Why are the people in the BIG city so cold/mean?

The bigger the city, the more people to be suspicious of. I was raised in a small town, population under 4000. When I moved out, I moved to a bigger city (about 500,000). People are less friendly, and are generally more rushed and harsh, but the reasons are fairly self evident to me. In my hometown, everyone knew everyone. We were friendly because we knew who to be friendly to, who to avoid. When you're in a bigger city, you don't know half the people .. or even a tenth of the people. You don't know if the person you say hi to on the street is going to turn around and follow you, bum cash off you, follow you to your home, accost you on the street. Better to be safe than sorry and avoid it altogether. However, don't mistake rude behavior with big city life. While most will simply avoid others, there is no excuse for rudeness like you described, not being given a seat. That's not a symbol of big city life, that's on the people themselves. There are rude people everyewhere, big cities and small towns alike.

Big cities tend to have a lot more crime. Being nice makes you vulnerable. In a smaller town, more people know eachother, they feel safer. My husband has taken such a long time to adjust to asking people for help or having others help us because where he grew up, that kind of stuff got you hurt. It's sad, but true.

You are right. People in bigger cities do get desensitized from there being such a huge amount of people. But do not loose hope, I am from a larger city and I was the person in (Orlando, FL) that would wave back and smile. I would be the person that would sit on the floor to give you my seat. Not everyone in a big city is like that. But, is it more common to be true because there are more people, personalities, and those that feel they have to be harsh to survive. Or maybe it is their own stress coming out because they are having a hard time like you. And maybe the men did not give you a seat because they are used to having to tone out personal thoughts and feelings of others because if they didn't, they would be assaulted with too much stimuli. Either way, I have also moved to a small town. And I can say, there are still very rude and arrogant people here too. I have received the same attitude that you are speaking of. But hold hope...not all us big city people are like that.

I know its just a different world in the big city. I dont know why people are like that but they are. I feel sorry for them in a way. That was just rude that no one would give you a seat especially the men.

60,000 people in a city is not a large city by my standard. According to census that's considered a mid-sized city. You probably meant larger cities. I grew up in NYC and we're generally more individualized because of the fast pace environment. We're not socially conditioned to be friendly all the time. It's hard to be all frolicky when a lot of us are trying to beat traffic on the commute with all that horn noise going on downtown and midtown daily. That doesn't mean that we're not friendly at all. In fact, us city people can be more outgoing than a lot of southernors and midwesterners. We also like to boast our confidence by acting up a bit: we like to think we're better than we really are, exuding an elitist mentality and engaging in competition. The city draws in a lot of egoists and egotists because of the competitiveness and social hierarchy: more high paying jobs and backstabbing. Of course those characteristics are just generalizations and there are exceptions all the time. We're not used to having strangers come out of nowhere and say "hi how's your day" for no apparent reason because we weren't raised that way. Now as a kid strangers obviously greeted you all the time as a tradition so you're used to it. I'm definitely not used to it. It's simply the way we were raised. Most of us urban people have a different culture, but though we're all human. Here are some differences: We don't drive at 16. Our schools don't have drivers ed. Our high schools don't have parking lots. A lot of us take the subway/metro/mass transit/public transportation downtown or midtown for work or school. Cars are only used on the weekends and that's for those who own houses in the other boroughs. Most single and under 30 share apartments with roommates. Our city colleges don't have dorms. Everyone commutes. The grocery store, supermarket, or restaurant is just down the block, no need to walk or drive miles just to get to one, and they're everywhere. We're more diverse in ethnicity. It is common to find a guy or girl with a caucasian father and asian mother. Traffic sucks As you see we have a totally different culture.

I think its because of the pressure and stress that is always present in the city. In small places where its not so busy, you can take it easy coz life isnt too stressful. That is my opinion.

