The update on the X boyfriend
By winterose
@winterose (39887)
Canada
December 28, 2015 1:58am CST
As you know my boyfriend of 16 years broke up with me on Christmas Eve, supposedly because of his complicated life.
I have a friend online who also has been his friend for 20 years. She emailed him just to see what is in his head. She doesn't know if he will even answer her and I am certainly not holding my breath.
7 people like this
13 responses
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
29 Dec 15
it is kinda of hard not to think about him, it is still too fresh
@kyrararen (601)
• Indonesia
29 Dec 15
but it's sixteen effing years! that's not how it works. I mean you can't really help her not thinking anything of him after such a long time together.
@Dalane (691)
• United States
29 Dec 15
My heart goes out to you. Having someone break off a relationship after 16 years is tough, and then to do it on Christmas Eve is even more difficult. I wish you strenghth during this difficult time and hope that you can move forward in peace.
2 people like this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
29 Dec 15
It will take a long time before I can move forward that is for sure
@ElusiveButterfly (45939)
• United States
28 Dec 15
Wow, on Christmas Eve? What a unit. Just let it roll of you like rain. Clearly it is his loss and not yours.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45939)
• United States
29 Dec 15
@winterose it is hard to let it go. But, please don't dwell on it and let it consume you. Find something that brings you great joy and focus on that.
@kyrararen (601)
• Indonesia
28 Dec 15
woa, 16 years romantic relationship? that's the longest I have ever heard(in my country, we only hear such time span in marriage). I am sorry to hear it.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
28 Dec 15
thank you yes it is very hard to take, and it will take a long time to heal my broken heart.
1 person likes this
@kyrararen (601)
• Indonesia
29 Dec 15
@winterose I wish only the best for you. I have never been in such long romantic relationship, so my experience is no where close to compare. I do understand it is hard not to reflect and rewind it over and over just to make sure ourselves. just one, don't let it drag your self so down while you are taking your time. *hugs*
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
2 Jan 16
@kyrararen I am a therapist I fully understand the grief process and it does not get better over night.
@saurabhrmp (2283)
• Hyderabad, India
28 Dec 15
I don't know why are you still thinking about him. Leave him and live freely. As per my belief: If your love is going then let her/him go and if he/she comes back then that is the true love.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
2 Jan 16
@saurabhrmp I am a therapist I fully understand the process, and it is a process, it takes time to get over and it is normal that it takes time to get over
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
29 Dec 15
have you ever experienced a broken heart? I doubt it so you really have no idea.
1 person likes this
@saurabhrmp (2283)
• Hyderabad, India
29 Dec 15
@winterose; Yes, I had experienced but my friends helped me in coming from that negative thing and that's why I am telling you the same as a friend.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
29 Dec 15
that is not important why we did not get married, the discussion is about him leaving me on Christmas Eve
1 person likes this
@trivia79 (7828)
• El Segundo, California
29 Dec 15
@winterose Oh i'm sorry if i crossed over the border! By the way, hope you get back together again 
1 person likes this
@pumpkinjam (8539)
• United Kingdom
28 Dec 15
If he's been with you for 16 years, surely you're part of his 'complicated' life and you're there to help him get through it. I could understand if it had been 6 months/if you didn't know each other well but surely after that time... :?
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
29 Dec 15
I guess I am complicating his life, though trust me it is not like that but probably is with him,
@snowy22315 (170301)
• United States
29 Dec 15
well, that is really tough. My guess is he was thinking about it for a long time. Things like this rarely occur in a vacuum. At least you had someone. I have an ex who likes me...but it just doesn't work between us...so we are really better off as friends...but it gets lonely. I remember you winter rose nice to see you again.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
29 Dec 15
at this point I we are not even friends, because I have not heard from him since Christmas eve.
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
29 Dec 15
I believe I have responded to your other post which i related to this one. And again, I feel your pain as I have been let down by an ex as well. You are right in not holding your breath if he will ever answer her, or if he will tell the truth. I know it will be a long journey to moving on from this, but it is not impossible. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
28 Dec 15
I am sorry that your boyfriend broke up with you on Christmas Eve! What a horrible day for that to happen. I don't know if you remember when me and my ex husband were on this site before? Well we are broken up. We've been split for years, and are divorced. He actually split with me close to Christmas.
Pretty much spouting the same thing, complicated life etc etc. I know that you are upset and broken hearted now but I do hope for the best for you in the future.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
29 Dec 15
thanks hon, it will take time, of course, but I will get over him
@ricki_911 (21625)
• Toronto, Ontario
29 Dec 15
Sorry to hear. Possible he has someone else in mind, or thought it over and realized he needs changes. DId something happen lately to make a decision? a fight?. I would let him have some space, but let him know you are there. Whether he comes back or not it is his loss.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
2 Jan 16
It is a big complicated story, it has been rocky between us for a year. He does have another woman.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
3 Jan 16
@ricki_911 yes Ricki I am working on that. I am talking to a man online and seeing where it is going.
@ricki_911 (21625)
• Toronto, Ontario
2 Jan 16
@winterose Since he has another woman than that is your answer. You mean nothing to him, and he was just waiting for the right now that suits him. You need someone who will support you and love you not when it suits them like he is clearly doing.
@Jessicalynnt (50525)
• Centralia, Missouri
1 Jan 16
or because he felt guilty. anyways, whatever it takes to heal!
