Are birthdays difficult for you?
By tinamwhite
@tinamwhite (3252)
United States
April 11, 2007 9:03pm CST
Saturday, I will turn 46 years old....I try to tell myself that it does not bother me but at times I do "feel older"....and it is not a feeling that I like very well. I realize that I still have many things to feel good about...I have good health, a good family, a home I love and great friends.
I wonder if it is a "vanity thing" or if I am just getting hung up on the numbers...Do you get depressed before your birthday? How do you get out of that mood? Are birthdays difficult for you to deal with?
What birthday was the hardest to deal with? For me, I guess it was 30, something about leaving the 20's meant that I had to be a "grown up" at least in my mind at that time.
I have lived a great life; survived some tough times;have been married to the man of my dreams for almost 20 years; have 4 wonderful children; 7 grandkids; both mof my parents are still around me; I am not really complaining about my birthday and I realize all of the blessings that my life contains...but birthdays always make me alittle sad...what about you?
11 people like this
28 responses
@66jerseygirl (3877)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Hi,Tina! First of all,Happy birthday.I know that may seem a silly thing to say with the way you are feeling but i just wanted to wish it anyway. I do get a little upset around my birthday. I think the worst was when I turned 40. I didn't even want to get out of bed.I was now middleaged! I just push it out of my mind now and go with the flow . What a coinkydink! My paternal grandmother 's birthday is April 14th too! Isn't that something? Mine is this Friday the 13th. I was so mad I couldn't wait til the 14th to be born so I could have the same birthday as my grandmother!
@66jerseygirl (3877)
• United States
22 Apr 07
thanks for the best response ,my friend.have a great day
2 people like this
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Jerseygirl--Thank you for the Happy Birthday!I really do appreciate it so much. I like it when I hear about other people who share my "special day". Friday the "13th" has always been my lucky day...it really is a small world. I look in the mirror and it is not the face of a 46 yr old staring out at me...but I do not see that young carefree girl that I used to see...LMAO Imagaine that!!!
2 people like this
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
12 Apr 07
My mom makes a huge deal about birthdays, I was born 4th of July and until I was about 10 I was convinced the fireworks were just for me! LOL When I turned 30 my parents rented a limo and took me out for a surprise night on the town. I'll be 33 this year and I'd rather just forget about it. My birthday is not ahuge deal anymore. Just a reminder that life insurance is getting more expensive and I can't go out an dparty like I'm 21 anymore. It's not a vanity thing, it's difficulty in facing our own mortality, not only are we getting older so is everyone we love.
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
12 Apr 07
I have always made a "bid deal" of my children's birthdays as well...I always cooked whatever they wanted or we would go out to eat wherever they wanted to go on their birthdays. I always said that your birthday is "your day" and they did pretty much (within reason) whatever they wanted to on that day...they always looked forward to it so much.
You are, of couse, right about the mortality thing..none of us want to face that we are getting older.
That is funny about fireworks being just for you...what an interesting birthday..trust me I have been told all my life that my birthday falls "the day before taxes are du"e...not a great thing to associate with your birthday..if you know what I mean? LOL
Thank you, my friend.
1 person likes this
@feralwoman (2199)
• Australia
3 May 07
Hi there Tina. I don't like birthdays, not for the reason that i'm getting older or anything like that, it's just that i'm a miserable so-and-so and I don't like celebrating anything! To me a birthday is just a number, especially the higher it gets!
I'm thankful that I am able to lead the life I lead, albeit a bit up and down at times - I celebrate the fact that i'm still alive every day - no need to have a birthday to do that! Great discussion my friend. lol
2 people like this
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
4 May 07
I have decided that birthdays are more a time of reflection for me...where I am in life....my birthday, I guess is just the most natural time for this as I think about what I have accomplished and what goals I still need to meet.
I do think that celebtrating the day, in some manner is good for us, though, it is our one special day just to celebrate the anniversary of our life.
Thanks for sharing with me, my friend.
