HAVE YOU NOTICED?

Have You Noticed? - Comments and responses
@ossie16d (11834)
Australia
December 17, 2006 12:32am CST
Have you noticed that some people only comment on responses to their discussions when the respondent agrees with their opinion? Everyone else who responds doesn’t even get a “thank you” and of course if these people give out a “best response” then it will be to someone who agrees with them. It is more than likely there are only a small number of offenders and I make no apologies for calling them offenders, and their actions are not taking into account that not everyone will agree with them on every subject. I have noticed this several times lately and wonder whether or not in the future I should even bother to respond to the discussions started by these people. Please discuss this issue.
15 people like this
74 responses
@14missy (3185)
• Australia
17 Dec 06
I agree. I think it is just plain rude not to post after each persons response! If you were in a face to face discussion, you would reply to that person not ignore them, and this is just ignorant! Even if I don't agree with someone in one of my discussions I still say "thankyou for your response" or "I appreciate your opinion" I think the best idea is to ignore these people the way they ignore others and they will soon stop getting as many posts (and money)
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
18 Dec 06
It seems that many of us are of the same opinion, i.e. it is good manners to acknowledge someone who responds to a discussion we started and you have summed it up nicely by making the comparison by a face to face conversation and one in a forum. Thank you. :) After reading all of these responses so far, I have decided that I will no longer respond to a discussion started by someone who does acknowledge people who make a quality response and also those who seem to give ratings which are not merited. Why should we line their pockets, when they are obviously not interested in what others have to say to their discussions. Thanks so very much for contributing to the discussion. :) Thanks very much for contributing to this discussion.
1 person likes this
@ausnikki (4089)
• Brisbane, Australia
17 Dec 06
I've noticed this too and quite frankly it's crap.Not everyone is going to have the same opinion and to ignore the ones who don't agree is very rude!I will be having second thoughts about responding to these offenders too.
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
17 Dec 06
Yes it is rude and rewards people for being in agreement with the person who started the discussion rather than for their comments. I saw one discussion where several people had responded and all but 2 gave quality responses. The 2 both gave one word answers and the first one of those was given a best response. Why, he agreed with the person who started the discussion. Thanks for reading and contributing to the discussion ausnikki. :)
1 person likes this
@ausnikki (4089)
• Brisbane, Australia
17 Dec 06
You're welcome.I only respond if I have something to contibute,whether I agree with them or not,but to be ignored just because I don't happen to agree is wrong.One or two word answers do NOT deserve best response! :)
2 people like this
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
17 Dec 06
I am now beginning to believe that there are a number of people here just for the money and have no interest whatsoever in contributing to a discussion at all and this is sad really. However, I will not line their pockets in future by responding to those who do not play by the rules. :)
1 person likes this
@shadowauror (1517)
• India
17 Dec 06
well dude ... for starters .. i dont thank people for coming and discussing and i dont think its necessary to thank .. coming together and discussing a problem ... its not like u have a debate with the person and in the end telling him thank you for the debate... at least thats my opinion .. And about marking best responses u shouldnt think like that .. Are u responding for getting best responses only ?? Discuss for the sake of discussing ... not getting a thank you or a best response... we'd just raise our opinions :D!! Peace my man .. its ok if u dont thank me or gimme best response :D :D !!
2 people like this
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
17 Dec 06
Firstly I respect the right for everyone to have an opinion, even if it differs from mine. I think that some people start a discussion and then do not read the responses or they glance over a couple and give our a rating based on who agrees with them, rather than on merit. So, if I respond to one of your discussions and raise a question, will you read and answer my question? I do not respond to discussions based on getting a best response but because the topic interests me and I want to share my opinion. What I am saying is that if a person is going to give a best response to one of their discussions, then it should be for the right reasons, i.e. the quality of the response. You might not like it but I will thank you for contributing to the discussion and at some time I will give some ratings, and it might just be you who gets one. LOL
2 people like this
@chanfrado (1166)
• Portugal
17 Dec 06
I think I agree with your opinion. When I post on any thread I'm not waiting to see any "Thank you for your response" because it only shows that the thread starter only wants people to reply to his/her thread. I say thank you only if I have a good response for any comment. I won't reply only "Thank you for your reply" as many people does.
1 person likes this
@chanfrado (1166)
• Portugal
17 Dec 06
ossie16d, comments like yours are a great example for all of us. That's the kinf of responses everybody should give, otherwise don't reply with only "Thank you". :)
2 people like this
@owlwings (37883)
• Cambridge, England
17 Dec 06
If you read the guidelines, we are discouraged from posting a 'thank you' comment to every response. I do agree that there are people who post only to receive comments that agree with their views. That happens, unfortunately, in any discussion forum. If I feel I have something to say on the topic, I usually still do: there is always a chance that someone else with a broader view will read it and bigots still need their heads turning forcibly, even though it's often about as much use as trying to stop a runaway car with a feather!
