A moment of sick satisfaction

Whats the matter with you people? This accident left behind an 11 year-old and you are doing a happy dance?

This is a sad state of mind to have to live with, good luck with that.

Maybe someone that dislikes you will dance at your death and do it in front of your loved ones just so they could get even. You are as twisted as the OP.

LOL...thank you Opal! It is awful to think this way but I can't help myself. She very well may have turned her life around but I can only remember who she was 10 years ago...and most of the words are not allowed here! Yes, ex-hubby was not an innocent victim but...she knew he was married, she went after him specifically because he was married, she had the audacity to call MY house asking for him and then got mad at me (called me names) because I told her he was busy and I wasn't going to get him (he was out mowing the lower yard and I did have two babies in the house to look after). Ugh...it was a horrible few weeks and it really did lead up to the bigger problems that plagued my marriage until it's ultimate end. I feel bad for her family and especially her son but I can not yet bring myself to be sad that she is dead. God forgive me... (HE does like us to be honest though so maybe He will be lenient lol)

DrMario...If a person has people who are happy when they die it's because they lived a life deserving of it. That was her fault for the choices she made...I didn't choose for her to do what she did to my marriage. She caused the trouble and I am not the only woman out there who felt this way about her.

And by the way......she didn't raise her son. She popped him out but never wanted to actually be a mother. He spent the majority of his first few years with one babysitter or another until he was adopted my his grandparents so she could meet guy after guy after guy, many all at the same time (including my hubby, her hubby at the time, and at least 2 other guys all within that same time frame) So yes, I'm sure it will affect him but the fact that she chose men and bars over him from the time he was a few months old probably affected him already.

You can try to justify it all you want. The fact remains that a small child has no mother and no matter what she has done to you or others is no reason for a stable person to not only be happy, but to boast about it in a public forum.
I think that you should be ashamed of yourself. But thats just my opinion and I'll bet it means nothing to a person that laughs and does happy dances at the death of a mother with a small child, regardless of where or who the child lives with.

Yes, God will forgive you, but in years to come will you be able to forgive yourself?
Knowing how you have spoken here, I'll bet you won't even give it a second thought.

I hope you find peace one day.

You're absolutely right. I won't give it a second thought.

I've read enough... I will remove myself.

DrMario is absolutely right you guys who think its good she laughed and it doesnt matter are just as sick as she was for laughing at something like this

me too Oreo. This is very sad.

Opal I would feel the same way, and so would most people. It is sad that her son is left behind but from what Foxy has said about her, he might just be better off. I certainly would feel a little better knowing I couldn't see my mom because she died rather than the fact that she would rather go out and party.

I am sorry that the people that look down on Foxy for being brave enough to say something that we would all feel want to take this as a way to bash her. most people would feel some satisfaction when someone that has hurt them badly has something bad happen to them. It is part of the "darker" side of human emotion. She has her own emotions, and noone but her knows how badly she was hurt.

If my childhood abuser died and I posted that I felt better because of it, would I get the same reaction? I doubt it. You don't know the depth of someone else pain until you lived it. So leave her alone for feeling the way that she does. She just had the balls to say what we would all feel.

Thank you Erilyn, at least you and I commented the way we
did because we knew the story behind Foxy's pain. I would
NEVER wish a mother's death on a child! If the people
who where putting me and Foxy down for the comment's
we made (which I didn't really mean that I was doing
a happy dance over someone's death) would have understood
as you did that there was a very long history of pain
that was inflicted by this woman on Foxy then maybe they
wouldn't have been so quick to judge! I never meant that
I was happy that a little boy would suffer! But since
you people don't know the whole story you also have no
right to judge! Foxy is a good hearted woman who was
caused a great deal of unnecessary pain! Leave her alone
PLEASE!

