Do ladies also offer gifts to their men???

@mr_pearl (5018)
India
May 2, 2010 6:36am CST
Dear myLotters... I am sure my question sounds funny and pretty out of order.. The unwritten law is that men always gift their ladies. But today I came across something truly unimaginable... I just met with a friend of mine, who wore a nice wrist watch.. .I asked him how did he get it? When did he buy it? Because we people generally shop together.. He told me that his girl-friend gifted it to him.. Its not his birthday, it is just a simple day... Nothing special... And yet, this girl gifted him a costly wrist watch... Hitherto, I have seen men gifting their ladies even if there was nothing special.. Wonder, since when ladies started gifting boys...? and also, what kind of impact it can create? How the relation will be affected? It is like breaking the general sequence and doing something out of order, so these questions popped up in my mind... what do you think about it? Please share...
2 people like this
36 responses
• United States
3 May 10
Why not? Men and women have one very important thing in common: we're both human! My husband and I have been blessed with five awesome years so far, and all throughout it we have been giving things to one another for no reason it all. It keeps the relationship romantic and special, not to mention I love him so much I just have to give him things! I've given my husband clothes, food, jewelry, books, games, all sorts of things, and he has given me the same. Lots of times we'll also consider doing the other one's chores a gift, since sometimes those are the best gifts! I had a friend who thought it was odd that I'd buy my husband dinner and such. She was Armenian and brought up with very strict "man gifts woman but woman gifts nothing" beliefs. I honestly would rather gift things to my husband than get things from him. I'm the breadwinner and the one who takes care of finances, bills, legal issues, etc., so it feels weird to have to lean on him for everything. It doesn't mean he never does the same for me. He'll buy me dinner or surprise me with gifts extremely often, but I take pride that I'm the head of us both as a woman, so I strive to do things that keep me in that position. I believe that yes, men should make their women feel special, but at the same time, I believe it's highly respectable and sweet when a woman gives gifts to a man. Some women have a sense of entitlement, but those who give gifts are usually the ones who enjoy keeping equality within the relationship, the ones who truly love their men and try to show it any way they can.
1 person likes this
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
6 May 10
Hello Miss... Thanks for the wonderful reply... I wish everyone could be this much understanding. It seems as if both of you understand each other and care a lot for each other.. Here in my country, it is somewhat like what it is with your Armenian friend... Ladies don't generally buy things for their men, unless there is some special reason... The things are changing gradually though and within last 2 decades or so, women have started doing things for their men. Thanks you again for sharing... God bless you both...
1 person likes this
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
18 May 10
Wonderful Statement: 'The Best Way to change something is to be actively involved in working against it...' Hats Off!!! The revolution should always begin at one's door-step to be successful... Wonderful miss... Have a great time!!!
• United States
6 May 10
And thank you for the wonderful comment! In countries where a man is expected to do something that women are seen as odd for doing, I simply couldn't live there. I'm not insulting your country but when I feel love, I give gifts, I do things that some believe only men should do. I don't think that giving materialistic gifts is a must for a relationship, but I think it's extremely helpful and sweet. Why shouldn't both partners be involved with giving to one another? I hope that even if it's expected for men to continue to gift in your country and those like it, that women begin to open up and show affection to their partners in such ways. The best way to change something is to be actively involved in working against it.
• United States
3 May 10
This is a great question. Both the man and woman should gift each other things. I mean look at this way--If the woman keeps taking and taking she will eventually look selfish and the man will end up thinking she is a gold digger. So it is better that both the people are involved in gift exchange. And when a woman gives a gift it simply means she cares about her partner which I think is very cute. Also men need to be indulged sometimes.
1 person likes this
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
5 May 10
Hi Athena... thanks for sharing your valuable opinion... I really appreciate your thought-process and I agree with you... The way you have put it, it is most certainly possible... I didn't understand your last statement though, forgive my ignorance... You say 'also men need to be indulged sometimes.'
• United States
5 May 10
Thank you for the response. What I meant was that there is nothing wrong in pampering the men we care about:)
1 person likes this
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
6 May 10
Yes Athena, it is logical the way you have put it... There is nothing wrong in it... Thank you for sharing... Have a great time!
