Should One Keep Old Journals/Diaries? Or Throw Them Out?
By pyewacket
@pyewacket (43903)
United States
February 19, 2009 9:26pm CST
Back when I was going through very stressed out times, filled with a lot of hopelessness, anger, defeatism and just plain not feeling very good about myself and life in general, I journaled like crazy everyday. I found it my sort of therapy to write down whatever was bothering me, and my main source of angst was quite frankly all the pain and crap my mother had put me through.
My mother will be deceased three years on August 27th..wow where did that time go? Anyway, when my mother died so much of the pain and anger I felt was released from me, and yes, from time to time I do some discussion or do a response where I mention all the lovely aspects my mother put me through. But it is only recently, I noticed something. Ever since she has died, I no longer journal...LOL. No not ALL my problems have gone away, but I feel a wonderful peacefulness that I just didn't plain experience when she was alive. I no longer have the feelings of low self-worth, I no longer feel hopeless or defeated--hey I feel GOOD! 
Anyway, I still have my old journals that I wrote (and yikes I wrote a lot then)...every once in awhile I read some of my scribblings and it's like wow...did I write that? Was I really THAT angry? I mean reading it is like I'm reading something from a completely different person, cause I AM a different person now.
The question is. Should I keep these journals (who knows if ever I write a memoir I might be able to use some of this stuff in my journals)---OR...should I light a bonfire and just burn them?? As a sort of cleansing to get rid of the past.
What would you do? Do you journal? Do you keep your old ones or do you trash them?
Anyway, I still have my old journals that I wrote (and yikes I wrote a lot then)...every once in awhile I read some of my scribblings and it's like wow...did I write that? Was I really THAT angry? I mean reading it is like I'm reading something from a completely different person, cause I AM a different person now.
The question is. Should I keep these journals (who knows if ever I write a memoir I might be able to use some of this stuff in my journals)---OR...should I light a bonfire and just burn them?? As a sort of cleansing to get rid of the past.
What would you do? Do you journal? Do you keep your old ones or do you trash them?24 people like this
68 responses
@tyc415 (5706)
• United States
20 Feb 09
I don't know what happened to my old diary but it would be nice to have it. I also had a few keepsakes in it. When my mother was 16/17 she kept one and I still have it. When she was still alive, my mother, my daughters and myself read through it and it was so much fun. I am so glad that she did keep hers and that I have it now and my kids will have it. Like I said, I wish I still had mine.
5 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
20 Feb 09
As sparks here suggested, why not create a new journal? Think that would be a great idea. And yes, it is great that you still have your mother's diary--it gives you a great insight on how she felt and what was going on in her life at that time in life. I had always wished my mother would have done something like that. I once gave her a notebook and asked her to write things down...especially things she might have remembered about her mother and grandmother...she never did ....she just plain wasn't in for writing. Kind of a shame no?
4 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
20 Feb 09
Start a new one. It's never too late. Believe me, your kids will value it as much as you value your own mother's. Diaries don't have to be just a running commentary on the days happenings. The tone of my journals changed when my sons were born. Now when they get them, they will see what their lives meant to me, every milestone they passed, my fears, my hopes, my dreams for them but most of all the love I have always had for them especially during those difficult teen years, and the understanding of what they were going through that they were so convinced I didn't have..........So yes, definitely, start a new one. You won't regret it.
5 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
20 Feb 09
First rule of immortality..............NEVER throw out your journals or diaries.
Keep them pye. Start a new one. Re-reading your old journals is a lesson in living. It shows you where you were and how far you've come. They are a part of you that most people never see. Value them. They are as precious as you are.
