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Confused with relationships....... email this discussion to a friend?

myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships4 months ago

Hi friends,

Last week i attended my sister's marriage. Lots of relatives came to the marriage. I know most of the relatives, but i don't know some of the relatives. I know them bit i don't know how i was related to them.

One of my relative came to me and ask me whether i know them. I replied with shy that i don't know.

Then he tried to explain me how i am related to him.
He told as follow,

My grand mother's sister's daughter's daughter married the person who is the brother relation ship with the person and also he told that he is married to my sister's cousin sister....

I was really confused..
Then i asked him, how i relate to him. He told that he is brother-in-law. He was related to me in two ways. My brother came and explain in the second way and he explain my brother that i was related in this way too...

Are you confused with the relationships anytime?

Do you remember all the relationships you have?

Do you have contacts with your relations?

How often you go to your relation's house?

How many of them are your close relations??

Have a great day..

 
 
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ChrysanTflower (1087) response was accepted on 9/25/2009.
denotes best response.
tags:  relationships, relationship, family, relatives, confused
 
41. myLot reputation of 94/100. neildc (3531)   ranked 1,066 out of 23,311 in relationships   4 months ago

hi db. i know what you mean. sometimes, with a lot of relatives in one occasion gathers, you will not even who he or she is a relative. the best thing to do with it is just call them "kuya" or "tito for a male relative or "ate" or "tita" for a female relative. that's how we do it here in our place. lol


myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

I guess you ask me to call them uncle and aunty right??

May i know what that language is and what their meaning is??

Have a nice day.


myLot reputation of 94/100. neildc (3531)   ranked 1,066 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

yes, that's right, db. "tita" is "auntie" and "tito" is "uncle". "kuya" is an elder brother while "ate" is an elder sister. that's how we do it here in the philippines, and that is Filipino language, "Tagalog" dialect.


myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

Thanks for the info tito!


myLot reputation of 94/100. neildc (3531)   ranked 1,066 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

no problem, nephew. lol


myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

surrender

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42. myLot reputation of 81/100. jdyrj777 (2310)   ranked 6,840 out of 23,311 in relationships   4 months ago

Not so confused as when i read your post. LOL!!! Sorry but i do understand your confusion. In my own family. I mostly just know aunts, uncles, cousins. Then i knew the grandma's sister and her family too. A whole other list of relative of second aunts, uncles, and cousins. Then i started meeting all the same in my dads family too. Then when i became adult i'd get a job and met another distant relative. Well into my 30' i was still meeting some distance relative from either my mothers or fathers family as well as my grandfathers family. I moved from there a few years ago and dont live close enough to go visit. I live over 1,000 miles away. Just my son, daughter and grandchildren are living close to me.


myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

Not confused? So, you know relationships better..
So, you meet all your relatives till you shifted your place..
That's great.
Also, you have more memory power. thumbup

Have a nice day.

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43. myLot reputation of 89/100. aerous (2213)   ranked 1,703 out of 23,311 in relationships   4 months ago

I have many relative in our province but I don't remember them all. There is a society of our relatives that all from two person. They establish that to preserve our ancestor and all of those future generation will know each other. But I'm not always present in the event every year that Is why I don't know all of them.

Sometimes I counter people that happen to be my relatives. When they ask my surname and ask where I cam from. They are the to say, I am your relatives. I am happy to know that they are the one to introduce their self.

Have a nice day to, my friend


myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

Hi aerous,

Wow! a society to preserve the ancestor.. Really nice, We too have a society for our community, just like you i too avoid it.
Yes, just like for you, they introduced them to me by just asking who i am. Just confused with what he said. lol

Have a nice day.


myLot reputation of 89/100. aerous (2213)   ranked 1,703 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

Yup! My friend that society will help each other in terms of many things. But unfortunately, some members of the family will be in different location of the world. You can be register as members when you are married. And need to pay a contributions every time there is a member in that society enter into marriage. This was the rule in our family organization. That collected money will be given to husband and wife as a start of their family life.