• United States
3 May 10
It's the 21st century! Of course it is not only ok but beautiful that women are buying " just because" gifts for their men.I don't like flowers but my guy does. Every once in a while I send him flowers. It is fun. I love his reaction.
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
8 May 10
Hi Sarah... You don't have to be sorry. I knew it was just an error that your post got posted twice... It happens to many... God bless you both... Have fun!
1 person likes this
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
6 May 10
Yes, I agree with you... And I am sure your boy friend's reaction must be that of an amused person, to get flowers from you... Such reactions are loved by ladies, as far as my experience goes... Thanks for sharing Sarah... Have a great time!
1 person likes this
• United States
6 May 10
First let me apologize. I didn't know my response was posted twice! I love sending him flowers because he is sooo happy to receive them.
@cicisnana (772)
• United States
18 Jun 10
I live in the U.S. and some 25 odd years ago when my husband and I were dating he was the one doing the "simple day gifting." Of course, special occasions, birthday, anniversary, I gifted. We have a daughter, who is 20, and she probably gifts more to her fiance than he does to her. Not only with material things, but taking him out to eat, movies, etc. He does her too, but he is quite the spend thrift, where she is the opposite, money burns holes in her pockets. And there are plenty of women/girls, I know of who are doing this, gifting their man, just as he gifts her. I guess it is only fair.
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
18 Jun 10
Hi Cicisnana... It is wonderful to read from you, as you have experienced the change between the previous and present generations.. Yes, the situation has changed now... Ladies are also buying things for their guys, taking them to movies or dinners or shopping.... Thanks for sharing Miss... Have a good Day!
@puppynut (370)
• New Zealand
3 May 10
I love to give gifts to my husband but as I'm about o have a baby can't afford to at the moment. In the past, when I had a higher income I used to love to shower my men with gifts. i don't think it was a good idea to spoil them as much as I did and I think they saw me as a mother figure rather than a partner. I had given them so much they got used too it and would ask for things. I think as long as it is moderated and appreciated it is a good thing but my advise is ladies don't spoil your men, it can ruin them!
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
6 May 10
Hello friend... Thanks for sharing... Seems as if you have seen and experienced a lot in the matter of gifts... Yes, it is good to give gift to the loved ones... Forgive my ignorance upon this, but I have not been able to understand how does it spoil the men? About a mother figure, let me assure you that most of the men like to be with ladies like that... My fiancee is like that and I always love to seek her advice and help for many things... It gives me kind of nice feeling, which I can't describe.. but I am not spoiled yet... Please elaborate, how it spoils the men... Thanks again for sharing...
• Philippines
4 May 10
She's his girlfriend right? I could see nothing wrong about it. I'd feel weird or awkward to give a gift to a guy if he's not my boyfriend. Anyway, in Japan I think girls give chocolates to the guys they like if it's Valentine's Day.
1 person likes this
@daliaj (5674)
• India
5 May 10
This is a very valuable question and a great discussion. When I saw this discussion, I read all the responses of this discussion before writing this. I am doing this for a discussion after a very long time; may be an year. Men also like to get gifts and a woman should gift her partner. In my case, I got some gifts to my husband like shoes, jeans, wallet, book, etc. My husband got me many gifts too. He got me many gifts than the gifts I got for him. I don't think it is easy to get gifts for guys. My guy is a choosy person and I don't want to get him things which he won't use and give away to somebody. So, I always go out with him and present him things on his presence. But, it is always my dream to give him surprise gifts, but most of the instances, I run out of ideas. I want to get him some gifts as a surprise, which hen will like and use. Do you have any ideas?
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
18 May 10
Hi Daliaj... I am extremely sorry for the 2 weeks delay in replying to your wonderful response... Your guy is truly lucky!!! You're so considerate and caring... You want to buy him things but also want him to like it... So you do the best way, you take him out and shop for him... Wonderful!!! Not many ladies could do that... And by the way, you say men are choosy... My experience has been a little different.. Women are choosy... I have spent hours shopping with my ex and she couldn't find a pair of shoe for her... Have a nice time Lady... God bless you both!!!
