Living wills...do you have one? I want one and don't know what to put in it.
By moondancer
@moondancer (7431)
United States
June 16, 2008 8:31am CST
I was wanding if anyone has a living will and why. I am asked when I go to the hospital every time, do I have a living will? I don't but I'm seriously thinking of getting one.
I have told my family that I do not want to be hooked up to machines that are keeping me here if I can't live on my own.
Also when my mother-in-law was in the hospital in her last days. I remember them asking if she had one. Or if she had any wishes that we wanted to uphold.
And they wanted to know if someone had power of attorney for her. Or if someone was left in a decision compacity for her.
She had no such things. We told them we wanted her not to suffer and to do what they could for her to ease the pain.
She went to the hospital, while there she feel out of bed and broke her hip having to get it replaced. The put her in a nursing home right out of the hospital so she could get physical therapy. She never was able to. She had gotten a serious infection that went to all of her organs. Went back to the hospital. Being there for over a week in incredible pain and left us there.
My brother-in-law lived with her taking care of her, she had alzheimers. So I left talked with him about everyhing and we made decicions together. For one if not both of us was always at the hospital.
I have no idea what to put in this paper. I too do not want to be in pain. This is all I know to put down on paper.
So does anyone have a living will and what do you have or any suggestions for me?
I don't mean to intrude on something so personal. But I just don't know what to do.
Thank you all so much for any help.
2 people like this
11 responses
@nova1945 (1612)
• United States
16 Jun 08
I have a living will and keep it in my purse at all times just in case. I got mine from the state online services and had to have it notarized, but it is perfectly legal and all hospitals accept it.
Also, you might try nolo.com for more options. I am not sure what state you live in so can't tell you whether they have forms online or not and the rules might differ as far as power of attorney, etc.
2 people like this
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
16 Jun 08
oh thank you so much for the site. I'm in Tennessee, they may have one. I believe I can just have things noterized to be legal.
1 person likes this
@fluffnflowers (1594)
• United States
16 Jun 08
I'm helping my stepmother close her father's estate, and the lack of a will has made things very, very difficult. There are programs you can buy to help you come up with your will, or you can find a local lawyer that will help put it together for you. I think there are even formatting guides online that can help you if you don't want to worry about either of the former ways. It's usually a pretty inexpensive thing (~$90-200, depending on where you go and who you see) and it can same your husband and children a lot of stress and you'll make sure that your wishes are carried out to whatever extent they can be.
I'm only 20, but I'm often hospitalized so I made sure that I had mine done and have a medical power of attorney available.
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
16 Jun 08
I'm sorry to hear that you have to go to hospital many times and at such a young age. I too have spent many many times in the hospital most of my life. This is why I need a living will and possibly power of attorney should something happen.
I know you can make them up yourself saving attorney fees and the like. You just need the papers notorized.
This is what I'm thinking of doing, since I can put what I want to in the papers.
1 person likes this
@ketybhagat (4123)
• India
17 Jun 08
What exactly is a living will. Does it have only to do with being put off life support in case of suffering. I have made a will leaving my property and assets to my loved ones so that they do not fight in the long run. Is that also a part of a living will.
1 person likes this
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
26 Jun 08
A living will lets them know what your wishes are in the hospital when you can not tell them. Maybe you don't want to be kept going by machines. Or you want to not be in pain. You want to be kept as comfortable as possible.
You may also appoint someone as your power of attorney. Giving this person the right to speak for you and to take care of finacial obligations during the time that you can not.
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
17 Jun 08
Wills are very important for numerous reasons. I have one for my things and wishes when I pass away. But I don't have one yet called a living will. That lets them know what I want in case of being in the hospital and unable to speak for myself.
I don't want to be hooked up to machines to keep me alive, if that's all that's doing it. There are other issues too. Power of attorney so one person makes decisions for you. I don't believe I want to do this and have one person be responsible for a decision. I want to do a will and let them know what I want and don't want. This way it takes the pressure off of the family. They will already be upset enough. Having one to pull a plug on me is not something I want left on them to do and to live with. But I can let it be known this is what I want and the doctor can do it.
@travibabiesgirl (1690)
• United States
16 Jun 08
If you go to your local hospital most of them have a paper already written out and all you have to do is check the boxes that you want regarding your healthcare. Sign it and have a witness sign it and keep it in a handy place. I think you can even leave a copy on file where you seek medical treatment but I am not 100% sure.
2 people like this
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
16 Jun 08
Thank you, this is a very good idea. See this is why I need you all to help me in my jams. I guess I get caught up in things sometimes and over think them, lol.
