Gift Bags for Party Guests--Do you Give Them?
By Kareng
@kareng (80243)
United States
February 20, 2009 9:19am CST
Ok here is the background on this one. Tomorrow is my grandson's second birthday. We are having a small get together at my house for family and I told my daughter that she is welcome to invite any close friends. I think there are only one "friend" guest with two small children that may possibly be attending. The other guests are all family...grandparents on both sides, great grandparents, aunts and the parents of the birthday boy. Here's the situation. My daughter's mother in law wants to do gift bags for all the guests. She has already taken my grandson to have 2 year old pictures made and we will all be getting pictures. I told my daughter that a picture is enough, we don't need thank you gifts. However, the Mother in law is standing firm and wanting thank you gifts. Now I could see a little goodie bag being put together for the kids, but I don't see the point for all the family, who will already be getting a picture.
What's your take on this? Do you give gift bags out to all guests at your children's birthday parties? Goodie bags for the kids only? Or do you think this is a waste of time and money?
8 people like this
15 responses
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
20 Feb 09
Is your aunt paying for the gift bags? If she is, then let her have her fun in getting the gift bags however, if she's not paying for them, then I'm with you on this issue. Either way, I think it's a waste to get the bags for adults BUT if your aunt is paying for them then I don't see the harm but if you're paying for them, then it's time to put your foot down. Good luck!
3 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
20 Feb 09
OUCH! Gee, I was just giving my opinion in which, I might add, YOU asked!
1 person likes this
@Polly1 (12644)
• United States
20 Feb 09
The party is for a 2 year old, goody bags for the kids is fine, but not for the adults. Everyone getting a picture is really nice. I never heard of everyone getting a goodie bag at a kids party, just the kids. What the heck would you put in one anyway. I think its a waste of time and money.
2 people like this
@kykidd (6812)
• United States
8 Jun 10
My sister is now a grandmother, well stepgrandmother and has the first one of her own on the way. She has always been really good at throwing parties, and get-togethers. As far as I can remember, whenever she does this stuff, the only ones that usually get gifts are the kids. She usually just gives them a little something that will help to keep them occupied when the adults are having conversation.
No one has ever expected anything more. And even though I do not have any children of my own, I will go to the parties and have just as much fun as the kids. I don't expect a gift in return for my presence. Plus, the host already has the task of getting their home ready, party favors, food and drinks. I think that is well enough. I am just happy to be invited and to be able to spend time with friends and family. It's always a good time.
However, if she wants to buy gifts, I wouldn't fight it. It's her perogative and if she is the one paying for it, it isn't worth causing a conflict. I guess we just have to choose our battles.
1 person likes this
@TnWoman (1895)
• United States
20 Feb 09
hello kareng
nope, i do not give out gift bags with small gifts in them to family and friend's that might happen to stop by for one of my sons birthday parties like that. sometimes, i will make up small goodie bags for all of the children that might be at the birthday party. but i cannot see in giving thank you gifts like that thou. what that i do is after that i have a birthday party, i will send out thank you notes to each individual that attended the party thou. and i make a note of what that everybody gave as a gift to one of my sons and i will put in the thank you note, thanks for the whatever toy. or whatever that the gift may have been. good luck to you in deciding whether to give out gift bags to the people that attend the birthday party.
take care and have a beautiful day today!
@kareng (80243)
• United States
20 Feb 09
Oh it isn't my decision. The party is being held at my house. I'm sure the MIL will buy this anyway and bring them along. She is like that. I am remembering the horror from my daughter's bridal shower where she showed up late and didn't have the bags ready. I had already told my daughter that this wasn't necessary, we had gifts for the games being played and that was enough. People come to parties and showers because they want to or else I would hope so, and not expecting to get a gift in return for giving one. That's just not the way it is *supposed* to work.
I'll let you know what happens..hehe.
1 person likes this
@JamesKYTan (1605)
• Malaysia
22 Sep 09
Dear kareng,
I attended a few children birthday party.
Normally they do give gift bag to those
children who attend, just to make them
happy. I don't see the point to give gift
bags to the parents or adults. It is really
waste of good money especially in this economy
situation.
However, my eldest sister-in-law always give
gift bag to the guests in any gathering. But
normally she accumulates the gifts from somewhere.
She did not spend money to purchase them :)
1 person likes this
@JoyfulOne (6231)
• United States
20 Feb 09
I think goodie bags are a great idea. I think that when they're young, grade school age and younger, that it just makes a party so much nicer. I never gave goodie bags to the older folks, just the kids. I think the idea of a picture for the older set is a nice touch, and I agree, that would be enough for them. When kids are little, I think it's hard for them to sit there and watch another kid opening up gifts, and gift bags let them feel that they are in on the festivities too. Have fun at the party! It's so fun to watch them when they're that little and have their birthday parties (I'm a gramma too.)
