What happens after divorce

Well, divorce is bad news...usually. What happens after divorce depends on the people involved. Some people are just no good at relationships and might end up with 3 or 4 failed marriages. Sometimes, however, divorce can be a good thing. In the case of my parents, they hated each other as long as I can remember...and they loved doing it. It was a strange relationship. I was glad when they finally got divorced, though the months of both parents using me against each other (even at my age of 25) got old really fast. I made it through, though. I could handle whatever they could dish out after I lived with them and their constant fighting for 18 years. Anyway, now things are better. Their divorce finally went through a couple of months ago and they have both moved on. As far as the children turning out to be the losersin divorce....why is the sky blue? My parents stayed married until me and my sister were in college because they didn't want to put us through a divorce when we were younger. I kind of wish they wouldn't have waited though. Some parents are willing to work things out with their spouses and try to spare their children some grief, but sometimes staying married is bad for the kids as well. It's a risk we take with living. We're all bound to have some beef with our parents for some reason or another.

Well it all has to do with jealousy...The first family always feels the most important in all situations i have found.I don't know why...Like you said John and Judy divorce,they fall out of love,but they have this connection ,their children..John finds a wife,the ex wife feels left out,as long as John is single she has the upper hand so to speak,she can deal with him and their two kids,their kids are the FOCAL POINT....Now John gets married,ex wife has been pushed in the past,she takes it personal,her kids she feels comes first over the new wifes kids,she was the first family,the next family she feels is not as important as his first.The children are jealous because the mother is jealous...If he buys something for his new kids..OOPs Jealousy, dad has put his second family first...so as they feel.....I do not know WHY but this is just the way it is...The only way this can be avoided is if the first wife and second wife like each other and is very fair to all the children..Now if the second wife has already got children the first wife will always be jealous of those step kids,ahe is afraid her kids will come second and she feels ,she has first debs on the father...

I know, why can't they at least get along and be civil to each other for the kids. My late hubby stayed friends with his ex wife, I even became friends with her. We even where friends with her husband and after they divorced, became friends with her current boyfreind. There is no reason in the world to be nasty with each other. There were several years after their divorce and our getting together. I have always considered her family, we talk, we exchange Christmas cards. We have socialised together. I think that is the way it should be.

I think it all depends on the circumstances as I don't think it happens to all couples but maybe the majority. I went through all kinds of emotions dealing with lies etc etc. Then my then husband decided to go off to another state with his new partner (in crime) lol and take on her 2 children. I spent many years trying to keep contact between him and the children but as time went on it became harder and more frustrating for me. As for child payments....another story! My anger started to build up and even though tried very hard to keep it from the children he topped it all off when he emailed them saying "Mum is trying to turn you against me!" I was dumbfounded and took a step back and decided I had done my bit only to deserve this! To this day I would say I am still bitter but have kept it in "most" of the time! There is a lot of pain involved in marriage breakups and for what ever reason the children should ALWAYS be thought of first.

This is a tough situation. It's never or hardly ever easy to accept another into the fold. It may be that Judy still cares for John. Doing crazy things to involve the children in their differences is not good. They need to get along for the children and never down another in fron of them. Judy needs to get a life and let John live his.

I guess that it is just human nature.. Maybe Judy thought that John would come back to her and now she knows that he will not be coming back at all.. If they got along that well before, then it is probably the fault of just one of them and not the other.. Judy is probably having feelings of jealousy and it is probably a natural feeling.. Maybe she thinks that the new kids will be getting more time, attention and love from the father and the natural kids will suffer.. It is almost hopeless as I have a niece going through a divorce and it is going to be a rough one..

My husband has been diorced before. He was not interested in re-marring until he fell in love with me. I have never been married before, and I was never really interested in getting married either until I fell in love with im. It has worked out quite well for u.

well there is no such thing as never get along, yes a lot of couples have problems, if they couldn't stand each other married, many of them still can't when they are divorce, the hurt is just too deep. but not all couples are like that, I have a great relationship with my ex husband, my son has a great relationship with his his ex and her husband, he even went to their wedding.

Good question! I didn't get married until I was almost 40 but I have no ill feelings toward my ex boyfriends. Of course I know that's different from being married. My husband and his ex wife did not have any children together so they have no contact at all. From the way he use to talk about her though I shudder to think how it would be if they did have children. He doesn't talk about her much now. I think because I told him that the way he talked about her kind of scared me. Seems like there was alot of hatred. Maybe time has healed the wounds. I hope so.

Possible that jealousy plays a part in it. It is human nature for people to want things to stay the same and when they don't people get angry!

Hi Doll Relationships are hard even with a small number of participants and get harder with each added one. Emotions like resentment, jealousy, all the wat to hatred get kicked into the batter and the cake gets too sour to eat! xooxxoxoxo

Dear friend, This part of you just reminds me of my daugther whom I can see after I get a court order as our marriage is at the verge of seperation. Now situation is at the negatiotion for cash. I do want my daugther to be happy but she wants her totally and my property. That is a big story. Anyhow I feel really pity for those innocent childern or kids being victims of divorce or after life of divorce. But I love my daughter and I willing to give my property for my daughter but her mother just want takes her as part of game to win her side. I reeally feel pity for those kids.

I don't think it has to be like that. I've been divorced 19 years. When my ex remarried, at 1st I thought she was mean and that she didn't want my kids around. I discovered that my ex was keeping a lot of the negative feelings going between the 2 of us. Both of us wanted to get along. I went to their house (when he wasn't home) and asked her to go walking with me. We walked and talked and erased the hostility between us. Also, I found out that my children were exaggerating about events at their dad's house when they were with me and then exaggerating about events at my house when they were with him. But they were just caught in the middle and thought they were telling us what we wanted to hear and that was that I was a better parent or that he was a better parent depending on who's custody they were in at the time. The step mom is now also his ex and we are still very good friends. Her children and my children have grown up together and are still close. The ex is remarried and we are still friends today. It takes some work but you can be friends.

I knew there was a reason I didn't get that divorce until after the kids had grown and left home! LOL I don't know why these folks cannot all get along. Seems totally whacko to me.

My daughter went through that...she married a man with his kids but she didn't have any. Seems that everytime she tried to do something the mom would throw a wrench into it. The mother by the way.....left my son in law and the kids for another man. Now my son in law has always been a peace keeper and tried not to fight with his ex etc. But when he married my daughter his first wife suddenly tried to complete with my daughter and tear down everything she did for the kids....but through the years they have worked things out....and they all work together. I think it jealousy that defines this situation.

My opinion is that this sort of thing happens when the first couple rushes into marriage and/or childbearing before they are old enough and mature enough to know how to make good life choices and then they stop growing and developing because of all of the problems that they don't know how to face. So they separate but then they do it all over again with someone else. They need somebody to blame, so they blame the one who stole their promise of youth, so to speak. People need to be whole in and of themselves before trying to unite without someone else. This is not to say that all young couples are doomed. It isn't calendar age, it is maturity. Yes, the children suffer because not only is their conflict in their lives but they also lack solid role models.

I think the first thing is getting used to loneliness and the second thing is watching your children suffer. Perhaps the children suffer more than the adults in this. The adults have been through the scenario and know all the in's and out's and can handle it better. Children don't really understand. Their world and their point of view is much simpler and harder to accept because they know so much less. So you watch them suffer. As I said, perhaps they do suffer more than the adults.

Our friends divorce just for the sake of her sister who wants to go to other country.His husband married her sister to be allowed to come to this country.now that the sister here, my friend want's husband out.It's there children who's suffering now after the divorce.

After divorce your life continues. The world will still rotate and money will still move. It's up to you where you will go.