The Body: You did the crime, now it's time.

What roomie? I already killed her and mailed the body to Scotland...

It doesn't matter how annoying she is...I am in a total zone to convince her and others of my innocent insanity. First, I am the hoverfly in disguised, a deadly wasp waiting...second, I put up with all the nonsense of the pecking order, ignoring all and it's the quiet ones that intimidate for one never knows, aloof, and confident but never losing control, always with a deadly stare (and rumors of a black belt in martial arts) will keep all a distance away from me outside of the cell. Now inside the cell, I must utilize all avenues to enable myself a good defense. First take the annoying cellie and start to spin the web of deceit, I begin to talk to myself, mumbling at first, then gradually I introduce myself to my cellie each morning as a different person, different gender, perhaps, demanding that I do not belong here unless prisons have gone co-ed, then turn about and ask for pretty dresses and nonsensical things using different accents and different languages, and I will "switch" to the different persons depending on the situation, always keeping in character, my sole goal is to deceive and yes, I'm going to go for the multiple personality disorder defense...and my cellie will naturally attest to how she has shared a cell with 5 different people housed in the same body....and always in my mind I will know I need to pay her back for being so annoying...but if she ends up being useful perhaps she will escape becoming mummified.

I think I'm going to have to use some of the methods from Prison Break series.. . Certainly going to give me an idea or two..

The only roomie i have is my dog & she has been driving me nuts lately. I'm not going to take her w/me if i have to get a cell, lol.

an irritating cellie? how about a deluded ego on legs who can't stop gassing on about all the crimes she's committed that she thinks make her a mastercriminal (either incredibly pathetic and dull or obvious fabrications). now i am a mastercriminal (don't know how i have ended up in here mind you) but cannot tell her all about my genuinely impressive dastardly deeds because she is guaranteed to blab. i think i would witter back to her about how i have let jesus into my life now, without ever shutting up about it whether she is listening or not. if she blabs about this it could only help my defence. i think i might also be able to get a bible to read aloud to her from start to finish every night. in a monotone.

i think this guy has got something in his head now, at night when i sleep he seems to scrap bits off the concrete wall behind the huge billy connelly poster... he is quiet and does it so smoothly, i will pretend i dunno anything and wait for just the right time, of course here billy connelly's moustache is coloured pink so no one can notice what is going on behind it!... the last thing i want to encounter on the other end of the tunnel would be a blue bunny!

I'm on edge here... I don't know how much I can stand this... I don't have a cell roomie. Here, we have more cells, and it's the guy across the hallway that's putting me to my grave... We have no doors - just bars, so we can see and hear each other. Probably wondering what's the torture he's slowly submitting me too... Well... he's tap dancing He even has a white hat and a crane he uses... It's an older thin guy, kinda like Mahatma Gandhi, and his most irritating number end with him sliding away from view and flushing his toilet. I mean, isn't the tap dancing enough? Does he really have to waste the planet's resources? (DISCLAIMER: If anyone is such a cartoon fan that he/she recognizes the scenario, you are right - you've seen it before. This course of action happens in a Time Squad episode. The guy doing all the tap dancing is really Mahatma Gandhi)

My used to be cellmate was too congenial and at times I felt like slapping her. She would seep in the poison as if she was a sponge. She would never protest and her smile was beautifully full of pathos. Now, I was highly influenced by her. She kinda inducted this in me as well. But I really wanted badly to come out of it. Sometimes you really have to put your foot down.

she's singing "vanilla ice" tunes.and if she does it again,she's getting my toothbrush in her eye.

I think I missed something here. They have computers in prison now? Somebody on mylot is a murderer?

hi thea oh my my cell roomie also has a blender, how she snuck it past the guards is beyond me, oh no, maybe I brought it in, maybe that was how I got rid of the body, I whacked her over the head with it cause she talked in the middle of the night one too many times and I lost my cool. So anyway my roomie plays with the thing whenever the guard is not around distracting me from my defense plans,I thought it was the perfect crime as she was in a wheel chair and somehow it went zooming out into traffic, I only gave it a tiny push. anyway it was just an accident, so why am I here. I have the blender so they don't know I whacked her over the head, yet maybe they did get the blender and this is one my new roomie here snuck in. oh my this all makes my head hurt.

Well, since I'm in the US (for once it's great being American LOL) I am not sitting in prison. At the worst I would be sitting in county lock up which I would have more than just 1 roomie, I would have many, so I'm sure that someone else would be just as irritated and probably kill them before I got a chance. But, since the body was never recovered I would probably bond out and not be in for more than a day or two.

Me? Well, I've no cell mate to annoy or be annoyed by. I did the first day, but then I got moved after a short visit with the warden....and his wife. We mostly sleep in late, golf in the afternoon and have cocktails at 6, and then dinner (always catered). My lawyers? very prestigious firm: W.E. Ghettemoff,I. Buyemoff, & B.L. Ackmail and associates I should be back from club fed shortly, I will miss Mrs warden when I leave

Hi thea, my cell roomie - well not really cell roomie but house roomie - is my papa, and he can really collect piles of unnecessary letters, papers, tools, newspapers, defunct gadgets, you name it, we have it. Just dont know where it is, but I am sure you will find it in this junk yard. LOL. But I love him for all that. When he asks something his face looks so cute like a dog puppy, I haven't the heart to blow my top, though that is what I should be doing. :)