She stepped up.

That is wonderful Ambie, because I know the struggle it has been with your sister not willing to help out. I hope your dad also asks has again and though the husband thought it was hard, maybe he should stay home next time..

I am sorry to hear about your mother's failing health, and the burden that has placed on your father and yourself. It is good to hear that your sister helped. Has your sister been asked before, and refused? Last year was a grueling year for our family, as my father was in dire straits. We ended up moving in with him to provide him with constant care, and I also preached for him since he was no longer able to do this. He asked me to do this for him, and I was honored to do so. My brothers both had full time jobs nearly three hours away. At first, it never occured to me to ask them for help, because I knew they had so much to deal with, and their jobs weren't very sympathetic to their needing to help their father. But I eventually learned that they appreciated being asked. I was both impressed and humbled by the valiant efforts that they made to be with my father every chance they could, despite their crappy jobs. Thanks to my brothers, I was able to take a day or two off every couple of weeks or so, and they were able to spend that time with their father. I guess this isn't exactly what you asked for, as you asked for stories about people who are selfish and surprised me. Hmm. I'll think further on this.

well at least she helped just take it one day at a time. My aunt and cousin have been very good to me for the past three years but not before that. I have no idea why they changed their attitude, but I am not complaining.

Hi Ambie, I am thrilled to hear that your sister stepped up to lend a hand. I hope that she helps out more often now.

hi dearest Ambie just went online for a moment to check weather plus mails so I can answer you relatively straight away. I am so glad your sister helped out with caring for your mom and it seemed to have went all right. Hope she does that again when needed as you and your dad also need some time to relax and recharge batteries.

Well that is good to hear that sometimes even the people we think will never change, have a glimpse of reality and change...even for a short time. Glad to hear that she has stepped up to the plate. Hopefully she won't use it as an excuse that she took care of her, and her help time is over now.

Maybe it was a good eye opener for her, and she will step up a little more. Hope she keeps it up now.

I wondered who provided care while he was gone. I am glad that your sister and her husband did. I know she will not admit how hard it was, but thankfully she now knows what you guys go through on a regular basis. It may be that your sister just responds best to being asked directly for something. I hope that they will continue to help in the future. It is nice that you want to be fair and balanced in what you tell us about her.

wow, i am sorry to hear about your mom. good for your sister for opting to do the right thing by taking care of your mom. my father in law has altzheimers and still lives at home with my mother in law but she does not drive, so end up taking them pretty much everywhere (shopping, church, etc), but lately, hubbys sister has been coming in once a week which is good to help out and take mom out (dad is at a day care). it is so tough when your parents age and need help.

Well, it is always nice to get a pleasant surprise like this. I hope it continues. You two should get spelled occasionally. I used to help take care of my great-great grandmother. She was blind and bed ridden but I would read to her or help my grandmother take care of her. Maybe your sister has been thinking about her part in the sceme of things and has changed her ways a bit.

Hi sweet "sis"! I really wish I could help you and am so glad your "real" sister finally did! I just got back from seeing my mom on Wednesday. I spent 2 weeks with her and this was myfirst time seeing her since she was diagnosed with dementia in January. It was awful for me. She was robbed a month ago of all her very expensive jewelry (it was a definite setup). Someone rang her doorbell at 1:00AM and she opened the door! The guy punched her in the face, knocked her down and took her 4 kt diamond ring and everything else on her. I saw a picture of her face the next day and I want to find this MF! It was someone that knew she wore all that damn jewelery, but anyway the police called me in NY and told me that they were going to report it to the Elder Abuse something that she mustnow have 24/7 care since she is a danger to herself. There's alot more really "bad stuff" to this story, but will tell you in a PM. I think that it is beyond time for your sister to "step up to the plate" and she'd better not complain! She conveniently uses the "distance" thing enough! She has no children to take care of and she should be there for you and your dad alot more often to help care for your mom! I am going to go back to Florida in July and will have to keep going back as much as possible because I need to check on my mom! I had to come back to take care of my own bills and health issues, but I am going back asap because I have to! Sometimes we have to do things that are necessary for those that we care about and that means sacrifice! Your sister doesn't seem to know the meaning of that word!!! Love you Amber, Les

I'm so glad that she finally stepped up! It gave all of you a much needed break, and I'm sure your mom enjoyed having her there, too. If sis watches your mom again, knowing that she only calls if she needs or wants something...make sure you screen your calls for the duration!

That's terrific!!! I can not tell you how glad I am to hear that she has done this for your family! I have been pleasantly surprised before on a few occasions but not on the needed to basis that you are facing. I hope this is the beginning of new things. Maybe it will be a slow process but perhaps she will continue to be a little more involved all the while.

I am not very familiar with dementia but I hope your mother will get over that ailment.

Hopefully, this will not be the last time that your sister will want to help out, and maybe wake up and realize that life is important, and your Mom is important and so she just needs to be there and support and help your Dad when he needs it. Even if it was hard, she still can be there from time to time, and realize this is her Mom and the only one she will ever have, so enjoy her when she can.

Oh so glad they did help for once and beglad she didnt call to complain silver linning

The last person I would ask is a selfish person for help. So I have never been surprised by a selfless act done by a selfish person. I'm glad you sister helped out! It is nice to have some good news for a change.

I'm glad she's finally stepping up to help out. I hope she does it again to give you guys a break, you know spend a weekend or something so it's not a heap of driving in one day.

Its good your sister came and helped. Did you expect her to say no? I dont believe its practical for her to help everytime as she lives far away. Do you think her husband should quit his job and they move to where your mom lives? They have thier own lives in another town 3 hours away. What really do you expect of her?

once in a while my daughter, the oldest one in ohio, surprises me with being careing. she is so much like your sister. but now and then she will actually do something hard to do for the family. all my other kids are more helpful to me but i do compensate them with money usually. so im not sure if its in their haert or not.