Why this behavior?

India
December 19, 2011 3:39am CST
I have started renovation work of one of my houses, since than almost every day I have to face quarrels with neighbors. Yesterday it was from a neighbor who lives on the lane on the east of my home, there is no common wall between his home and my home; I talk about walls because here people fight on this issue. I wanted to bring one pipe line connection from this side; it is legally approved connection by the concerned department. But this man on the other side of lane yelled at the workers who came from water supply department, said he will not permit them to work; when I went there; he called me bad names, unparliamentarily nasty words he uttered; when my wife came he yelled at her too. He is a rich man who earns much from money lending at very high rate of interest, is always drunk. It was not he but the alcohol and money in him was speaking I am not in favor of fighting so we withdraw. Again this morning another guy started quarreling telling that his drain was blocked due to broken pieces of brick from renovation work!!! This is not true. There was plastic bags in the drain, any how to remain in peace I got the drain cleaned, I paid for this. In the past also I have faced this issue during renovation works. The reason is jealousy and my simplicity; I wonder why all this, why can’t we live peacefully. Let there be jealousy for good cause. [b]Have you ever faced such things? Please respond and share your valued opinion. Thanks in advance.[/b] Professor ‘Bhuwan’. . Cheers have a lucky day ahead. 19/12/2011
1 person likes this
8 responses
enelym001
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
19 Dec 11
That's such a really bad behavior! I think that is really about jealousy and your neighbors are doing such things on purpose. We are currently having renovation too, which is a little complicated. We bought a small old house in full payment and only renting the land. The one who sold us the house is a different person from the one who owns the lot. We are new in the place that time (about 2 years ago) and every one in the neighborhood know that the land owner is selling the whole lot but no one told us about it even they are asking how much we bought the old house. We ended up having problems with the money because we need to pay the full amount of the lot too for use to fully own it. If we only know it we could have not waste a money to buy the house if the lot is being sold too. But too late so we tried to find a way to buy the land too. Fortunately we managed to get some money, though it was divided with 3 different owners. Now when we have earned soem money we have decided to do the construction. Funny because the construction is done half only. and the remaining half will be continued next year. We are planning on renting out too for a couple of months coz we have little space when the next year's construction started. Now thankfully the neighbors are starting to be good to us. I hope your neighbors will realized what they're doing too.
1 person likes this
Jane
@jaiho2009 (39140)
• Philippines
19 Dec 11
hello en, Sounds really complicated huh, It's like buying a sandwich but you can only take the bread and not the filling :P Next time,check all the papers from DENR before paying the house, to make sure that the houseowner is also the landowner
enelym001
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
19 Dec 11
We are actually fully aware that we have to rent the land. The neighbors and the agent said we will not encounter problems because everyone is renting the land (and owning houses there) for 30 years already. They said it will not be sold at anytime as the owner is in the US. After only a few weeks, we learned that they are asking everyone to move out of that land. Eventually we also learned that all the neighbors there know about it but no one is telling us, it's not because they're shy because they usually talks with my mom and asked a lot of things like where we are living before and some more things. Now we are really thankful at least we won't have to worry about the land. We got our title already
ravisivan
@ravisivan (14082)
• India
19 Dec 11
It depends on one's luck to have a good neighbor. some neighbors envy over others possessions. You have done the right thing in not quarelling further with the neighbor who objected for pipeline being brought on that side of the house. If we analyse deeply we may not fight.
1 person likes this
marguicha
@marguicha (230350)
• Chile
19 Dec 11
Dearest Bhuwan, my friend, I am so happy to hear from you! I did not answer your mail because I had an illness due to my lack of white cells (a byproduct of chemo) and ended up at the hospital. After I got here, I was without much energy, but now I´m much better. In my country, some of the things you tell us happen sometimes. Fortunatly, it does not happen in my neighborhood. I don´t know how much this happens elsewhere. It depends basically on the kind of neighbors. I hope everything is well. My brother brought me some books written by indian authors while I was at the hospital. Even though fiction is just a way to start, it is better than nothing
Jane
@jaiho2009 (39140)
• Philippines
19 Dec 11
hello dada This is very common I guess. I also faced same situation when I had my house renovated 3 years ago. My neighbor told me in advance when he sees construction materials started to be delivered that , I should watch any debris that might fall on their roofs. I just smiled at him and said "don't you worry sir,I will put net all over the working place, is that fine?" Keep smiling dada and hugs to you and maa (^_^)
Jane
@jaiho2009 (39140)
• Philippines
19 Dec 11
hello ravi, I understand about it, falling debris may damaged their roof especially when it's a bit rusty. But,of course,I know my responsibility as well. I ask the supervisor to put net all over the place to avoid issues. good day sir
ravisivan
@ravisivan (14082)
• India
19 Dec 11
This is the case in a few houses where the leaves of one man's tree will fall into another's land. There will be frequent fights about removal of leaves. Same is the case with debris. If we undertake to remove debris - tell our contractor that he should remove properly then there will not be big problems. good day.
1 person likes this
dorannmwin
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
21 Dec 11
I really don't think that there is anyone out here that hasn't had these kinds of problems when they are doing work on their homes. Our big one was the lady on one side of us that complained because our workers were too noisy and she was trying to sleep. The work that we were having done at that time was that we were having new windows put into our home and it has to be done during the day. Well, I had already paid for my windows so I let them do the work. However, that particular neighbor never has a kind word for me.
2004cqui
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
19 Dec 11
Yes, I have encountered this. When we first moved in, we had one dog. Shortly after moving in we bought another. We needed a fence in our back yard. All perfectly legal. We paid a professional surveyor to make sure we would only have our land on our side of the fences.Upon putting up those fences one neighbor called the police and said we were destroying her property. The first thing the police do is check out the paper work on file with the city before going to the call. He left as quick as he could. The other neighbor just glared at us. Both cut the line defining our property before the fences went up. One of them through ant poison into our yard. It's sweet and filled with arsenic. Just the kind of thing dogs love. Over time they both started to be mean to the other neighbors. They asked me what was wrong! I told them exactly what we found. These two neighbors were using two feet of our property. We pay taxes on that land! That was the real reason they were mad at us. They haven't spoke to us since. The rest of the neighbors avoid these people like the plague.
roberten
@roberten (3128)
• United States
19 Dec 11
Professor2010, unfortunately,I believe most everyone has encountered similiar situations. Some people have a tendency to behave like crabs in a bucket: when one crabs manages to near climb out, others will surely pull him back down into the bucket. It is up to us as individuals to decide how we will respond to said situation; our chosen reaction can keep us in the company of crabs or allow us to soar with eagles. Choosing to be the bigger man will truly profit you greatness. Much continued success upon your current renovations.
kalyani1234
@kalyani1234 (637)
• India
19 Dec 11
Hello Professorji, I am very sorry that you have to deal with such neighbors, the world is full of such people who will not lift a finger to help someone or even to do something that would help someone even a wee tiny bit. These type of behaviors mostly come from feelings of inferiority complex, he is probably very jealous about your status and social standing and therefore, will resort to anything to make you feel unnerved or angry! I have experienced similar things in the past, best thing is to ignore them as much as you, within the limits of maintaining your sanity of course, otherwise they deserve a good whack on their *****! Anyway, so not feel let down, it is the dogs who will always bark! Have a cheerful day ahead!:)