4 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
20 Feb 09
Thanks sparks..uh, I take it you keep journals/diaries? Hey, you think one day when we're long gone our journals will be auctioned off at Sotheby's and fetch millions???? LOL
5 people like this
@tyc415 (5706)
• United States
20 Feb 09
My daughter got a book for me for Mother's Day one year only the book was to be returned back to her when I finished with it. It was a journal type book only it ask questions and it give me a full page to write my thoughts down. It went back to as far as I could remember from my childhood. She got it at Wal Mart. She said they have one that she wants to get next for us from our grandson so we can fill it out for him.
5 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
20 Feb 09
You have a very smart, insightful and loving daughter tyc. Kudos to her.
4 people like this
@Aurone (4755)
• United States
20 Feb 09
I have every journal I have ever written. Since I was like 10 years old. I go back and read them from time to time. Since I have a lousy memory the only way I remember what happened to me is to re-read my journal. And I like to go back and remember that everything passes and things have been better and worse. And sometimes it helps to laugh at who I used to be.
4 people like this
@Aurone (4755)
• United States
25 Feb 09
I can't believe I was as depressed as I was in High School. Its also fun to read about how "in love" I was with past boyfriends. Some of which I don't even keep in contact with now. Life changes and we change. Its nice to remember how we were.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 Feb 09
Yikes that's a lot of journals to have kept! Looking back at the journals I wrote while my mother was alive and all she put me through I can feel the anger there...and can't believe I felt so angry in life as I did then
2 people like this
@blackbriar (9076)
• United States
20 Feb 09
Well pye, are you ready to let go of the past completely? If so, burn those suckers. If not, best to keep them and maybe go through them every now and then if your feeling out of sorts about the past. I remember having kept a daily journal in a notebook but only because my husband was being a complete jerk toward our daughter and I and wanted it on paper what he put us through on a daily basis. When my lawyer read them, he looked at me and said "ready to have a life of luxury?" I said why, he said if what I wrote was completely true, my hubby is screwed up the azz and beyond. Now that I think about it, I recall feeling good after writing in that notebook. I should never of stopped. Maybe I'll start back up again, who knows! I still have that notebook but only for 'just in case' I ever decide to run him outta the house. He knows he's tiptoeing on thin ice now as it is. He's leaning toward his family more than us again which isn't right at all.
4 people like this
@blackbriar (9076)
• United States
23 Feb 09
I am writing again in a journal of sorts. It's called mylot. lol I had a couple really good belly-aching laughs today that really destressed me. I felt pretty good after wards.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 Feb 09
Well the only thing in the back of my mind is that if I ever write a memoir thing, re-reading some of my journals might help me remember things I've forgotten. Mmmm...so let me get this straight....your hubby is acting like a jerk again??? Then start writing in it again and vent out your feelings...LOL
1 person likes this
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
20 Feb 09
Wow! This is a tough one Pye! I think it all depends on the person. Journals that I kept as a teenager were a lot like the ones you had (full of anger, and a LOT of hatred for myself and a person abusing me) so honestly when I found it a few years later I got rid of it. I am in a much better place now, and I don't need the reminders! It was very theraputic for me to get rid of them! The choice is yours hun!
Hugzz, PurpleTeddyBear xx
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
4 Mar 09
Just do what you think in your heart is best hun. You'll make the right decision!
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 Feb 09
Yes, I guess the choice really is up to me...most people here seem to think I should keep them though, and like I mentioned, if I ever write a memoir type book some of the writings in them could come in handy
2 people like this
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
20 Feb 09
Pye-
I agree, keep your journals. I have journals all the way back to my childhood. They are a part of our growth, our history, and us. Some of mine are journals of my workings so they are very important for me to keep them for reference. I actually keep several journals. I work out of four journals every day, so yes they do stack up. You could think about investing in ones that are pretty leather so that you can put them on your bookshelf. A friend of mine has his labeled and dated on the outside by year. He's a much better journal keeper then I am lol.
Anora
4 people like this
@GardenGerty (157674)
• United States
20 Feb 09
My grandfather kept a daybook, of weather, prices and daily chores and errands. I found them interesting when grandma showed them to me. I cannot believe he did that so consistently for so many years.
