like, every five times he goes. Just get a chart, keep track and reward him with something small. Hopefully, this will work because I know you feel very aggravated about it.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jan 13
it will sound really funny at first but I know of someone that had a boy and they had a hard time getting him potty trained to but this is what they did.....it is called "sink the cherries" ok yes it sounds funny but you throw them in the toilet and I think you can figure it out from there lol. if you make it a game and fun for him you might see a little difference. it might not work but I think to me it would be better to try than not specially if you are having that much of a problem. it will come with time some kids just take longer than others do with these things. it will be ok lol I know it's frustrating but you will get through it I believe you can
• United States
17 Jan 13
ya know what I think I will try that! I bet that just might work! Thank you
• United States
17 Jan 13
Your welcome. I hope it works for you!! let me know how it works out for you
@Hatley (157771)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Jan 13
wiw for a three year old to talk like tat hes hnot dumb so he is pushing your buttons and laughing cause he wins so let him stew for awhile the next time he messes. maybe he will get the idea thats uncomfortable and he wants to be clean. I nev er had any trouble with my son and thats odd as most boys take aot to train. I would try to m ake it really uncomfortable for him when he does not go potty and praise him a lot when he does go an also be very pleasant as I be you are aggravated and am yelling at him. .shock the geck out oujf your little really smart boy.
@Hatley (157771)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Jan 13
darn typos forgot t o edit not not hnot a lot, make, heck not geck of not oujf. sorry what a mess.
• United States
17 Jan 13
One thing he does do, if he poops his pants he empties his underwear into the toilet, flushes, wipes, then changes his underwear. If he pees he changes his underwear. its very very odd. if I put a diaper on him and he messes, he will just sit in it all day if I let him. hes a stubborn one.
@mariaperalta (19096)
• Mexico
17 Jan 13
After you take him to bathroom and he goes, give him a treat like a cookie. After awhile hell catch on. Just make sure he goes. he will start going into bathroom just to fool you for a treat... they are clever kids are...
• United States
17 Jan 13
this is the method I used with my daughter's and it really worked I thought people were crazy when they told me this. a problem does come up tho when they expect to get something every time they go potty even after they have learned how. I ran into this problem but honestly that problem is easy to fix. Oh an yes my kid tried to trick me many many times like that hahaha
@bellis716 (4807)
• United States
18 Jan 13
I'll have to ask my SIL how she finally got her midle child (a son) potty trained. She told me once that he was four. She said she asked him why he wouldn't use the potty when he knew what to do. His answer, "I just don't want to." That little boy is now a grown man with grown children of his own.
@mb0075 (3)
• United States
17 Jan 13
It's a control issue! Going potty is the only thing he has control over and the bigger deal you make over it the more satisfaction he gets out of doing his own thing. Have you tried just putting him back into his diapers? I think he's getting a real kick out of all the work he's causing for you and all the attention it's getting him. Remember, even negative attention is still attention. Back-off, keep the plastic coated diapers on him so your not being driven crazy with all the extra work and I would try giving him more control over other areas in his life for awhile. You know "do you want to wear the blue shirt or the red one?" or "Do you want milk or juice with your lunch?" and don't even mention the toilet or potty training. Just go back to changing diapers for awhile. Don't make him feel bad or guilty over the situation, make it a non-issue. Give this a minimum of 1 week to 1 month because it sounds like this has become a major battle. He's still little enough that he probably won't recognise the old reverse psychology ploy yet. Give yourself and him a break from the battle, and if you think this is a crisis, wait until the little s**t is 12!
@grkelly (1218)
• Malta
17 Jan 13
I can understand you. My child was potty trained at 2yrs and a half approx, but still used to make a mess every now and then, even at school at 3 and a half years. I found it a good idea to cover the mattress so as to avoid having the bed's mattress full of pee. Thankfully bed wetting was over after a while. For the 'during the day' needs I found it really helpful to use disposable pants. They are practically just like nappies but much more 'grown up'. The child can pull them up and down just like panties. So you can try to choose some really colorful brand and make a huge deal out of him being like a little man and use the potty, and ever time he needs to go he is like a little man who pulls down his underwear and back up. Also, make up a star chart or a 'reward' scheme. Stick a nice sticker every time he does it right, and when he completes the whole chart give him a gift. He will be motivated to fill up the whole chart in no time hopefully. I found this to be a really helpful idea. Wish you luck dear!
