Some think women initiate cheating more than men

@stary1 (6622)
United States
February 18, 2013 2:14pm CST
I just read some info that said women start the cheating process as much as, if not more, than men...I have always believed the opposite..that it's men who initiate cheating on their spouse, girlfriend, etc. far more than women. Of course one can't forget there are women and men who participate in the arrangement.. What is sad is so many do not think there is anything wrong with cheating ..and seem to have an attitude of 'what they don't know won't hurt them"...Personally I would not put up with cheating and it would forever be a cause to distrust... I also hear teen girls are much more agressive than they used to be. I remember when a teen (or older) would always wait until 'the man' made the first move in asking for a date...
3 people like this
18 responses
• Poland
18 Feb 13
When I heard that someone cheated it's usually about man. But at the same time I know a few women that are cheating and flirting with other guys like they were single. I think that both genders cheat equally but women are more discret about it and it's hard to catch them red handed. At the same time women are less trusting towards their man.
1 person likes this
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
19 Feb 13
mondaylover TY...I also always thought more men cheat than women..lol except for the explanation that it takes a woman for a man to cheat. I find it interesting that you said both genders cheat equally..I neverperhaps thatis true and I am just not aware... Off topic..but I am curious ..do you really love Mondays???
• Poland
20 Feb 13
I just think that it takes some personality traits that aren't attached to gender to be able to cheat on your partner without feeling too much guilty. There are people of both genders that would never cheat and there are some people that cheat constantly. As for Mondays, I got tired of hating them so now I love them. It's better now when I see positive side of things.
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
20 Feb 13
mondaylover Makes sense what you say...since not everyone appears to feel guilty over cheating. I think that is very clever re your moniker..attitude is everything in life and what a great way to turn a negative around..
@blackrusty (3530)
• Mexico
19 Feb 13
My ex wife was the cheater in my home no sooner then i was off to work she would have some one going in the back door yes I did catch here in the act
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@stary1 (6622)
• United States
21 Feb 13
blackrusty Sorry to hear that...the hurtand anger in such a situation is understandable..and so is th 'ex' label. Hope you have found someone honest and loyal
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• Mexico
21 Feb 13
sorry i am verry much single in my life now for 20 years now
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@stary1 (6622)
• United States
21 Feb 13
blackrusty Sooo have you sworn off women because of your experience or have you just not met the 'right one'...20 years is a long time....
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@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
19 Feb 13
I don't buy the phrase.... 'what they don't know won't hurt them' I heard a friend said that. And I still don't get it why would a woman reason out for a guy. Such phrase just means you are allowing your guy or girl to cheat on you - as long as you don't know it. Isn't that something to get worried about? I would want a man tell me honestly that he once cheated than keep it from me and soon know about it. It would hurt more.
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@stary1 (6622)
• United States
21 Feb 13
enelym001 I agree it is cheating and one can never be 100% they will not find out. Things come out..and to have something hidden for a long time and discovered later would be even more damaging than finding out immediately. I would think the person would wonder..what else has he/she hidden from me...
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@stary1 (6622)
• United States
21 Feb 13
pergammano Do you really think they are desensitized? If they were, wouldn't they just be totally open and admit everything and not justify with excuses/reason like..generations have been doing it... I would think most men have been told by their 'significant other' that they better not cheat or else
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• Canada
21 Feb 13
And this is one of those misunderstandings..your other discussion spoke of, I am the culprit...I think men are desensitized to the trauma that it creates for women! The sensitive man would MIND his significant other...as he may fear the "or else," but the narcissitic man would think, "so what!"
@savypat (20246)
• United States
19 Feb 13
I don't cheat, I never would, if I wanted to I would first divorce instead of breaking my vows. Many years ago if you asked if I would stay with a cheater I would say never. Then reality set in, Hubby did it, I was a stay at home Mom, no work experience, 3 kids under the age of 7 and I just couldn't let my pride rule my life, I needed to stay married. So I did, but I went right back to school, got a part time job and started to be able to stand on my own, never again would I have to put up with a cheater. Hubby saw how difficult his cheating would be and coped out of it for a calmer life of husband and father, never cheated again. At least not that I know of, but then I never asked either.