Nobody is trying to justify anything, dmario. We are talking about an all-too-human emotion of being satisfied for a moment that somebody got what they deserved. Of course it's sad that an 11 year old lost their mother, I lost my own mother when I was 9. My mother never caused the break up of another woman's marriage though. By the way, I feel the same way as the OP does, so feel free to hang me now. I welcome virtual hanging. Of course it's of little consequence and doesn't matter any more than what I had for lunch 3 days ago.

Oh thats where you misunderstand me mommy.

I understand the feelings she had, I just thought it was twisted that she chose to boast about it in a public forum.
I don't care what you had for lunch three days ago either, I just know that you are wrong here and eating crow now.

Please ask god tohelpyou forgive her. I know about a spouse being taken away. The only way I could forgive was to specifically ask Him to help me forgive. If you don't you will end up with Satan.

Opal, its not only knowing Foxy's pain but just the fact that at one time or another in our lives EVERYONE has felt that Yeah! moment when someone who has hurt them gets something bad happen to them. I think thats the part everyone here keeps forgetting that she not only expressed how she felt about the natural human emotion, but was brave enough to post about her feelings. I wish more people had the guts to come out and say something like that and admit to the honest human emotion that all of us have felt.

No need to laugh about her death. She's dead anyway!
Maybe it will make you feel better at first but you'll soon pity her on what happened, pity her son that she left.

No Drmario, I am not sorry or 'eating crow now' as you say. She didn't BOAST about it on a public forum. Unless it is now equal to BOASTING if you even MENTION something publically. Geez. Obviously this is why it takes guts to even admit to anything in public because of the overwhelming crowd of people ready to crucify such a person for even mentioning anything. I refuse to feel 'sorry' for the fact that humans have human emotions and express them however it ends up. People cannot control EVERYTHING, and at least I get that.

I guess you think differently than I do.
I find this and your defense of this distasteful.
Theres my honesty.

Thanks for the honesty DrMario! I will not be ashamed of myself..besides she once said she wished I was dead so it all evens out! I think it's a quite normal reaction actually considering the hell she put me through. I hope you never experience this sort of thing but if ever another person comes in and tries to steal your spouse, spreads lies about you, and basically ruins your life...then come talk to be about how disturbed I am.

It just so happens that very same thing happened to me and although I hated the guy I never wished he was dead and had he died I seriously doubt that I would be happy about it, especially since a small child was left in the wake. There I can talk to you about it and I think that you have crossed the line of decency.
That is how I honestly feel. As time goes by I'm sure you will feel differently about this. First of all just her death is bad enough, but the child, foxy, the child.
I can't even relate to the feelings you have shown or more importantly the reason you chose to post something like this here.

I stand by my words, you are somewhat twisted in your reaction to this tragic event.

And I'm not going to argue the point..although please read my comment above before you get too concerned about a motherless child.

I know it's sick and distorted to feel this way, I admitted that from the start. But I stand by my opinion that there is something quite normal about it.

I guess I grew up on the other side of town....

I can't seem to find anything at all normal about this.

Its twisted and distorted and in your heart you really know it too.

Yep I do..I've said that myself several times but being sick and distorted isn't always a bad thing. Now if I'd said I wished I'd been there to see the accident and watch her die.....well that would be a different story! That is way beyond sick, distorted and disturbing! And I am not that kind of person.

What is that saying....."Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned".....well here's the proof and I'm fine with that. I really am a normal person by the way, it's just 3:30am here, I had way too much caffeine today, and the way everything has been going lately I have to take satisfaction from odd places. And this is definitely the oddest place!

Well then, considering the circumstances, I may have mis judged you. I apologise to you for that.

on the surface it seemed a bit distorted, I'm sure you'll admit.

Please accept my forgiveness for reading what I did into it.

Hey there DrMario, I know it's you are a nice person but you have to understand that sometimes people can give you so much sh!t in your life that you just wish they'll die and eventho we all should be nice, it does not apply when the person you should sympathizes give you so much hell. I know it's the higher path to be all nice and good but then again, humans are humans. Go Foxy Go.

