Irresponsible fatherhood.

This is only going to get worse as she gets older. This is why so many young girls becoming sexually active at a really young age. They are looking for approval and love from other guys in a replacement for their father's love. The mother should seek out help from a family member (the girls uncle perhaps) to really take the time to befriend her. She will have heart ache if she doesn't do anything!

My brothers girlfriends daughter is the same way. She just turned 12 and her parents split while she was really young so she never really had that father figure I think she was like 9 months old. I am hoping that if my brother marries her mom he will be able to become a father figure to her. I know he can't replace her real father who has nothing to do with her.But she needs someone to love her like a real father would.

She is going get herself in trouble. If you now the father, you should tell him unless he straightens up and gets interested in his daughter, he will probably hear about her by gossip. Girls whose fathers do not involve themselves in their lives wind up being wild and sleeping around. My father took no interest in me, except to scold me because I was visiting my girl friend, and never laid down the ground rules. I dread to see what would happen to her.

It sounds like the biological father didn't want to be a real father. He had the child but didn't want her.

She's really indeed in need of fatherly love.. Well, since her mother is seperated from her husband for many yrs, it means that she's still quite young during that time to understand anything.. SO, it's also part of her mother's responsibility to teach her about things, about the rights and wrongs.. Though it's heartache and wrong of her to seek attention this way, but the mother should at least stop her, and teach her.. The father cant be blamed entirely too, because they are already separated.

My progenitor (I cannot call him father) left my mother when I was 2 months old. My mother is a brave woman who stood with 3 kids, the older one with 9 yo and two babies of 2 yo and 2 mo, in a foreign country, by herself. Since I remember, my brother become a father to me. Sometimes, when I was a little child, I cried for seeing my friends with their dads. Soon, I understood that a parent is someone who loves his child, teaches and encourages her. Nine years ago, when I was 33, my progenitor tried to know me. I refused then and I refuse now to show him the kids I have and he insists to call grandchildren. They only have a grandfather, my husband's father, and they have two grandmas: One great woman, my mother, and my husband's mother.

It is hard on girls when their father is absent from the home. My own daughter has gone thru this for 13 years since her father and I divorced. She tells me all the time how she doesn't feel that he loves her cause he doesn't have much to do with her and he rarely paid his child support to her. She has seen how we (meaning me and her I never remarried nor have I dated or lived with anyone since the divorce) have struggle to make ends meet and she has had to do without a lot of things including essentials like clothes and school supplies over the years cause her father refused to meet his obligations yet she has watched her half siblings get everything and do never do without. My daughter has had several strong male figures in her life though so that is good.

tell your friend, that some father are father in name only.it takes a real man to want to be with his daughter, and help raise her.as this child get older her loneiness will get worse of wanting to be with her father.it could even create some problems for her in the future like wanting men attention see this how this stuff gets started.i have seen this many times mom ,may want to move on and seek another father figure to be in her daughter life.

It is an unfortunate case of a man not wanting to be a father and behaving in a way that is correct for him. It is definitely selfish and the damage he will be causing his daughter is something he may never fully realise. Hopefully as she grows she will gain strength from the experience of rejection from her father and ensure she is a better parent when it comes to raising a family herself. Sadly it may lead to negative relationships and problems with insecurity in the future. Male family members such as uncles could step into a fatherly figure role to help your friend out with her daughter. Hopefully your friend will meet a decent man who will be good enough to step into the father figure role to alleviate the rejection from her real father.

Have you spoken to him about it? How about finding a lady the daughter is close ot and chatting to her about it, then she could talk to the daughter

I am a single mother and have always been. My son has never had his father in his life. I don't expose him to men that I would date as a male figure because I never wanted people to be in and out of his life. So I kept my dating life seperate. Never have mixed the two. However I have always made sure that there are positive male role models in his life. He has his uncles and grandfather that play a active role in his life. I actually went to them and said "I need help raising my son, I need your presence in his life". He goes to the Boys Club and has mentors there. He plays team sports and has his coaches. In no way does it replace his father but its the best substitute that I can offer him. As parents its our job to do the best that we can with what we have. My son is well adjusted. He will be 10 next month, and I have explained that if he wants to reach out to his father whenever he wants to he can. So far he hasn't shown any desire. Maybe that will change someday, who knows.

Oh, yes. I know exactly what you are talking about and that is so sad. She can't be blamed for the way she is acting. She has a need that is not being fulfilled and doesn't know how to go about getting it fulfilled properly and it looks like her dad is doing nothing to help her out in that department. I grew up in a similar manner, so I can definitely relate to what she is going through. She is going to have a tough life and my heart goes out to her. Let's just hope that something or someone comes into her life to help her grow up properly. Purrs, Catwoman=^..^= & Mija

Hi ya ronaldinu My boys do that too. Every time my brother comes to visit or we visit my brother they are all over him like a rash. I was glad that when my eldest son started junior school that he had a male teacher as he is the most grippy towards men and I knew he would do well at his new school as he would be trying to impress his teacher. I would not enter a relationship with a man just so that he can be a father figure for my kids but I don't see what can be done about this situation, much like your friend.

what about the mother? she has to play the big role try to talked her daughter, make her understand the situation i know she will, shes not a child anymore..

Unfortunately there are many children out there that do not have their father in their lives. This does create an absence in the childs heart and in the family. It is important for a child to have a mother and father figure to look up to and learn from. I have seen so many children in this type of life. They need that interaction with both male and females, a positive reflect for them to see and respond to. I try to help children in any way I can. I think if more adults would avail of themselves to be a part of a childs life that needs them the world would be better for it. My heart goes out to the children that are lacking in family be it mother, father, brother, or sisters.

Hi ronaldinu, You are a very understanding person and what you say here is certainly right. At the same time many children are in this kind of situation. I feel that this child's biggest problem is in knowing that she has a father who doesn't want to be around her. As you say it is very sad. Blessings.

Hi ronald my Grandson's father did exactly the same thing a few weeks ago and my Grandson is 4yrs old, it has been a very upsetting time for his mum and myself as her son won't know his father or his love although he didn't give his son much love whilst he was there...I can understand how you must think and feel...littleowl

That is so heart-breaking. My granddaughter's father is nowhere to be seen but he has never been in her life and luckily she, and my daughter, live with us and she has my husband who is her Pop Pop and uncles who love her. Hopefully, because he is not around to have a relationship with her to start with so she will not miss it. We are hoping that he never has contact with her, as not to confuse her.

Depends on who is missing, kids will always look up to someone who can fill that role up for them. There were two little girls here who said they had a crush on me and it seemed weird until I realized that they grew up without their dad. The crush they were talking about is just their desire to relate with someone who they think is ideal for a father figure. Kids don't understand what they're talking about most of the times.