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
24 Feb 09
I don't do that, but different people have different customs and they are important to them. I think you should try to work it out with your mother in law, and if not is whatever you and your husband decide.
1 person likes this
@roberten (3128)
• United States
20 Feb 09
Sounds like granny has taken over the wheel and is exerting her new found (or taken in this case) authority. Your daughter will regret it for a very long time if she allows this woman to take control of a situation that really does not involve her. Your daughter needs to grow some and thank the other grandma for her suggestion but also let her know that in her house, she runs the show. If it becomes a struggle, she should consider only having a private birthday celebration for the immediate family only. Do not accept gifts and consider webcamming the event to broadcast to extended family members and friends via utube or other media. Your daughter should be very afraid of a medling in-law; that can set the stage for a horrible pecking order for the duration of a marriage. Anyway, goodie bags are for kids only, what is her mother-in-law thinking???
@walijo2008 (4644)
• United States
20 Feb 09
I think goodie bags for the kids are fine..I know whenever my sisters have birthday parties for their boys they always give out goodie bags to all the kids that are there, even us adults will get them, tho we don't need the candy..lol. I wouldn't give gift bags to the adults, the party is for the kids, and I think it would be a waste of money.
1 person likes this
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
20 Feb 09
I only give goodie bags to kids whenever I throw party for my kids. I don't see the point why I have to give goodie bags to to adult guests. I mean I don't think it is ever practical to spend that much. I have already spend for the food so that is enough. The goodie bags are meant for kids to make them happy and the contents are normally candies and small toys that will delight the kids. The mother in law would probably want to make all the guests happy. That is okay if she is the one whose gonna spend for those giveaways. But if not, then forget about it coz that will give your daughter extra expenses and obviously not practical at all.
@kenchiprincess (5296)
• Philippines
21 Feb 09
I think there i no need to give out gift or gift bags to the adult but the kids should get one it happens and expected in every children's party. Well if the mother in law like giving out gifts then let her be just respect her opinion as long as she is willing to spend. 
. I mean maybe she is happy that way. Nice topic and have a great day!!!
. I mean maybe she is happy that way. Nice topic and have a great day!!! @CRIVAS (1815)
• Canada
20 Feb 09
Okay I am sorry but I have to say that this is a first. I do the gift bags for the CHILDREN because it is always fun to get a little goddie bag, especially if your not the one opening the gifts. But for you to have to go to the trouble of making thank you gifts for all the adults just seems ridiculous, this is a birthday party that we are talking about not a wedding,LOL. I think that your mother in lay is just being over zealous and if she wants to do it herself, let her. I wouldn't trouble yourself with it, I am sure your family will think the same as we do. I just think that it would be a waste of time and money that could be better spent on your grandson's birthday party instead of on adults. I think that she will see the error or her thinking when she gives people these gifts. Truthfully I wish I could be there to see everyone's faces,LOL.
@lorraine27 (271)
•
20 Feb 09
i think it alway nice to give something at partys, it make the remenber the day. you would do it at a wedding it make it more personal also
@kareng (80243)
• United States
21 Feb 09
I can see this for little kids at a kid's birthday party and for showers but not for adults at a kid's party. So I think it is a bit of a different situation here. I do agree that in the right situation, it makes it more personal. Everyone will be getting the 2 year old birthday picture so it isn't like the adults will be going home with nothing.
@Grandmaof2 (7578)
• Canada
20 Feb 09
In my day this was never heard of, but in todays world you have to have money in order to let your kid have a Birthday Party. I personally think it's ridiculous but my daughter is 36 praise the lord those days are memories. I could never host a birthday party in todays world to do it like they all seem to. Good for you that you're having the party at home. Out here the whole birthday party goes out to McDonalds or to a business place that hosts birthday parties and Yes then there's the gift bags. I don't think gift bags are necessary and if it were me I'd stand strong on my belief and tell the mother in law I don't want to start a new trend that I have zero intention of carrying on in the days to come. She can do one of two things come to the party without the gift bags or stay home I guess.
@kareng (80243)
• United States
21 Feb 09
I know parties have gotten to be crazy these days and to me it just seems like every family seems to try to outdo the others. It's nuts! My grandson is only two so having the party at home is the sensible thing to do. At least my daughter hasn't lost her mind yet..haha.
