People that look scary... but aren't!

I'm one of those scary people according to my wife and friends, the few I have that I didn't scare away at first. I get an intense look on my face when I am focusing on something, and I guess it appears that i am on the verge of a rage to others. It really has been an obstacle for people to fight through apparently to get to know me as the lovable teddy bear I am :-) Notice how many crime dramas on TV portray older, larger people as psychopaths or deviants, while the young gorgeous ones are seen as the heroes? How about Ted Bundy or Richard Ramirez then, both handsome and both deranged serial killers! It's another example of "beautyism" which I have contended forever is the most subtle and therefore the most vicious "ism" that exists!

Well, this story is something I know very well. A man walks into a grocery store wearing a long black trench coat and three old woman scream "Lord help us!" This type of thing happens often for the man is very scary. The man is my father, and he is the sweetest person alive. I find the sterotype people have insulting.

Now im actually a nice person but in school, After i got to know people better i found out that people were kind of scared of me, Becauase i was quiet they thought i was one of those 'serial killer' types, as they so subtely put it, that could snap at any moment and go on a killing spree or something. luckily it hasn't happend.........yet ;)

My dad. Some people call him sasquatch. All you can see is his nose and glasses. People are scared to talk to him. I use to work with him it was funny to watch all the guys who were afraid to talk to him.

our characterization of somebody is usually subjective and depends on our own definition of standard behaviour/conduct and our own understanding of outer world. by looks one can never judge the personality for my experience has revealed some bad looking people to be the most humane and some nice looking people to be one of the meanest. generally speaking professional, personal and social parts of life have their own proper decorums and if we havn't seen a person in all these spheres, we can't have a true picture of his personality. so our view of someone is dependant on, in which sphere of life and condition we interacted with a specific person. I think that criteria of judgement should be how well a person does objectively, in his capacity, when faced with certain issue wether it's personal, professional or social sphere of life. I had a professor in my university teaching production engineering. more than 95% of students feared him and thought of him a sort of scary personality. They thought that he will damage their grades as told by senior students. he was a very silent and serious type of personality, using very few words even in the lecture. he would put a question before class and won't accept, just nodding his head in negative, untill a perfect answer is given. i figured out that he won't ask for the data, known materials or the lay out or details of a process, shortly he won't ask for "what" but "why". he gave me maximum note in viva though i could only manage to answer 4 out of 5 questions. when i asked him, he told me that i only see who is able to be an engineer, by replying to "why" part of question and i don't see how well a student has memorized the usually known details. i also saw him fighting and struggling for a student in the detention case when the case was not justified. so i see him as one of the best professors as well as nice ones among his fellows for the values he cared for. in my Job too, my boss was widely feared for his temper even though many sub ordinates were sort of "yes boss" types. I, however, was one of his key vocal critics, when it was about work approach, productivity and projects and many ccolleagues advised me to change my attitude but still he always placed me among top three. though i disagreed with him frequently yet he never had temper problem with me as such. i figured out that he wanted "work" and not "yes boss" attitude which was main cause of his temper. so professionally i appreciate his honesty about the work. There is another example about a person who looked really nice and handsom but came out to be one of worst form of criminals. My Conclusion is that unless you have a personal experience with somebody in all three spheres of life or atleast in one or two, you can't actually judge that person by looks. ah a famous quote, "looks are often deceptive" :-). my response is long, don't know anyone will read, but i myself enjoyed writing. thanks

I have quite a few friends who people tend to think look like they would rip you in half without a second thought. In reality though, they are very kind and gentle. Two I refer to as my gentle giants. The first is a friend that I've had since 8th grade. He's a very large man, standing at around 6 foot tall and 350 pounds. He's built large. He is currently trying to lose weight, but he will just always be BIG! lol. People have often been afraid of him, but he is such a sensitive and kind soul. The second is a friend of mine that I met in adulthood. He stands at around six foot five and weighs in at around 290 pounds. He has a motorcycle, and wears a leather jacket, jeans, and a bandanna just about every day (the shirt changes daily, but it almost always has something to do with harley). As an experiment one day, he decided to send a friend into a fast food joint before him. He told his friend to pay attention to the reactions of the people when he walked in. Sure enough, everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at him half-panicked. It was as though they thought he would surely rob them or something. People usually see him as a big, dumb, neanderthal bully. What they fail to realize is that if they would just get to know him, they would see that he is a highly intelligent, generally very peaceful, fun and funny guy! I'm glad that it never crossed my mind to be frightened of either of these big lugs when I first met them. If I'd been scared of them, the way most people are, I would never have discovered such beautiful, wonderful friends. It's true ~ you can't judge a book by it's cover.

It just goes to show you can't judge people by how they look. It's what they do that matters. Reading your post all I could think of was an interview I saw years ago with the actress from the tv show The A-Team. How during the first episodes Mr. T was sick and looked meaner then anything but she soon learned that he was one of the sweetest of men. You can't judge by how people look. After all Ted Bundy looked very clean cut and normal, personally I'd rather run into Mr. T then Bundy any day.

The son of a friend was born with a syndrome because of which he has no facial muscles. He has no creases around his eyes, just tight skin. Because he has no facial muscles his speech is unnatural and he could not eat in public. As a boy he had a very tough life. As a man he has grown a big crop of hair and a beard and moustache, which are all kept tidy. While this improves his looks and suits him, it does make him look rather wild. I don't know if people are afraid of him because of his looks or just feel embarrassed talking with him. When people get to know him they realise he is highly intelligent and a very caring person.

