Refusing to accept a medical problem?
By ElicBxn
@ElicBxn (63235)
United States
May 22, 2009 10:22pm CST
Now, I know lots of my friends here on the "Lot" have medical problems, but have you, or do you know any one who would just REFUSE to accept that they have a medical problem?
I knew someone who just got totally irate when they told her she needed oxygen and to wear a bipap when she slept. A few years later she got absolutely apoplexic when they told her she needed to change her diet.
She did finally come around about these things when the doctors explained more than "you will die" with what all would happen BEFORE the "you will die" and how it happens.
But, what I want to knw is have you, or do you know of anyone who have done this?
What brought this up was someone trying to do what is right for a recent diagnosis and getting conflicting information from the medical community - not because she's doing wrong, but them. Actually, I've seen this with 2 people recently, one here on the Lot and another in another discussion forum I'm on.
9 people like this
22 responses
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
23 May 09
My father is a fine example of a man living in fear and denial. He often chastises my mother because she is one of those people who will go to a doctor as soon as she notices something is not right with her body. My dad tells my mum that it is silly to go to the doctor and "look for trouble", it is his opinion that it is better to leave things alone just in case the doctor finds anything. We have explained to him that lives have been saved by early diagnosis but he won't hear of it. It's like he believes that going to the doctor will actually cause the illness!
2 people like this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
24 May 09
What a shame your friend didn't listen to you! Did she come out of it ok? Ovarian cancer is a b***h of a cancer because of the lack of warning symptoms early on. It's so scary!
1 person likes this
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
23 May 09
Hi Elic,
I am a bit like that as i don't like to go the doctors much and try to do things myself, I just hate going there but if it was serious I will go and see my doctor, as you can't take any chances.
Tamara
2 people like this
@Cajunhellcat (2073)
• United States
23 May 09
Yup my man is just like that he went to Dr and they told him his blood pressure and sugar was high he has not went back to this day and that was last year
1 person likes this
@Cajunhellcat (2073)
• United States
23 May 09
I do at home but he eats what he wants to at work hey do you have My Space
1 person likes this
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
23 May 09
I agree that some men do have a big problem with denial, but their are also some that don't! I think either male or female at some point we always deny something! Health just seems to be a really popular issue that gets denied easily for some reason!
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
26 May 09
I know maybe people who go to a doctor than complain the doctor doesn't know what he or she is talking about when they say the person has a medical condition, I wonder why they went to the doctor in the first place for,
then there are other that will deny that they will get sick if they smoke drink too much etc,
e.g, argue back and forth, that cancer is not caused by smoking,
all this is is refusal to take responsibility and hidden fear.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
26 May 09
that is so sad, she might have been saved if she only went earlier.
1 person likes this
@Pigglies (9329)
• United States
23 May 09
I have one friend who refuses to accept that she has too many medical problems to drive. She gets in at least one car accident per month and still it doesn't deter her from driving. I don't know if it is all the medication she is on or what, but she doesn't have any ability to pay attention and she refuses to turn her head and actually look when changing lanes and such.
1 person likes this
@Pigglies (9329)
• United States
23 May 09
You wouldn't believe how bad your driving record has to get to have your license taken away. Unless she starts driving drunk or something (which wouldn't happen as she doesn't drink due to her meds), she has to have a much greater frequency of accidents.
She keeps trying to get me to ride with her, but I've put my foot down on that. I told her if she has 6 months accident free I will ride with her. Only because I know that wouldn't happen. Once she called me all happy and said she made it a month with no accident. I reminded her that for 3 weeks, her car was in the shop being repaired! Next month, 2 accidents in one day.
1 person likes this
@Wizzywig (7847)
•
23 May 09
I work on an acute medical ward where we have patients who refuse oxygen masks, or wear them for an hour or so in between slipping off to smoke.... & then complain of breathlessness. I can understand it when their condition is terminal - they may as well enjoy the time they have but those who are not in that position could have a significantly improved and extended life if they took the advice. It is sometimes very difficult to decide what course of action to take when presented with a diagnosis and, ultimately, it is the patient's choice. Sadly there are often conflicting opinions from the medical advisors, presumably because they need to be impartial & give that choice.
2 people like this
@MartyM (95)
• United States
23 May 09
I work with the Elderly and Handicap. One of my 'Clients' recently found out she has cancer. She refuses to believe it. You can tell that the cancer is really 'taking it's toll'. Dr's have told her the cancer is "spreading fast." her family is trying to talk her into getting Chemo......she says "why should I? there's nothing wrong with me." Its' really sad to see, from my 'position' as her Aid.
1 person likes this
@MartyM (95)
• United States
24 May 09
I hate to say this, but,...that could be the situation. I worked with a woman who said that she was "done living." That's was hard to hear for her family and, of course, me. She passed away in her sleep. I know it's tough for the 'onlookers' in a situation like this.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157546)
• United States
23 May 09
When my mom had a heart attack and triple bypass, they discovered her to be diabetic as well. She said it was only from the trauma from the heart attack. All of my life my mom always talked about people with diabetes as if they had some moral failing that caused them to be diabetic. Could not get her to admit it at all.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63235)
• United States
23 May 09
that is just dumb!
