Engaged after Dating for 2 Months

United States
January 15, 2007 10:01pm CST
I have a friend who has been dating a guy for two months. Then at Christmas he proposed to her. This took everyone by shock. Even more shocking is that she said yes. Do you think two months is enough time to get to know each other?
1 person likes this
16 responses
@pinkeagle (202)
• United States
16 Jan 07
Two months is not long enough to know someone before proposing marriage. In my over 1/2 century on this earth I have discovered something I am pretty darn certain about. This something very much applies in this case. I'll pass it on to you. Are you ready? Listen up! It takes a good 2 full years to get to know someone. Because so many people try so hard to make a good first impression, it is difficult to get to know the real person. Experience shows me that it takes about 2 years. Very few people can put up an act for over 2 years. Therefore, after 2 years, if you still think highly of the person, perhaps you have evaluated them correctly. Do not be fooled by the fact that you can honestly evaluate correctly a decent honest person in 1 year or even less. The problem is that you do not know that he/she is not a deceitful person putting on a good act until the full 2 years has passed. A proposal after only 2 months is too too risky. Good Luck to your friend.
• Philippines
16 Jan 07
i would have to agree about pinkeagle when she said that many try so hard to make a good first impression.it's like a guy courting a girl. at the start of the courtship, the guy would do everything and be totally sweet to the girl but once the girl answers him yes, he slowly changes and everything he used to do will become history!
1 person likes this
• Italy
16 Jan 07
I have to agree as well. It just makes me think of those Oprah episodes where one spouse finds out the person they thought they knew is a completely different person in reality. It's almost impossible to truly know someone, because if they are holding back then you can never know their true self. And it can take years for people to become comfortable enough to show their real selves.
• United States
16 Jan 07
I honestly do not think you can put a time frame on love. I knew the second my eyes met my husbands that I was finally home, and that I would marry him. It may seem odd to others, but if they feel this is right, then who is to say it isn't. You have all the time in the world to get to know eachother. That is what life is all about, growing and getting to know one another. I say, if it feels like the right thing for you to do, do it, who are we to judge??
@shywolf (4523)
• United States
17 Jan 07
No, I really do not feel that two months is anywhere near long enough to know someone to consider getting married ot them. I also think that such quick judgements and quick marriages are a lot of the reason why we have so much divorce nowadays. Of course, you hear of people getting engaged even sooner than two months! I've heard of people knowing each other a couple of weeks and wanting to get married. It just seems insane to me. Ideally, I even think that it's not a bad idea to live together for a year or so before you consider marriage. Otherwiwe, how are you really going to know if you can co-habitate peacefully? LOL *laugh*
• United States
16 Jan 07
If she knew the guy a while before they started dating then no I don't think it's too soon. But if she just met him and then he proposed 2 months later then yes I think that is too soon. I think it takes longer than 2 months to really get to know someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with.
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
16 Jan 07
I do not think that it is enough time to get to know a person. I spent almost 24/7 with my bf in the beginning and now after a year I feel like I know him, but i still learn new things about him every day. I would never say yes after just 2 months dating
@Ravenladyj (22940)
• United States
16 Jan 07
I'm sorry but i think that is absolutely ridiculous. I know that sounds harsh but IMO 2 months is NOT nearly long enough to really get to know someone in a general sense but even more so in an intimate sense because you are blinded by the newness of the relationship ya know...and if your friend is young she is really blinded IMO...
@sherinek (3323)
• United States
16 Jan 07
Is a life time enough to get to know another? Dearest, you just cant understand another completely. It may be for good, it may be for bad, but now that she has accepted it, give her all your blessings and secretly keep your fingers crossed!
• India
16 Jan 07
yea thats more dan enough...ur friend can knw her bf more once they into relationship...
• Canada
16 Jan 07
Love can be amazing. It depends entirely on the couple, and how they have spent their time together. Some people can be together for 22 years and not know eachother, but others will fall in love at first sight.
@hcromer (2712)
• United States
16 Jan 07
I do not think that two months is long enough to be together before getting engaged. It might work out for them though. My mother and my step-father had been dating for only one month before they got engaged. They have been married for about 11 years now. I guess that when you know the time is right, then you know the time is right.
• United States
16 Jan 07
I think the proposal can be a bit early..but it just shows how committed the two WANT to be to eachother. However, them getting married too early can be a bad thing because the two can be getting into something they're not yet prepared for. They should take a lot of time to get to know eachother before they decide to actually tie the knot.
• Singapore
16 Jan 07
Let the couple decide. I'am sure they both know what there are doing thus you shouldn't be overly concerned.
@deedles88 (297)
• Australia
16 Jan 07
Some people have the instant connection that leads to marriage and sometimes, they do live happily ever after.. Others, they think they have the connection, but its more lust then anything.. My fiance and I had a friend who was in the exact same situation, they ended up being engaged for 5 years!! So by the time of the wedding, they knew each other very well!!
@lauriefnp (5112)
• United States
16 Jan 07
I wish your friend the best of luck, because I think that she will need it. I know that nothing anyone can say will change her mind, but I just don't think that you can possibly know someone well enough to marry them after dating for only 2 months. They are probably caught up in lust and the excitement of the new relationship. Once that wears off, they will hopefully be happy with what is left. People tend to present themselves in the best light in the early stages of a relationship, and you know that as they get to know each other there is a good chance that they won't be compatible. Either way, though, you have to allow her to live with her own decision; you don't want to lose a friend over this, and she probably doesn't, either. She may very well be needing your support in the future. Tell her how you feel and why, then leave it alone for now. It will all play out with or without your influence.
• United States
16 Jan 07
How long have they known each other before they started dating? My husband of 8 1/2 years and I were friends for a year before we started dating, and 3 months later we were engaged. One month after that we got married. We have been together every since. I think it just depends on the people, and if they are really ready for a marriage commentment. Some are and some arent.
@ralevi (1887)
• United States
16 Jan 07
yes, I think that two months is enough time to know each other.