The Cat is out of the Bag!

You know what, I think your hubby loves you soooo much. Maybe it's not just the gas issue... it's the fact that you're doing a lot for others. Pretty much like me, I guess. Being able to do some favors for others makes me feel good. But my fiance always nags me about getting walked all over by my family a lot of times because I do them a lot of favors. It does get me upset when we argue about it, but the truth is he just cares for me a lot..

You go girl. Am so glad that you weathered this and maybe, just maybe, your hubby will like the new assertive lady he is married to. Reward him!! ^)^ Gas money is indeed the minimum and hopefully the kids will learn to drive and get their own vehicles. I hope you find the fun within all this and can make even more strides in the future!

I feel your right to do these things for your family and your husband is also right. If you dont the money for gas then sure they should pay for the gas. Just as long as everyone is happy.

You are so nice to help your family out the way you do. I think if you choose to take them places then they should pay you gas money. And if you are taking your DIL somewhere and helping her clean her house then she should give you some money too. I paid my aunt when she cleaned my house for me. I don't expect people to do it for free. Even if someone in my family offers to do something for me then I'm always saying please let me pay you for that. I guess your hubby would be a little upset if he knows that your afternoon was spent taking everybody places that they have to go especially if you don't have extra money to spend for gas and such. Gas is so high anyway.

I have always believed Family and friends are like a network and you help out each other when you can if you can. For example, my stepfather takes me to one of the hospitals I have to go to, but I pay for gas and parking....and next week I'll be helping him with his PC. It's all swings and roundabouts really...and if I have the time I'm glad to be of some service.

Not to sound rude, but your husband sounds a little rude and selfish. He doesn't want you spending time with family? What does he want you to do? Wait on him hand and foot every minute of the day? You have to justify your time to him? Ridiculous. IF money is an issue, why don't you get a part time job to pay for gas and then do what you want in your spare time without him hassling you?

I think husbands just get jealous of time spent with the kids. My husband would sometimes get upset about stuff I did for my son, but that was mosly because he wanted him to grow up and quit depending on mamma for everything. Good luck, you kids are your kids, no mater how old they get.

It is good to hear the two of you are still communicating.Whether he agrees or not may be a different story.But at least the communication is still there.Very nice of you to offer your time to help your family members.

i do not understand why he would get upset about you helping out your children. I mean I know when my son gets older and moves out I will not stop helping him. I mean they are not taking advantage of you, they are at least giving you gas money.

I'm glad to see he has eased off on this issue. I have a son that asks for a ride a lot. Anyhow after the first 3 times giving him a ride to work at 7 a.m. he never once offered gas money. If he had I would have said no. As it's only a 20 mile round trip for me it isn't that big of a deal. Well anyhow he called again another day asking for a ride. I refused saying I just didn't feel like it. Then and only then did he offer me gas money. I still refused even after he stated he'd lose his job. I said, that's not my fault if you do. It's your responsibility to find a way to work. he begged and pleaded and I refused. Well he made iot to work without dads help. He hasn't called since. he knows I went through the same type of thing with a couple freiends so he knows I'm serious when I say no. Thanks and have a great day. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~

Yes, well.... I have heard all this sort of thing before from my husband regarding my (our) 14 year old daughter. He thinks I spoil her. He calls her the "Little Princess". I do so much for her, with the running around for swimming training & going to school, horse riding lessons, etc. He says I am going to ruin her life, by doing things for her. Am I? Her teachers say she is a lovely girl, her swimming coach says the same, her horse riding instructor says the same. She trains 9 hours per week for swimming. She gets straight A's at school, and she is in the SHIP class. There is no evidence that I am ruining her. Quite the opposite. Do whatever running around you like for your daughter & DIL. I suspect that you are not the kind of person who will be used anyway, & your kindness to your daughter will be repaid eventually.

Yeap you caqn never stop being a mum..but men are like big kids themselves I guess..they get a bit possessive with our time and devotion..yet when we want some emotional support or their time when WE NEED IT..they complain that we are obsessive or clingy!1 We can't win either way lol..so let's just be what we want to be lol.We can never please them all the time..our grumpy old gits lol..We love them really don't wehahahahaa. You are being very kind, fair and reasonsble and should beloved for these qualities..remember that lol.

I totally understand the cost of gas thing. My DH gives me problems sometimes when I run around doing all the errands, but he doesn't stop to think that I'm doing them while I'm in the area already so I don't have to drive back and forth from home even more. Driving 5 miles for 1 thing is bad, but when I can go 10 miles total and get everything we need for the week, it's all done! I'd just love it if someone would give me gas money for my errands! :)

discussions like this are very interesting and can teach me a lot...they show me how different we can be...I mean cultural difference and personal differences...in my family it is normal that we spend time together if possible..it is normal that my parents drive me to a places if I need and I do the same with my brothers or parents...it depends only on how much work we have...I mean ...my father would never complain about my mother spending too much time with me or one of my brothers..it is normal for us...I don't know if I am clear enough...this is not meant to judge you or your husband.it is only to say that we can be very different..and that a thing that it is normal for me it is not normal for you or another person...wonderful learning!!!

Keeping busy this way is a good way to keep your mind off of the things that can wear you down. If you have something to give, be it tangible or intangible, it benefits you as well as the receiver. I hope hubby understands that. It is good that they help with this rotten gas cost.

I don't understand why he would get mad at you for spending time with YOUR DAUGHTER? He sounds like an as(

You are so right . It is nice to be able to help out but with the price of gas now it is a wonder we all still have vechiles . And your time is your time to decide how you want to spend it and if this makes you happy then you should do it . You don't tell him how to live his life so he shouldn't tell you how to live yours , or that is what I always point out to my husband :)

You're a good person, Elusive. And I'm sure hubby is too-- it sounds like he thinks the kids take advantage of you? Giving to your family is the most imporatnt thing.

no, YOU should buy the gas how could you expect kids to pay for the gas or anyhing else, just let em be kids or your Karma will get you

You have a practical outlook to issues in life and common sense seem to be another virtu you are blessed with. And since your hubby also seems to be open to the idea of accepting divergent ideas,so long as they are backed with logic, what more can you ask for? it is a win -win situation for the both of you. Good Luck.