No problem! The most recent response worded it quite well...the one after moonlitmagik, I don't know the number or name because I just got it and was heading there to respond when I saw this comment from you (my notifications are funny that way)

Anyway, in an ideal world this would seem completely horrible. But in my little world...eh, it's still not totally right but not completely wrong either.

(I wasn't mad at you for being honest by the way, I expected some people to not understand me feelings very well)

The only hell she got..is her husband..TURNED TO SOMEONE ELSE FOR EMOTIONAL SOLACE he couldn't get at home.

And if she was such a tramp as she says she is and her husband ..CHOSE TO BE WITH HER..then Foxy..you must have been worse than her for him to go lower than you!

Dr Mario, I am glad that you were able to see what she acutall meant by her post. I applaud her bravery in posting something that we would all feel but 90% of us would not have the balls to say out in the open. Most people would feel the way that she did and I certaintly would feel the same way she did.

He didn't go be with "the tramp". I'm not sure what part of "it only lasted a few weeks" that nobody understood. As for me being worse...I had given birth to our son 2 weeks prior to all this starting so take that however you want.

Drmario (sorry for misspelling earlier) you say you are only being honest, so is Foxy (and others here). If you wish others to be respectful of your opinion and your honest view, please give the same courtesy to her. I can't believe you don't know anybody else in your life who wouldn't feel this way - for even a split second. She never said she was doing a happy dance and it's not like she's ecstatic about a horrible happening. She just had a moment of 'finally, justice' when she heard what happened to this woman. That has nothing to do with the child she left behind, nothing to do with whether she cleaned up her life or not. I don't think that matters, besides, it was an ACCIDENT. Accidents happen. People die in them. It may appear to be karma but many good people die in accidents too. I think too much is being made of this.

I think you are one of the ones making too much of this. Why are you defending behavior that is at best questionable?

I understand the feelings, I can't say that enough, but to say it outloud or to boast in a public forum goes beyond decency.

You know that too.

I'm still not understanding how this event that happened such a long time ago could have such a hold on you, especially since you said he was an abusive alcoholic. Haven't you had good things going for you in the past few years that would allow you to let go. You shouldn't be happy or sad about her death. You shouldn't even care at all by now.

Why does it go beyond decency? Because she was honest about an emotion that all of us have felt at some time or another? Just because she decided that she was going to have the guts to admit to having a feeling most of us would never tell anyone that we felt?

You say you understand the feeling, then why is Foxy's decision to actually face what she felt and talk about it wrong? Why is honesty a bad thing?

You people blow me away.
When someone is so honest bout something that clearly crosses the line of decency and you defend it you become part of the problem.

While I can understand thinking things like this, bringing them out in the way she did in a public forum is tactless.
Re read her original post. It is written with delight.

There is a small child left behind and how do you think that child would feel if they were to read something like this written is a non-chalant manner about his mother, no matter how bad of a mother she was or what foxy thinks she did to her relationship. This is just plain ugly and after reading most of the responses in the two discussions she started on this, it seems to be the majority opinion.
If you want to defend her, great.
Just don't bash my opinion, she asked for my opinion and I gave it to her. No one asked you to keep this fire going, but if you want it to, I have plenty of kindling and nothing but time on my hands.

And I happen to be right.... if you really think about it, you know in your heart I'm right too.

Honesty isn't a bad thing, in fact its a good thing.

This is where a person got twisted up and took pride and was laughing about another persons tragic death where a small child was left behind, that goes beyond honesty, its just mean and cruel and heartless.

Drmario I am not bashing your opinion just asking to try and understand it. You can understand the feeling, and I am sure you at one point have felt the same way. She did not boast about it nor was she trying to say that she was right. She stated how she felt, and her reaction to hearing the news. She had the bravery to speak aloud about a feeling seh experienced that most people would never admit to feeling. I applaud her bravery, as most of us (and I have been guilty of this myself) denied or outright lied about feling this way.