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@stary1 (6622)
• United States
24 Feb 13
hi savypat ...Your experience is shared by many and your reaction is to be admired! I think too often, as you said, pride gets in the way and families suffer even more. I have a great deal of respect for you and admire your choice..it could not have been easy but you took a negative and made a positive out of it and I applaud you!! I think you are right too in saying it's easy to say one would never put up with cheating, because circumstances occur where one has to make the best of a bad situation. The pain makes you stronger even though it wasn't easy...good for you!!!
@savypat (20246)
• United States
24 Feb 13
Thank you. Pat
@ElicBxn (60895)
• United States
19 Feb 13
I agree, I think men initiate more than women. Having said that, I think there are some kinds of women that are willing to go with a married men. Those who just want a "lark", those who think when a man says he's going to leave his wife he is (fools), those who just want to be a man's mistress. However, I have also known certain women who can't keep their pants on... and then the b!tches wonder why their husbands divorce them...
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@stary1 (6622)
• United States
20 Feb 13
ElicBxn What I don't understand its the total disregard for the wife and her feelings..surely every woman giving in to or initiating an affair knows she could potentionally be hurting a wife, perhaps even children. And..It's one thing to rationalize the woman/wife can't 'keep her man' but what about the children..is it ok for the participating cheater to be a party to destroying a family.
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@stary1 (6622)
• United States
26 Feb 13
ElicBxn TY.. very interesting theory and I can completely accept there is some truth there.
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@cttolledo (5054)
• Philippines
19 Feb 13
Well such info might true, and I really believe that now a days both woman and man initiates cheating, they just did it in a diferrent ways. It is just that man are more vocal than woamn in terms of cheating maybe because cheating is very normal with the guys. But ofcourse not all man and woman are like that..
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@stary1 (6622)
• United States
24 Feb 13
hi cttolledo.. I agree both sexes do it. I just wonder if men do it more, as I have always believed, or am I wrong and women initiate cheating more often..
@asweetie (1188)
• India
19 Feb 13
Stary, It is true that both men and women cheat and there are lots of cheaters in the world. A man can not cheat unless a woman also cheats or have an affair with him knowing fully well he is already in a relationship and married. Same way woman can be wife and an unattached man would know it too. So it really on person to person but I do not think i would like a cheater.
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@stary1 (6622)
• United States
24 Feb 13
hi asweetie ... You are correct except there are many men and probably women, who lie and do not admit they are married..lol remember all the jokes about the tan line where a wedding ring is suppose to be. I am with you one thisone..I would not like and would not trust a cheater...
@tyleremy (170)
• China
19 Feb 13
There's no use arguing about who initiate cheating.As you said there are women and men who participate in the aggangement,then who is to blame?We don't know the answer.Personly I'll say men, most of them are more ambitious.
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@stary1 (6622)
• United States
21 Feb 13
tyleremy I agree it isn't worth a huge argument..I brought it up because I was reading and even heard some say women cheat more than men and that it opposite of what I thought. I wanted to see what others thought..and thank you for answering
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@chikapet (47)
19 Feb 13
I know women who cheat on their partners but this is a very small percentage compared to the men i know who cheat on their spouses. Cheating on my partner is one thing that cannot even cross my mind.
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@stary1 (6622)
• United States
21 Feb 13
chikapet That's what I think too..and I agree..who seriously even thinks about cheating..unless.............
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• India
19 Feb 13
A lady can do cheating as well as a men too. In my idea if a lady decides to be cheater even can do it much better than men. but usually men are weaker than ladies in controling their loyalty. But I believe that If lady decides to cheat then can do it much better than a man.
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@stary1 (6622)
• United States
20 Feb 13
extremefun4fun By 'better' do you mean women are sneakier and could get away with more for longer?? That just might be true as most women can read their husbands and boyfriends very well
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
19 Feb 13
I think that men and women are equal in the ability to intiate chetngn their rlationships. It is not just women that make the first move. Men can be in that situation just as easily. It is not fair to judge women as being the ones who begin the cheating between the two sexes.
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
20 Feb 13
sender621 I agree it's not fair to blame women as the ones who begin cheating. I wonder if you think it's ok to balme men more? Still I keep in mind a man can't cheat by himself..he needs a participant, so women do not get off guiltless.. I think men initiate cheating more than women and often the women with which they cheat are lied to as to the married status of the man. But that's just my theory..I don't have stats to back it up..
