Yelling In Your Face Or Stabbing You In the Back Which is Worse?
By ladym33
@ladym33 (10978)
United States
April 30, 2012 11:39am CST
You don't have to have watched last night Celebrity Apprentice to participate in this discussion but that is where I got the idea. There are two people on there that acted kind of badly last night. One of them was Lisa Lamanelli who got really fed up with Dayana who was Miss Universe. I don't blame Lisa for getting irritated with her but I don't think she really handled the situation properly, as she cried and yelled and told her off to her face. Another player Aubry who is on the other team pretended to be all happy and cheery and cohesive with her team leader but then when one of the Trumps came in to see how the group was doing she completely bad mouthed her team leader to him. Of course the team leader had no idea and was even praising Aubry for what a good team player she had become, she said several terrible things about him to the camera as well.
At the end of the show Dayana said that Lisa was evil and fake. I think there are other things she could have said about Lisa but evil and fake are not correct. It is Aubry who I feel is evil and fake. Honestly I would prefer Lisa's mean in your face attitude in a co-worker then a back stabber like Aubry who pretends she likes you and then goes and stabs you in the back. To me that is an evil person. At least with an up-front in your face person you know where you truly stand with them. They will tell you exactly what they think of you and then you know how to behave around them or avoid them if need be. With a back stabber you don't how badly they are twisting that knife in your back and making you look bad to others.
What do you think?
3 people like this
13 responses
@albto_568 (1268)
• Costa Rica
30 Apr 12
I don´t know the show you are talking about, but, your initial questions has only onw answer for me, the worse thing is to be stabbed in the back. One can have all type of problems with another person, for countless reasons, but, if discussed face to face, no matter how umpleasant the discussion can turn out to be, in the end, you may either arrange things, wich is by far the best, or, you at least will know that all relations with that person are broken, and you know what to expect from now on. Hipocrites, back stabbers, you don´t know what to expect, you see a big smile in front of you, but, one day, you will realize what they were doing of saying of you behind your back and it is way more painful, I think that we always must try to fix things, or cut and leave behind, but always in front, face to face.
1 person likes this
@ladym33 (10978)
• United States
30 Apr 12
I agree. I have been back stabbed before and it really does hurt. What back stabbers don't seem to realize is somehow the people they are back stabbing always eventually find out. I would rather fight it out with someone and hopefully work out a solution or like you said just avoid them if things can't be worked out.
@albto_568 (1268)
• Costa Rica
30 Apr 12
Things done face to face, will never be as painful as realizing someone, maybe even someone we loved or trust, did or say on our back.
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
30 Apr 12
I'm a sensitive person, and I may not be able to take someone yelling at my face. Perhaps, I'd rather be talked about from behind, and when the news reach me, I'd have time to prepare myself to confront the enemy.
1 person likes this
@GemmaR (8517)
•
30 Apr 12
Well I have always said to my friends that if they have a problem with me for some reason, they should talk about it to my face instead of stabbing me in the back, because I think that I deserve to be told what is going wrong. If they do this, then there is a chance that we would be able to fix things before they got too bad, however I know for a fact that if I find out that people have been talking about me behind my back that I would no longer want to be friends with them and they would have wasted a good friendship for the sake of some petty gossiping.
1 person likes this
@ladym33 (10978)
• United States
30 Apr 12
My personal policy is I would not say something about somebody behind their back that I am not willing to say to their face. The only time I say anything behind someone's back is if I am concerned about them and I am enlisting the help of someone else to come up with a way of helping them. I other words it comes from a place of love not hate.
@KrauseHome (36445)
• United States
4 May 12
I know people like this in real life, that will act like everything is cool, but then the next minute they are talking Bad about you and spreading stuff about you making everyone think you are the Bad guy when in reality they cannot see thru the rose colored glasses of the other person and realize they will talk bad about them behind their back as well. But for someone to be like this who is a Celebrity what does that really show for them?
@vaishnavc (556)
• India
1 May 12
I haven't heard about the show.But i think that Stabbing in the back is the worst thing to do.If you have anything against a person or if you are frustrated with them,then just say it to the face.People who stab you in the back are never really going to have any real friends.Everyone will think that they will stab you in the back and will never open up to you.
