Should I let go or not?!

Yes, you should, and quickly. This gentleman has no love or respect for you. He is insensitive to your feelings, does not really care as much for you as you do for him, and seems to be mainly pleasing himself. Furthermore, no one has a 'textmate' with saucy messages when one has a girl/boyfriend already. Otherwise, what is it really about? how does he define his love? Would he have been happy too with you having a guy as a 'textmate'?

When we commit, even if we are not married, we are maturely showing what we desire and suiting action to words. This guy sounds as though he wants the benefits of having your company without the commitment to go with it. However, the most important thing here is that, if he is already behaving that way now, he is not going to do any differently later on, so you will always be feeling anxious, undervalued and insecure. That's no way to live a relationship.

The final bottom line is not about changing HIM because he will always do what he wants to do. If he loves and respects you enough, he will appreciate your feelings and treat you the way he would wish to be treated. If he is not listening to what you're saying or doing anything different, despite your hurt, nothing else will happen. Other people NEVER change. The only person you can change is yourself, then others will behave differently too. Until you begin to do something different by getting out of that debilitating relationship, the only person who will continue to get more of the same is you. If you have no self-love, no one can love you either and you only get self love by treating yourself with respect. Staying in such a one-sided friendship won't enhance that self-love or your self esteem.

You both are clearly mismatched as a couple. He still wants to flirt around, still immature and low in esteem, while you are seeking some stability and commitment. You won't be happy together. However, you can find someone more suitable for you if you get out of this anxious situation and allow yourself to find someone who will treat you in a more healthy manner.

Good luck!

1. if he lets you read the messages, you have nothing to worry about. If he gets snippy and defensive then I'd question what he was up to.

2. if texting is all it is, let it lie

3. for gods sake dont keep worrying about it. My friends bf did a similar thing with her, she went crazy and started texting the girl from her phone. She is now so obsessed that she pretends she's him when she's texting and she's got some sort of mental health problem. I think its munchausen syndrome. So please dont let it get to you.

at the end of the day it all comes down to trust. Do you trust him? if so tell him you do and tell him that if he ever does think about being unfaithful to at least have the courtesy of telling you as he would owe you that much. Personally i think you could be being a bit over paranoid because you love him so much.

I am married to a man that I have a child with. He became friends with some girl that I knew wanted to be with him. He told me they were just friends, and I did believe him. He was working in another state at the time, the girl that he was talking to lived in the state I do. Thanks to phone bills (and the way it was set up on the billing, told me where the call came from, and were he was at the time of the call), anyhow, I once saw the detailed phone bill, and saw that he talked or this girl called him more than I did. (More than half the time the call only showed a minute, meaning he didn't answer) but my whole point was there is no need for this girl to talk on the phone with MY husband, being the fact, that well... to be blunt she wanted to get into his pants. He to said it was nothing. (This happened before also, and he said he stopped talking to her, til I saw the phone bill again). But in my eyes if it is nothing, then he wouldn't have a problem not talking to her. So I told him flat out, that if it was nothing, stop talking to her NOW. Answer the phone the next time she calls and tell her never to call you again. If I ever see her number on your phone bill again I am leaving you. And I meant it. So I guess it was nothing, cause he saw how it bothered me and stopped it right then.:)
Sorry to make the story so long, but simply follow your heart, it guides you right. If it still bothers you and he loves and respects you he will stop. Otherwise, he not the one for you and you can do better. You need to be treated with the respect you deserve.:)

Good day.. The decision of letting go of him will eventually be yours. I can't say if he's cheating or not for I don't know the details but I do believe you should trust your instinct. If your getting tired with your relationship and the pain outweighs your love then I think that is the signal of falling out of love.

If he respected you and the relationship, he would make the decision to stop. If he says it's nothing then it should be easy. It seems to me that he doesn't understand that it taking a toll on you and the relationship.

i feel also bad with that kind of situation....... i recall that is the same thing that happen to me....my love told me they are just friends...... but i feel strange..... one time i found the cellphone on the bed..... and i look at all the messages.... it was the same..... quotes, hi & hello stuff..... but when i look at the sent message..... i saw one that made me cry...... the message was....."shes suspecting...... you should lay low......"
after that we argued..... i cried & cried..... my love told me sorry....Im only human... and that girl is insisting, i've pushed her away but she keeps coming back to me..... i promise i wont hurt you again.....please stay.....please dont let go...
But still that promise is seem to be a little of words & less of execution......
If you think you cant go on with that kind of situation.... well i suggest you let go..... but if think he is in the process of changing then stay.....

It seems that in one way or another maybe even more that he is not being truthful to you and he is cheating.
Why would he say or allow someone else to say things that should not be said when he is suppose to love you. He apparently does not respect you or your feelings for him to continue to do something that you wish him not to do.
I'm sorry honey, but I have been around this world many many years and I have found this type of behavior to be not right on so many levels.
If he does not stop and maybe even if he says he has ...he does not love or respect you. As long as he is doing this you do not need to be with him. He is so adamant and I don't think he will stop this or he will lie and say that he has so you will stop talking about it.
He wants his cake and to eat it too. He is only thinking of himself and what he wants.
It's high time that you do the same! Do hat is best for you. No one else will and you must respect yourself and what you want and care for yourself for someone else to do the same.
I'd lay the law down, he stops or he's gone. It's that simple, but I'd still not count on him and I'd do what I want to do save money just in case it is needed for you to make a move on your own and have a life that you want if it's with him or not.
Start doing things as if you will be alone and need this or that. One way or another it is always better to be prepared.
Blessings to you and what you need to do.

Hi Marie thanks for sharing feelings here my friend. In my opinion we as human being are always possessive, so you are too. It is right that you feel annoyed. But you must trust him too, he MIGHT be honest lol
Cheers and happy mylotting
Subash

He does not need to flirt with anyone else or have someone desire him when he has you! The truth if the roles were reversed then he would have a problem with it and should. No person should have to go through this or feel the way he is making you feel. Your feelings should be important to him. If he is still flirting with other girls and completely ignoring your feelings about this situation then it sdouds like you have to decide what you can live with. I don't think I could live with this! It feels like cheating and it hurts! If he truly cares about you then he wouldn't hurt you like this! I know how you deal with the situation is completely up to you but if it were me I would tell him it stops or I go. I would also stick to it. If I found out he was doing it behind my back I would leave. Plus he will stop if he loves you. It should not be an issue if he is telling the truth and their is nothing behind it.

My thoughts in this is, if it is nothing why wont he stop? If he really loves you and wants you happy why wont he stop? If you love someone you want them secure in their relationship I would think and therefore you would stop something if it was making them uncomfortable.