I am lower than the dog
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
United States
February 18, 2012 10:19pm CST
Well, maybe I'm not lower than the dog, but sometimes I think that is so. I love my daughter's dog but she is so heavy that she jumps on me and nearly knocks me over. Her paws cut my skin and so do her teeth when she play bites.
I live as a roommate in our home. I wrote a whole bunch but decided to delete it. Some people have written discussions about having a great Valentine's day and talk like it is normal to have someone in their lives to celebrate the day and night with.
Well, normally I will receive a rose on Valentine's day for being the 'queen mother'... but this year I didn't. K got roses and a card and a date out to dinner and the movies... the dog got a valentine heart cookie made with whole wheat flour and beef broth ... she sure did enjoy that too... I got nothing.
I take that back... I did get a Valentine card from my sister friend in Germany... and I got a Valentine wish from my other sister friend from Indiana. Both are Mylot friends.
Do you ever think that you are lower than the dog? There is a whole lot more I could have written... In fact I did write it but deleted it just because it just shows that I don't have a good fit in my family.
To keep the peace, K is putting the dog up if she starts to get too feisty with me. I will leave as soon as I can and go back to my room so the dog can be out. I spend about 20 hours a day in my room. That's not always a bad thing... that's where my computer and TV are... but I generally also fix my food and eat alone in my room unless invited to stay out there with the family. Your thoughts?
6 people like this
12 responses
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
19 Feb 12
Reading your post made me a bit sad :( You should've gotten at least a card or something from your family on Valentine's day. If the dog is worthy of getting something, then you should be too, no exceptions.
I also think that your family should make more of an effort to spend time with you more. I'm not saying they have to be with you 24/7, but it would be nice if you all had a dinner together every once in a while or all sat down to watch tv.
If it gets to a really bad point, maybe try suggesting a day or evening where you all do something together.
I also understand that you want Rosie to be able to be out while everyone's home but she hurts you. Maybe she just needs to be trained not to do those things and when she goes to play bite, you scold her just a little and put her attention on a chew toy or something.
I really hope that things get better for you, you deserve better
2 people like this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
19 Feb 12
Hi Courtknee, yes, she does need to be trained but no one has the money to take classes. I think we should at least learn some stuff on the Net and try it at home. K has to be the one to do it because she is the owner. I would just be 'interfering' if I said anything.
1 person likes this
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
20 Feb 12
I don't think you necessarily need actual classes to train a dog, unless you want all the fancy tricks and your dog being able to sit, stay, lie down on command. But it's definitely possible to teach her a few manners. You're right that it might be considered interfering if you suggested anything, but maybe you could do a little bit of the training yourself when you're interacting with Rosie. If she tries to jump, you can just gently push her down and say either off or down. Even if she goes to do a play bite you can put her attention onto a toy so she knows to bite that instead.
@BarBaraPrz (51811)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
19 Feb 12
I turned 60 yesterday. My friend thought that my family would like to join us for dinner out. Only my cousin and her hubby responded, and actually came. No one even sent me a card. (Never mind valentines.) So you're not alone. But at least I have the run of the house because it's mine, all mine. Except for whatever chair Harmony wants.
1 person likes this
@BarBaraPrz (51811)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
19 Feb 12
Yes, Harmony is my kitty.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
19 Feb 12
Hi BarBarPrz, is Harmony your cat? Your avatar made me think that maybe that is your kitty. This house isn't mine. I lost my home after my divorce. I couldn't keep it up after the divorce. It does suck when you don't even get a card... I get birthday cards every year... and Christmas cards so I am happy for that. I just felt left out when Rosie got her present and K got hers and a card and I got nothing. I don't have a husband or lover so I guess I shouldn't complain... I don't have a valentine... well.. Jesus is my valentine. I'm content with that.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
19 Feb 12
Harmony is a beautiful name for a kitty. I love that.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
19 Feb 12
well I got a valentines card from Matt, he wanted to take me out but I told him the streets are too slippery best we just go out for my birthday that is coming up.
He is the only one that every gives me anything for Valentines Day, Steven doesn't. But if he had a girlfriend he wouldn't do anything for her either.
