A law question for my family  

I think that you have every right to decide who brings up your children and who you choose to associate with. Especially as your husband is obviously being supportive, I think you should get good legal advice on how to prevent the other guy from intruding on your and your children's lives.

A marriage counsellor might be the first person to see. They will certainly have some experience of situations like yours and if they don't have the knowledge of what to do themselves, will be able to direct you to a good lawyer. The other guy is clearly being threatening and controlling and emotionally abusing. It shouldn't be too hard to get a court order to stop him from interfering in your life.

a very complicated situation indeed!

i would suggest that you stay away for a while. be with your self, be in a peaceful environment, stay away from people who has direct connection with you for a while, this would give you time to think, a space to breath, a time to weight things before making any major decision. and most of all this is good for your baby. pregnancy is a time where a mother is at peace with herself, emotionally stable, and should be secured with affections from people surrounding her, because whatever a woman feels while being pregnant affects the baby inside her.

take care of the baby inside you by taking care of yourself...

good luck and God Bless...

I think there are a number of things to consider here.

I'm not sure which country you are in, but you should find out what the law says about the DNA and paternity situation in your country. Here in the UK we have the Citizens Advice Bureau. Anyone can go there to get advice for free. Is there an agency like this where you live? It's not just about you. There are repercussions you havent considered here. What about the right of the child to know who their biological father is?

Secondly, I think that it's unlikely that any judge would automatically award custody to this other guy. He's trying to scare you. Can you imagine the fight he would have to do this. He would have to prove that you aren't capable of caring for the child. He's way out in front there. He's trying to scare you. It's not that easy.

Thirdly, you need to sort things out with your husband. Does he know you were seeing someone else? Does he know that he may not be the father? Is he prepared to spend his life bringing up the child. It's a big commitment. Saying that you realised you were missing him doesn't sound like such a great reason for a lifetime's commitment. There must have been some reason why you split up in the first place. Has it been resolved?

Finally, and still very important, you need to find a way of relaxing. All the stress is not good for you and it's not good for the baby. There are lots of techniques you could use. You have a support team ready to help. Your midwife and doctor should be able to help with this one, but until you resolve the other problems it's going to be difficult.

I wish you all the best with your new family and I hope the issues are soon resolved.

LillyBelleDaisyRose,

Honestly, I would advise that you seek some form of legal counsel here. You can begin by looking for legal aid in your state and start from there.

I am not sure if this link is relevant and be of help to you but you can have a try and see where it brings you.

Ref:
http://intraspec.ca/law_resources.php

On top of this, I feel that you should be communicating this with your husband and let him know about the whole matter before everything comes upfront without his knowing and shock the heck out of him.

The both of you may need to do it in the presence of a professional marriage counselor, so that there will not be a possibility of getting perspectives on the wrong and escalate.

Hope this will be of help to you. Take care.

I got pregnant with my youngest daughter while still not divorced from my husband. We'd been separated for a long time and I just hadn't done the paper work mainly because of financial reasons. Anyway, my daughter was born and my boyfriend was unable to sign the birth certificate. Why? Because I was still legally married. I was told that it did not matter WHO the father was but as long as I was married, my husband was legally responsible for the child unless he signed paperwork signing off parental rights. your boyfriend has no say in this at all. Ignore him and if he persists, get a restraining order on him. There is not a judge in the world that would give him custody over your baby and definitly not the other kids. By the way, you do have a fantastic husband. I am assuming that he knows all this and is still willing to raise this child? You got a keeper...be good to him.

It may vary from state to state, but from my understanding of it since you are married your husband is assumed to be the father and by law you have to put HIS name on the birth certificate. Once the original birth certificate is printed this ex of yours might be able to take you to court to get paternity established and get his name on the birth certificate and visitation.

God damn! Dont you know who the father is ma lady? get a DNA test and let the father of the kid sign the papers since he has all the rights in the world to do so.Just donating his semen is not the whole job of the father right?

on the other hand you can tell one of them or both of them who ever signs the paper will have to bare all the expenses including labor and rearing of the child. take chances.Don't worry the mother has all rights to decide who the father is ! You need to be braver and stand up for yourself and tell your husband the truth.Then you would be relieved.

I don't know where you live but check with your police department to find out if you have a legal aid lawyer in your town. Next unless you are a bad mother nobody can take you kids away from you. Your husband, whether he signs the birth certificate or not in the law he is the baby's father. I think what you said abut his hurting you says it all. I bet he really does not want the baby. this is just enough way of hurting you. The only rights he has is to demand a DNA blood test. If he is the father he may have rights to see the baby. Again, in the law your husband is the legal father of the baby. Oh and by the way, let him call the cops. Explain to them what he is doing and I bet they will tell him to stay away.