On the day that I had heard about the death of someone who hurt me more than I could ever express here, I was in school and when I was told I couldn't help but smile. At the funeral I had to keep from laughing becasue of all the "sentiments" that were given and noone knew the amount of pain I had suffered at the hands of this person. I had to excuse myself several times, and said it was becasue I was overcome with emotion, but wouldn't say what it was. I was afraid of reactions just like this.

That is why I applaud her for being brave enough to face how she felt, because knowing her she is not that type of person you would think would do that. sometimes it can't be helped.

I guess we were raised in a vastly different way.

I was taught not to kick someone when they were down.

Do you think that honesty is always the best policy?

When my wife asks me if her jeans make her butt look big, do you think I should be brave and be honest or should I tell her what I always do.... that I think that they actually make your butt look smaller.

An open forum is not the place to share honesty like this, it will draw opinions like mine and many others that will show that many people feel that the way it was written was honest yes, but it was heartless and cruel.

If you can't see it that way, fine.

Im just hope that something like this never happens to anyone, you, me or foxy.

It is not questionable and she is not 'boasting'. It is your opinion that sharing on a public forum is wrong or 'too much information'. Why else do such things as open forums exist? As you can see, this posting received a huge number of responses because so many people crawled out of the woodwork to bash and attack and 'question' the posting. It appears that it received a lot of views because of its controversial nature.

I don't like to see people put on the spot and attacked for simply being human, it takes courage to be honest in today's world because all that happens if you are is that people attack you. You might be surprised to find out that many many people feel this way and have had a moment just like Foxy's, but FEW would mention it because of what played out here. Most people would just keep it to themselves due to self preservataion. I think it is silly to torpedo Foxy because she talked about it. It proves what a bunch of heartless animals many humans choose to be.

Iwill agree with that, foxy is a heartless animal. I don't even know what I'd call you for defending such a thing.

I really hope that this doesn't happen to you one day, you might just see my point then.

I have no idea what that is supposed to mean.

It means he messed up with you, messed up with her, and messed up with the kid. That just was not expressed well, I agree.

We don't know the real story and did he really mess up 3 lives or did Foxy just mess it up herself.

Come on if the guy stayed with her until she died in this accident..she must have made the guy happy.

Besides all she is saying about her bar hopping etc..I don't believe its true..its made up to make us approval her sick distorted mind.

Dancing, I don't know why you choose to think that it was something that Foxy did wrong, why is it that if a woman is hurt, it is somehow all her fault? And i would agree that there was more than one life that was affected, but who is to say that he didn't just do it becasue he wanted to?

And I'm still not understanding how my husband messed up anything but our marriage. He had nothing to do with her since 10 years ago and certainly had nothing to do with her5 son who was born before he met her by a guy who was not even her own husband.

Feather, do you have some issue with Foxy? It sure sounds like it and I am only a few posts into this thread! It's almost like you have it in for her. I won't use the other term, it might give me a posting error lol.

Ok...she wasn't his wife. Never was. I was the wife.

time to say OOPS! sorry!

but yeah whoever she was dont laff on her but laff on your hubby!!

like this>

Excellent response sugarplum. Excellent.

"if he stayed with her since then then he must have loved her a lot, and you should be happy for him." He has not seen her in 10 years either. They never had a relationship beyond that summer 10 years ago. If they had then I would feel differently. I guess you would have to know the whole story of what happened to understand why she was much more to blame than him. I never said he was completely innocent but he and I worked through it, she put the blame on me. Mine was not the only marriage she destroyed or tried to destroy.

"I read that you said the mother did not care for her child very well" That is putting it mildly. She did not care for her child at all. He stayed with a babysitter 5 days a week...and I mean 5 days straight, not just while she worked, she did not see him at all during that time. On weekends he went to another babysitter where she would visit him for a few hours before heading off to a bar. This was when he was a year old but started when he was just a few months old. By the time he was 5 he had been adopted by his grandparents because she met a guy a few hours from here, moved in with him and never came back for her child. This child has had no relationship with this woman. But I suppose that's besides the point, right?

