I wanted an opinion on an opening paragraph for an article.

Your first paragraph should include the key words "instill good discipline" preferably in the first sentence. Also, your second sentence seems too long, is a bit awkward, and probably should include quotes if it is taken directly from those sources. You want your last paragraph to be a lead in the next one so that people don't stop reading and to maintain the flow. Perhaps as someone else mentioned this is a second paragraph.

I can tell you how you can discipline in a positive way. Read my helium article on passive student discipline. On the personal level, having discipline or behaving with discipline means you can measure yourself and make good choices. As far as kids go, it means having the discipline to keep your room clean or do your homework. Disciplining a child positively means communicating positively. See the books "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen," and "How to Talk so Kids Will Learn." It's all about how you present it. Is this a helium article? Cause you may get some competition on this one :-)

Well, everyone has given you their two cents, and you have leapfrogged it already, but if you are like Trensue, maybe you will want to leapfrog it again in the near future. Basically I agree with Scheng. I think you want to keep the definitions and dictionaries out of the first paragraph. (Snore) Maybe you want to start with something like: "It may sound contradictory to talk about positive discipline, but there is more than a single way to discipline. Discipline isn't simply about punishment, but about creating good behavior in a way that teaches your child good lessons and positive character growth. Yada Yada Yada." As we all know from being kids ourselves, there is discipline that hurts and makes you resentful, and then there is learning lessons so you grow up to have good manners and a happy life. Not all parents know how to discipline well or understand the boundaries of not hurting their children or damaging them psychologically. I don't really think that it's a contradiction to talk about positive discipline, but I can see why some might say that. My parents, for example, never had to ground us or beat us with a belt. Yet friends of mine have been traumatized by their childhoods and the discipline meted out. It's all in how well or badly it's been done by their parents. Whoa...I didn't really intend to go into all that. I was just trying to get those dang dictionaries out of the way. LOL Good luck and keep leapfrogging!

Hi Mommaj, I think this should be the second paragraph. The first paragraph is to grab attention, so it's not wise to bring out all the dictionaries! You are putting people to sleep with your dictionaries. Unless you want to write about using dictionaries to knock their heads "to instill discipline." Try using questions for the first paragraph. "Do you discipline your children? Are you against the idea of disciplining your children?"

Hi MMJ, I am thinking hard to respond to this but what comes to my mind is this one..."a friendly way to get a positive response from -----------huh i think i need some more minutes to think about my line of thinking... please bear. i will get back to you mom.