A moment of sick satisfaction

I do not believe you are a bad person, I believe you carry long grudges and lack emphaty. I have had similar feelings to that but will not laugh at the death of anyone. It is just not me.

Though I've never had similar feelings (maybe because I've never had anyone I really hate...die..yet). But I don't think you are a bad person.
You are human....and I think if I really hated anyone (and I definitely HATE someone who had an affair with my husband....hate him too...and like you would let it cause problems throughout our married lives...unless my husband really felt remorse for what he did and made a genuine change), I'd be happy too.
Though my husband never had an affair (that's what I believe), there is one woman that I really hate (who I think was trying to have an affair with him) and I'm sure I will be very happy if she died too....maybe I wouldn't laugh...but I'd be glad she was dead. I wouldn't be proud of myself either....but I know I'd really be glad.

The lady messed around with your husband for a few weeks when all of you were young, probably selfish, and had no idea how to keep marriage on the right track. You allowed stupidity on his part wreck your marriage instead of working together to ensure that your marriage would last no matter what temptations would come in the future. I hope that somewhere in the last 10 years you found counseling to resolve your feelings of anger and have moved on to a happier time in your life. I have had people in my life that have not treated me fairly or well, however, to spend my life hating them, wishing them dead? No, they were not worth the time. My life is much more valuable to me than giving them a second thought. Yours should be too. If it's not, get help and move on. No one is guaranteed a tomorrow, don't spend the rest of your life venting over the past,today may be all that you have. Her child will grow up without her and no matter what his mother did to you, that is a terrible price for a child to pay let alone being old enough to understand how horrible her death was.

You feel how you feel.
When I was 15 I had a great uncle that tried things with me and I was happy when he died. Not jubilant but relieved. It was just wrong what he did.
My case may be a bit different, but not really. Because of one person's actions your life was changed forever.
I was always raised that when people die it is sad, but that is the sad part. It isn't always a bad thing. Not everyone is a vital part of society.
Once I had a boyfriend that cheated on me. Later on he met up and slept with another girl an he got crabs. Now that was justice well served.

I would not say I had similar feelings about an old "enemies" death but I do understand where you are coming from. When I was a teenager, my mom worked as a loss prevention officer. She caught this one girl stealing who went to the same youth center as I. The girl found out who my mom was when my mom went to pick me up. The girl and her friends were relentless with the way the picked on me and my cousin. After a while she figured out I was taking martial art classes through the youth center from the same instructors she use to train under. The reason she no longer trained there was because she went into a tournament wearing a diamond ring on her hand, she hit an opponent and cut their face open. She was disqualified and banned from anymore tournaments. She was also kicked out of the martial arts school because she had a history of doing no so nice things.

Anyways, she begged the instructors to let her come back to only train and they did. She was the only girl who was experienced enough to spare with me so the instructors put us together in the ring, dispite them knowing how she constantly picked on me and also the trouble she caused and was always in. In the sparring ring she thought she could get away with beating me up, and the instructors were always well she doesn't know her own strength and she needs more practice pulling her punches. Well I got tired of her doing it so the last time we sparred I knocked her senseless. Of course she went crying to one of the instructors and all he said to her was well when we told you calm down and pull your punches you should have listened.

She tried to do other things to me but the instructors saw threw it and took her aside. She eventually stopped by quitting around the same time I did. I never liked her because of the things she did and said about me and my mom.

Fast forward 4 years later. She was 18 and was murdered by 3 of her boyfriends, friends. They came over to the boyfriends house and saw her sleeping on the couch and they decided they were going to try to do something to her but the struggle ended with them killing her.

When it was reported I was in shock, I didn't feel bad about what happened to her because of what she did in the past and also I have an idea of the people she hung around. When the news reported this whole light hearted stint about how she was trying to become a model and how clean cut she was, I did have to laugh because I knew a different side of her. I may not of given an evil laugh but I didn't show remorse either. I had one friend say I was heartless even though the girl did what she did I should feel sad about her death. I told that person it's hard to feel sad for someone when you know the road they willingly went down is the reason why they end up the way they did. Do I think she deserved to go that way? No. Do I think she would be prematurely dead? Yes. Should I fault myself for not being sad for her? Nope. I feel sad how she went but I don't feel sad about her passing.