Hey there sugarplum, there's some points there where you are wrong. Death is not a horrible thing when if you have faith that after death there is life. You are being a good person by saying foxy should do all the things you have suggested but you should understand the pain she went through and everyone reacts to pain differently. She is just being human.

If he never had a relationship with her past those couple weeks when you guys were 19 you should have been able to forgive a little at least and not still hate her so much that you laugh at her death and a child's loss of a mother

Ya she is just being human..a very sick one.

Sugarplum, I can understand where you are comming from, but there are some hurts that time does not heal. She had a natural human reaction to this, and had the bravery to post a discussion about it. You yourself said that you had wished someone dead in the past and deep inside I am sure there would be a place that you would feel some staisfaction knowing that karma or whatever you want to call in came back and got whoever it was that made you feel that way.

Thanks I needed that! I do know it's not 'right' but I couldn't help it. It's the whole karma thing I guess that amuses me more than what actually happened to her. That part is sad but the rest... phftt, oh well!

yeah maybe you laugh at someone that you don't like when something bad happens to them but not this horrible and the worst part about this is the kid. HE HAS NO MOTHER NOW. get that through your thick heads you sickos

Sometimes you can't help yourself! It is part of the "darker" side of human nature and you know what we all have that side to us. Foxy was brave enough to post about it. I hate that the people that have come here and said that her ex cheating was her fault or that she is a horrible person. I hate to say this but most of us would feel that way and would have every right to, the problem that came up was that she posted about it!

Moon you have hit the nail on the head most of us like I said would feel that way!!

LOL! See, I know that I am completely normal and I agree with you. Just the fact that we realize it's wrong doesn't mean that stops people from doing certain things. People do things that are wrong all the time, wrong as against the law wrong, wrong as in morally wrong, wrong as in not the way you're supposed to do something... etc etc.

In fact, the only reason people feel bad about it in the first place is social conditioning, you are TOLD that it's wrong and you are TAUGHT that you shouldn't feel that way! If you were never taught or told it was wrong, is it still wrong? Wouldn't it feel okay to you? Feelings are not wrong, even if they are not in line with the socially acceptable things in your culture. Also, I must mention that some people stick to those 'socially acceptable rules' more strictly than others. To me they are guidelines. There is a WIDE range of normal. Some people's version of normal is like ON THAT DOT or it doesn't count. I simply can't see life that way. How the heck do you have any fun or allow for any variation??

LOL..thanks for sharing that! Sometimes we need a little vengeance to feel that all is right in the world.

I absolutely love the first part of what you said. In an ideal world my feelings would definitely be very, very wrong. But we are only humans and have human feeling so sometimes we do act inappropriately. It happens but does not mean we are bad, especially when we can say we know we're being inappropriate but just can not help it.

Yes, we know it's not a good thing and not the right thing but everyone is different. We can all say things like, 'I am not gonna do that if i am in your position' but then again, if it had truly happened the exact way to us, would we truly react the way we said we would. My friend once said to me, 'I am your friend and i'll defend you no matter what' but then when his reputation is on the line he succumbed to the pressure and sold me out. So, people can always say we should do this and that but when they are in the same situation, it remains to be seen if they'll practice what they preach.

First of all God says we are not to avenge ourselves but to let Him do it. He knows better than us and if the revenge is justified or not.

To Dancing Feather, didn't God is the one who avenges Foxy by making the accident happened? Foxy is just reacting to it.

Koharu, You are 100% right. And you are also right that she is not the one that caused the accident and seh has every right to feel the way most humans would feel when someone who hurt us gets it. God gave us those feelings so who is say that she is wrong to feel that way when it is part of human nature.



"let he who is without sin cast the first stone"

Dancing Feather thinks they were put here to harrass Foxy ... by God or something. I'm not sure. I'm not trying to be petty or trite either but I see negative comments all over this thread.