1 person likes this
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
16 Jun 08
My husband and I have living wills which state our wishes for stopping life sustaining treatments and which also give each other medical and legal power of attorney over the other. I, personally, don't want to be kept alive if there is no hope and I know that, tough as he is on the outside, pulling the plug would be a hard decision for my husband to make so having a living will to speak for me could be a blessing to him.
1 person likes this
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
16 Jun 08
See this is one of the reasons I want one too. My husband is a good person and does what needs to be. He is a practical person and touch when he needs to be.
When it comes to me, however he is jelly. He gets so upset when I'm in the hospital or sick. He wants to be right there all of the time. I do mean all of the time...day and night until I leave. He will leave work to come to where I am.
He wouldn't be able to do what needs to be done. I know he would be lost without me. He would need lots of understanding.
Taking this decision from my family is the best thing I can do for them.
1 person likes this
@spoiled311 (5500)
• Philippines
17 Jun 08
hi moondancer!
well i have never really thought of it, so no, i don't have one. really i have not thought about it and so i have no stand on it, or if ever, what would i like in it. i just live life with faith in God, trusting Him with every day of my life. so i have really no idea of such things.
take care and God bless you!
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
17 Jun 08
The only reasons I've thoought of it is when I go to the hospital they ask if I have one. ALso with a few family members in the hospital lately and it being a real issue. I am going to make one for the hospital. I don't want to be hooked to machines that are keeping me alive. Also they won't give you anything for pain if someone does not tell them to do this. I want to be kept comfortable until I go.
My mother-in-law was in severe pain. I had to ask them to make her comfortable. Their reply to this was they had no instructions as to what to do and if they are not told to do so they don't. So all of my wishes will be in writing. Also I don't want my family to have to pull a plug on me. A doctor can do it. I don't want any family having to live with doing this.
@loujac3 (1188)
• United States
17 Jun 08
A living will is not like a regular will. It applys only to what your wishes are concerning your health decisions. If you become unable to make your own decisions than someone you trust to make those decisions for you is assigned that job. Be sure it is someone that is willing to follow your wishes and that they are okay to taking the responsiblility. Now, as for a regular will.....contact a lawyer.
1 person likes this
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
17 Jun 08
I have a regular will and did it myself. I just had it notorized. Everyone in the family knows what I want, but in times like these they don't think straight. I want to make a living will and put what I want in it not a form letter. I can have it notorized to. In some states this is legal and mine happens to be one. Thank goodness. I'm just not sure what all I want in it. This is why I have not done it. The form letters don't have everyting in them.
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
16 Jun 08
I dont have ANY form of will..though my husband bugged me for a few yrs to write one up when my kids father was still alive...Now that he's passed on my husband doenst think I need a will (living or otherwise) BUT my kids want me to draw one up....I keep stalling though....I should just get it done but its not something I like to think about..I knwo my husband has a will though....
1 person likes this
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
16 Jun 08
A will is a very good thing to have. I have learned through several deaths in the family lately and some with friends...just how important a will is for many different reasons. I have a general will telling who gets what and what to do with certain things I have. I also have in it my wishes for my body. This way it will help them to know what to do and eleviate any bickering. They won't have to say well I heard her say this one time, or she would want this. They know what I want. And in these times people are not thinking straight on what to do. I don't want them to spend any more money than they have to. There is no since in it. I'll be gone and won't enjoy what is bought or done for me.
But in the hospital, having a living will kind of does the same thing. I just don't know about some things and I'm still wondering about them, like to be resusitated. Or having them jump start my heart and pound on me. Or all of the other things they do, shots in the heart, many other medcines to get you going. I'm at a loss on this. I know I don't want to linger in the hospital for my family to have to be there all the time. I guess it's all about my family. I worry for them.
1 person likes this
@luvstochat (6907)
• United States
17 Jun 08
My mom and aunt both have a living will that states what there wishes are and I am appointed their power of attorney on the wills you need to make sure whoever you appoint as power of attorney will abide by what your wishes are.
1 person likes this
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
17 Jun 08
I give you credit for being a strong person. I will not make a power of attorney because I don't want that decision to be left to any of my family. They will be upset enough without having this to deal with. But I will have a living will stating my wishes and the doctors can do what needs to be done.
@shoffman2000 (560)
• Alexandria, Virginia
17 Jun 08
your local hospital should have medical directive also novo press has software
1 person likes this
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
17 Jun 08
Thank you for your suggestions. I do wish to do my own instead of a form letter.
