Have you lost an In-Law?

It was my father-in-law in 2004. He drove up here from Los Angeles (we were still living down there) and I stayed with the children. The week later we all went up for the memorial service.

Hi kats. Yes, I have. I lost my father-in-law back in August 2008. Like you, I had to stay behind and watch the kids. Fortunately we had the funds (thanks to the stimulus check) to be able to send my husband there. We just didn't have enough for all four of us to go. My husband didn't even want to use the money at first. We had been saving it so that we could get an engine for our car. We had been planning on it for months as the darn thing was in desperate need of one. However, that all changed as soon as we found out that my father-in-law was sick in the hospital. I was telling my husband to go see his dad (I was actually pleading with him to) and to hell with the expense. He finally agreed and he was going to fly out the next day, but unfortunately my father-in-law passed away that very morning. My husband couldn't being himself to fly out the day his father passed away. So we scheduled his flight for the day after so he could be with the rest of his family during this sad time. It was terribly hard on all of us. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. My husband was only going to stay there a couple of days, but ended up staying even longer. I, along with the kids, missed him something awful and I felt bad that I couldn't be there by his side. I felt even worse when I found out a few days later that one of his uncles was willing to pay for me and the kids to fly out there. Believe me, I was so tempted! I knew it wasn't possible for me to do that alone though. Not when one of my kids is autistic, especially with me being such an emotional wreck at the time. So, I declined the very kind offer and cried some more once I got off the phone. It's so strange, it feels almost like yesterday. I can't believe that it's been almost 2 years now...

I sort of know how you feel. My husband lost his sister in a car accident when we first started dating. I actually didn't realize how I felt about him till then. Our group of friends had come home from the fair and as we were walking down the alley to the house we saw his cousins standing there crying. (They lived next door). They told him what happened and I can still see the shocked/hurt look on his face. I don't think I'll ever forget it. We were just dropping him off, I had to be home so I couldn't stay. I didn't want to leave. I cried the whole way home. I wasn't sure what to say or do to help him with it either. I still have a hard time figuring out what to say to people to help them feel better. I don't have the best relationship with my in laws either. I hope that your husband won't have regrets. It's a shame she didn't see her grandkids but she made her bed. She treated you badly and was insulting.

I don't have any in-laws to lose, so no. Had she been sick for awhile or was this something sudden? I am sorry for your family's even though you were not close to her.

hie katsmeow, life is like a mist. its like a fleeting shadow. today here, tomorrow gone. really we dont know when. i have lost my parents in laws years ago due to old age. they lived a good life and we did our best for them. carry on in life and dont let regrets messed you up. she was your mum in law and you respected and honoured her such. you did what a daughter in law should do. i know it hurts as we are just humans and we always think we can do better than what we did. well its over. we did do our lot. bless her as she had gone home to her Creator. all of us will be healed with time. we carry on our lives, be the best parents we can be and teach our children to honour and respect us parents and all will be well with them. take care and God bless..