You can't have both parents at your wedding what do you do?  

They can either behave or they can both stay home. If they are that ignorant and immature they neither one should have the privellage of attending. I heard a really smart comment by a tv/radio host one time "cant you love your children more than you hate each other" I have always remembered that and think its words that people like that should live by.

We had that problem when my daughter got married with the new in laws. My ex husband and I both get along and knew there was no question that we would sit together in the front pew. My daughters father in law to me called her and told her divorced parents don't sit together. She said well mine are. The hassle went on and on so at the rehersal I talked to the future mother in law and my ex talked to the future father in law and we just told them they are adult this is their sons wedding they can sit together and be nice. We thought all was set and everyone was on the same page. The day of the wedding came and we were just getting ready to walk up when they decided to start the crap and weren't sitting together. I was furious. I turned on them both my finger wagging saying.. you will get up in that front pew I don't care what your feelings are. This is my daughter's wedding and you will not mess it up. The look in my eye told them not to even think about messing with me. After a few more instructions up the isle they went and we made it through the wedding. So it is possible but takes a lot of attention and a stern mom that has an evil look!!!

my parents wouldnt do that if they had to go to my wedding and both be there, but if they want to be like that then neither can come or they can deal with it, i have a stronger relationship with my mom, but i would like both parent to be at my wedding.

Well my own parents have been married for...going on 38 years...so I have no actual experience in this and it's hard to know about things unless you've gone through them. BUt my thought is...if they can't get along for one day, my special day, then neither would be invited. I have no idea if that's really practical in real life though.

Since I am divorced I can give that perspective...my kids are a long way from getting married but my ex husband and I will be just fine. We may not be married to each other but we are parents together. There have been a few times where we were so close at one of our children's functions that people didn't know we were divorced and when they found out thought we should get back together!

My oldest daughter's father and I are a totally different story but that's because he's an idiot and a jerk! According to her, he will not be invited to her wedding and if he does show up, a fight will break out because she, my ex husband and I will be throwing him to the curb lol!

This is indeed a tough decision. My parents are divorced but they still get along and respect each other. They forget the past and they live on. My dad calls me everynight and when i am not home, my mom answers the call and they exchange a few words but they don't augue anymore. If my parents were the type to cause problems, I would speak to them and explain for my sake to behave at my wedding. If they can't cooperate, then there is no point in inviting them but i sure that parents will make an effort for their children

There should be no having to decide. The parents should both understand that this wedding is NOT about them, it is about their child. If they cannot behave and act like an adult and let this day for their child be special like it should be, then they both should stay at home. A child should not have to choose between one or the other.

But, since you asked what I would do...I would tell both of them just that. I would let them know that I was NOT going to choose one over the other BUT, I was also not going to put up with a scene such as they always seem to have, at MY special day. If they could not promise me that they can and will conduct themselves in an appropriate manner, then I would tell them both to stay home. As I love both my parents and want them both there, it would be their decision if they were going to share this day with me or not. I would make it clear that if they (both) showed up and started a scene, then I would have them not only escorted away, I would NEVER include them in anything in my life again. The decision would be left in their hands to make and therefore whatever consequences might occur because they both were there, they would have no one to blame but themselves.

I go away on a fabulous cruise, skip the fancy wedding and have two separate receptions, one with each parent. They will have to just deal with the fact that they have made it impossible to have a traditional wedding.

Well I'm afraid if they can't get along even for an occasion like that, neither one will be invited. I'm sure that's easy to say for someone not faced with the situation, though.

I am not sure in this day and age. I would have to invite both sides of parents, I guess, even though I know all heck will break loose. I would beg them to please not fight at my wedding, but in my family, I know it would happen. I believe I would just have a wedding with just my husband and I and not have to worry with it. My aunt started an argument with my mother-in-law before we ever got to our reception. We got there and walked in and everything was quiet. I was so mad, hurt and embarrassed because all of the guest were very quiet and they were not very warm and inviting.

My parents are divorced, I am getting married. I don't love both of them, I wish my father wouldn't come, but I know he'll b!tch and moan about it for years if I don't let him. He's already complaining that he won't be walking me down the aisle. My parents get along okay, but my father causes drama with anyone who'll listen. I hate having him around.