Do you carry the wrongs done to you forever?

@savypat (20246)
United States
February 9, 2013 10:45am CST
We are having a man hunt here on the West Coast of USA, the press is working this hunt. Wanting to rehash the killer's life, trying to find the reason this person is killing. It seems he is trying for paybacks not only to those who have wronged him but also their families. It started me wondering how many of us carry through out our lives all the wrongs we feel were done to us. I asked myself this and found that yes some of them. I had a hard childhood and still resent that, I know that this is stupid thing to do. I would not be the person I am now without having gone through my childhood. I am fully aware the past cannot change and yet there is a small part of me that still wishes things were different. If you are honest with yourself do you also feel this way. Or are you like my Hubby who never even considers how difficult his childhood was?
5 people like this
13 responses
@louievill (19353)
• Philippines
9 Feb 13
no, i try to let go as much as i can by praying for myself and the person who has wronged me ( just my own way or practice), I would be telling a lie if I say anger does not pop up in me once in a while or plays in my head but i keep it under control, think hidden bad feelings is one reason why people get all sort of ailments.
3 people like this
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
9 Feb 13
We all do, one way or an other. As a lesson, a scarf, it's natural, nothing wrong with it either as long as you will not let it rule your life.
2 people like this
• Penrith, Australia
10 Feb 13
Yes, do not let the bad things make their best out of you.
1 person likes this
@wongchoiyee (7401)
• Malaysia
10 Feb 13
My mother really influence me a lot, she is my torch when it is dark. However, I am not an obey daughter also, and I always fight back what she taught me because I always have my own perception and feelings. But it will not be forever that way, I may forgive but not forget the people like school friends that bullied me in the past.
2 people like this
• India
10 Feb 13
To be honest I didnt have a good memories in my childhood and i have been sufferd in my life alot... for that I have hidden empty place in my heart which is not getting complete with anything else... maybe If agian I could be with my parents and I could have a happy life I was not this much broken in life that now I am... I do not think if anybody wants to be bad but some people with some bad experience in their life they start doing bad to give relaxtion to themselves maybe... that much a person can not fill comfort and relax, that much that she or he knows is less in his or her life, that much they can disturb others...
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
10 Feb 13
Not all people are capable of just shrugging off whatever happened in their past that made their life miserable. And so some would still hold on to the anger and find themselves reason to get back to make it even with them. The hurt that I have felt for certain people do not stay long enough. I just let time to heal it. There is no use holding on to anger. Coz really sometimes, there is just some misunderstanding between people that one refuses to recognize. I have learned to let go of all the hatred. Besides, I do not feel good feeling bad all the time.
2 people like this
@ARIES1973 (9539)
• Legaspi, Philippines
9 Feb 13
As much as possible I want to let go all the things that I believe had hurt me in one way or another. I don't want to live with it. I also had a hard childhood but I just think that if I would be keeping all those things inside my heart, it maybe very heavy for me to carry. As of now my only focus is to give whatever I can to my children so that they will not be able to experience those thing so that I experience before. Anyway I am already thankful that I was able to have a new life right now. Have a nice day! (*Well, I don't know if I would feel the same way if my previous experience would be that of other people have done some not so good things with my family. Thanks God I never experience those things.)
2 people like this
@jugsjugs (13045)
9 Feb 13
I will say that I can not forgive or forget what wrongs people have done to me, no matter what they are, or when they hjave happened. I feel that even with time I will never forget things and feel it would be nice to get my own back on a few people that have wronged me at some point.I also believe in karma.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (101788)
• United States
9 Feb 13
I am one that carries a few things, but then tries to put them in perspective, as you have done. I know there are still some touchy spots, but I take a deep breath and let them go. Sometimes over and over again. Sometimes current people and things in my life make me rehash stuff that is better off left. In some ways your hubby is very healthy. Mine is that way as well. His sisters and his mother always said his dad was abusive and hateful to him. He loves and respects his memory of his dad, and says, "just because he did some things that were wrong doesn't mean I should hate him, or that he was not a good person." Of course my husband knew and took into consideration the wrongs that were done to his dad as a child and young adult. . . and knew that those things shaped his father.
2 people like this
@MoonGypsy (4613)
• United States
9 Feb 13
it is very hard for me to forget wrongs that were done to me. i tend to be really upset at how i was raised and the fact that i didn't have a good child hood. it is part of the reason why i made some of the choices i made. it's part of the reason why i think and act the way i do. this goes for everyone. it's hard to just forget wrongs that were done to you because it's part of your history. i guess the key is not to live in it.
2 people like this
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
11 Feb 13
Hi Savypat, I try very hard to forgive and forget, but I'm not sure it's always possible. I would never want to 'get even' with the person, except maybe at first, when it happened, but certainly not after a few years. Would I be happy to see the person today? Would I want to become friends with him/her? Probably not, and I think that means there is still some resentment there. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@inertia4 (27713)
• United States
11 Feb 13
I think lots of people hold and walk around with resentment in their life. But it is the crazy ones that act on it. Look, I am sure there are people in your like and people in my life that we would like to have eliminated. But that is not legal and we would never do that. I for one, am waiting for Karma to come back ten fold to one person in particular. That is actually the best revenge.
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
10 Feb 13
All the wrongs that I have had done against me I carry inside, suppressed and they eat away at me, instead of payback to others, I blame myself, although it's become a lot easier thanks to great counselors I have seen and I am still seeing, as well as the antidepressants. I was abused mentally and physically as a child, I was also badly bullied, I do feel a lot of anger but I wasn't able to express it, so I turned it inwardly onto myself. I have found time a great healer though and the scars although not completely healed are still there, but not festering as they once were. Hatred, anger and revenge can eat you up and if not dealt with can have horrific consequences, sometimes on the wrong people! Because the people who have hurt you in the past are not around, then it's very difficult to have payback!
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
10 Feb 13
I dont think it is easy to just let go of the past because it is what makes us who we are today. The things that had happened to us, the things we experienced, that are us and you can't just forget everything otherwise you forget yourself. What i didnt like about what the man did was, he took the things that had happened to him negatively and not constructively. In what he did, he did not help anyone and he only caused harm to himself and it got out of control thus he harmed other people as well
1 person likes this