That how our family organization hold and love their family. They don't like family member is gone. We always see to it that we are relatives and from one root...have a nice day!


myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

That's great. thumbup


myLot reputation of 89/100. aerous (2213)   ranked 1,703 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

Thanks for the appreciation of our ancestors, my friend. How's your relative being manage to maintain relationship of each of the family members?


myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

Our previous generation has better contact with relatives. My parents know all the relatives. Only i don't know. We all meet in such functions. We meet them at their marriage or other functions and also they attened ours..


myLot reputation of 89/100. aerous (2213)   ranked 1,703 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

Good to know about that, my friend. We almost have the same customs. Isn't because we are Asian?


myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

Yes, We both are from Asia. I guess most of the Asian countries having similar types of customs with a little difference.. happy
thumbup


myLot reputation of 89/100. aerous (2213)   ranked 1,703 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

I think so,my friend. Because if you observe Asian, people it seems that similar each other. Then history were both from one root. What country do you belong my friend?


myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

I am from India..


myLot reputation of 89/100. aerous (2213)   ranked 1,703 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

I see.

I'm from the beautiful country of the Philippines. There's a lot of Indian, here in our country. In history, my friend. Indian people also one of the old ancestor here and they are in the province of Rizal.

Indian, people here is not different as Filipino's.

Have a nice day!


myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

So, indians are the ancestors of your country. That's nice to hear about it.

I thought phillipines was one of the Chrisitan Country...


myLot reputation of 89/100. aerous (2213)   ranked 1,703 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

They are one, my friend. As far as I know, after the world war II. Some of this Indian soldier that is belong to British company Army. They prefer to stay, in that place i just said to you. Most Indian stay here in the Philippines, know how to speak our different dialect and languages here. They know to speak Tagalog, our national language.

Have a nice day!


myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

Wow! Then we are so close in the culture for sure.
Thanks for sharing those info about your country. Really knew something new..

Have a great day friend.. thumbup


myLot reputation of 89/100. aerous (2213)   ranked 1,703 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

happy to share with you those things, my friend. We are Asian, and I believe we must uphold those history in our ancestors.

Wish to have with you another conversation again that share anything that really interest us. have a nice day!


myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

thumbupHope to meet you soon in other discussions.. thumbup


myLot reputation of 89/100. aerous (2213)   ranked 1,703 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

I hope so that, my friend. Since you are my adding friends here. We can possibly soon across in a discussion and exchange a good conversation like this. Thanks for the time, you spent to me and for all the good words you share to me in this discussion. Have a nice day, my friend..take care


myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

happyHave a nice day. thumbuprolleyes


myLot reputation of 89/100. aerous (2213)   ranked 1,703 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

Wish be as wonderful as my days will be with you always...have a great day!


myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

Hi friend,
Today i am so late to login in here.
Have a nice day.. thumbup


myLot reputation of 89/100. aerous (2213)   ranked 1,703 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

Don't mind about if you late login or not. The important things is that you express sincere appreciation and grateful to me...take care and thanks!


myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

happy


myLot reputation of 89/100. aerous (2213)   ranked 1,703 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

Okay! just make another discussion So that I will be participate again, my friend. I don't have any idea on what to write so I prefer to response from any discussion...Hope you make another that really inspired us again...have a nice day!


myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

Hi aerous,happy

I am making new discussions daily. May be you missed them. If you see my profile and click the discussions i have started, you can see my started discussions. There is lot of them which is sometimes useful and sometimes funny. Hope to meet you in those discussions.. happy

Have a great day. thumbup


myLot reputation of 89/100. aerous (2213)   ranked 1,703 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

You right, my friend. Perhaps, I miss some of your discussion because I only reply discussion sent to my by mylot. But don't worry I will visit your profile sometimes...Sorry for not attending all your discussion my friend. I wish I could but i miss out...beg your pardon about this things...have a nice day!

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44. myLot reputation of 98/100. Humbug25 (4101)   ranked 214 out of 23,311 in relationships   4 months ago

Hi dbutheking

I don't have a very big family so it is not so confusing to me at all but when I was with my ex-husband he would take me to visit his family. He had a very big family and I would ask him how this person was related to him and he couldn't even tell me himself. We used to spend most of our holiday there visiting people.


myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

Hi Humbug,

So, you spend your holidays in a very useful way by visiting people. That's great.
I also know my immediate relatives and cousins very well, it is confusing during the next levels only..

Have a nice day.

