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where does the love & caring go when ur children get grown? email this discussion to a friend?

myLot reputation of 93/100. ANTIQUELADY (11239)   ranked 650 out of 38,156 in life6 months ago

I thought i was alone w/this problem & that i had done something to cause it but as usual when u have a problem & u talk about it so do other people . My oldest son has been acting very distant to me for the last year. It started i guess when my mother died & since they were thicker than thieves she left most everything to him.THAT IS A LONG STORY I WANT GO INTO.aLOT OF MY FRIENDS THINKS HE FEELS GUILTY because alot of it would not have happened if he had stood up to her which he never did. MY OTHER SON WAS BARELY RECOGNIZED IN HER DEATH. That is another long story & i'm geeting away from mine.
i see friends who'busted' their tails to get their children raised, Anytime u raise kids by themselves it's hard, been there done that. what it is when they get grown they can ignore all u have done for them7 ignore u. DOES anyone else have this problem w/their grown kids??

 
 
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CatsandDogs (5125) response was accepted on 7/1/2009.
denotes best response.
tags:  kids, grown up sons, family
 
11. myLot reputation of 96/100. book1962 (14554)   ranked 1,522 out of 38,156 in life   6 months ago

hzi Antiquelady, I dont have kids so I will never have that heartache (but I sure do have some other ones).
I cant underatand how children can be so distant. My mom will be 85 in a few weeks, I live a 3,5 hours drive from her and due to all the commuting to work every day I cant phone her on a daily basis.She knows that if I get home later than lets say 9:15 pm I will not phone her so I wont disturb her. But I make sure I phone her twice on weekends. In fact today, Saturday I phoned her around 1 pm and she asked me whether I would phone again later in the evening and thats what I did. I also promised her to phone tomorrow.

I have also taken her bday a day off and I will commute to her place then with the earliest train connection available that means I will take the train around 5 am, be at her place at9:30, and I have also promised her I take the late connection home which means I leave around 4:30 pm and am then back home around 10 pm


myLot reputation of 93/100. ANTIQUELADY (11239)   ranked 650 out of 38,156 in life  6 months ago

GOD BLESS YOU for being such a loving & caring daughter. MY MOTHER & I DIDN'T GET ALONG BUT I WAS ALWAYS THERE WHEN SHE NEEDED ME WHICH SHE REALLY SELDOM DID. It's sad thing & i WOULDN'T WISH IT ON ANYONE. i AM SORRy u have heartaches, i guess we all do. I love my sons w/all my heart but they can sure hurt that heart sometimes. I hope your mom has a great bday & i'm so glad u are going to get to spend it w/her & i know she's glad to take care of her & yourself.

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12. myLot reputation of 94/100. libby2009 (1568)   ranked 1,541 out of 38,156 in life   4 months ago

Vanessa is only 19 and already has a lot of independence. She still comes to me though for a lot of things. Like last night, she called me all freaked out because the car was making a lot of noise. So I told her to relax and sent my dad down to her work.


myLot reputation of 93/100. ANTIQUELADY (11239)   ranked 650 out of 38,156 in life  4 months ago

u WANT THEM TO BE INDEPENDANT OF COURSE BUT GOOD SHE still calls her mom. I taught my sons to be independant but sometimes i think i taught them too good. lol.


myLot reputation of 94/100. libby2009 (1568)   ranked 1,541 out of 38,156 in life  4 months ago

LOL Well, I suppose we get back what we teach them.

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