I have a big Task this week

im so sorry for you. hopefully your daughter is happy by now. i can tell you that i know how you feel. see i am a divorcee and my husband was Jamaican whereas im white. my daughter has dark skin and i don't and because the kids in her school only ever saw me they would tell my daughter that she was adopted and all sorts of nasty things. of course this wasn't a problem in the UK because there were lots of mixed-heritage kids but here in Malaysia its quite a problem, she's only in the 3rd grade but there are kids calling her fat and all sorts of mean things and she really isn't even overweight its just the Asian kids are quite tiny. but they shouldn't even be worrying about things like this now. anyways i wish you luck with your daughter. cheers.

I feel for your daughter and, as a mum, I feel for you too. I hate to see my sons upset over anything but, sadly, life and "friends" are often cruel and, no matter how we try, we cannot protect our children from these knocks.Every parent knows that it DOESN'T get easier as your children get older because you cannot ease their problems with a hug and a bandaid anymore. I know its a bit of a cliche but all we can do is 'be there'. Your daughter is fortunate that she has a loving, caring, supportive family who will help her through this vulnerable time and I hope her self-esteem will grow stronger so that, next time someone she trusts hurts her, she will be less affected.

I don't think that their age matters; if someone hurts your baby you can't help but hurt right along with them. Why did she turn on her like that? You are doing the right thing by having her to stay. A little TLC will help her no end - and you too. But I think that when she goes back to work she should sit down with the person and ask her, gently, why she said what she did. She should make it clear that she doesn't mind constructive criticism, but a full frontal assault really wasn't helpful and now she would like to know what it is that she has done wrong and why the woman is so upset about it. Good luck to her and love to you. XXXX

Aww, that's awful!

You would think that a woman that age would be a little more wiser in her choice of words to such a young girl. And after being friends with her for so long? That's really strange.

Maybe the woman herself is having a breakdown of some sorts seeing she is having problems with her hubby. Or, out of curiosity, do you think she found out somehow before your daughter did, that she was getting promoted and is a bit jealous?

I'm sure your daughter will be fine after a while, she's surrounded by love and that will break the barrier eventually. She just has been hurt to the core deep down and it probably was quite a shock to hear. I'm glad to hear she's coming to stay with you for a week, that will strengthen her I'm sure, and hopefully you will be able to have some fun to take her mind off it. There's nothing better than going home to a loving family full of support. Take care.

My fiance and I don't have any children yet, lol we're waiting till we're on our feet to do that. In any case, I can say from my own perspective that I have been hurt by friends and cried for so long, wondering what I did wrong, etc. I'm so glad my fiance was there to help me figure things out, and I was even told by his mom that it wasn't my fault. Lol, well I've since gotten over the hurt of those friends, and now they aren't my friends. I think that your daughter just needs to cry it all out and then maybe she'll get angry at her so called friend, and then eventually heal. Of course, no one knows better then you how your daughter will heal from this so called friend's behavior. Good Luck!

No I dont think anyone has done that to my girl or boys that I know of they might have not told me back then.
TEll Mel not to worry to much about it as the woman just might come around again never can tell.
JUst take it in stride and when she goes back to work act like nothing happend and go on and do her work as always.

Ya know how it is sometimes people get cranky and it could blow over if nothing more is said about it.
HUgs and loves to yll

One thing I've learned about people, gabs, is that you should always expect the unexpected. Maybe this woman was having a particularly bad day, and that is why she took things out on your daughter. Who knows? I would simply tell my daughter to seek out other friends and stay away from the woman. After all, at 22 the world is her oyster. I have four daughters, and they have each been hurt at some point. When the need arises I try to give them love and support, and not worry too much about who has done the hurting. More often than not the hurtful person is someone they don't really need in their lives anyway, and they will eventually find that out.

Hi Gabs,


To me that is not a friend who could do that to another friend, I am not the one to stay quiet and if anyone hurt someone I love as I have no children I give them what for, she shouldn't take it out on your daughter whatever her problems she is having, could it be jealousy?, you are a good mum and know that you will make your daughter feel better no matter what her age is, she can still sit your lap andd be hugged, I used to sit on my mum's lap and I was 48 then, your daughter should just ignore her when she goes back to work. Love and hugs.


Tamara.

yes...and you do feel helpless....but sometimes it just takes time to get over something like that....I never get mad. I get even.....I know that's not nice but I am passive/aggressive....so I can come up with a few things that made my kids feel better but not the other person....today a lady came in that I have known for a while....her siblings have made her the outcast...and I know her siblings so I know that what she tells me is the truth.....I offered her a suggestion.....that she send them all a bottle of sunscreen......and not say a thing about why...but I told her if was for when they were burning in hell for what they have done to her...I know it's not nice but she loved the idea...and is going to send her siblings each a bottle of sunscreen.....they won't know why but she will and at least today she had a good laugh....it's really annoying what others can do to strike out and hurt someone that trusts them....hope you can soothe the aching heart!

At least your daughter has a loving family. How could this woman behave so badly, it's her that has a problem, not your daughter.
My middle daughter has a partner who often hurts her emotionally, I could quite happily kill him. It sounds like we feel the same aout our children, Mr Croc often describes me as a 'lioness', where my girls are concerned.
Take care, gabs and just love her and reassure her, I know I don't need to tell you that, it will come naturally.