You are quite correct in your assessment for people of the big city. They are really in a hurry and also somehow tensed. They do not have the time to care or bother for fellow persons. But I feel proud to say that kolkata, being a metropolitan city has not really adopted to that Metropolitan Beheaviour. You can get here a very cordial reception from all corner with lots of people extending their support to help you. You are most welcome to Kolkata.

so many people so many things to do so many distances to cover so many things to be done before you go to bed to be awake in few hours. Probably the stress like of living the city dweller lilttle time and patience and energy to think about other around them

I think it is because there are so many more people that it is easier to find the rude ones. I live in a small town and there are still plenty of rude people. It is sad that people have turned so mean.

well maybe those guys have an attitude of "who cares"..not all people living in the cities are like that...it happen that you are unlucky to experienced those kind of behavior...usually in general people living in the city doesnt know each other ,,so busy to make a living...they just greet whom they know for sure...you really cant trust anyone in the city especially you dont know them ...not like in the province...much more courteous and polite..

the thing that you have to realize about big cities is that everyone is always in a hurry from some reason. i live in new york and i see it everyday in the subway. people pushing even though there is no more room to get on the subway. its like everyone decides to get up an hour late because they like to rush. also in new york strangers never really talk to each other and im sure in your big city it was the same way and that is why they thought you were crazy. you can almost expect that kind of big city behavior. but i really dont understand why those two guys didnt offer you a seat, i know that i would have because anythime i see an older person or a person with kids i always give up my seat.

I think that's a generalisation. I was really surprised when I visited New York to find people on the street so willing to talk and help you - which is so welcome considering NY is soooo big. I was expecting allot of lip service and rudeness. I've lived in both country and City and there is a huge difference in social interaction. Cities are so fast and busy and the interaction of people is so different because of this. Fast moving, so much to do, so little time. It's normal for city people. And you get caught in it. When I first moved to the city I was walking slower, like I used to. Then in only a few days I was walking with the crowd, fast. People in the country have different values, doesn't make people in the city lesser than. And by the way people in the country can be just as rude, in regard to manners for women with children!

I dont know if its because of the crime or the fast paced life, but I dread going to atlanta, no one is friendly downtown,and no one smiles, but the farther into the country I get, the nicer they are, they wave, even if they dont know you. If more people would smile,it might change their day and help them decompress from stress.I try to smile at everyone, as you might be smiling at someone who could sure use one!

That is awful, I too am from a small town of 11000 people, and I cannot stand going to a big city. Everyone is so cold and they don't even really care as too what is going on around them. In a small town everyone smiles and waves, sure they might know your life story but i would rather that than be glared upon like in the big city's. I guess people in the big city are used to fighting for the last spot, the last everything, because in a bigger city they have to share more and they have no time for anyone! But in a small town, its more relaxed, everyone is more happier just to be alive. I guess it's something that we have to get used to, i can't see people in big city's changing anytime soon.

The people in the big city are cold and mean because normal the life in to the big city is more faster so they don't have time to talk with other people because they know that the time is money.

This may be an isolated experience leading you to think that all the people are mean in big cities.there are good and bad people everywhere in city as well as villages.It is whom we are facing in our life.

Once I had gone on a tour to Shimultala, a very small nice village in Jharkhand to visit. There I met a most ordinary people who lives from hand to mouth. I was going to see a hilly fountain. A couple of friends were with me. We were walikng almost 5-6 kms. at a stretch. The sun was hard. That gentle man stopped us and offered us cold water. He asked us where we were going without a umbrella. We told him that we had brought any umbrella with us. He immediately brought out an old umbrella from his hut. We asked him how to return it to him had we lost our way. He did not care for this. No doubt, it was gesture. Now we could think that had we been to a town or city, could anybody show this kind of gestureo or compunction? I am of the firm conviction that urban people are simply apathetic, they do not have any soft corner for other people. The illeterate, living-from-hand-to-mouth village people are more sympathetic and generous. Actually those who live plain and simple do possess much more human sense than the others. They never turn to stone.

I think people in the city are more busy and have a hectic lives that's why they tend to ignore some people. Most of the time the just mind their own business unlike in a small town where everybody knows each other. Big city people are more careful when trusting people.

I think it's because people from big cities have a tendency to be rushed and impaitent about things. I used to live in NYC, and daily life was like that. It was just a constant whirlwind, and everyone was very rushed and very cranky on a daily basis. I think in smaller towns, people don't have that kind of pressure. I live in a small town now, and every one so so much more laid back and so much nicer. I think it's because people from small towns learn to slow down and enjoy life a little more.

well in the big city there's always people around and people always mind their own business... Usually people in the city all work in the city and they walk to their work and they dont care about anything else except for themselves. The city is like that, people are not interested in other people.. they just like to go own their marry way.