@sylvia13 (1851)
• Nelson Bay, Australia
18 Feb 13
I agree with you! I think that men see cheating as a way of being clever and "in command" too, while for women it is a way of being cheeky and daring!
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
19 Feb 13
sylvia13 I suppose you are right..but how sad that any men would see it as clever and in command...again..I am not used to thinking women cheat as I have heard of so many more men cheating than women..perhaps the women are just more sneeky and less often caught...
@celticeagle (119857)
• Boise, Idaho
18 Feb 13
Women are emotional and I think that might lend into this. I think we as women want to believe that men are unfaithful and they are just perfect little divas. Not true! I woudn't put up with it either and have always lived by the Golden Rule. I lead by example. lol I think that a good man wants a women with ethics and values, not a ho'. And we have to remember the type of energy we put out there will come to us. And communication in a relationship is important. What do we expect from this? If you haven't talked about it and it happens then maybe it was gibben from his standpoint. Maybe you just thought you were in a monogomous relationship. That sort of thing.
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
19 Feb 13
celticeagle I gave been shocked and saddened to learn of some men who I would never think would cheat, have cheated. Personally I don't think there is ever an excuse...I am starting to think it is just being accepted more and more by society and therefore some use that as justification. The shame that used to be associated with it seems to have mellowed quite a bit. I have talked to many heartbroken young ladies in my work in the past who never saw it coming..very sad..
@alberello (4755)
• Italy
19 Feb 13
I could not imagined that women can sometimes lie. However, in the end, it does not surprise me at all! Always been blamed men to betray his partner, now the opposite happens. I know, these things should not happen in the common life of the people, and more so in a couple. Luckily I've never been involved in a romantic relationship.
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@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
24 Feb 13
In my opinion there is no such winner in terms of cheating between the two. Women or men, are cheater and there is no one to blame for that actions. But when a women do cheating on her husband, this is not easy to discover while men when do cheating on his wife this much easier to discover...
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
26 Feb 13
hi aerous I think men cheat on their wives more than wives cheat on their husbands...again maybe I am wrong because wives in my opinion can keep secrets and fool men easier than men can fool women..
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
26 Feb 13
We don't say that men cheat more because women, have the ability to hide something without men knowledge. They kept the secret of having a relationship somewhere without the knowledge of their partner. Those secret reveal in a longer period of time while men, easily revealed something about cheating.
@mani118 (146)
• Pakistan
19 Feb 13
In Exams i have experienced that how girls are cheating i can't even think about that. Last Tuesday my paper of Algorithem was going on.Girls was always weak in that subject because it's a logical one.The girls was really having an eye onother Student's papr.Enen one was punished..
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
21 Feb 13
mani118 That too is cheating.. Hmmmmmmmmmm...have you told very many girls they will be weak in subjects that require logic?? I suggest,for your own good, even if you truly believe that, you not share it with any girls...
@mythociate (15946)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
18 Feb 13
Well, the woman and the man EACH hold a rock. For the sparks to fly, they each have to hold their rock steady. In traditional practice, it's the man who has the active-role in 'forcing the rocks together' (i.e. hitting the woman's rock). But the woman has the choice of either-holding her rock steady or -moving it away & keeping it away from his rock! It's a shame that men are such 'hounds.' That's why each man needs a woman to 'encourage him to stay under her porch' (Ron "Tater Salad" White, one of Jeff "You Might Be a Redneck" Foxworthy's Blue Collar Comedy friends).
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
19 Feb 13
mythociate LOL intesting use of a rock ... I agree with your reference to 'traditional' practice but also noticed the traditional is being replaced by very agressive women... I have never watched 'You Might be a Redneck' comedies...but have heard of them..
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
2 Mar 13
This is coming from a guy, I actually thought like you do, that it's men who initiate the cheating more than the woman. Cheating on any scale is wrong, what happened to the sanctity of marriage and relationships, and what happened to trust, loyalty and respect? Do they go out of the window when something lustful walks past? I am a firm believer of once a cheat, always a cheat! For both Women or Men, regardless.