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
20 Feb 09
That's not a bad idea to label journals with dates...they are dated on the inside but not on the outside for quick reference As far as those leather type journals...yikes I've seen them they ARE expensive and on SSI benefits a bit too pricey for me--though I did once get a really great looking journal which is now my Rainbow Bridge Book...sort of a memorial to all my former pets and I jot down things I remember about them and include photos of them--its still an ongoing process...considering I've had a lot of pets since I was five years old
3 people like this
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
20 Feb 09
I'm not sure where you are are Pye, but if you have a Barnes and Noble near you they have them on sale every now then on the bargain table. I picked up leather journals not to long ago for 5.00 a piece. Not a bad deal! But yes, they can be very pricey.
2 people like this
@xParanoiax (6987)
• United States
20 Feb 09
I've always burnt them, xD there's one I have right now that I wish I could burn but isn't finished yet. It's always been very cleansing for me, since after a journal's done...I don't usually want to reminisc after that period of my life's over. Which is sortof weird, imo, but whatever, heh.
I know alot of people who keep them after they're done writing them, but the more intense emotions fill a journal...the easier it is for me to part ways with it. I dunno what it is.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
7 Mar 09
I can understand your feelings there...about the cleansing part...like by burning them, you release those negative emotions once and for all, right?
1 person likes this
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
20 Feb 09
I didn't journalize my life, but there are times I wished I had. My first thought is to keep them! In developing a writing career, it helps to have sources to draw from, and journals are a perfect source. Also, it gives you a frame of reference to see how much you have progressed over the periods of time. We all grow in one way or another, but we don't always see the growth. Having a journal is a wonderful way to see the growth.
My Mom will have been gone 9 years on July 13th. In that space of time I have been able to view aspects of our mother daughter relationship. Not everything was peaches and cream, but towards the end we got a lot settled and were best friends. I look back and remember and then use the memories to improve myself and prove a lot of what was said about me as I was growing up, wrong.
What you might do is if you have a scanner, scan the contents into your computer and then save the contents on a CD. That way you have it for reference if you do write your memoirs, and you can do the cleansing and burn the hard copies. Just remember that your journals are part of your history, by writing down your history you are keeping a record and you can look back on it to avoid making the mistakes that were made by your mother when she was alive. While the journals can remind you of the awfulness that you lived through, you can still learn from them.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
14 Mar 09
Thank you Loverbear, yes our journals are a part of our "history"--You're not the only person to mention to me how even though the mother/daughter relationship was a stormy one, it "mellowed" out toward the end..I sure wish the relationship between my mother and I had gotten better, it only got worse
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
14 Mar 09
My relationship with my Mom was kind of stormy to start with and mellowed out as I got older. The last 17 years Mom was alive were the best and we formed a wonderful friendship and bonds that still are there 8 years after she passed away.
I wish I had kept journals through all my life. Unfortunately my Dad went through everything I owned on a regular basis, so keeping journals was out of the question. I do remember a lot of the stuff that happened like it was yesterday; so when I start writing the book, it will come back like a rerun of last summer's movies.
As I have said before, you're a lot like me and there are times that you want to get rid of the unhappiness by burning it away, and other times you realize the value of keeping that information and feelings that you have written down. I am finally realizing that all the stuff I am keeping needs to be purged, and I am doing a MASSIVE purge right now. It feels so good, and I am getting a space at one of the local flea markets for April 18th and will have a great time getting rid of stuff so I can get the money to do home repairs that are needed more than "stuff".
@dodo19 (47121)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
20 Feb 09
Personally, I think it depends on the individual. Some people may want to keep their diaries, while others may not necessarily want to go back and re-open old wounds, or painful memories. Yes, it's true that they may serve as a lesson to the living, but we can never really say who exactly will look at them or even if it may help them. So I guess it just depends on the individual, and if this person believes that it may help them with their future.