Before Matt I spent many years alone on Valentines Day that I just stopped caring. Most people seeing valentines day for lovers anyhow.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
20 Feb 12
you know for your life to change you have to do something to make it change,
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
19 Feb 12
Yeah, it's for lovers... but we come on here and people make discussions about their loves and ask what our lovers did for us... and here i am like a fish out of water... anything about love and lovers doesn't apply to me. Maybe one day after I get fixed my life will change. I hope it will.
1 person likes this
@saundyl (9783)
• Canada
22 Feb 12
Awww It sounds like you are rather isolated from your family even living in the same home.
Valentines day can be very lonely for some people. Very heart breaking. I have always gotten a card or a little gift or flowers for my parents (just mom now)on valentines day. And my parents have always given each of us girls a little stuffy or jewelery on valentines. I've never really celebrated Valentines day with a boyfriend before. This year...My BF - hes several hours from me...made sure that he called me first thing in the morning to wish me happy valentines and in the evening we had a "Date" and got to chat together on cam.
Why do you stay in your room all the time?
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
23 Feb 12
I stay in my room because I work on the computer for part of my living, and I watch my TV ... my family and I don't watch the same things. I also give my daughter and her hubby their privacy... he works 14 hours a day and when he gets home he wants to see his wife.
I like it better by myself mostly. My daughter is on the cell phone all day with her hubby while he is at work, so it's kind of hard to have a conversation...so I just stay to myself mostly.
1 person likes this
@chrystaltears (3392)
• United States
20 Feb 12
If you are spending 20 hours a day in your room, I think you need to get out of the house and go and walk in the park or walk in the mall or sit on a bench somewhere and watch nature or get a kick out of people walking by. You may make a good friend by doing so. You will get more people to want to be there for you if you get out and meet some of them. I got a giant kiss from my grandson and that's all, but it's okay, because I know it's because I don't get out. I babysit for my daughter and spend Thursday through Sunday at my mom's, so there aren't alot of people who will be thinking about me on Valentine's Day, but it doesn't bother me.
1 person likes this
@chrystaltears (3392)
• United States
20 Feb 12
Maybe your family will think about it and do something nice for you later.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
20 Feb 12
Most days I'm not able to walk very much. I don't have access to a car, and the nearest park is about a mile away. I just stay on my computer or read or watch TV. I did get out today with the family and we went looking at houses for sale.
1 person likes this
@RitterSport (2451)
• Lippstadt, Germany
27 Feb 12
Dear PQ I sooo feel for you as I have put up with more than a year of absolute disrespect when I spent more time with my bio family for certain reasons. Was not only treated disrespectful in this year and a half of horror but ever before cause no one took me, my decisions plans and hopes serious at all.
I can tell you I would not put up with things like this if I was in your place. I would get out and rather live on bread and butter for the whole month and wreck my glucose levels with this "diet" but not put up with the dog ruining my clothes and being treated as you are by the family.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
27 Feb 12
Things are better now RitterSport... the dog is put up when she starts getting rowdy. She is too strong for me and nearly knocks me over when she jumps on me when I'm walking through that area of the house. I did speak up and told them that the dog ruined a brand new blouse and no one else is going to replace that blouse for me, so something has got to give. So they don't let her get rowdy with me now.
I told them that he is the king and she is the queen and I am the peasant. He said that wasn't so, and I said it was so and has been for a long time. Things are better now that he knows how I feel. I spoke up for myself.
@RitterSport (2451)
• Lippstadt, Germany
27 Feb 12
hi dear PQ, I am so proud of you for speaking up for yourself not only cause your new blouse was ruined but cause of this feeling you are like a peasant. I think you described the situation correct, feel so too when I read your posts.
BTW I read such a great quote
Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.
@KrauseHome (36445)
• United States
19 Feb 12
Personally my friend I really wish I lived closer, as I can relate with what you are going thru, and wish there was more I could do. I know many times it is hard to believe and see you ever feeling down as you have been there many times to lift me up and encourage me when I needed it the most. I think many times other people out there do not realize just how they are treating people, and hopefully one day your family will see this, and want to include you more as well.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
19 Feb 12
I told them how I felt the other night. I told them I was lower than the dog as far as the pecking order. They didn't really want to hear it, but they know I'm right in what I said. They are trying right now to make things a little better for us all. I had to tell them that the dynamics for our house is that I am the lowest person on the totem pole. I said K is the queen, S is the king, and the dog is the princes and I am the powerless child. I used to be able to take care of myself.. I had a good job as a nurse and had vehicles to drive... but that all changed when I became disabled. I have a mental disability also... the doc says I'm fractured which is why I have different personalities that take over during times of stress.
