Do you know your children?

Hi savypat, I agree, it really is quite different today. One of my sons live less than a two hour drive from me, but I see them perhaps four times a year. The other two are much further away and I haven't seen them in about two years. I think that I know them fairly well, but I guess one can never be sure. Blessings.

I know my children, although they are very young yet. But I often wonder how they will be in years to come. I am separated on the way to getting a divorce. And my ex has the children. I miss them when I don't see them. But I hope she does not make them turn out like her. She is very wayward. Like a gypsy in a lot of ways. But she is a good mother. My family is very family oriented and I want my children to be family oriented and close. I know we cannot always have what we want, but I hope they always stay in touch when they are older and on their own.

As a kid I lived in a very big family where we had cousins also either living with us and the rest of the uncles and aunts staying close by. Now with my kids grown up and living on their own I am all alone at home and wait for their visits. I know all about them through their friends or else through their phone calls.

I do see some families that just don't have the time or make the time to spend with their family anymore. Sometimes it is because they now live too far away. Or it might be because they had a falling out at some point in their lives and choose not to be close anymore. I think it also has to do with how the children were brought up when they were young. For instance my husbands parents never did much with him and his brother when they were little, they didn't show much affection or love. He has told me that he doesn't even remember his parents telling him that they love him. Now as an adult, he still isn't very close to them. He talks to them on the phone about once every 2 weeks and we see them maybe 3 times a year even though they only live 45 minutes away. It makes me sad that they choose to live this way but there is nothing more I can do, believe me I've tried.

In my opinion, some parents don't have time to their children.Because all of us need open communication.We must talk all over again because we must know all about the thoughts of the children,what they want attention from us they want our care and love.That is what to build a strong family tight.Its not good that you always have time at work but no time for family bonding.

yeah...i understand you. Although i dont have a child but i have two young sister. They both are a young and as me, we would be living not between my parent again. I know and i can feel, one time i will have my family alone... I hope all of us can be use that occasion to do the best thing. And take care and attention one other. Do it now....

I was born in the 50s and well remember living near my grandparents and my aunts and uncles and cousins. The family was close on both sides and everywhere I went there was someone the family knew. Add friends, both adult and child, to that and I had a community I could trust implicitly spread out over several counties and a couple of states. My sons live clear across the country because I moved back home after my divorce. But we talk several times a week, the three of us are very close. I cannot imagine not having them as a part of my life, not talking to them about everyday things. I'm sorry your daughter chose not to be close, that is a terrible loss. I enjoy hearing how my sons' views change as they go through life. Within the next couple of years I will probably move back to the horrible Southwest since I miss them so much but it will be worth it to be close to them and be able to see them. It is so different today with families scattered all over the place! Children don't have the security of family close by, people that they can trust with their lives and welfare. They seem to have only a parent or two in an area of strangers. I think life is better for children when families live close together. I'll insure that for my grandchildren.

Yes I know my children very well. There good and bad habits, their fears as well. I understand why they do what they do or feel the way they feel. This includes depressions, prefering to be alone and staying in their own creative world. Only with one I have no contact anymore. Not a problem to me since she will always be the one able to take care of herself, live on a high standard, able to abuse people and make them pay for her as well. We are not a family that is sticking together every day of the week (a part is grown up and live their own life) but we share, know where to find eachother and that is what counts. We also don't feel forced to celebrate together (christmas or whatever) but we do discuss that. Same with vacations, who is going when (we take care of eachothers animals) but also meet somewhere in between abroad if we like to. I think there are many ways you can know your child but that doesn't mean you will know your child completely or for 100%. We even can't say that for sure about our partner or our selves. But is that really important?