1 person likes this
@MagdalenaM (681)
• United States
12 Apr 07
First of all Happy Birthday in advance!!!!
I like the way you described eveything and I have to agree with you on all accounts.
I am 36 and I was really down when I turned 30, just like you - however, I never feel I grew up...I still feel 18 at times and of course there are those times that I feel 120 lol ;)!!
I analyze my life arounbd my birthday, what I accomplished and where I am and that usually get's me even more depressed, as I feel I have not done so much...I have to say, I am far away from what you have accomplished.
How do I get over it; simple really, I think that in five years I will be 5 years older and wish to be the age I am today...like when you are 35 you would be very happy to be just 30, right??? That snaps me out of depression and back to party mode and enjoying my birthday to its fullest!!!
You, my dear have a great time...life is too short to worry about age beside, I firmly believe that you are ONLY as old as you feel - ;)
Happy Birthday!!!!
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
13 Apr 07
MagdalenaM......what a wonderful outlook on life you have. Thanks so much for the Happy Birthday. I agree with the "life reflection" that we tend to do around our birthdays...I like you only tend to actually get "depressed" for a minute or two then I snap back to reality and all of the things I have done and my kids, their kids and where we will be at this time next year. I enjoy the forward view that I always imagine too....when the next birthday comes...I can look back and see how close or far I was from the truth at that point. I appreciate your response so much, my friend.
1 person likes this
@Michele21 (3093)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Yes they are!! I turned 25 last year(I know not very old) but it was really hard for me. I didn't enjoy the day at all, I felt like I was getting so old and just becoming this boring old Mommy!! I know it shouldn't be that way and it isn't a big deal but they do =) I don't like telling anyone how old I am anymore.
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
12 Apr 07
I understand how you feel. It is not that I really hate my birthday...or even getting older; it is just that sometimes it does bother me...I have 3 children that are older than you but I am seeing them struggle with some of their years as well. That does not help me either...if you know what I mean? Thanks for your participation in this discussion.
1 person likes this
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@vPrathap (26)
• India
12 Apr 07
i enjoy my birthday every time & every year i will spend my day with my friends now if i have no money i friends will spend money on my birthday ,if iam not intrested to celebrate my birthday my friends& parents force to celebrate if father more bothers about me if i dont celebrate my birthday & he assumes that my son had a problem he always keep buzing me what is that problem , tell to me i will solve ur problem but idont want to see my father more bothered about me & i clelbrate my birthday happily
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
13 Apr 07
I am glad that you have family close to help you celebrate you birthday. I enjoy my birthday as well, any change that I have to have all of the kids at home is always a celebration for me....Thanks for responding to my discussion.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
30 Apr 07
I certainly don't get excited about birthdays anymore, I will be 36 next month and to me age is just a number, I am not going to scream or yell or jump up and down, even tho the big 4-0 is approaching, as for life starting at 40? Load of rubbish, life starts and ends whenever you want it to, it's an old wifes saying. 36 will be no different to 35 or 37. I will be the same old me whatever my age, just a few extra gray hairs LOL!
1 person likes this
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
30 Apr 07
Thanks so much for sharing me...I do appreciate it. I think you have a good outlook on it.
It is nice when your family and friends remember to at least tell you that they are aware that this is the anniversary of the day of your birth...
@marriedman111399 (1207)
• United States
12 Apr 07
I am going to be the big 40 this year and September and I really dont get depressed about getting older but I do think back about what I have done in my life and maybe what I could have done. I have lived a good life. I have a wonderful wife and 3 good kids. I have family around me and things are going ok for me. Maybe as I get older I might get a little more depressed but not right now.
2 people like this
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
13 Apr 07
I think that you actually hit on what I am feeling.....looking back and thinking about what I have done and what I could have/should have done. I don't really think I get depressed. Sounds like your life is similar to mine in that we both have a wonderful spouse and great children! I have 7 grandkids as well.....you have so much mmore to still enjoy in life. Best of luck to you and your family, Marriedman. Thanks for your response.
