Oh I really goofed.

@Hatley (164485)
Garden Grove, California
April 11, 2013 4:42pm CST
I am totally embarrassed. Yara the activity director came around asking us to sign the card for Pearl . That was her words. So thinking Pearl was merely ill I signed it and wrote I hoped she would get well soon .Then half way across the dining room I hear Yara asking someone else to sign the sympathy card. Oh My G Now what do I do? I felt like crawling under the table in total embarrassment. I thought it was a get well card. help your take. So do I say anything or let it go? perhaps if they do not know me it will just be overlooked?I have never done anything so stupid in my life.I did really think she meant a get well card.the thing is Pearl was special as she was the only one who was 101 years old.I did not realize she had passed away.For one stupid thing here at G old Crest nobody is ever told here when someone dies which is totally wrong.
10 people like this
39 responses
@Bluedoll (17052)
• Canada
11 Apr 13
I had to laugh Hatley because there is a funny side to your story but I am not laughing at you or the situation. Things like that happen and people should understand so or there is something wrong with them. If it was me, I think I would have tried to replace the card but now that it is done all you can do is explain exactly what you wrote here. The main thing is don't you let this bother you. I know just from reading many of your things here your heart is in the right place and you did not mean anything evil. You know it was George that said, "you don't have to worry about dieing when you are over a hundred because few people die over a hundred". He had a wonderful sense of humour and outlook on life. We should honour that about him and think of poor Pearl not poor anymore but in a joyful place. Smile Hately and don't worry about embarrassment. I think if something is said to you, you can respond but otherwise just let it go.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
hi Bluedoll it is kind of funny too so hope maybe the relatives will laugh and wonder. they do not know me so I guess I'll just pretend to be innocent for now.She was a 101 our oldest resident herel
@Bluedoll (17052)
• Canada
12 Apr 13
You don't have to pretend you are innocent. You didn't know. Nobody can be expected to know everything, we are busy in life and things go unnoticed, even people dying around us. It is sad thinking about it but everyone leaves at some point. I hope you were able to get her a little. Some passing gets everyone thinking.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
hi BlueDoll Yara took care of my errors and four other errors as she has some stuff she used to erase our messages and just leave our names. I am so glad I was not the only ly one to err like that.
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
11 Apr 13
Please don't feel embarrassed as it was not your mistake. Those employed by this Home should should say when people die. How were you to know if no one told you? They should be embarrassed - not you. Don't bother to say or do anything.
2 people like this
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
11 Apr 13
Now I am the one that is stupid as I meant have sent you two hugs not two 'have a nice day' emoticons
2 people like this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
11 Apr 13
hi cynthiann yes its sad that they cannot just say we lost Pearl today . so I will just hope nobody noticed my goof as there were 100 some signatures on it .,
1 person likes this
• Mexico
12 Apr 13
Those things can happen to anyone. I think the home should have told everyone about this....
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24126)
• Carlisle, England
11 Apr 13
Oh Hatley, that's so wrong that you're not told of any deaths at Gold Crest. If no-one said then it's not really your fault that you thought the card was a Get Well Soon card. Hugs to you my friend...and don't feel too embarrassed about it.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
Hi Janey I just talk d to Yara and she told me it was okay so I think she will just cross out the message adn leave my signature. I hope so anyway. If they would just announce deathss here it would be the normal thing to do.
@Janey1966 (24126)
• Carlisle, England
12 Apr 13
I agree.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
hi Janey It turned out four others besides me made the same error so she had some stuff that erased our messages and just left our names instead. I was glad I was not the only one to goof.
@velvet53 (17406)
• Palisade, Colorado
12 Apr 13
It was an honest mistake. If they didn't tell you then how were you to know. I would just leave it as it is. I am sure everyone will understand.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
This is kind of funny as I went to tell Yara about my erro r and she told me four others had made the same error so she hgs just marked out our messages and left our names. I am so glad she did that. She say the owners do not want to announce deaths a they think it will upset us which to me is a lot of hoey .