@alottodo (3062)
• Australia
17 Jan 13
May be you left it too late? I started training them when they were 11 month old by the time they were 13 month no more nappies!!! except at night time and even then at 15 month they had no nappies any more but all children are different I did approach toilet training as a very normal every day thing never gave them any reward except to say good on you now you don't have to wear those yucky nappies any more! after all going to the toilet is an every day event and the sooner they get used to it the better for them and the better for the parents.
@edvc77 (2143)
• Philippines
17 Jan 13
My son urinates at potty now however he doesn't like to make "popoo" there. He is three years old now. He would tell me to put a diaper if he would "popoo." I am training him to go to toilet to urinate and popoo. However, he is kind of afraid in toilet bowl and the sound of the flush. My mother advised just let him do what he wants. She said in time he is going to toilet too. So I just use the potty when he urinates. However, in time I talk to him that he must go to toilet to do those stuffs because he is quite grown up already and everybody does it. He would just look at me. I hope he understand me.
@dorannmwin (36672)
• United States
17 Jan 13
From my own experiences in my life, I have to tell you that it is definitely much more difficult to potty train a boy than it is to potty train a girl since I've had one of each. With my son, the key was actually allowing him to stand up to pee instead of making him sit on the potty. As soon as I decided that I would allow him to stand up, he was pretty much instantly trained. After that moment, I never had another problem out of him.
• United States
17 Jan 13
I am having this same problem currently. My son, an only child, is almost three and while he is advanced in many other areas, this is not one of them. He knows where and when he is supposed to go, he just would rather not. I have been thinking it is because he does not get the needed peer pressure from other kids, since he is never around other kids. Lately, it has been getting a little better when I remind him to go, and lead him there, giving him some things to do while he sits there, and then making a real big deal of it when he does go and keeps clean underwear. I am not sure what else can be done, I have been given a lot of the same advice, and not much has actually helped. I have heard pushing them when they are not ready keeps them from potty training as soon, but he never seems frustrated, just bored. I hope you start having better luck than I!
@jambi462 (4599)
• United States
17 Jan 13
Unfortunately I don't have any kids so I don't really have any experience in the area but I too am worried about the situation when I have my own kids. Just remember that it is something new for him and he is still a really young child and will get as time goes on. I hope that everything works out for you very soon
@bluespygirl (2112)
• Philippines
17 Jan 13
Hello there! I am a mother of three. Two of them are already in their teens and my youngest is already eight years old. I really had forgotten how I trained them. But I believe that potty training is one of my hardest dilemma raising my kids. That is one of the reasons why I don't have a kid anymore. Don't get me wrong. I love being a mom. It is just that I feel that I had done with that. I wish that your kid will be potty trained. By the way, Welcome to myLot!
@leeandrew (1226)
• Philippines
17 Jan 13
I have an eighteen months old baby girl too and haven't think of potty train her yet. I was thinking of waiting till she gets two so that it will be easier for me to train her and of course it is easier for her to pick what I teaching her. But of course a lot of mom's are telling me to start early. Oh... I hope my baby will be learn fast so that I won't struggle same as you, specially that I'm planning to go back to work now and I am thinking of bringing her to my office too. My boss would definitely not happy if she messes around the office. hahaha. I really hope that your son will do it proper even if your not around. I know how hassle it is to clean and clean or going after him for that. God bless you anyway.
@Angelpink (4023)
• Philippines
17 Jan 13
Hello clv ! Your son is perfectly alright ! Intellectually he is advance but might be some emotional issues underlies that potty problem. We have a 3 yr old boy in a family before and i recalled he had a good potty habit and routine. He follow the routine and he goes to the proper place of doing his potty. He just called us when it's time of cleaning for he still can't managed by himself. Don't get mad if the boy can't do it for in him maybe that thing was so hard to perform. Just be very patient , slowly he will improve but you need to see an expert for this , so early correction can be done . Don't worry everything will be okay , you're a great mommy ! Be happy now...