What an amazing story. Looks can be deceptive, can't they. I imagine when John the Baptist walked the earth, he was terrifying, surviving on locusts and with a wild look in his eye. Simply a person cannot be judged with any degree of precision by their clothes. Some of the kindest people I've ever encountered have been homeless, and probably scary to many; but they demonstrated amazing kindness to me, that has never left me.

Well,years ago I was working as a cashier in supermarket and this one guy would come in frequently. He was also very scraggly looking. Hair growing wild and one of his eyes looked like it was buldging out. The other cashiers would run for it when they see him and say, ewwww here comes that scary looking dude. I though it was appalling how they acted and always treated him like I would treat anybody else. One day I saw him holding some papers about mathematical formulas, and since I love math, decided to strike up a conversation with him. He seemed to be in his element, explaining about mathematical formulas that made my head spin, despite my love for math. I quickly realized how very intelligent this man was. He was very articulate and I felt like I was talking to a college professor. I was almost ashamed at being surprised. I find it horrible how some people get judged by their looks. Intelligence and character has nothing to do with looks and I think that in this day and age, we would have come far enough to realize this and toss that prejudice attitude out the window. Unfortunately it's not the case.

I have one teacher that really looked scary, I was afraid to enroll in one of his classes. Unfortunately, one semester I was late in enrolling so all the other professor's classes were closed and the only one left was his. I had no choice then but to enroll in his class, much to my dismay. I really dreaded going at the first day of school because I thought that teacher would really give me a hard time during the semester. Much to my surprise though, I found his class really interesting and fun. He was quite a good teacher and very approachable too. We can ask all our question (outside and inside the classrooms) and he was very willing to listen and even give advise. After my experience with this teacher I realized how true it is that you really can't judge a book by its cover. You really can't judge a person's personality based on how he/she looks.

Yup, I have come across some people like your friend too. They can look so awful on the outside, but are really a blazing kind soul inside. So the morale of the story is that we should never attempt to judge anyone by their appearances. :P

Some people say I look mean. When I was younger with hair down to my tail I have had women cross the street. It made me feel like telling them what I think of them. I also open the door for everyone and some looked at me like WOW my son doesn't even open the door for me and a long haired freak like you are more polite. Now I am bold. If I don't teach the ignorant people then they will always be ignorant. Yesterday, there was a family of 4 going into the book store. Their 2 kids were bigger than me so I had no problem telling them like it was. I open the door for them and they declined. I looked right at them and said "You are so Fing rude." I don't have to be nice. I can be equally as mean. I probably look scary to some but long hair and a mustache does not make someone mean nor does it imply ones intelligence. What it says is that I work inside my home for the winter and I don't shave until I have to associate with my clients. I know of a scientist with a mohawk and piercings who makes medicine that keep the people who fear him alive. I wish they could put his photo on the medicine bottle just to show the world who made it. Kind of like Orville Redenbocker popcorn. LOL. Anyway it IS RUDE to not enter a door that someone opens for your regardless if the guy is black, green, orange or they smell like they have never bathed. I have adopted this policy. I am polite until someone is rude. Then I become equally rude. I know their parents didn't teach them manners so I will tell them. I don't have to be rude to them. But hey... I didn't have to be nice. We can all be zombies an not care or notice that other people live on this planet. That is what it is going to be like if people judge people by appearance.

My ex-brother in law was the average guy and everyone thought he was a decent person the truth was after his wife passed away years later the truth would come out on just how horible he really was. Kind of a reverse on what you are asking I know but I am just pointing out you cant ever judge someone on looks there have been a few different serial killers were none of them looked like they were evil. In fact most of their victims were lulled into thinking they were just average guys by their looks. I am glad you found out this guy is a decent person and didnt close your mind to him before getting to know for yourself. But on the other hand just because someone comes to your door dressed in a suit means they have good intentions either.

Yeah back in college maybe it was my second year. The school year was just starting and we had a guy classmate who really looks like a goons and a little mature looking than us. At first I don't really like talking to him because I felt I'm going to be killed but then I realized I was being too judgemental so I gave it a try and it turns out he is really kind and easy to talk to.. lots of humor.

It's so easy to judge a book by it's cover isn't it? And to be honest sometimes it's not even done on purpose, it's some kind of defense instinct. We have a friend that some of my other friends find a bit scary. He has a rough look and doesn't smile much, it's true, but he is an incredible friend, an excellent father and the kindest person in the world. Specially nowadays, where there's so much going on out there, people tend to try to secure themselves by feeling defensive against others that might look a bit scary or just different. It is unfortunate thought, because that is not always the best defense, and this way they might miss knowing someone that is really worth.

i believe that is because we tend to be prejudice when we do not know the person, we think he is like this and that, all of these are actually just assumptions. i was thought to be "maldita" or strict looking by some of my friends. Thay told me that was their impression when they first saw me. Same reality is true with scary looking people. They look scary and we think they are scary because we do not now them. Becasue they are unknown to us and we feel vulnerable about that.

I'm one of them. Female, brunette, 5'11 and as my mouth turns down naturally at the corners I tend to look like I'm frowning all the time unless I work at it. I also have an oversized black sweatshirt that I love and wear a lot. Anyways, I've seen a lot of people ease away from me. I'll second the "my dad" comment, too. Dad's 6'2, quite heavy, and just looks scary. The fact that he wouldn't hurt a fly doesn't really stand out, even though it's there. He was always the one to take me trick or treating at Halloween. :)

Sorry to say I am one of those people that look scary, but arent't. I have several fcial piercings and tattoos, I just like body art. Plus I have a love for long black glothing and am very pale (sun allergy). A lot of people think I look scary. But when they actually take the time to talk to me, I am very bubbly and outgoing. Unfortunely, there are always people that don't bother to get to know me.