Is It Wrong to Feel Happy While Depressed???
By LadyMarissa
@LadyMarissa (12148)
United States
November 23, 2009 5:22pm CST
http://talk.baltimoresun.com/showthread.php?s=235dcb8fd1dd570819c1aa3efae4c7b3&p=5506873#post5506873
A Canadian woman on long term sick leave from her job posted pictures of her & her boyfriend having a good time. She even had the nerve to smile for the camera!!! Someone from the insurance company saw her having a good time & turned her in. Now the insurance company has STOPPED her payments saying her depression is over. Anybody who has ever suffered from depression know that just ain't so!!! While going through some of my deepest depressions, I have had some of my biggest laughing fits!!! It's more like being Manic-Depressive. You're still extremely depressed & NO where near over your depression. I know a lot of people here are on disability. Do you worry about what you say here, or on Facebook, or on Myspace??? Do you fear losing your disability in exchange for new friendships??? What are your thoughts here???
3 people like this
12 responses
@hvedra (1619)
•
24 Nov 09
this is just the insurance company trying to get out of paying. As you said, depression is a very complex illness and people can have good and bad days throughout their most depressive episodes.
This is, however, one of the reasons I don't have a Facebook account and my Myspace page is not in my real name and only used to keep up with bands that I like. I'm not claiming anything but even so, I don't like the idea of just *anyone* snooping around my life.
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
24 Nov 09
If the ONLY evidence that they used was the photographs then they acted hastily and without full command of an understanding of what depression is about. Frankly this sort of thing doesn't surprise me. Unless you have had some experience of depression yourself, it is all too easy to think that it means just feeling a little "miserable". The reality is that it can be devastating for many, and something that many sufferers never completely rid themselves of. After two years and the help of myLot members I am starting to climb out of mine. But I know that it takes very little to knock me back. I don't claim benefits so I have nothing to lose in that respect. But I do know that there are people that say "P1ke doesn't seem depressed". Like they KNOW!!!!
2 people like this
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
24 Nov 09
WELCOME BACK lil one!!! Well, I must agree...you don't seem depressed. However, I DO know that has absolutely NOTHING to do with it!!! When I was at my worst, I laughed ALL the time!!! As a matter of fact, the happier I appeared, the more depressed I was in reality!!! I'm hoping that right will prevail in this case. I find it sad that the insurance company would prefer to pay lawyers large sums of money to keep from paying the disabled a small bit of money. Both are a business write-off so it doesn't make sense to me!!!
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
23 Nov 09
I have just read about this and I think it is totally wrong I really hope she fights it
Maybe those kind of People need to experience it before they know what it is all about that it can hit you at any time, that it is not predictable, that the slightest thing can set it all of and throw you over the edge
No I do not fear because I have medical records to back me up and I am not doing anything wrong at all just like this Woman wasn't
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
24 Nov 09
She has medical records too, Gabby. Her doctor had told her to go off work due to the severe depression that she suffers. Her boyfriend took her to a party & she enjoyed herself for a change!!! I'm sure that was the first time she had felt good in years. She then posted her happiness on Facebook & some underpaid clerk who hates their job saw it & turned her in. So, the insurance company saw a way out to save a few measly bucks. They hope she doesn't have the money to fight it & they will be able to stop paying her. She is NOT the first that this has happened to & it will be happening to MORE!!! So, those receiving disability should be careful what they say online or it could come back to bite them on the asss!!!
@nangel78 (1454)
• United States
24 Nov 09
That is not cool about the insurance company doing that. They do not know what is going through her mind and how she feels. You can still laugh while being depressed. It happens. Insurance is all about money. That is why they stopped the payments. If they can save a buck, they will do it. It stopped being about people's health and about the money which is not cool.
1 person likes this
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
25 Nov 09
Unfortunately, you are correct. It's ALL ABOUT THE MONEY!!!
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
24 Nov 09
It's insane that's what I think. It reminds me of what I went through with my mother. She too suffered from depression among other problems and was going to a psychiatrist for five years. The main problem was that she didn't sign a proxy to allow me any intervention...I couldn't speak to the therapist at all. In about two years before she was diagnosed with esophageal cancer she started a bulimic thing. I tried to get in contact with her doctors, therapist, social worker, everyone, but because she didn't sign that darn proxy no one would acknowledge what I had to say. I even wrote a letter to the Executive Director of the hospital where she was an outpatient and where her therapist was...all I got back was a short letter "Due to the Hipaa Privacy Laws we may not discuss your mother's clinical care with you. Thank you for sharing your concerns with us." Big deal. It later turned out the reason for her bulimic behavior was due to her tumor in her esophagus. Now if someone had listened to me sooner, they would have investigated whether the bulimic episodes was psychological or physiological. In the last few months of her life she FINALLY signed a proxy...you better believe I went with her to her therapist and explained about her depression problems...know what the jerk said? "Your mother doesn't look very depressed to me." My mother is sitting next to me with this big smile on her face. You mean he was making a diagnosis that my mother wasn't depressed all because she was smiling? Give me a break
2 people like this
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
24 Nov 09
While in the midst of one of my more depressed moments, my boss's wife ask me what was wrong. I commented I guess I'm depressed. She roared in laughter & asked What the hell you got to be depressed about??? I decided she was too ignorant to worry with, so I walked out & went back to work. I would have been fired had I said what I was thinking!!! 
@bucketkid (237)
• Australia
26 Nov 09
this is disgusting. it makes me sick.
i mean, smiling is something that is encouraged while a person is recovering to help them feel better, and feel ok about feeling better.
smiling doesnt mean that someone is depressed anymore.
if she is off on sick leave or disability or whatever, surely there is a consulting doctor that can explain this!
this reminds me of when you try to tell someone that you have depression and they say something like: "no, youre always happy" or "but you always smile" and what they dont know is that that is what YOU LET THEM SEE.