@velvet53 (17406)
• Palisade, Colorado
12 Apr 13
Myself I would know about things and not have have it brought to my attention that way.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
hi velvet yes it would seem easy to know but its not as thre are 114 residents here and often people get sick and go to the hospital so we really do no know and there is no grapevine thing here like in other places at all.
@ElicBxn (60895)
• United States
11 Apr 13
If they don't tell you, how would you know? Sounds like its THEIR problem!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
hi ElicBxn I talked to Yara and she crossed out my message and left my name as she had to d o for fou r others who made the same error.I feel much better now that its been taken care of.I told Yara it would be a good idea to announce the deaths of our friends here. But she said the three owners do not want to do that as it might upset some of the residents here.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
yes thats as sad thing as some are here for that reason as their kids do not realize that mom and dad cared for them whether it was convinent or not and raiseds them and loved them even when ihey were not too loveable but now they see their parents as old people who are a drag. I hate this I am not here because of that.Ours was simply that we were homeless anf broke and my son did not want me to spend my days going back and forth in homeless shelters so this was a haven. he comes to see me all the time.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (60895)
• United States
12 Apr 13
I know, as I said, you are the exception. Now, my mom chose to live where she did. And for the first 7 years she lived in her own apartment. But the strokes took their toll and she spent the last 4 in the health care center. Those were the hardest 4 years of my life, so far... The last 12 months were the worst.
1 person likes this
@mariaperalta (19094)
• Mexico
11 Apr 13
Dont feel bad, things like that happen. They should have told everyone before they passed the card around.
1 person likes this
• Mexico
11 Apr 13
I agree, they seem to do thing all wrong there. Hope you have a great evening there...
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
11 Apr 13
yes so many things here to me do not make sense but anyway its a lovely day.
1 person likes this
• Mexico
11 Apr 13
They need many of you to get together there and complain.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119857)
• Boise, Idaho
12 Apr 13
I would give a little bit so you aren't so upset. If you feel going to Yara I would just tell her the truth. Can you re-sign it? I would feel better about it if I tell Yara my mistake but that is up to you. Pearl was an oldster wasn't she? I hope I live that long.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
hi Celtic i went to Yara to tell her and she was laughing as I was the fifth one to write a get well soon message.She had some liquid that she erased the messages with and just left our names I am so happy that its all straightened out now,. I would not have wanted the family to read those messages.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119857)
• Boise, Idaho
12 Apr 13
I was thinking of the liquid eraser too. Glad you got it all straightened out.
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
13 Apr 13
hi I am also glads asI did not want her relatives reading our goofs like that.like that. happy again now.
1 person likes this
@MaryLynn321 (2680)
• United States
11 Apr 13
Hi Hatley, I would contact the activity director about this and let her know that she did not say it was a sympathy card. It is possible that maybe she could remove the comment and you could jot down another one. If not, you could send your own sympathy card. That is such a shame that they don't tell everyone that someone passed away. What do they think that you won't notice when the person is no longer around.
• United States
11 Apr 13
Hi Hatley, Just me again. I really would not worry to much about the card. Things like this happen. No need to feel bad about it. They should have told you what the card was for.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
hi MaryLynn I just talked to Yara and she will just cross out the message and just leave my name. She said I was not the onl y one to make that error.That does make me shu ld be annou nced here.hyukld be announced here.
• Mexico
12 Apr 13
I also agree , someone there should be in charge of this kind of thing.
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20979)
• United States
11 Apr 13
Hatley, your were not stupid, the director should have said what the card was for. I am sure if you explain to pearl that you were not properly informed,she would understand..
