Finding love through the internet?

But then there's all the horror stories of meeting people in person too. More commonly on the internet but still. Meeting someone for the first time your always complete strangers no matter where you meet. So you take a gamble getting into any new relationship not knowing a person. I suppose that's what dating is for but even then that could still be dangerous because that doesn't stop people from hiding their true intentions!

So more power to the people who find love on the net I suppose.

I have made friends on the internet that I have met in person, and I suppose it's really no different. The first few friends I met in person, we chose a public spot, such as the mall. There was a time a friend I'd known only through the net was invited to my house, but I'd been speaking to them for 2 years on the internet prior to that point. Another friend who I'd known over a year, I drove by myself for 4 hours to stay with her for a weekend. She has since become my best friend and we've both been to visit each other many times. I still speak with her over the internet daily.

Well, if you think about it, you don't fall in love with the person's looks, just their personality, which you can get a pretty good idea of if you speak to them through the internet frequently, so perhaps you could fall in love before meeting for the first time?

I don't think I could actually. I know that sounds shallow, and it's not because of how they look it's because any conversation on the net or by phone just isn't 'real' in the same way as face to face is.

I've never tried it though, so perhaps if I met the right person online my views would change!

Yeah, I guess you just have to try it to know, and that won't happen because you're commited.

So I guess you feel the same way about friendships over the internet?

I don't feel the same way about friendships over the net, no. I've got quite a few friends who I initially met via the net and have met up with in person subsequently. In fact, my best friend was met via the net frist of all even though we actually lived in the same town.

You've got me thinking about why that would be OK for me yet not for a potential partner now! I guess it must come down to sexual attraction then. Perhaps that's the thing that I couldn't account for until I met someone in person.

Very good point. I hadn't really thought of that aspect, and perhaps that's not extremely important to some people.

My wife pointed out that maybe you mean by dating online. I don't consider that dating if they're talking on-line with each other. That's not a relationship. There is no relationship if your not physically meeting in person and going on dates like that. That is also what I was trying to say.

I never said it was weird. I have made very good friends on the internet, but I've never had a romantic relationship on the net... unless you count when I IM my husband... but we originally met while working together. Some people have done it, and if it works out for them, then great. I just wonder how do you feel trying to explain that to others. Like you can tell your children that you met their mother at school. I can tell my children I met their father at work. If you met on the net... does it feel awkward to tell your children you met there?

Well then I suppose do you ever feel weird telling people people you've met your friends online? It's really no different, it's still a relationship but it's a friendship relationship. You can still meet people with bad intentions even with friendship.

Obviously to some extent to you it must be weird because if it wasn't then why would you think that it must be awkward to tell people where they met?

But there is a bit of a difference. I did feel awkward when I went to visit one of my online friends. I had to travel to Canada, and at the border they asked how I met this friend. It was really awkward to say I met her online, but I am not explaining this to my children or friends really. To them this woman is just another friend.

I just wonder if it's awkward to say I met my husband online.

I don't know, maybe I do think it's a little weird. I'm not really against it, and I do know a few couples who've met through the internet. There is one couple I know who met through me, and although they aren't living together yet, they have taken many trips to visit each other.
I guess I just can't imagine doing that myself or explaining it to my children or friends.

Let's face it the internet is still new. More people are starting to text more than talk on the phone. The internet is still blooming and is getting increasingly popular to use.

Traveling long distances to meet people off of the internet is unusual and weird to me, even for a friendship. And it's my opinion that you see this as weird too. You apparently won't tell your kids and family how you met these friends.

I wouldn't personally be the one to travel to meet them, I'd rather stay in familiar territory. For example I've met a few people on the internet but only locally. One exception, there was a chatting site that my wife and I go to occasionally, we met this guy there that seemed pretty cool. He knew we were from Washington, and we knew he was from San Diego. He told us one day he was visiting his dad in Washington. We asked where about and he told us Vancouver. This was pretty cool since we lived in Vancouver and it is not that big. So we did end up meeting up but in a public place.

We've been asked how we met before and I can tell people friends and family but I still think that it is weird.

Why can't or won't you tell them?

Did I say I DON'T tell them? Not sure... most anyone close to me knows that my best friend was met on the internet. Actually my oldest child IM's with her a lot. I just never really made it a huge deal to point out that we met online. We are true friends now, regardless of where we met, so it doesn't really matter. But if anyone asks I do say we met online... it just rarely comes up.

Okay I must have misinterpreted what you said. I'm sorry.

Forgot to add i was so happy and in love i just wanted to tell the world. Also when we tell people how we met they usually ask for the full story.

I am happy that you found love. Now you say you had to go to Scotland to meet him... do you live there with him now or has he moved to your hometown to be with you? How long have you been together?

He moved down to England, which is where my home town is, to be with us. We have been together just short of three and a half years.

I could imagine meeting people locally to you on the internet for dating. But I would never go out of state let alone another country just for the sake of hopefully meeting someone to find love. No offense to you little one, just the way I see it if you go out of country to meet a person, they're probably just trying to get citizenship to the US. Not that I'm saying that's what he was doing, maybe he already had a visa and such in which case that would put me at ease a little bit but still wouldn't go that far out of my way for it.

But congratulations on such a successful marriage!

Never mind please disregard what I said I thought you were from the US. Never mind sorry.

How long did you speak on the internet before deciding to go meet him? That is a pretty big leap, especially when children are involved. Were you frightened that it may turn out to be a horror story, or did you make arrangements such as you'd stay in a hotel and meet in a public place for the first time?

We spoke for about 4 months before he asked me out. That was by phone and text as well. Also would put the web cams on when we spoke on the internet.
Yes it was a big leap but my children got on well with him as well.
Yes we did first meet at a public place it was at the train station.

And nobody thought you were nuts for bringing your children to a different country to meet a practical stranger?
I'm not trying to sound rude or judgemental, as obviously it has worked out for you. I guess it's just like some say, you hear those horror stories and it makes you think twice about these sorts of things. That's why not having been in a situation like that makes me wonder what brought you to take such a risk. But obviously you talked a lot during those 4 months prior to meeting him, as I doubt you would have put your children in any sort of danger if you were not sure he was trustworthy.

I am guessing from some of your other discussions you're still pretty much a newlywed.
How long did you talk on the net before meeting in person? Did you marry within 5 months of meeting on the net or within 5 months of meeting in person?

I think that would be pretty awkward, not just because you met on the net, but because you married so quickly as well. I hope everything works out for you.

I met my wife in a dating site 3 years ago. We get married 2 years after (october 2007).

WE meet a week after meeting on the internet, 5months from us meet in the internet... Yeah that could have something to do with it... I think we believe spending 6 years getting to know each other so we just ended up getting married. Yes we ae newlyweds... we have been married for 3 months.. Things are going great...

Well I hope things continue to go well for you. You've not even known each other a year, so I think that's pretty quick to jump into things.

Congratulations on your happy marriage and best of luck in years to come.

Thank you!

Congratulations to you. I hope you have many happy years to come.

Thank you:)

Congratulations to you.

Thanks.

Sounds like a dream come true, congratulations.

That is a very good point.