4 people like this
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
20 Feb 09
I agree that it depends on the person! Some may find throwing them out theraputic and a way of "closing that chapter in their life" while others may have the need to hold onto it!
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
20 Feb 09
Yes you see that's where I'm a bit torn. by throwing them out it could be a releasing of the past...a real getting over of the past, yet, in back of my mind if I ever do write a memoir (and a lot have encouraged me to do so)--those journals might have things in them I wrote about that maybe I forgot...
2 people like this
@nanajanet (4436)
• United States
20 Feb 09
I used to keep a diary, until my brother found it. I stopped after that. I was always afraid of someone else finding my deepest thoughts.
I would do what you feel is right. They are your memories and thoughts so you can do what you wish and what makes you feel good.
2 people like this
@AnythngArt (3302)
• United States
7 Mar 09
The cats may read them, but they'll never tell. After all, when they say "cat's got your tongue...." LOL
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
7 Mar 09
It's funny I never kept journals/diaries when I was younger...think I was afraid my mother might sneak a read into them...LOL
There's no one to sneak a read into my journals now...uh, unless my two cats suddenly learn how to read...LOL
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (159572)
• Boise, Idaho
20 Feb 09
If you throw them away there will come a time down the road that you will wish you had kept them and you could kick yourself for getting rid of them. I would keep them. Maybe not right out where you would see them all the time. But, around where you can get at them if you feel the need.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 Feb 09
I more or less have all my journals in one spot but not right out in the open...but you're right...beginning to think I should keep them..LOL
2 people like this
@celticeagle (159572)
• Boise, Idaho
25 Feb 09
ya, you might be sorry if you don't.
2 people like this
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
20 Feb 09
Hi Pye,
I think you should keep the old journals as it might comes in handy like you said for writing your memoirs, I think you are cleansed already and have moved on to get on with your life. I myself don't keep one as when I was young I used to have one but my brother found and and read it, made fun of me in front of everyone reading it aloud, since that day I don't keep one, I do have a diary but only for special dates like birthday appointments.
Bright Blessings.
Tamara
4 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 Feb 09
How rotten that your brother not only found your diary/journal but then to read your private thoughts out loud to people.
1 person likes this
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
20 Feb 09
Personally, I think that with releasing the anger (and all of the other feeling that went with it), the journals should be released too. Keeping them is holding onto a little of the old anger feelings too. You will always remember those times, why hold onto the proof too?
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
20 Feb 09
LOL--that's the real kicker. I really DON'T remember those feelings of anger anymore since my life is so much different now...a HECK of a lot calmer, so when I do read passages from them it's like I'm reading someone else's life...uh, if that makes sense..LOL
2 people like this
@LaurenInLA (2270)
• United States
20 Feb 09
I do journal almost every day and I would strongly recommend that you keep them. I enjoy going back sometimes and reading my old journals. I have one that I wrote as a teen and the things that were absolutely life ending then are so laughable to me now. The old journals will show you how much you've grown and remind of things that you'd forgotten about. One of the most important reasons for keeping them IMHO is for future generations to read and to get to know who you were and where they came from.
4 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 Feb 09
It's funny I never kept a journal/diary when I was a teenager...I suppose if I had if I were to read my of my "life" then I'd probably have a good laugh too now...Lets face it, when we're that age everything seems rather dramatic in our lives. Heehee
1 person likes this
@LaurenInLA (2270)
• United States
23 Feb 09
That's what is so funny. I recall documenting an entry about one of my friends taking one of my spiral notebooks and throwing it at a senior that I had a crush on. Of course, I was so humiliated that I was never going to go back to school again. Today, I would just stroll over to him and ask him out for coffee. We really do grow so much.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (157674)
• United States
20 Feb 09
I have on rare occasions, done a little journaling. When I find them, they are usually a blessing to me. I think, if I were in your shoes, I would opt for the bonfire cleansing, as it would be very freeing.