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45. myLot reputation of 66/100. xianxian54 (117)   ranked 9,915 out of 23,311 in relationships   4 months ago

I don't relate too often with my relatives. Actually this happens to me as well, just one day one unknown relative jumped up, and starts to explain who he is, but you are confused, since you never know him or just saw him on some other relatives party. But i know in China, there was the traditon to gather the extended family members together for the special moments, such as Chinese new year, or Mid-autumn festival. But i think now the new generation less relate to their relatives, instead they relate to classmates or friends, because they think they have more things in common and share more common interest together.


myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

Yes, such type of gatherings make us know who our relatives are and keeping in touch..
Have a great day. thumbup

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46. myLot reputation of 96/100. Sissygrl (5760)   ranked 471 out of 23,311 in relationships   4 months ago

My head is spinning lol. I have a lot of cousins i've never met. i'm sure i've met all my aunts and uncles, but some only a handful of times. My mother is the baby of 9 children on her side. and my father is the eldest on my fathers side. I am apart from my fathers side of the family. I dont know any of my cousins. my father passed away, and the short story is, we dont speak. I am a little sad my kids wont know their cousins and second cousins. but.. i guess taht's how it goes when you have a big family that's too busy all the time!


myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

Hi sissy,

Yes, my parents know the relationships well, but when it comes to me, it was really confusing. It is always a big problem in the big family..

Have a great day. thumbup

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47. myLot reputation of 82/100. sugarlen (111)   ranked 4,527 out of 23,311 in relationships   4 months ago

So as not to get confused, all you have to say is you are related... whether first, second, third degree... that is life... try to join the geni tree so that it will be easier to understand relationships more... have a great day!


myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

Hi sugar,

Yes, I know they are related. But when it comes how they are related is little confusing. What is geni tree?

Have a great day. thumbup


myLot reputation of 82/100. sugarlen (111)   ranked 4,527 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

It is a website where you create a family tree and invite your relatives to join you who in turn builds up their respective family tress. email ad is geni@geni.com


myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

That's a good idea to have a website for our own family.

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48. myLot reputation of 92/100. MsTickle (8946)   ranked 1,068 out of 23,311 in relationships   4 months ago

We tend to keep things pretty simple. I might invite cousins from my father's and my mother's side to a party or something but my mother's cousins will not invite my father's cousins.

Come to think of it, it does get pretty confusing... lol


myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

Hi MsTickle,

We can invite only the close relationships for those family parties. As your mother's cousins won't invite father's cousins definitely there won't be much contact with them. In this case, their childrens get confused with the relationships..

Have a great day.. thumbup

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49. myLot reputation of 33/100. AKMEDIA2 (325)   ranked 7,823 out of 23,311 in relationships   4 months ago

Those types of relationships and second cousins and third cousins really confuse me. I get lost past immediate and first cousins,, aunts, uncles and that type of relationship.


myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

Hi Akmedia,

Yes, when it comes to the second and Third level of relationship. It becomes confusing. The main reason for all these is that when after marrying they become seperated and living little longer from the family. Also, this relationship have contacts with the immediate relationships but lost contacts with disctant relationships.

Have a great day,. thumbup

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50. myLot reputation of 100/100. tigeraunt (888)   ranked 2,010 out of 23,311 in relationships   4 months ago

hello,
am sure that kind of introduction would really make your head spin. lol you will end up scratching your un-itchy head.
some explanations will really make you confused. i have had some sort of experience also while i was in the province. that is how they introduce people.. "this is petra, the sister of the mother of someone who is the neighbor of maria... etc." and i ended up analizing what i was told. wasnt able to figure out and have gotten tired of figuring.
once a year our family have reunion and that is when the fun begins. rolleyes
have a great day as well.


annhappy


myLot reputation of 90/100. dbutheking (319)   ranked 2,691 out of 23,311 in relationships  4 months ago

hahaha..
Yes, really i cant understand his introduction. Finally, i told politely who i am for you.. lol
Whenever the family reunion this fun is always there as most of the elders have know them but we don't know them..
I was avoiding the weddings as i have the college and school now. So, i am not confused. As, it was my sisters marriage, i can't give excuses. In that way, i was caught by the confusion..hehe..

Have a great day.. thumbup

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