For your information, God will have his retribution - and not just against Foxy.... at least she is honest and not being a hypocrite.

So mommy.... why are YOU spreading yourself all over this discussion?

Are you a caped hero here to defend the defenseless?

Two things happen when people do this.
1. the little star number will go down
2. a flame war results and people get banned.

This was all settled until you stuck your nose in.

My guess is that this will now go on and no one will be happy with the outcome.

Settled? Last I checked you decided to answer me.

Word mommy, word.

Who hasn't had pain? She isn't the only one and some have gone way worse than she has. No wonder he left her. If she can keep being like she is and laugh a sickly laugh at the woman's death then she deserved what she got.

Actually DancingFeather I left him because he was an abusive alcohol...but I suppose I deserved that too right?

Ok Foxy, I'm just tuning in here but what I am getting is that ten years ago your ex has an affair that last a few weeks, you stay with him and work thru it(?) three years later you guys divorce and now you are ecstatic over the woman ( who means nothing to you anymore) death. So exactly what have you been doing for the past 7 years besides keeping up with what and who she is doing? How can this keep eating at you if your ex was an abusive alcoholic and you probably would have ended up divorced or dead anyway. Maybe she did you a favor and you just couldn't see it.

I bet in dancingfeathers dillusional world...you most likely did something to deserve the abuse.
Same way that you were a bad wife so he went searching for someone to take care of him.

Foxy that is such a joke. I don't get angry like this often. But this blaming you for your husband running around is really getting under my skin. My dad cheated on my mom and denied it for a long time...until he was caught. My mom gave this man everything that HE wanted. He had it made with my mom. To this day my father will admittedly say that he wronged her. He also has said that he should not have let my stepmom torment my mother the way that she did. He admitted so many things at a family get together. But basically he claims that she in no way deserved what he did to her.

I cannot believe that so many people are saying that "the other woman" holds no fault. I will tell you this...God help the woman that even makes an attempt with my husband.

LOL! That was great, Boppie. I can't see how anybody could go off and hold the WIFE more accountable than the 'fling' for what happened. Of course the husband is also at fault for caving to something like that, but I will be the first to say the one MOST at fault is the beotch who tries to take up with somebody who is married. Married people are off limits. Plain and simple. I am married and were some chick to eye my husband, if it was blatant and in front of me, she'd be lucky to get away with all her limbs still attached to her heh. My husband probably would not allow someone to parade all over him anyway, but I definitely would not just stand there and let something of that nature unfold.

Thank you mommy and boppie! And to be clear, not that I need to defend myself or my ex.....he was not abusive nor did he drink until she came into the picture. She messed with his head because she wanted him to party with her, I messed with his head because I thought he should be home with his family, he lost control of his life until he was so lost he didn't know what he wanted. By the time her husband knocked him out cold in a bar parking lot, our marriage was in huge trouble.......,longer story short...we didn't do counseling, we were to immature to handle the loss of trust and feelings of abandonment, every little issue seemed 10 times bigger than it was which created a vicious cycle of him drinking, me being needy and untrusting, him pulling awaymore, which caused me to latch on harder and so on and so on.

Well, after you mentioned you had just had a baby, and knowing what it's like right after having a baby - a very young husband may feel neglected because babies take SO MUCH attention and care and time. Of course it was wrong for him to succumb to that woman because she had no business pursuing him, but I realize that men and women are tempted by different things. You're right in saying that he should have been home with his family and not partying, but if you settle down early, it is hard to let that go. I was partied out relatively early before I got married, but some people don't get that opportunity and are always left thinking 'what it?' or 'I miss it' lol

I had a friend, well a daughter of a friend actually who was like that, only she basically left her kid and her parents (my friend and husband) ended up taking custody of him because all she wanted to do was party. Being a mom was too much for her, she hadn't even wanted to have a kid anyway

What if, not what it lol.

Good response.. Maybe foxy is paying..karma