Golf Balls  

looool!!!
well that's what i call an unfaithful man! hahahaaa brilliant!!! (although i hope no woman has this kind of "treasure" as a husband)

BUILDER AND THE PRIEST HIT THE GOLF COURSE
A builder and a priest are out for a game of golf one afternooon. Unfortunately the builder wasn't very good at the game and every time he missed a shot would shout 'Sh**, missed'.
The game went on and after several outbursts from the builder, the priest could hold his tongue no longer. "Don't swear like that" he told his friend, "or God will punish you". The builder apologised and the game continued.
As soon as he missed another shot the builder shouted "Sh**, missed." and continued to do this every time he missed a shot for the next three holes.
The priest was starting to get really angry by now and said "I must insist that you stop swearing this instant, otherwise God will hear you and punish you!"Once again, his pleas made no difference as the builder missed an easy putt on the seventeenth green and shouted out "Sh**, missed". Immediately the heavens parted and a bolt of lightning flew from the sky, hitting the priest and killing him stone dead.
Suddenly, a booming voice was heard in the clouds, "Sh**, missed!"

Elephant
An Irishman went to London for a visit to the zoo.
While there, he saw a man with an elephant act. The man claimed the elephant could look at person and tell that person's age. The Irishman was very skeptical and said so, in no uncertain terms. The man had the elephant look at a small boy and the elephant stamped its foot 9 times.

"Is that right?" he asked the man.

"Oh yes." the boy said.

The Irishman was very loud, in his not believing that this was true. The man asked the elephant to tell the ages of several people, and each time the elephant stamped his foot and the people said he was correct.

The Irishman got even louder and more abusive toward the man. Finally the man could take it no longer and wagered the Irishman that the elephant could look at him and tell him his age. The Irishman took him up on the wager. The elephant looked real close at the Irishman, turned around, raised his tail and cut wind like you wouldn't believe, turned back around and stomped his foot twice.

Where upon the Irishman stumbled back and with a sound of disbelief in his voice cried "be gabbers,

He's right...Farty-two!"

An engineer, doctor, and pastor golfing


A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!

Doctor: I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!

Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him. [dramatic pause] Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?

George: Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.

The group was silent for a moment.

Pastor: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.

Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them.

Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?

This is a new variation. I remember a similar one about an elderly couple where the wife makes little knitted dalls or something everytime she gets mad.

oh that is just evil! that poor woman! or one heck of a funny joke!

nice joke well one can try as a business too just joking

Great one pal!!!!!!!

For the first one, I remember a Clinton variant. Hillary was cleaning house one day, and she noticed a shoebox under the bed. Contained therein were three empty beer cans and 3000 dollars. She asked Bill about it. "Every time I was unfaithful to you, I felt bad and drank a beer." Three times, she thought. Monica, Paula...I'd rather not know who the third is. Still curious about the $3k, she asked Bill about it. "Every time the box got full, I recycled the cans."

wow... thanks for the good laugh. I was feeling sleepy and bored when i came across your post. It perked me right up. Also loved the elephant one with the farty two :D