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
11 Apr 13
carm the misunderstanding was I thought she was in ther hospital but no she passed away so the card is to her relatives a sympathy card not a get well card..I feel so silly as I just assumed it was a get well card.so one should never assume. lol
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
no but when Yara said it was for Pearl I also thought she was alive but sick instead. I told Yara and she told me four others also made the same error so she just crossed out the messages and left our names instead.Glad its all fixed up.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Apr 13
Oh good,I am glad it was taken care of.
1 person likes this
@JohnRok1 (2051)
12 Apr 13
If they use the right tippex, you can write over it, so there should be no difficulty putting it right. Tell them that if they don't even try to put it right you'll have to act consistently with the role they've forced on you and call a faith healer to try to bring her back.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
whew thanks Jo hn I needed a laugh. I went to Yara and found four others had also made the same errors so she crossed out all the errors and just left our names instead. So I am glad I am done with that.
@JohnRok1 (2051)
12 Apr 13
Well, I hope she used tippex or snopake or whatever it is you buy in America, rather than presenting the family with a card containing crossings out which you still can read.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
hi John no I saw her using something that just sort of erased the messages and thus just left our signatures. I was surprised as the card looked fine no messy crossing out . There werer four besides myself who made the same error.
@bjc66bjc (6745)
• United States
11 Apr 13
omg Hatley, I don't know what to say to you for that is certainly a bid boo boo..can you get the card and just tastefully totally cross out that entire remark and just sign your name...It would be better if you had a marker and make an long thick cross out... I just can not imagine what else you could do...I feel bad for you...
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
hi bjc no I tried that and she said nobody would notice as there are over a hundred signatures on the card., Perhaps she will cross that out and just leave my name.If only they had announced it in the the first place it would have made things much easier.She knew my goof so maybe she wil mark it out.I was really embarrassed to have t ll her. loll
@bjc66bjc (6745)
• United States
12 Apr 13
Oh ok, well I would not worry about it like you stated it all could have been avoided had they made it known what the card was for...Just know that you had very good intentions and let it go...for Pearl will never know you made that error....sorry I could not pass that statement by....
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
ugh something has it in for me as its swallowing up myh comments fast as I type them. I told Yara and she told me that four others also thought it was a get well card so she crossed out our messages and just left our names.
• Canada
11 Apr 13
Oh Hatley I feel so bad for you I hate when things like that happen, I would ask for the card back (if you can) and try and correct it that was stupid of the activity director to of not explained it to you. Just tell her you thought it was a get well card maybe she will understand.
• Canada
11 Apr 13
Hi Hatley No worries like you say there are so many signatures they probably wont notice, and you are right they should of made an announcement of this I worked in a nursing home (I know you are in a retirement home) from another discussion, but when I worked in the nursing home everyone staff and residents were always notified of someone who passed away this was no fault of yours they should of been more clearer.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
yes it really is not a nursing home as we have no nurses at all and no doctors on staff nor any hospital beds or rooms for ill,Just a retirement center with ages fro m thirty, forty, fifty on up. No really ill people here either.Yara claims that the three owners do not want to announce deaths as they are afraid it would upset some people.
• Mexico
12 Apr 13
It happens, Id feel more bad for the idiots who didnt tell anyone. What kind of monkey place do they run there?
@RitterSport (2452)
• Lippstadt, Germany
17 Apr 13
its really bad they wont tell you who has passed away so such misunderstandings as you had can occur. I would think that in Senior Citizens Homes they would post important news like this on sort of a board so everyone can read or put it in a weekly bulletin for the residents. Shame on them for not doing that.
1 person likes this
• Lippstadt, Germany
17 Apr 13
hi dear Hatley it was Yara in the first place who goofed and not you. Could she not have told you and others more precise what the card was for? that liquid eraser is a piece of magic for sure.
1 person likes this
@Pegasus72 (1901)
12 Apr 13
Oh my that is a hard one. I haven't done this sort of thing yet, but I am sure it will come in time.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
h.i Pegasus I went to Yara to tell her about my goof and she showed me four other get well soonmessages so she had some stuff she erased them with and just left our names there. So now I am happy its been repaired and the family will never know
@Pegasus72 (1901)
12 Apr 13
See you were not the only one, glad she was able to erase a bit of them .