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
23 Feb 12
I don't feel that way now, but I did when I wrote this. There are times when I am the food god, but I've not cooked anything lately... everyone fends for themselves... S likes his canned stew and stuff, and my daughter eats some of my onezies I make that are frozen.. and I make whatever I want. I'm doing low carb so I eat completely different than the family. I want to get some stuff for low carb recipes. I'd love low carb spaghetti and low carb pizza... I found some pizza crust that is 3 grams per serving online.
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
19 Feb 12
omg! I thought i had it so bad. at least my kids do fix things for me sometimes. plus since i pay some of my own bills they know they better do right or im gone. i thought it was so bad for me not to have anyone or anything Valentines day. on FB all my family and friends were stating how great their other half was treating them. i just said, thats good, but i really miss my late hubby John . 
he always did so much for me. btw, my poor daughters bf still isnt working and i dont think she got anything either. i would have been so tickled if he had done something. for her. 
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
19 Feb 12
I know! Some folks here make it sound like it's normal to have a loving partner who showers you with love on Christmas and Valentine's day... and I can't relate to that at all because I have no one. I'm an island in the stream.. there's not even another island close by me... just totally alone. I don't mind being alone most times, but it does get depressing sometimes.
@wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
19 Feb 12
The dog and the humans need training. That is not how a canine family member should behave; that is behavior that your daughter should be discouraging. I would strongly recommend that your daughter enlist the assistance of a good trainer; proper training will help make the dog a better member of the family.
You shouldn't have to hide away in your room. You should be out, interacting with your family. Both you and the dog should be able to be out and about as part of the family--not one getting locked away (figuratively or literally) in order for the other to be out.
1 person likes this
@wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
19 Feb 12
Training isn't cheap, but it isn't terribly expensive either. Classes are cheaper than one-on-one sessions, and they are widely available. If that really isn't within the budget, some quality DVDs and/or books may be helpful; there are some highly ranked books and DVDs out there. However, it does require that your daughter be willing to be trained (yes, the training is as much, or even more so, for the human as it is for the dog); working with a trainer, there is someone giving feedback, which is something that you just can't get from other sources.
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
19 Feb 12
Well, yesterday was better... they put the dog up in her kennel when she got rowdy... The dog likes to jump on you and her nails dig in and rip my clothes or rip my skin. So the dog is put up when she starts being too rambunctious. I agree she needs training... but i doubt that will take place... money is a problem... I think they could learn how to train her online though. She chewed up my new pair of tennis shoes.. I had to buy another pair and I make sure they stay in my room... my daughter borrowed the ones I had before and she kicked them off and then went to sleep... then the dog chewed up my shoes... made me mad that I had to buy a new pair of shoes again.
@sjvg1976 (42727)
• Delhi, India
19 Feb 12
Hello PQ,
Spending 20 hours alone in a room is not good for health too 
you must go out and don't be scared of the dog
.Discuss it with K may be she understands it.BTW why you have been so cut off by your own family members?.Is there any reason?I cannot stay in one room for so long as i need people to talk to.
you must go out and don't be scared of the dog.Discuss it with K may be she understands it.BTW why you have been so cut off by your own family members?.Is there any reason?I cannot stay in one room for so long as i need people to talk to.@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
19 Feb 12
Things are better now. When the dog gets too aggressive they will put her in her pen until she calms down... it's a time out. They give her a treat so she knows she isn't being punished.. but she needs to calm down... so that seems to be working. I want to be able to bond with the dog, but I can't take getting jumped on, scratched or play bitten.
@deodavid (4147)
• Philippines
19 Feb 12
Hi there pointless,
I think that is very wrong, why are you being treated like that in my family even if you have something to do you have to eat with the family, my dad would make sure no phones or interruptions on the meal will come and that everyone is present, i hope you don't feel bad about this saying to your family or the family that you are with but i think that is very rude and not nice i dont like them, for doing this acts.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
19 Feb 12
Things are better today... it goes by streaks here... some days are bad and others are good. things are good right now. The family took me out for a ride today to go house hunting... they are wanting to buy a foreclosed home... we saw one for a short sale for $50,000 .. and it was really nice. It will probably be a couple of years before they actually buy. I would have some of my own space there.