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 Feb 09
I just might keep them in case I do a memoir thing...could be handy to read things I might have forgotten about.
1 person likes this
@joyceshookery (2057)
• United States
20 Feb 09
I keep my old journals. I'm not sure where they are, but last year I ran across one dated 1984. In some ways, I noticed that time hasn't changed my attitudes that much. In other ways my emotions about different aspects of life are very different. Those journals could be very useful in your writing. Also, you can see who you are now compared with who you were then -- see your personal growth and amaze yourself :-D
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
7 Mar 09
Yes journals can be a real revelation as to how one WAS.....I've moved on in life in so many ways that when I do read bits and pieces of my journals it's like I'm reading someone else's life and not mine...wouldn't want to be "back there" again....my life has mellowed out so much and am very content with how things have turned out in life
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
20 Feb 09
I can so relate to your feelings about your mother. I still have issues with mine today and I wonder how I got through the emotional abuse and put downs but anyway that's for another discussion.
I write, write and write! If I couldn't I would shrivel up and die, I think.
It is enlightening to look back and read what you created years ago. I recently found a diary I was keeping when I was in the sixth grade and thought I was in love. My feelings were so intense! It's amusing now but at the time I was in real angst.
I don't think you should destroy your old journals, they tell your story.
Perhaps you could use them to write a memoir or a self help book or something along those lines. I'm sure others can receive comfort learning how you handled your experiences.
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
7 Mar 09
do you ever go back and read some of your old stuff and think to yourself..gee, did I write that? And I don't only mean what one writes in journals but even short stories?? I look at some of my stories and wonder...where the heck did I get THAT idea from..or how did I do that? I've always been a Civil War buff for instance, so I wrote a short story with a Civil War theme to it....to get me in the "mood" of it I re-watched some of the Ken Burn's Civil War PBS series and the movie Glory (great movie!)...Okay so sometime later I had someone read the story...gave him a copy. The following week I asked him how did he like and he confided that he couldn't read the whole thing...it was too bloody and gory...LOL..too "realistic"---he even questioned me how the heck could I write such a story when I've never been involved in a war? mmmm..not a clue...LOL
You're right though,...think I'll keep my journals...never know when I might want to write a memoir and there could be something in my journals that I could use
1 person likes this
@jambi462 (4576)
• United States
20 Feb 09
I think that we should keep them because not only are they works from our own imagination and experiences but they also allow you to remember certain moods or experiences you were feeling. I think that it's good to keep everything that you work hard to write because there's usually a lot of power and emotion in them.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
7 Mar 09
Thanks jambi...yup, think I'll keep my journals...might come in handy if I ever write my memoirs or something
1 person likes this
@reichiru (748)
• Canada
20 Feb 09
I haven't written in my journal in quite a long time, I just haven't been able to get my lazy bum away from the computer for the past 9 months and sit down at my desk and actually write something. I mean, I really could keep an electronic diary if I'm so lazy, but I don't even do that much! I really don't think you should throw your journals away though, they're a part of who you are, and I'm sure you now appreciate all the things your mother made you do, cause it made who you are today. I mean, I'm still not at the age where I can fully appreciate all the things my parents have done for me, but I do understand that at some point everyone will feel that way. I'm sure whenever you read back in your old journals you can appreciate all the things your parents did for you, even if you didn't like it then. I highly suggest that you keep them, for memory's sake.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
14 Mar 09
Yes I do think it's best for me to keep my journals...never know when I might want to write my memoirs and might need to refer to my journals, right?
@semispoiledgurl (176)
• Philippines
20 Feb 09
I used to have diaries when I was in college and they're still with me until now. I remember when I was cleaning my room last year, I happened to read one of them accidentally. While I was reading, I kept asking myself if I really wrote those stuffs. You know the type of "Wow! I couldn't believe I was like that before?" That was what I felt when I was reading them.