No, not bad, just human.
Feelings are valid, no matter what they are or how fleeting.
It wasn't as if you caused her accident.
It's understandable to dislike a person who cause you such pain and suffering.
What I really cannot stand is when someone dies, who was not a nice person, everyone suddenly speaks of him/her as if they were wonderful.
Recently a person I knew who worked for my father died, I never liked him, I held no ill-will towards him but when I was told of his death I didn't feel bad. I didn't feel anything. It doesn't make me bad.

Hello foxyfire33,


Its only human nature to feel like that but I couldn't wish that on anyone because it can come back to you like a big smack in the face but I really would have been more mad about your ex not her after all he was a slim ball for doing that to you, if it wasen't her he went to it would have been someelse so I would have vented my anger at him. Men are wek don't forget.

Tamara

While I can understand, I really don't think that you should be laughing. You said it yourself that you were all very young. She didn't wreck your marriage....your husband and you wrecked your marriage, she was just one of the factors that soured the whole. Now I can honestly say that I wouldn't be sad or sorrowful neccesarily either. Here let me give you a situation...

I was molested my my Brother-in-law, and eventually in his 30's about 5 years ago or so now, he got bone marrow cancer and died. Everyone in the family was all boo hoo etc, and I put it like this, I would NEVER wish Death on anyone, but I sure as hell wasn't going to pretend that I was sorry he was dead. It was unfortunate, but in my eyes he got what was planned for him. As we figured he was also molesting my Nephew for sure, and maybe only a time before it would be my neice as well, he truely was an evil man in my eyes. So no I am NOT sorry that he is dead, but I sure don't laugh about it either.

You say in some of your comments that she lived a life deserving of dying in a firey crash....did you keep tabs on her all these years? How do you know that the indiscretion with your then husband, wasn't just a foolish lack of maturity that she, as many of us do, out grew? For every person that hates someone they have 10 more that love them dearly.

Long story short, Do I think you should feel sad for the loss of her life, probably not, do I think that you should be laughing about it....definately not.....Karma is a B*&^%!

No, I don't think you're a bad person, and I think it's entirely human to feel this way and even to laugh. Laughing and crying, while appropriate reactions for certain things - can happen at the wrong time as well. I was at a FUNERAL once and felt like laughing, I know it was stress and other things, not that anything was funny. I have also been at a funeral where we were sure this person had tourettes, he started screaming and cussing out EVERYBODY and had to be removed from the whole affair because he was upsetting other people. Now that I think about it, he was just having a breakdown, his mom had just died.

There are people in my past that I would not be disappointed if I found out they died. Does that make me just as evil and just as sick? Like I care. People aren't going to like everything about another person. When you've had somebody ruin your life or wreck your marriage or hurt your children or anything of that nature, of course you'd feel that justice was served if you found out they were arrested and jailed, murdered, or died. Human nature, my friend. Anybody who expresses total disbelief that someone might feel this way is deluding themselves. Nobody is perfect enough to completely detach themselves unless the original situation didn't affect them.

As an aside, to add fiction to reality, plenty of times I have been absolutely THRILLED when somebody I hate on a show gets what is coming to them, ie they get snuffed or the crap beat out of them by somebody I LIKE. lol! It's like goooo karma, and even better that the person who serves it gets to!

I have the feeling as I read through this thread (and believe me, I'm going to) I'm going to encounter people who try to say you should be ashamed of yourself and people who think this is downright terrible that you'd feel this way. I don't agree with any of them and I'm sure deep down somewhere, any and all of those people who are stomping you through the mud have done something they could be attacked over too, they just don't have the guts or courage to share it openly. I'd rather share my opinion and view openly and be attacked over it than be a coward and keep quiet, that's for sure. You go girl.

Hello brave foxy,

I think i know a little about how you feel. not exactly, but i will sharer my story. It's not about a spouse, but about a parent.

My dad was mentally and emotionally abusive when he lives with us right up untill i was 14, it got worse as i got older and learned to stand up for myself. . it almost never stopped every waking hour. I wished him dead SO MANY TIMES every day.. then one day i heard that he DID die. . was i happy.. well.. in some small way i was. . he would never treat another person teh way he treated me!!