What would you all do in this situation?

I would not put up with that. I hope you dont have kids because children should never have to see that. It is awfull she picked her bad habits over children. As a mom I do not understand some of the things parents do.

This friend of your sounds like she needs help, the drugs is what is the problem, she doesn't seem to care, she parties all the time, she lost her kids it sounds like to me like she want you to feel sorry for her. I wouldn't feel sorry for her.

Hi Shaun,

Maybe it's her way in coping up what happen in her life? or her way in escaping any problem she is facing? Have you talked to her? Maybe she needs someone to talk to when she is not drunk and she can vent out?

I agree with you, she has to stop this or else she is just ruining her life! If I am close to her, I will advise her to stop and help her in diverting herself to any good stuff rather than getting drunk almost everyday~

Aww I don't know about you but if she was living with me, I will give her an ultimatum to shape up or ship out! I can't have people in my house treating it like a hotel and behaving like that. MyGosh! She has kids and she's simply living like she hasn't got responsibilities in the world! It's time to put some sense in her and make her realize that life doesn't work that way.

If she is fatalistic or have a death wish or so, you don't really want to be a part of it! Get her some help, on the other hand, unless the person realize that she needs help, you cannot really do anything about it. But I tell you what, if I was in your shoes, and I have problems of my own, I wouldn't bother taking another baggage unless of course she wises up!

This is hard because she is family. I do think that she is turning to you because she feels like you have a certain level of understanding of her addiction as you admitted to having some of the same behaviour traits. And in your desire to help her you are actually facilitating her by allowing her to come. Unless she is of sober mind and trying to combat her addiction she can't see the harm that she is causing herself or her family. But you have to realize that though she needs the support of her family, she also needs tough love and professional help. Everytime you open your door you are saying that I am okay with what you are doing, regardless of what comes out of your mouth. Sometimes they have to get to the point that they have no where to turn before they will seek outside help. As you know the drug use and addiction will only get worse unless she kicks the habits. And the worse that it gets for her, as it will for you too. You are probally the only one that still will allow her in and you have to stop. I can imagine that this will be hard but you have to.

I am so sorry you are having to watch your cousin go through this. I wish I could tell you it will get better but the awful truth is: It won't. Your cousin is an addict. She is addicted to alcohol, other drugs and crack. You did not cause this. You can not cure this. And you can not control this. You can not wish this away either. She needs professional help. Most crack addicts are out of control and even after years of rehab will return to using. The odds of recovery are not good. It does not surprise me at all that her habit has become more important than anything or anyone else in her life.

Love her, pray for her but do not enable her.
Stay Safe, Stand Strong.

Your cousin is ruining her life. What a waste but I guess she enjoys clubbing and drinking. some people get the kick from drinking and socializing but to do it everyday is a bit too much. I think your cousin needs counseling otherwise she will ruin her health in no time. She need a hard knock to get back to normal life.

I feel so sorry for the kids. Actually I do not understand how to solve such problems.

shaun 72 I would take this cousin aside and talk turkey to her, as she needs a wake up call.She cannot do crack and drink herself'silly and expect to camp out at your house everycouple of days. she needs to stop and quit the drugs and the alcohol, get her to turn herself into a rehab place for druggies and get clean now before she is a day older.really talk tough to her, tell her you care and want her to get healthy so she could get her kids back. she will kill herself the way she is going with the c rack and the booze.wake her up a nd get her in rehab now.

I am sorry that your cousin is doing this to herself and I wish that I could give you the infinite advice you need on this situation. I am not even sure if I can give you advice, but I would definitely try to get her put into an alcoholics and drug abusers program so that she can hopefully be rehabilitated from this messy lifestyle!