2 people like this
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
18 Dec 06
I accept that it does say in the guidelines that we shouldn't just say "thank you" to all responses to our discussions, but I seldom do that. Often the person who has responded has said something that I want to comment on, and so I will do this and add my "thank you" then. I know that it doesn't earn me any extra money for doing this, but thank doesn't worry me at all actually. Yes, there are people who will respond to posts always in a positive manner, i.e. agreeing with whoever started the discussion and what they said. That is their choice, and I would suggest that those people are here for the money, and not the actual discussions. Also there are some people who will disagree on principle too and in that case they will hold fast to their views, irrespective of what anyone else says. LOL I accept that it does take time to make these comments but as I said earlier, that is my choice and it doesn't worry me to do it. It also allows me to rate responses as I read through each of them. Thanks for your views on the subject, as well as your response. :)
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Dec 06
I give 98 % people a positive rating. I respond back when they respond, or try to anyways. I give best responses to whoever I believe gave the best response. More that 70% it is someone who is articulate, concise, and does agree with some portion of what I stated in my original question or even perhaps a response. It just depends. and I try to keep up with my friends questions. I have less than 20 friends, but they are an inquisitive bunch!!
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
17 Dec 06
Yes, I give our ratings to those that merit it and it is based on their response, not whether or not they agree with me. Like you, to get a good rating from me, the response must be interesting, well written and relate to the topic of course, although I think we have all found that some responses have no bearing at all on the topic of the discussion. with regard to the friends situation, initially I accepted everyone who asked to be my friend, and I responded to their discussions only, but now I am being more discerning in who I accept and who I don't. If I believe that there is no consistency in their actions or if they start a discussion and then leave it hang there with no comment to anyone, I am starting to delete them from my list. Thanks very much for your contribution to the discussion, and it is appreciated mytwo_daughters. :)
1 person likes this
@reeseyj (906)
• United States
17 Dec 06
Yes I have noticed this and even told one person that he was wrong for doing it.I always give people a rating and choose best answer. On some of the questions it looks like they didnt even care about the answers because theres no responses at all.
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
17 Dec 06
As I said I think that these people are in the minority but they are judging the best response only on the basis that the respondents agree with them. I read through every response and give a rating and choose the best response based on what has been said, rather than whether or not I agree with what the person is saying. Thanks very much for responding to the discussion. :)
3 people like this
@caramello (4382)
• Australia
17 Dec 06
What I have noticed and not sure if it is right or wrong, but some people start up a discussion and that is it, they do not participate in any way, but start up another one!
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
17 Dec 06
I would hope that these people who start a discussion and then take no further action are in a minority caramello but reading through these, it appears that we all know some offenders. I will have to think seriously about this, because it seems to me to be a waste of time responding to someone who cannot take the trouble to read what I have to say because they are too busy starting another discussion. Ignoring my valuable words offends my sensibilities. **sob sob** Thanks for reading and contributing to the discussion caramello. :)
1 person likes this
@caramello (4382)
• Australia
17 Dec 06
A pleasure ossie.
• Australia
3 Jan 07
I personally love to read the responses I get to my discussion. I also comment on the replies that I get all the time even if I dont understand. I also love to read the comments left to my responses on others discussions and comment on those as well. This is why I keep coming back to mylot. It's very interesting to hear what people have to say about things and we get paid for it too. I've only just started here not too long ago but I'm havin a great time here. I've also just started to upload photos of my interests and my best friend Mo, who is my cat. This site is great. I've also found many people on here generally do comment on your responses, there are a few who do nothing but cut and paste but you get that.
3 people like this
• Ireland
17 Dec 06
I think it is just a matter of common courtesy to repond to people who take the trouble to respond to discussions. I haven't started many discussions, but I have responded to every single person who replied even if there reply was just a three letter word. I also rate eevry response whether or not they agree with me. After all, if I ask for an opionion, then I must accept their answer, and if their answer is a good one I will rate it as the best even if I do not agree with them.
@estherlou (5026)
• United States
17 Dec 06
Most of the time I'm so engrossed in reading I forget about the ratings, but I have rated a few. When I think about it, I go back to my old discussions and start rating all of those who answered. Now, if they said something like you bet, or I agree or something like that, than I don't bother to rate it.