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
14 Apr 13
yes me too as it just looked like we had ajujst added our names too,. sch a relief.
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
12 Apr 13
it seems to me that they might have told you what the card was for....
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
hi dawn. Yes it seemed to me too and to four others. I went to see Yara and she laughed when I told her about my goof as she had just used a special liquid to remove four other get well fast messages so she did mine too.So now all thats there are our names.That is a big relief to me.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
12 Apr 13
and I also wonder why the person didn't say "for Pearl's family"....
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
hi dawn I wondered about that myself tool and four of us did not catch the smpathy card bit either S o she had to erase our messaged with a pecial liq yid of some sort. She did leave our n oaes
@ladygator (3469)
• United States
12 Apr 13
Oh my gosh!! That is terrible! I would have been so embarrassed as well. Well maybe even more than embarrassed. I would have stopped them and told them right away that I needed to change it. I am very emotional though, so for me I would have had a very difficult time in letting it go, then I would have created a big scenario in my mind on how things went when they read the card. The comfort in this is that, usually I over-exaggerate by a large margin.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
hi I am very shy so what I finally did was go to Yara and tell her my error.She laughed and showed me four others had also made the same error so she had some stuff she put over our messages that obliterated them then she just left our signatures. I felt a lot better seeing my own error then sort of erased so it would not upset her relatives. I was not the only one who misunderstood in other words.
@ladygator (3469)
• United States
12 Apr 13
well thats great news!! I am sure that you were so relieved! I am glad that she was able to catch that to prevent any potential mishaps from getting to the family. I do think that this might be a good experience to let your employer know that you should be notified that someone has passed away from your place of business.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
grrrr my whole comment was just erased by some gremlin I guess so copy every word now.I asked Yara and she said the owners refuse to announce deaths as they do not want to upset residents which to me is silly.It is a retirement center and we are all adults not ill just retired.
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
12 Apr 13
Oh, sorry to hear about this my dear Don't feel bad, we all commit little mistakes. I can't remember the last time I did the same thing. Take care always mam
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
hi jaiho I found out that four others made the same errors and so Yara just crossed out the errors and just left our names instead . I was so glad that I talked to her and am happy now.
• Mexico
12 Apr 13
I would nt fee l bad, was the homes fault in the first place. Shame on them...
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
Yara had som e sort of liquied she used that took off the writing and left the names instead. I am glad she did that for all vive of sr who erred. lol.
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
11 Apr 13
I think it's a great shame that they don't inform you that she had passed away, and you are not expected to be a mind reader! It was an easy mistake to make my friend, don't beat yourself about it, these things happen to the best of us. That was a grand old age though 101! In the UK if you reach 100 you get a telegram from the Queen!
1 person likes this
• Mexico
12 Apr 13
I agree, weather someone moves out or passes on. They should have a board or something letting everyone know.
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
yes a bulletin board would be an ideal thing. I will suggest it. to Yara.
@bunnybon7 (37400)
• Holiday, Florida
11 Apr 13
oh dear. its not your fault. if they didnt tell anyone then im sure a lot of others did the same. maybe in your perception you noticed another one saying something similar . sometimes our minds see something that doesnt register fully. so likely there were others on the card like that. its terrible that they dont inform of someones passing to others. they should have a bulletin board or something to put up in loving memory signs you should suggest it.
1 person likes this
• Mexico
12 Apr 13
Sure not your fault , those people need to tell you about things like that.
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 13
es mar ikt w uld be nice but until more p eople here gt off thier b utts andf also compain nothing is ever done.
• Indonesia
12 Apr 13
don't be so sad or feel embarrassed. cause you know? all of the people always do some mistake and we can't avoid it. so just take easy.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
13 Apr 13
then it's good to hear that,,,