The Man Of Your Dreams...  |
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 With so many ppl in prison it isn’t very surprising to find that women (or men) write to them. But how many ppl form relationships with them…planning to get together when they’re released. I’ve known women that have spent years writing to and visiting men in prison b/c they want to believe that when they are released that they can have a life together. Sometimes, although I’ve never personally known of it, it happens. Most of the time it’s a pipe dream that the inmate has made up to see how much they can get out of lonely women.
My Hubby worked for the state prison for 17 years and he’s told me how inmates would come up to the Bubble (like an office that’s sealed except for officers) and they’d drop off 20-30 letters all to different women. Most of the time they’d have a standard letter and a kind of fill in the blanks so you could pretty much send the same letter to every woman. They’d have a little bit about daily things, then the section on loneliness and heartache, and then the hook of needing money, gifts, visits, or numerous other things…and finally the icing of how much they love and need you. Women, for some bizarre reason, eat it up.
A woman I know spent 3 years in one of these relationships…she wrote to him daily, took tons of collect calls and drove 2 ½ hours twice a month for a 30 minute visit. She also sent him money weekly, bought him things that the prison allowed and even bought him a TV for his cell. When she’d go to visit she’d take a large ziplock of about $30-40 worth of quarters for him for the vending machines. He had it made. When she fell on hard times and had to have neck and knee surgery and could no longer do all of it…he decided it wasn’t going to work out and moved on…what did she get?? Nothing…just the loss.
A lot of times when you write to an inmate they will sell your address to other inmates. You start out with one inmate your writing to and the next thing you know your getting letters from 5 or 6. All of them wanting money, phone calls (also 3-way calling), gifts, visits, ect.
Some women get so sucked in that they actually go along with trying to help them escape or sneak things in that are prohibited. I remember one news story of a woman with four kids that tried to help an inmate escape, got caught, went to prison and lost all of her kids.
What drives these women to take up with these inmates? What can they possibly offer you? Do you write to them? Have you ever had a relationship with one? Did it work out? Would you want your daughter, granddaughter, niece or sister involved with an inmate?
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
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1.  raychill (3493) | 2 years ago |  Don't know if you've ever heard of the West Memphis Three (http://www.wm3.org). It's a story of three teenage boys who were accused of murdering three eight year-old boys. They were sentenced to life in prison and are now in their 30's. Most people in the world are pretty certain these guys are innocent and were wrongly accused as there was no evidence.
Anyway.
The main guy accused, Damien Echols, he got sentenced to death. He's been on Death Row for 14 years. He's been married for 11 or 12 years. The woman met him when fighting for the WM3 cause and they kind of hit it off and they ended up getting married.
I think it's sweet.
But that's one case.
Other than that.. your discussion pretty much made me remember Geraldo shows about this stuff.
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| 2. book1962 (14566) | 2 years ago |  thats a tricky one twoey, and thanks for sharing some of these background information you got through your hubbys work.
Here in Germany the situation is different from the US you are not guilty unless proven you are guilty, and in US you are guilty and have to prove you are not.-
I got into contact with an inmate in US in California and we wrote and later I visited him, he would have liked to stay together with me but in the three weeks with him I found unfortunately he is not the one and so later we broke up. Sorry for that man but I could not stay with him.
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 uath13 (3770) | 2 years ago |  That's a little backwards. In the U.S. it's innocent until proven guilty & it's very hard to prove them guilty. Then they also have the option of appealing the judgment. If he told you otherwise you were lied to from the start.
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| twoey68 (9610) | 2 years ago | Actually, here in the US you are innocent until proven guilty beyond a shadow of doubt by a judge or a jury of your peers.
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~ | |
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| book1962 (14566) | 2 years ago | The problem is he was accused guilty of something he could not have done because he had a drivers license but no car at that time. | |
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| 3. Hatley (20684) | 2 years ago |  I think these are women who love bad boys, anybody who will give them some sort of thrill. these are the same women who would snub the average looking guy with good morals and a good job. they are seeing some kind of danger attraction thatthey do not find or appreciate in an ordinary working stiff.These guys could not offer anything substantial just that element of danger that thrills these women.I have never written to one or would I ever write to one. I am not one of the thrill seekers. Ilike my men to be decent law abinding men. I would not let my daughter or any female relative of mine get involved with an inmate.
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| 4. Mirita (1596) | 2 years ago |  These women have very low self-esteen and is hard for them to have a normal relationship,so is a way to feel loved and needed. In my opinion they need plenty of counseling.
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| 5. gemini_rose (10121) | 2 years ago |  Funnily enough, I was reading a story about this in the sun online paper the other day and there was a woman in it who had started a penpal club thing for people to write to these really bad criminals! And I was speechless, these prisoners are in there for murder and all sorts of nasty crimes and these women are forming penpal circles to be in touch with them. I really do not know what possesses these women to do this, I cannot imagine myself doing it,to be honest!! I would not want any of my family involved with people like that, no way.
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| Stiletto (3180) | 2 years ago |  I read an article a while ago about the serial killer Ted Bundy, apparently he had literally hundreds of women writing to him and sending him gifts. Unbelievable, the man raped and murdered women and children for crying out loud! I wonder about the mental health of these women who could overlook that fact.
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| gemini_rose (10121) | 2 years ago | They do, in fact some women seem to treat serial killers like idols as if they are really special, and some of these women have children of their own,yet they are willing to become involved with these kinds of people if they had the chance. | |
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| 6. vera5d (2204) | 2 years ago |  i can't understand it either...I read an article about an interview with a lady who married a guy on death row - they have 2 kids that are younger than the time the guy was in prison? how is that possible? why do we waste tax money by putting people in prison if they are still able to do the things they do?
I don't think prison is very effective or useful...but then I can't think of a solution either for these people who kill other people either.
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| 7. minnie_98214 (4383) | 2 years ago |  I just got a letter like this yesterday.....I tore it up im not stupid. Im thinking he got my name from a pen pal group I was in along time ago so im gonna try and figure out and get my name erased. I dont understand why you wouldeven want to write to someone you dont even know who is in prison. Not me thats for sure.
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8.  YorkieBear (980) | 2 years ago |  I would think low self esteem would drive a woman to do such a thing. I have never had a relationship with a prisoner, never had any intention to and never will have any intention to. And no way would I want my daughter, granddaughter, niece, sister or even a friend to be involved in one. If I were to ever find out one of them were, I would certainly discourage it and do my best to make sure that it stopped.
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| 9. blackbriar (6220) | 2 years ago |  I've never had coorispondense with an inmate and never will. I know some ppl do it just to give them friendship but nothing more. I would never fall for the type of 'scam' you just wrote about. But then, I never get lonely. lol
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| 10. ElicBxn (15229) | 2 years ago |  Lonely hearts, I guess.
I guess I figure that if I had a man, he'd better be treating me most of the time, or at least 50/50.
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