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
18 Dec 06
Alexandria, you are right in that if we ask someone for an opinion, then we should accept their response. Why bother to ask if you don't want to hear anything that the echo of your own words. LOL Thanks very much for responding. :)
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
18 Dec 06
Estherlou, if someone makes a response like you mentioned, then I will make a comment to the effect that it is an inappropriate response, and would they try to do better by responding to the discussion. I will go back to that response a few days later and if the person has been online to myLot and not responded appropriately, I will give thm a negative. Also going back over old discussions and rating them is a good idea, because for a while there we couldn't rate the responses, due to problems with the system. Thanks for sharing your opinion and responding. :)
@claudia413 (4284)
• United States
17 Dec 06
Another good topic, Ossie. My hat's off to you. I also wish some people would realize that not everyone is going to agree with them. I've given a best response to several people who didn't agree with my opinion, but they presented such a clear and concise argument that I felt it was warranted. I do comment on most responses (not the ones that make no sense or that I can't understand, or a blatant cut and paste from someone else's response). I like to read through a discussion first to see if the person who posted it responds or not. If not, I usually don't respond at all. If they can't take the time to comment on good responses, I don't take the time to respond at all any more. I've learned a lot in here since I joined in mid-October, have made friends (you included), and I enjoy getting involved in a good discussion.
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
18 Dec 06
Thanks very much Claudia and I agree that we should give a best response to the one that is clear and concise whether or not they share our opinion. If someone doesn't make sense with their response, or if it is totally irrelevant, then I will comment saying just that. Also to those who do a "cut and paste" I will say that plus I am reporting them to myLot. I am now going to be like you in that if someone cannot acknowledge the good responses, then I will not be responding to any of their discussions. That is what we are here for, to discuss things and starting a discussion then making no further contribution is not a discussion at all. Thanks for sharing your views and contributing to this discussion Claudia. :)
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
20 Dec 06
This has been a hard choice in deciding who should get a best response, because there have been so many good ones. However, Claudia you have the best response, and that is not because you agree with me but simply due to the fact that your response is clear and concise. :)
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Mar 07
Ossie, I thank you for the best response. I try to make sense when I respond, and I guess I do at times. LOL.
• Australia
11 Mar 07
Yes, I've noticed it. I've seen good comments on those who agree and nothing on anyone who disagrees. What really gets to me though, is people who post a really good, meaty discussion, and then never return to comment at all. I doubt they even return to read and rate the responses, for if they did, surely they would reply to at least one of them? I have started keeping a record of those who don't comment on ANY of their responses and will not respond to their discussions. Thanks for bringing it up. It might help a lot of members.
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
11 Mar 07
You are right cloudwatcher that it sometimes appear some members never check the responses or if they do, they don't make a comment. I do know some members who do not make comments but will instead give out a best response, so I expect that they are reading the responses. Like you, I do make a note of those who never seem to make any comment or mark a best response to their discussions and just don't respond to them anymore.
• Australia
11 Mar 07
Ossie I have just experienced exactly what you said in your discussion. I have just checked my "discussions I've responded to" One discussion made a very definite statement. I gave proof that his statement was entirely wrong. He commented on all the other responses but totally ignored mine. Evidently he has no answer.
@oldboy46 (2133)
• Australia
20 Feb 07
Still new here .... but been checking discussions out ... some people never seem to say anything .... or even give out anything to anyone who responds ..... so we don't bother with them at all .... why waste time on someone who doesn't care what a person says.
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
11 Mar 07
You are right but the way to handle such a thing, or at least for me, is to note who these people are and simply do not respond to their discussions. :)
• United States
18 Dec 06
I do notice that in many discussions. In my discussions, I respond to everyone whether I agree or disagree. That is what it is all about to have an open forum to express one's viewpoint. I try to comment as much as possible on each person that responds to me, unless I get just a yes or no answer. In that case I will simply thank them for replying. I know what you mean though, I check back on discussions I have replied to and a lot of the topic starters aren't commenting back, or picking only a few to comment back to. It is annoying. I will play it by ear though as to whether to stop responding to their discussions, maybe they are just learning the myLot ropes. I hope so.
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
18 Dec 06
It certainly sounds like you are doing like a lot of us are, i.e. we respond to everyone who responds to our discussions whether or not they agree with us. I am not giving the responses of a 1-3 words a negative rating, because it is against the rules. Initially I was thinking that I should not respond at all to discussions started by those who do not interact with the respondents to their discussions. However after reading some of the comments here, I think that perhaps I will give them a little time and see what happens. My final decision will of course be based on how experienced they are and more leeway should possibly be given to the new members. Thanks for contributing to this discussion. :)
@canadabis1 (1955)
• Canada
18 Dec 06
not me...good or bad...I respond to a convo or argument....the ones i dont respond to are 1 or 2 word answers...and they also get a minus also.