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
26 Nov 09
I agree. Few people on disability have a fortune to survive on. To be forced to pay a doctor to prove she is still unable to work is deplorable in my eyes!!! As an earlier responder pointed out, the insurance company claims they have more compelling evidence than just the Facebook page. I'd expect them to claim no less!!! When this goes to court & ALL the evidence is heard, if the insurance company does not have the evidence they claim, I feel the insurance company should have to reimburse her for the doctor bills!!! I have taken care of several disabled young ladies. On a good day, the average onlooker would see little to nothing wrong with them. However, living with them & watching the struggle, I know it was the opposite!!!
@cutepenguin (6430)
• Canada
26 Nov 09
well, that's pretty excessive. I mean, being depressed in general does not necessarily mean the same thing as being gloomy and sad all of the time. This is a pretty unsympathetic insurance company.
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
24 Nov 09
It should be illegal!!! Anybody who has ever had a bout of depression would understand. I despise insurance companies who happily take our money in premiums as a gamble we will never need to use their services. Then, when we do need them, they refuse to make payout for some ridiculous reason. This woman did absolutely NOTHING wrong!!!
1 person likes this
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
24 Nov 09
Hi LadyM,
Just what do these people know about depression, do they want you to always look miserable all the time, yes you might smile and laugh but you are dying inside and there is nothing you can do, I am a disable person but it is not shown outward, you can't see my disablity but I have it, that is the reason my doctor forced me to leave my job in the first place and it does p**s me off when people think there is nothing wrong you, do we have to have it stamp on our foreheads? not long ago I was istting on a bus where it says for elderly and disable and someone made a rude remark at me, so the bus driver stopped the bus and had a go the this person as the bus driver knows that I am disableed, that shut her up, so yo9u can't see depression and I don;t think these people are right to do this to the woman, if I was her I'll go back to the doctors and then sue the b*****ds.
Tamara
1 person likes this
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
24 Nov 09
I do understand tamara. Over the years I have taken care of several disabled young ladies that in looking at them you'd see nothing wrong with them, but they could not meet the physical demands of day to day life & were surely unable to work!!! One in particular worked very hard to get past her disability. Being very young, she hated walking with a cane.I met her at a local restaurant one evening & she had parked in a handicap space so she'd be close to the front door & not have to use her cane. When I was with her, she held onto me so sh didn't have to use a cane. She knew I was there & she got out of the car & worked her way toward the front door feeling pride that she was doing it on her own. A lady walked out of the restaurant & attacked her telling her she wasn't allowed to park in the handicap places because those spaces were for the truly disabled. Just as I got to my girl, the other lady was shoving her back to her car. It was like pushing a 18 month old toddler that was just learning to walk. I caught her just as she was falling. I sat her down on the curb & lit into the idiot like a crazy woman. I read her the riot act & then educated her as to what disability really is even pointing out that being an idiot should qualify her for disability. By the time I finished, she was apologizing to my friend & helping me get her back up off the curb. She helped me get her inside & to a seat. I invited her to join us as I felt she needed to understand more. She watched as my friend tried to hold her fork & watch as she struggled to get the food to her mouth. She saw that it was almost impossible for her to cut her meat. She saw first hand how hard it was for my friend to hold onto a train of thought. She then helped me get her back to the car. Once her body got tired, she had a hard time walking anymore. So, as this woman helped me get my friend back to the car, she really found out how hard this girl was fighting to keep going. My fiend had moments that she could walk 10 miles & then suddenly she couldn't take a step. We took her to my car as I feared she couldn't drive back home. The woman offered to drive my friend's car home for us asking if I'd return her to her car. Once at my house, she helped me get her in the house. My friend hugged her neck & thanked her for being so kind. The woman cried like a baby & apologized for how she had acted in the beginning. My friend looked her in the eye & said I'm blessed. Few can see my disability. I'm the only one who struggles with it. Then she hugged her new friend once again & I took her back to her car. She had a million questions on the ride back. She truly felt bad for the way she had treated my friend. I told her that she had been forgiven by both of us & asked her to be a disability angel. To point out to others that just because you can't see the pain, it doesn't mean it's not there!!! I'm glad you had your disability angel with you on the bus!!!
1 person likes this
@zhuhuifen46 (3483)
• China
24 Nov 09
I read about the news, and feel sorry for the lady. I think everybody has the right to adjust his or her feelings especially while depressed. Depression could be caused by biological psycological and social factors, and it could hardly be cured without social assistance. Insurance companies find all excuse to evade from their responsibilities. She should find legal assistance to fight for her entitlement.
1 person likes this
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
24 Nov 09
I hope a GOOD lawyer has contacted her & offered to assist her. Few people on disability have the funds to hire a lawyer. That is what the insurance company hopes for anyway!!!She can't fight them without help!!!
@DarkMarixx (331)
• Philippines
24 Nov 09
There's nothing wrong to be happy but I can't feel happy and depressed at the same time. I can't think if it's wrong or right but the best way for me to take over my depression into happiness is to have a partner who can change my mood and make me happy as well.
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
24 Nov 09
When I was at my worst, I'd be sitting there laughing with tears running down my cheeks from the great sadness & pain I was feeling inside!!! I could go from uncontrollable laughing to uncontrollable crying in less than one second!!! It felt like I was running into a brick wall at full speed!!!
1 person likes this
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
6 Oct 10
Laughter is best medicine to all disease so as the depression. It will through the pressure in mind and lightens it and feel happy.
