Should I let go or not?!

I agree with you in your concerns here. If this is 'nothing' as he states, then why does he do it? Flirting isn't harmless. Flirting often times leads you down a street befor you even know you've taken a wrong turn.

No, this isn't a stable relationship because he's still looking for outside attention. For whatever reason, he is not committed to you. I am glad you found these messages on his phone. It might be the forwarning you need to see if this is really a relationship for you or not. Yes it hurts now, but in the long run I think you would have wanted to know instead of being in the dark about it.

Actually as a third party,i have no right to ask you let go or not as i don't know the sweet and bitter memory you had gone through with him. What you need to do is have a talk with him regarding your relationship calmly. Remember, don't get controlled by your emotion during the talk, you are trying to settle your problem, not to make thing worse. At the end of the talk, i guess you will have the answer whether to let go or not. All the best ya.

Hello marie_cehl,

If I were you, I definitely get angry at him. But again, it is all about your level of trust. If he says it is nothing, means that it's nothing if you really can trust his words. I just do not understand one thing here - if he loves you, why he can't sacrifice his hobby of texting others. Even if he likes to text so much, it doesn't have to be in a flirty way, right? It is your choice, friend - think carefully before you make your decision.

Unfortunately some people are just cheaters. Also unfortunately you cannot change anyone. You have to accept someone for who they are or leave them alone. Even if someone says he will change...dont count on it. Its easier said than done.

You should be able to tell whether he's lying to you or not. He's your boyfriend after all. For how long, by the way?

Here's my advice...tell him how you're feeling. Don't just demand to him to stop texting that girl. Explain to him that it's hurting you and that you're starting to distrust him because it's really weird that he would flirt with someone even it's only through a mobile phone. Tell him, "how would you feel if I'd flirt with another man through exchanging flirtatious messages?" I mean, what's it for, right? Feelings can flourish from flirtatious exchange of messages. That's why cyber love affair happens. Who knows they'd one day decide to finally meet? If after talking to him he still don't respect your feelings, then, decide whether to stick with him or not. You have to save yourself from hurting more.

In my opinion, firstly you should give him a chance and both fo you sit quietly and talk about this "puzzle" things. If the things is trully as he says, pls let him give you a chance to meet the peoson he communicated and if the things have some odds or he refuses your request, let him go, do not care where he goes and what he did and doing, he is he, a men who doesn't trust you

What he is doing is flirting, and is wrong.
Your pretty enough to keep most men satisfied, so IF he refuses to stop his flirting, you can easily find someone who will respect you and you will be enough for him.

You need to sit him down and tell him how all this really makes you feel.Don't sugar coated, just say it straight. If he can't see that this is breaking your heart and he won't start, then it is time to leave. He may love you but he doesn't have empathy for you and that's bad.Since this Really bothers you and if it is Really nothing than he should be able to stop.Good Luck.

i guess...let him go and let him understand the situation...on how you felt for it how painful it is to you..you even know when his not beside you he maybe at the other girls side or stole the number of his textmate and text her ask what the real score between the textmate and boyfriend....goodluck girl...i know this is the best thing you should do...

marie_cehl,

Not to implore but I really feel that you have some relatively over sensitive and insecurity issues within yourself here. In the first place, how did you find yourself in possession of your boyfriend's mobile phone and press that read text message button? Has it ever occur to you that since the both of you are on a relatively early stage of a boy girl relationship, there is an area where it is called privacy? Where is the respect and awareness of this aspect in the relationship that you are both having?

The problem with people is that they want to look into and investigate their partner's history, life and even cellphone in this instance yet their love and maturity are not magnanimous enough accept the outcome.

It's only human if people are very sensitive to 'certain scenario' (open to variety of interpretations), but having that self awareness to understand that since our hearts are not exactly very big to begin with, to pursue relentlessly about people's past is like slapping yourself around a bit with a large trout, while trying to maintain your smile and composure. The question is why then allowed yourself to be confused with all that past and meaningless text messages when there are more important things to look forward into the future?

I am wondering if the euphoria that you have for each other have ended with those text messages that you have forgotten how to love and trust each other which is so important for the both of you in this relationship. IMO, that moment you opened those text messages in his cellphone, it's akin to a child opening the present that is not meant for her, only to find a broken toy train.

You start questioning yourself like how the child would ask: "how come my present is such a so lousy one?"

But unlike the child opening the unintended and other's present - can love be inferior?

Or is it because our perception has weaved such a formidable spell, so strong that we began to believe it, even we used to think otherwise?

People talk about love all the time - some even swear by God (you even used words like 'heart and soul...'). But when the real situation arise from nowhere and begin to probe the core fundamentals of your individual definition of this love - the entire structure of that 'cheap-talk' just crumble like a pile of cards, without even the need to say 'lets break-up'.

The relationship just got blown off - like how the little pigs who built their house with straws. Think before you decide to equate your love as prefect, wholesome or 'heart and soul' because they are probably just made of straws - easily shattered by his poignant past and habits.

If you are unable to accept his words, then you might want to consider an exit because you CANNOT change his past, habits and even his current hobbies. Acceptance is your only bridge here. If you decide to love, then you have to walk the talk and learn to build a house of bricks.

Take care and have a nice day.