1 person likes this
@ItTakesAllSorts (4096)
•
12 Apr 07
I get sad on my birthday because they are not the same as when I was little. The excitement of what I would get as presents was always a big thing.
As I am approaching forty I have not in a while had that excited feeling and I am gobsmacked that nearly forty years of my life has gone so quickly as I still think i am in my 20's.
I do however feel lucky when I reach another year, as more and more I hear of people dying young, so I cherish each day. My mum was 66 the other week and she often reflects on what little time she may have left, even though she is as fit as a fiddle. But its like you have said, it is the quality of our lives, those around us and what we have battled over that makes us happy to celebrate another year, even if we do get vain and stare at all the wrinkles appearing!!LOL
Happy birthday for Saturday, by the sounds of it you will have many around you who will celebrate your life. Have fun!!
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Thanks for the "Happy Birthday". I do feel fortunate with my life. I also understand the lack of exitement and miss the anticipation of holidays that I see in my 4 yr. old's eyes. Quality of life is definantely the key!!! Thanks for your response and the smile it brought to my face,my friend.
1 person likes this
@natalie1981 (1995)
• Singapore
12 Apr 07
Oh, advance happy birthday! BTW, mine is on Monday and yeah, I think getting older is taking its toll on me. I used to love my birthdays but now, it's like time is ticking away. I'm only turning 26 and yet I'm feeling this way, what more if I turn 30 or 46. It's because I keep comparing myself with other persons my age. I see people my age already married and with kids, other are already millionaires, things like that and I don't think I've really achieved much in life. I used to be a simple person and just content with simple things but lately I've been thinking if I am heading for the right direction. Then again, it may be just the thought of getting older that's making me this way.
2 people like this
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Thanks Natalie, for the Happy Birthday. I think that birthdays do have a way of making us take a mental inventory as to where we are according to our "plan" for life. Hun, at 26 I already had 3 children to raise...it was difficult to say the least....sometimes I wish I had waited until I was closer to your age before I had children....but then I guess that was not the plan for my life...LOL Taking mental inventory is a good way to help us achieve the goals we want for our lives and is therefore a good thing...in my opinion. Thanks for your participation in my discussion.
1 person likes this
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
23 Apr 07
M_5ugar,
Thank you, my friend for sharing your thoughts on this with me...I agree that there are advantages that come with getting older and more mature....you are able to "find" yourself and reach the goals that we have set for ourselves.....I guess that my birthday, each year, seems to be when I reflect back over the past year and see where I am as far as the things I have completed and the things that I am still working towards....a time of reflection not really saddness.
Blessed be!
@tonit22 (18)
• United States
12 Apr 07
yes every birthday bothers me at this point i never tell my age and when i am asked i have to think about it, i am so close to 30 but i dont feel it i feel like i am still in my teens i cant believe that we have to keep having birthdays why cant we just pick an age and just stop there.
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
13 Apr 07
I had to laugh when I read your response, Tonit22. The thought of being able to pick an age and stay there is a pretty good one......but how would we truly know what age to pick...if like at your age...you picked aready without ever knowing what it felt like to be like my age...which really is a good age.....Thanks so much for your response, I appreciate it.
1 person likes this
@Suzika101 (69)
• United States
22 Apr 07
Not anymore. I feel quite accomplished actually. I have raised three fine young men and am the proud grandmother of a wonderful little red-haired girl. I have a rewarding career teaching Biology and Chemistry in a great school. I am 49 this month and I am starting to realize that with age does come knowledge and confidence in oneself. My twenties were great, when my boys were young I loved being a mom. But, now I have time for myself and my hobbies. I think I am the perfect age for me!!! I wouldn't want to go back.
