Cheating - What choice would you make?
By HellieRich
@helenrich (59)
September 16, 2015 10:40am CST
I recently encountered a difficult situation in my workplace involving one of my friends. She is generally a faithful person to her spouse, but a few months ago she got involved with another member of staff where we work. When I say involved, I mean she started cheating on her spouse.
She tells me about it, and has asked me to keep it a secret. However, her husband recently asked me if there was anything going on with somebody, or if she seemed suspicious. my answer was:
"Not that I know of."
Was this right of me? Would you have given a different answer?
I feel like I should have told the truth...
21 people like this
21 responses
@GardenGerty (157671)
• United States
16 Sep 15
He needs to ask his wife what is going on. That is what you should have told him in my opinion.
8 people like this
@owlwings (43915)
• Cambridge, England
16 Sep 15
You are right, GardenGerty. It's a very difficult situation. Probably the best answer has to be "I think that's something you should ask your wife". Whatever answer you give, however, you are probably going to lose the friendship of one or other of the couple and possibly both. That may or may not matter, of course, but if one is a workmate, that can be tricky.
2 people like this
@patgalca (18181)
• Orangeville, Ontario
16 Sep 15
I agree with @GardenGerty. He should ask her himself even if he thinks she'll deny it, you can intimate in your tone of voice that he is right in his suspicions.
1 person likes this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
17 Sep 15
I agree with @GardenGerty, too. It's a bad position to be in, and if you say anything or don't say anything, you can still get in trouble with one or the other.
1 person likes this
@fufurinha (11930)
• Portugal
16 Sep 15
Cheating is a delicate thing. It is not easy to talk about it.
2 people like this
@sweetloveforeve (13106)
• Portugal
16 Sep 15
absolutely it is. and the problem is will the person believe that what we are saying is the truth? will at least try to investigate if be in doubt? because i had a friend who knew her friend was being cheated by her bf and she just believed her bf when he said it wasnt true and stopped talking with my friend :(
@fufurinha (11930)
• Portugal
16 Sep 15
@sweetloveforeve oh, that is really bad. Sometimes love can blind us!
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18181)
• Orangeville, Ontario
16 Sep 15
There were a whole bunch of affairs going on in my former workplace. In one incidence the wife called me crying. I didn't know what to do because her husband was a supervisor but we were all like a family there. Finally I just told her to tell me what she thought. When she answered correctly I then told her she already knew then. So, I didn't have to say anything. But I really wanted to tell her. She is a wife, I am a wife, I hate cheating husbands but I didn't hate my co-worker though I didn't condone what he had done. So in my situation, I told her without actually saying the words. I even offered to come to her but she said no. That was 25 years ago and as far as I know they are still together so I think they got past it.
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11120)
• Malaysia
17 Sep 15
I was also trying to find the right answer to give until I saw this response and I realize there really IS no right answer. It's a difficult situation that no one should be put in. But the fact that the husband started asking around means that he already sensed something was wrong.
@kevin1877uk (36988)
•
16 Sep 15
That really puts you in the middle of things, I would have to be honest and tell the truth, NO one should cheat on their partners, I find it totally wrong that people do that.
1 person likes this
@Angelee_27 (3460)
• United States
16 Sep 15
This is indeed a difficult situation. It's not easy when you are put in the middle of things like this. Personally, I would tell my co-worker that I do not appreciate being put in the middle of such a personal situation between her and her spouse. I would also encourage her to tell her spouse the truth before someone else does!
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
18 Sep 15
If you feel that indulging in extra marital affair is not a welcome step, then it would have been better if you would have given a hint about it to your friend's husband. Perhaps by not telling here husband you are not doing any good to your friend.
@sweetloveforeve (13106)
• Portugal
16 Sep 15
I think the same as you that it is better to say the truth. But how well do you know her husband? is he your friend? because if he is your friend he might believe you. but if he just knows you but isnt close to you maybe you better dont say anything cause she might deny it and you will be seen as a liar :( i had a friend back in high school, that told me that she had a friend and she knew her bf was cheating. my friend and the entire school knew but no one told the girl. so my friend told her because was friends with her. in the end, the girl believed her friend, that told her he didnt cheat, and she stopped to talk with my friend :( so think well before you make a decision ^^ good luck.
1 person likes this
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
1 Oct 15
it's better now to interfere in such things. I guess you made a good choice
@Novelangel (394)
• United States
17 Sep 15
I like what GardenGerty said. This is not your place to comment or accuse. He should be asking her these questions. It would be tough to be in that situation though. I'm not sure how well I would handle it myself.
@Avimom (65)
• Gurgaon, India
17 Sep 15
You should speak truth because this is not good by social or not anyone. So tell true.
@simone10 (54189)
• Louisville, Kentucky
20 Sep 15
I agree with @GardenGerty. It's not fair that they have put you in the middle of such a difficult situation.
@sparial02 (858)
• India
30 Oct 15
You can fall in love with anyone, anytime.. this is a thing which is pretty hard to describe.. The only way that can solve the problem is just telling the truth.. but we like to keep our life in balance.. so this balance play creates a lot of difficult situations..The things we want most, we don't get it that easy,, but when we get what we want.. we failed to use it properly sometimes..
@waflay (2737)
• Nairobi, Kenya
17 Sep 15
I think you did the right thing. It is not cool to stick in the middle when couples are having a hard time i their marriage. Be safe and it will be cool to stay away from either of them because the end results of her unfaithfulness will come to hurt someday.
@cgalavia (1436)
• Philippines
17 Sep 15
Anyone wouldn't want to get involved like that so what you did is right,before he asked you maybe he's the one to ask her wife,a confrontation if there is something wrong going on.It's better when he knew it from her than hearing to others,it hurts!
@else34 (13517)
• New Delhi, India
17 Sep 15
@helenrich,it's a tough question.If you had told him the truth,you would have broken the faith of the lady who had asked you to keep the liaison secret.And if now you are feeling guilty for not having told the truth to the husband,it means you have committed something wrong.Let me ponder over it,please.
@gregario888 (1276)
• Aurangabad, India
17 Sep 15
One may have a few wild oats to sow, so if she likes it, then let her will be done!
@rashmiravishibu (84)
• Kollam, India
17 Sep 15
First you should correct your friend. A friend has a lot of things to do in one's life. Some matters we can't share with our partner or parents but that can be shared with trustworthy friends. So when our friends are going in the wrong path we only can correct it. You only know the nature, likes, dislikes, behaviour etc of your friend, You carry on with some counselling sections with your friend. You should make her understand the importance of trust, love and care between partners, which once lost cannot be recovered and plight of the children brought under clashing parents.