I'm waiting to hear from my blood test, but I've done a couple of sticks/tests on my client's and roommate's blood meters and I'm always good on my blood sugar - and I made it a point to eat low carb/sugar the night before 
what happened?
what happened?@Pigglies (9329)
• United States
23 May 09
Wow. It seems like a lot of people think that though. I have two diabetic friends. One is overweight and the other is average weight. People are always telling my overweight diabetic friend that she brought it upon herself. She has type 1 diabetes and when she was diagnosed she was actually too thin due to problems caused by the diabetes. Only with the insulin was she able to gain weight.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (157546)
• United States
24 May 09
One of the symptoms of diabetes is an unexplained weight loss. Sometimes diabetes is hard to diagnose, as well and before tests show elevated blood sugar, there may be a problem with blood sugars falling too low. People should not be so judgmental about someone else's illness. Nothing is that cut and dried.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (85437)
• United States
25 May 09
My dad refuses to believe he has high blood pressure. He never had high blood pressure until his doctor put him on a certain medication. A medication he needs. And he sometimes checks his blood pressure at Sam's Club near the pharmacy. It is never high there. So he is convinved he does not have high blood pressure.
1 person likes this
@BarBaraPrz (45476)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
23 May 09
Oh, you mean like trying to get help for my depression when I was younger and being told to "snap out of it"?
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63235)
• United States
23 May 09
when was that? there was a time when there wasn't a lot they could do for depression (you are talking to a person who was visiting a coucillor at 13 for depression) and some people, even some older doctors thought you could "snap out of it" this all before the days of the medicines we have today
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 May 09
My husband refuses to accept the possibility that he might have sleep apnea and won't even go and get tested...
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
23 May 09
i have known people like her that reacted to a diagnosis. i have not always followed my doctor's orders especially when they told me toquit smoking & i haven't. other than that i do most everything they say but sometimes doubt them. i think u could go to six different doctors in one day & they would all tell u something different. sometimes the way i feel about them is that you are damned if u do go & damned if u don't. have a good weekend.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
23 May 09
i guess so. sometimes life just sucks in general. glad i don't feel that way all the time.
1 person likes this
@nanajanet (4436)
• United States
23 May 09
I think it is fear. Burying the head in the sand and it does not really exist. It is silly, I know.
My mom, who is going for uterine cancer surgery next week, said that she wished she never found out so she would not have to have surgery. How silly!!
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63235)
• United States
23 May 09
That's rough, I guess they'd rather die thinking they are healthy than live longer, see those grand, and great grands.
I know about people not accepting responsablity for their actions, I also avoid them if I can.
My problem isn't that my family doesn't accept their problems, its that they don't accept MINE!
1 person likes this
@Barbietre (1438)
• United States
23 May 09
And it gets better than that, she has COPD and a small aortic anyeurism. I went with her the the doctor for that visit, and he said one of the main causes is smoking and asked if she smoked, and she said NO! Yeah she does not now but did since she was a teen.I told that to the doctor, Nanajanet and I have a Mother who does not accept blame for anthing in her life and would rather ignore things that to take care of it.
2 people like this
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
26 May 09
My grandfather efused to accept his diagnosis. The give him six months and he ived two years after. It was lung cancer. He would not rest. He would not stop. He fought til the end. Till it toomk control. I wouldn't have wanted to be that cancer..but it did win in the end.
1 person likes this
@wildcat48 (779)
• United States
24 May 09
yea my husband one of those people,he say if he die he just go to heaven sooner
1 person likes this
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
23 May 09
Hi ElicBxn, I personally haven't refused to accept a medical problem, but both my grandma and my great grandma did! Before my great grandma passed away she didn't come around with accepting she had dimenshia until after she had almost chewed her own finger off! My grandmother didn't want to accept she had Parkinson's until she started getting paralysis of the face, and the shakes really bad!
1 person likes this
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
24 May 09
I have a friend who has recently had two seizures. With the help of his wife he came out of them OK, but he refuses to go to the doctor. His wife has begged him, cried, got mad at him just about everything she can think of but he still will not go the doctor, he probably just needs to get some medication but he will not even go to find out. He smokes like a chimney and looks like he is 9 months pregnant. He needs to go the doctor. He has 3 children and a wife that love and depend on him.
1 person likes this
@Canellita (12029)
• United States
23 May 09
Some people are just stubborn and they think they have all the answers already. It is difficult to reason with them.
1 person likes this
@mimuche (163)
• Canada
23 May 09
It is really wrong to just avoid accepting and realizing the seriousness of the illnesses. Lately I was diagnosed with arrhythmia and even thought it had been going on for quite a while I always made excuses that it was either too much work or too hot or something just plain stupid. And when it came to the point that I was running out of breath and became too scary I convinced myself that i had a problem. And now after a very small surgical procedure and recovery period I am all good. I learned the lesson the hard way and also that being stubborn and not seeing things for what they actually are will not get you anywhere.
1 person likes this