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
23 Apr 07
Suzika,
What a wonderful way to look at life! I agree that my twenties were especially hectic with three young children and the stress of surviving---I would not go back and completely agree that age and life's experiences do increase our knowledge and confidence. It also improves the quality of our lives.....however, in my mid-forties---I ams still the mother of a young child.....don't think I am complaining.....he brings joy to my life on a daily babsis and I can't imagine life without his addition to our lives.
Thanks so much for sharing with me, my friend.
Blessed be!
@texasclassygal (5305)
• United States
12 Apr 07
First, Happy Birthday, I just celebrated my 47th birthday this past weekend and yes, it is getting harder to celebrate them, but I hope to never stop. I miss the days when I was in my 20's and 30's but I have lead a very blessed life and I would not like to replace anything that happened, I just wish it didn't hurt so much these days.
Thoughts that often come to my mind is "If we knew we were going to live this long we wouldn't have taken better care of ourselves."
1 person likes this
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
13 Apr 07
Ha Ha, Texasclassygal...I agree I would have taken better care of my body too. I had to laugh as I had not actually thought of that before. So thanks for the giggles...Happy Birthday to you as well. I also hope to never stop...I want to live to see as many great (possibly great, great) grandchildren there will be from this group I have started. LMAO.......April birthdays RULE!!!!!
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
13 Apr 07
Thanks for the Happy Birthday, Mlgb_24. I am glad that you get so excited over your birthday...I love to see folks happy. I do feel young at heart....most of the time.LOL!! I agree with the more beautiful, meaningful and wiser! You must live some life to be able to truly appreciate what it is all about! Thanks for participating.
@martinha (631)
• Portugal
12 Apr 07
Happy Birthday in advance!
Birthdays aren't difficult...yet. I can't say I'm old, I'm only 21 (this year I'll be 22) so right now I really don't care about age. I can't deny sometimes I feel old when I see people younger than me doing some kind of things. Now almost everyone has a cell phone, computers, internet access, seing the evolution makes me feel a little bit old. Time has passed, but there's no way to stop it (yet lol).
I like to celebrate my birthday, I love to be with my friends and to have time to go out with some of them because some of them I don't see for a very long time.
1 person likes this
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
13 Apr 07
Martinha, your response made me think of my 21st birthday...I could hardly wait to be your age! My daughter was getting ready to start kindergarten, that year, and this year, my baby(I have a 4 yr. old), is getting ready to start kindergarten again.....that was 25 years ago...and I am still in the same spot...well kind of. What great memories you brought back.....thanks so very much. I wish you all the best and hope that in 25 years someone can make you feel the way your response has touched me. Blessed be.
@Palace_Girl (416)
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
I'm very uncomfortable every October 29 when I'm around people who knows it is my birthday. I don't like being the center of attention. But when I'm alone, I feel blessed and thankful that I was able to go thru another year. That is why on my birthdays, i try to spend sometime with my self.
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
13 Apr 07
Palace_Girl, I also like some "me" time on my birthdays...reflecting on the great things in my life and all of the things I have to be thankful for. Your friends and family are just trying to let you know how special you are to them on your birthday..I am sure and they would hate to make you uncomfortable....Blessed be.
@printer1 (11)
• United States
13 Apr 07
Age means you've been around for that many years. It's true that your only as old as you feel. I'm 55 and I feel great! When I was in my forties, I found out that I was middle aged beacause my wife told me. I still play sports and go to the gym.
1 person likes this
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
13 Apr 07
Congratulations on felling so good, Printer. I really do enjoy this time in my life....and all of the little seeds I have planted....4 kids and 7 grandkids so far....I sell real estate in rural Arkansas so I am quite active as well...plus our baby is 4 and he keeps me very active and busy. I appreciate your response.....I think it was our 6 yr old granddaughter that told me I was "old"...think that is when the saddness started this year...I am over it by now...but got me for a minute...LOL
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
13 Apr 07
I am sorry that you hate your birthday. I too, love to celebrate other people's birthdays. Anything I can do to brighten that day for them....makes it special for me. I appreciate your response.
