How can i forgive the one that killed my child?

HUGS.

They say, when something like this or an abuse happens, forgiving is taboo. It's hard to forgive someone on something esp. with losing someone whom you loved eternally.

All I want to say is that it is ok not to forgive. Crap to all those who would cite some quotations from the bible or from wise guys about forgiveness. Right now, in your heart, you know that forgiveness for that person has no space, and it would not give you the sense of justice. I support you with how you feel.

First of all, let me please just say to you that I am so, so sorry that this happened to your son and your family. This is such a tragic story and drives home the point that such violence is so stupid and so senseless. That someone would take a life over something so stupid as an argument at a club...I think it says something about our society and how little value we place on life.

What he did is unforgivable, in my opinion. No amount of "sorry" is going to bring that child back. He wants to feel better about what he did by getting your forgiveness. He doesn't have the right to feel better about anything. He should have to live with the knowledge that he destroyed more than one life and he should have that weight on his shoulders for the rest of his.

My son is my world. He is my very reason for existence and I pray to God each day that he is never taken from me. If it were me, there would be no place in my heart for forgiveness. Maybe I'm just not that good a person. There would be room for hatred and vengeance, but forgiveness would be a long time in coming. I would want him to see my child's face every day, so he never forgets. I would show up for all of his parole hearings and emphatically voice any opposition to him being released. No, forgiveness would not be something that is in me.

If it would bring you peace, and you feel it's within you, then by all means forgive. If the pain is still too raw, then let him know how you feel. He should have to shoulder that burden.

I think it would take a truely strong person to see this person who killed your child let alone try to forgive him. I cant even begin to imagine the hell you have been through and i truely dont think anyone can help you, the choice has to come from you but I know having two children myself i think i would be the same and find it very difficult to forgive anyone who killed my child, but please if you decide to forgive do it for you not for him he doesnt deserve your forgivness but i also expect it took a lot of courage for him to face you, i hope you can come to a choice that gives you some peace but like i say do it for you not for him. xxx

I'll bet the pc of so and so recently learned that if the victim's family forgives him, then maybe holds a greater chance of early parole. I have no idea, I am simply speculating, but it wouldn't surprise me.

I have heard that if you forgive, that with SOME (and I do mean only what i interpret to be few, as it depends even upon their faith and what guides them in life) people the sense of loss of their loved one is easier to deal with after forgiving. Personally, and at this point of speculating, since I can't say for sure what I may or may not do, but might gut feeling is that i would NEVER EVER EVER ON THIS GREEN EARTH, EVER forgive the lousy pc of slime.

I'm sorry that I have likely been no help as I can feel the contempt rise up within me, just out of mere sympathy for you and your loss. I agree with mmiller and tryx, but in saying that, do wonder if all three of us might be wrong.

I think that this is something you and you alone, need to follow your gut on and not be influenced by others,
or at least when I say others, I mean ones who are not professional counsellors. I think there are people out there that are in a better position to advise you.

If you do decide to forgive, I say it is still just fine for you to do everything in your power to ensure the bast*rd does every single second of his sentence. I believe that these are two separate issues, so don't let yourself get confused by that aspect of this tragedy.

My heart goes out to you.

That is such a hard question, that brought me to tears. I agree with whoever said to pray for God to help you forgive. I don't think I could do it on my own, it would take divine intervention. With God all things are Possible. I believe the prayers of a Mother are so Powerful. Just as we are Gods Children and he Love us perfectly. Hope I helped somehow. God Bless You and Your Family. After reading your update, I sure hope the Guy/Girl was caught. And again I think only divine intervention can help you forgive, That was an intentional thing. And it should teach us all a lesson on road rage. I'm sure most of us have been on both sides of road rage. Maybe not to this extreme. I know I'm going off your original question some. But someones life can be saved by you sharing this..God Bless!!

Hello nomoremrniceman,


I am so very sorry about you son, it is so terrible I cannot imagine, no won't be able to forgave either, i would like to kill him myself but that we can't do so I think time will heal and maybe then you can forgave.


Tamarafireheart.

I am so sorry for your lose.
How you agreed to see this boy is beyond me you are a very brave woman, if you decide to forgive this boy it is your decision and your decision alone no one can help you.
At the moment you are still grieving and will for a long time to come, it is an horrendous crime and i hope he serves his full time a young age or not.
my thoughts are with you and i wish you all the best for the future and hope you find peace of mind.

You can only forgive, when the time is right for you, and not when this man wants or needs you to.
I'm very sorry to hear about your sons death.
I've heard it said that to lose a child leaves an undiscribable emptiness, compared to the lose of anyone/thing alse in your life.And learned this to be true.
You have to reach the point in your life when you are over your grief, and can cope with your son not being there anymore.
I can understand your reluctance to forgive this man, considering the sensless way he disregarded your sons right to life.
I hope and pray that you find peace, and whether you forgive or not forgive this man... live your life to the fullest.
{{{ hugs}}}

i am so sorry for your lost of your son. that hardless thing to lost is your son. time will heal just remer the time you had with him and go on with your life. if it was me i wount forgive him who kill your son how can you he was your child you gave birth to. how could the killer ask forgiveless. i hope you ok i feel so sorry for you and your family. was that the only child you had may i ask

I am so sorry for your loss. How sad that someone can loose control and take the life of another human being. This is terrible, I know how you are hurting. If you find it in your heart to forgive him then you are a better person than I am because I know I could never forgive him for what he did.