@daisy_dion (315)
• Philippines
1 May 12
For me yelling in my face is worst than tabbing at my back. Specially if there are lot of people who will see the argument.
@vaishnavc (556)
• India
1 May 12
Yelling in the face is better.That is if you haven't done anythng wrong,then you could defend yourself.Make them see that you are not to be yelled at.But when you are stabbed in the back,You will be taken by surprise and can hurt you far worse.Hence the name "Backtabbing"
@GardenGerty (169449)
• United States
30 Apr 12
I think you pretty much said it all. I avoid either if I can, but the enemy you do not see is the one who can hurt you the most.
@roberten (3128)
• United States
1 May 12
Yell in my face anytime but please do not stab me in my back because then it's on like a pot of neck bones. Snakes in the grass, commonly called back stabbers, are by far much more dangerous. I worked for the GE subsidiary ASI and got played to the max by my own team member. She played me and our boss against one another to the point of me quitting my job.
She was good, I did not find out what actually happened until I had been away from ASI for several years. Hind sight made it crystal clear how and why she played us that way: she was after our boss' job...what a piece of work!
In my current job I have a coworker who is a bit of a snake in the grass too, but I caught on to her pretty quickly so I've been able to keep this one at bay.
@johndur (3052)
• Pasig, Philippines
30 Apr 12
for me both yelling in your face and back stabbing is both worse and extremes...but i think bask stabbing is much more difficult because you dont know what she is telling to other people about you and you wont notice it unless somebody tell you so...
@megamatt (14290)
• United States
1 May 12
A back stabbing would be rather worse to be honest. Because when someone is all up right in your face, shouting at you, just yelling at you, just pretty much foaming at the mouth, you have a sense of where they are coming from. For better or for worse, you do have a sense with what these people are rather coming from. You know where they stand.
Those who stab you in the back, you really don't know where they are coming from. The nicest people could be gaining your trust, slowly, slowly, with that big smile right on their face. All while sharpening that knife while you are not looking, figuratively speaking. That to me is just something more worth of concern, wondering when the other shoe may drop. That uncertainty is rather alarming.
@WakeUpKitty (8691)
• Netherlands
30 Apr 12
I don't like yelling.. already because of the noise and it makes ugly as well. But at least someone yelling at you is showing his/her real personality and feelings. The back stabber mostly doesn't. Friendly in your face, never honest.. so the backstabbingis worser. You can't trust a person like that ever. A wolf dressed like a sheep, a person without personality or character, one without courage and self esteem.
@samson1 (738)
• Jamaica
30 Apr 12
Ladym33, If I had a choice between experiencing any of the two options presented by you- based on the scenarios indicated in your story- I would prefer to be yelled at; which is essentially the lesser of the two evils.
I would prefer to be told (1)directly about any issue that is affecting anyone, even the aggrieved; using any direct method of delivery of the message such as yelling, whispering, or in writing); than having to be (2)indirectly and/or 'unexpectantly' informed of the same matter by anyone (including the aggrieved), using an 'underhanded', schemingly hypocritical, unhealthy way of delivering the infomation. In addition, in (2), this mode of operandi implies that the method of of delivery of the massage is often 'shrouded' by deceitful, unholy motives.
While yelling can be condoned under certain circumstances, it is a practice that should be discouraged; as it (yelling) is 'kind' of an aggressive approach to communicating, and it may not lead to an amicable resolution of a dispute. However, I think that yelling and any other direct method of communicating is a more honorable way to communicate with anyone, expecially if the other party is aggrieved; than using the indirect method suggested in your story.
@doroffee (4222)
• Hungary
30 Apr 12
Backstabbing is way worse than someone yelling at your face. If someone confronts you, you could conclude lots of things, especially their attitude against you and that you can expect drama... but also the others' arguing style, whether they are immature or not, so basically you are going to get a picture of what it's gonna be like working with them and competing with them.
But if someone is backstabbing and talking about you behind your back, you can't even expect something wrong happening, that they would attack you or your boss would be looking at you in a weird way., Insecurity and drama in all of a sudden are one of the worst things and feelings ever.