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
18 Dec 06
You are right that this forum is about giving our opinions on the topic of discussion, whether or not we agree with others. I too give a negative rating to those who make an inappropriate response, and that includes those of only a couple of words. Thanks for sharing your views with us. :)
@kawillow74 (1417)
• United States
18 Dec 06
I have responsed to ones I have not agreed with or I thought they where not telling the truth and the one went though and gave me all - I do reponsed and they say why do you bother I think we are here to give our opinions I guessI am wrong.If people don't like what I say that is there promblem. I am here to ay what I think and feel.Not for the pennys.
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
18 Dec 06
You are right, we are hear to discuss topics and if we don't agree with what is being said in the discussion, we are still entitled to our opinion. Sometimes our opinions are not appreciated by others, but we should persevere as gradually myLot will weed out the ones who are not doing the right thing. Thanks for sharing your views on this topic. :)
@sunrisekn (1468)
• United States
18 Dec 06
I read every response in my thread and I thank them. If the person has said something I can pick up on, I try to continue the conversation that way, whether they agree with me or not. This is site of opinions and they are vast. I thank them because I want them to know I appreciate them reading and posting. Most people give worthwhile responses and I just want them to know that they are appreciated. Common courtesy, ya know? I do see alot of best responses as ones that agree with them.
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
18 Dec 06
It sounds like you are doing what a lot of members are, i.e. reading the responses and making a comment which will keep the discussion going as well. Also acknowledging those who take the time to make a quality response to your discussions. Keep it up. Thanks very much for contributing to this discussion. :)
@shoelover (1573)
• Australia
18 Dec 06
I'm only a newbie but I like to think my opinion counted for something. When I leave an opinion I love looking to see what response I get to it. It makes me sad when I don't get a response. It just makes me feel the person just wanted the money from the post and were not interested in the responses. When I have made a post I try to respond to every person as I would never want anybody to feel the same way I have felt. Even if somebody does not agree to my discussion it gives me a chance to explain why I feel that way.
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
18 Dec 06
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and it should be listened to and respected, and this is regardless of how long they have been a member of myLot. I understand what you are saying, and I think that many others do too, when you say it is disappointing that there has been no comment on your response. Thanks very much for sharing your views on this topic with us. :)
@baysmummy (1639)
• Australia
17 Dec 06
I might be wrong but isnt it against the mylot rules and regulations to thank people for replying to your duscissions, But yes i have noticed that some people reply to some responses and dont reply to the others i dont know there reasons for it but i have noticed it, I try to reply to all the responses i get but sometimes i do run out of time!
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
18 Dec 06
Yes it is against the rules to say a thank you to people who respond to discussions, but once I have read the response there is often something that I want to add or ask and so I do. I know that sometimes we all can run out of time and so cannot get everything done, but my comment is about the way some people will reply to those who agree with them and ignore the ones who disagree. Thanks for sharing your views on this subject. :)
@shooie (4989)
• United States
17 Dec 06
I have noticed it and look at it this way...ohhhh I must of hit a nerve or oh someone made them think. We are not all going to agree with what a person says and well even if I don't I'll put a thanks for your response. Or at least try to get back to them. Why limit yourself...One of these people may start an awesome discussion and maybe something you write may inspire or help someone else that is reading it.
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
18 Dec 06
You have a valid point there that one day some of these offenders might start an awesome discussion, but there are no signs of it yet. LOL I will however take into consideration what you are saying and keep my eyes open to see what happens but I will only respond if I see that they are being fair in their comments etc. Thanks for contributing to the discussion. :)
@remaster74 (4067)
• Greece
17 Dec 06
I don't really care about that kind of people. I do get involved to all my discussions, and I have given best response to people that disagree. But they have to justify the reasons they are opposite.
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
18 Dec 06
Yes some people will not agree with what we say, and that is their right, and if they can explain the reasons for their opinion, then they should be considered for a best response. We cannot all agree on everything, but now I have decided that people who do not play by the rules will not earn anything from a response from me. Thanks for sharing your opinion with us. :)
@trish32 (1471)
• United States
17 Dec 06
I, too, have noticed that. I think it's rude. If you only want people who agree with you then you should post that in your discussion topic. I love a good, honest, thought-provoking debate and it really annoys me when I post something in a discussion and get ignored because the original poster doesn't agree with it.
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
18 Dec 06
Yes, if people only want those who agree to respond then they should say so clearly or else start discussions that people can only agree with. LOL Sometimes it is hard to respond to a discussion when you realise that for the last dozen times your reponse has been ignored simply because the people who started the discussions had a different opinion to yours. Thankfully these people are in the minority though. Thanks for your input into this discussion. :)