Today is Not a Good Day
@BelleStarr (61047)
United States
July 29, 2018 9:30am CST
After church this morning I stopped by to see my mother at the nursing home. It was 10 am and she was sleeping in the recreation room in front of the TV. When I rubbed her leg she opened her eyes but did not react to me. She flinched when I tried to kiss her.
Her hands and arms felt cold so I went and got a blanket to cover her. The aide asked me if I wanted to keep her up, they planned to put her back to bed. Really? It's 10 am.
As we got ready to leave, another patient Doreen started to cry. She has not been here as long as my mother but I never see anyone visiting her. She evidently thinks I am her family. It was very sad to have to leave her crying.
I am trying not to be too depressed, I hate it when my mom doesn't know me. I am going to call hospice tomorrow and see if I can get her back in the program, believe me when I tell you, she is failing.
21 people like this
25 responses
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
29 Jul 18
I'm so sorry. =( 
I can't imagine that feeling. Heart breaking I'm sure.
I can't imagine that feeling. Heart breaking I'm sure.3 people like this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
29 Jul 18
Thanks, Jen, yes it is heartbreaking and it leaves me with a heavy heart for the rest of the day.
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (45123)
• Canada
29 Jul 18
I hope you are able to make things more pleasant for your mom. All the best!
2 people like this
@MainerMikeBrown (1373)
• Bridgton, Maine
29 Jul 18
@BelleStarr , I've read that those in hospice tend to be happier than those in nursing homes.
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
29 Jul 18
I try, we will see if I can get Hospice back.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
30 Jul 18
@marlina Yes but this luck is a two-edged sword.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
29 Jul 18
Thank you, it upsets me for days when I have a visit like this. I know she is 103 but still, I so look forward to her recognizing me.
1 person likes this
@marlina (154166)
• Canada
29 Jul 18
@BelleStarr , Very upsetting for sure. You are lucky to still have your mom at this age.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
31 Jul 18
She had them for 9 months and it was great. Thank you for the hugs, I am feeling pretty down about it.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66857)
• Philippines
2 Aug 18
i am sorry your mother reacts like that. if it is not too much to ask, how old is your mother?
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
2 Aug 18
My mother is 103. She was sharp and with it until she was about 100. The last three years have been tough.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66857)
• Philippines
4 Aug 18
@BelleStarr really? your mother may be included already among the world's oldest people. do you wish to see her as healthy and able as when she was in her age of 90? i hope the people in the hospice give their care and concern to your mother.
@Courtlynn (66921)
• United States
3 Aug 18
So sorry she didn't know it was you, and that she is failing, and you need hospice again..
And that poor woman with no visitors.. so sad.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
3 Aug 18
I know it made an already sad visit even sadder.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45939)
• United States
29 Jul 18
This saddens my heart. My mother was not the same when we visited her yesterday. She usually is delighted to see Little Miss. She barely broke a smile.
We brought her lunch and ate with her. Little Miss kept sharing her food with my mom. Mom would grin a little. But didn't utter a word.
Once she was finished with her meal, she dozed off. My sister and I tried to wake her and engage her in conversation, but to no avail. We brought her to the community room and wheeled her to a table where a resident sat. I hoped it would motivate her to wake up and talk with her. This resident is chatty. I know her from when I was her aid when she was home. Mom clearly was tired and we decided to leave her there. We kissed her and told her we would see her again soon.
Saddens my heart so much. I feel your pain lady, Sending big hugs your way.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
31 Jul 18
Sending hugs right back at you. That is how my mom was a year or two ago, now she is way past that stage,
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
3 Aug 18
Thank you, the hugs are much appreciated. There is such a thing as living too long, and my mother is there now.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (48447)
• Canada
29 Jul 18
Oh that is so sad.
I feel bad for you.
I think that the full moon has to have an effect on both your mother's as well as the other lady's moods. And that could explain why the staff were putting her back to bed, maybe she had a rough night and didn't sleep well.
Hopefully the hospice can put her back on their list again.
I think that the full moon has to have an effect on both your mother's as well as the other lady's moods. And that could explain why the staff were putting her back to bed, maybe she had a rough night and didn't sleep well.
Hopefully the hospice can put her back on their list again.1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
3 Aug 18
I hope so but I am not too hopeful.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (48447)
• Canada
3 Aug 18
@BelleStarr Even if she is failing, she is loved, and that has probably lengthened her life in such a positive way.
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
30 Jul 18
Thanks Anna, when she is like that it makes my heart heavy.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (458180)
• Switzerland
31 Jul 18
@BelleStarr I know, I am glad that my mom only had a few days like that.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
2 Aug 18
I am very heavy hearted, it is not something anyone wants to have to go through.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
3 Aug 18
The only good thing is that my mom doesn't seem to realize where she is, she never asked about home.
1 person likes this
@thelme55 (76476)
• Germany
8 Aug 18
@BelleStarr I think that is best that she didn't know that she is not home. Maybe she feels home there.
@amitkokiladitya (171936)
• Agra, India
30 Jul 18
Ohh..this its terrible. I know things are so uneasy at your end. All I can do is do is to stimulate you to stay strong
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
30 Jul 18
Thank you, yes I try to stay strong, I am so sad.
1 person likes this
@amitkokiladitya (171936)
• Agra, India
30 Jul 18
@BelleStarr I know you can do this. Stay strong always. Best wishes for your mother
@GardenGerty (157551)
• United States
29 Jul 18
Hospice can do a wonderful lot of good. I hope you can get her back in. My dad became unresponsive to my brother, they went to the ER and he had a serious UTI. I send you hugs, and prayers.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
2 Aug 18
UTI are very common among seniors, my mom has never had one but I know many others have.
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
3 Aug 18
Thank you , yes it is hard but well, life can be hard at times.
@Tampa_girl7 (48958)
• United States
29 Jul 18
My heart breaks for you
my mama doesn't always know me.
my mama doesn't always know me. 1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
2 Aug 18
Having your mother not recognize you is such a heartbreak and I know how downcast if makes me feel. How is your father doing?
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
3 Aug 18
Yes it is sad, every visit leaves me with such a heavy feeling but it is all part of life I guess.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
31 Jul 18
Yes, it is a blessing and a curse. She is not enjoying life any longer.