• Canada
4 May 10
It's not out of order. Women and men commonly gift each other in these times. I don't know where you live that it is so uncommon but in the western world its status quo.
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
18 May 10
Hiiii lynkshadow... Thanks for sharing.. .yes, here in Eastern countries, it is still a little out of order.. .But thankfully, with the globalization the situation is changing... The point of views of ladies and men also, have become a little broader and things that looked out of order before a few years are now accepted with an open mind... Have a nice time!
• United States
4 May 10
i do-- i am a big giver. i sent my man a pendant with dragons on it that i knew he would like-- he does, he says he loves it and wears it everyday. when you love someone you can give them stuff even if its not a special occasion because life is short
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
18 May 10
Hello LdyShkspr... Thanks for sharing... Yes, I have come to know now that ladies do offer gifts and men love it too... By the way, your nick name is truly wonderful... Have a nice time... And sorry, for the delayed reply...
• India
4 May 10
It's nothing unusual a girlfriend gifting her boyfriend. We are always in a distortion that only girls are in the receiving end. In order to show our extreme affection, excess love, we would go to any length to gift her whatever she wants. Sometimes, it works the other way round. There are, of course, girls who reciprocate their love by gifts to ensure that the boy is always affectionate to her only. Rich girls also do this to show their command over the boyfriends. It all depends up on nature of the girl.
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
6 May 10
hello.. Thanks for sharing.. You've certainly classified the ladies very well... I would like to add one more class to this classification... There ladies, who like to accept gifts everyday, every hour... They are at it, continuously and when they are bored with it, they dump their guys.. There are a few ladies like that too... My ex is one of them... Thankfully, I am out of her clutches now... My fiancee, is passionate and keeps sending me gifts or cash from time to time... Have fun!
@laniekins (4579)
• Philippines
17 Jun 10
I do give gifts to my bf, I bought gave him shirt and foods mostly. I am happy if I have gifts for him cause I love to surprise him, only if I have money. Sometimes he refuse it but there is nothing he can do but to accept it. It's ok for ladies to give gifts, it proves that we truly love the person.
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
17 Jun 10
Hi Laniekins... Thanks for sharing your experience... It was never this way in my country before a few years... But now, it seems the situation is changing... And I am glad to see this change too... You seem to be a wonderful couple... God bless you both!!!
• United States
17 Jun 10
Well, I don't give random gifts in the form of something bought. Usually I will try to set some extra money aside for him to get something he wants though. Usually no occasion.
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
18 Jun 10
Hiii... My girl friend is somewhat like you only... She saves money for me... :) Thanks for sharing... Have a good day!
@zengy57 (59)
• Philippines
3 Jun 10
Mr. Pearl i guess you love gifts too.. especially from your loveones eh... for me as a lady i feel awfull when i receive expensive gift from my man. i'm thinking how can i show him how i appreciate it. He makes me feel complete,loved, gives me happiness and contentment so i'm not hesitant to give him gifts anytime. for me its not bad to give gift to a man but not to any man but only my MAN!!!!
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
13 Jun 10
Hi Zengy... Thanks for sharing... I understand and appreciate your point of view. I love to receive gifts, who doesn't...??? LOL... Well... I love to give a gift too... In fact, I have spent almost half of my money buying gifts for my ex (the bloody B****).... LOL... Sorry to use profanity here... But whenever that one thought comes to my mind that I have spent so much on such an unworthy girl, my mind boils up... Thank you again Miss... Have a great time... May God bless you both... :)
@puccagirl (7294)
• Israel
17 Jun 10
I think it is completely okay, why not? I do get gifts for my boyfriend every once in a while, if I see something he might like. He does the same for me, so I think it is really fair. Why should girls be the only ones getting gifts? I personally think it is very nice to make others happy by giving them stuff that they really like, so I see nothing wrong with it, no matter if it is a woman or a man.
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
17 Jun 10
Hi Friend... Thanks for sharing... I appreciate the equality myself... :) Here in my country, it was not thus before a few years... Now, thankfully it has changed a lot and is still changing... The people are accepting broader views and I am glad to see the change... Have a good Day!
@EvrWonder (3571)
• Canada
3 May 10
We all must be able to give in order to receive. It is a universal law, regardless of gender. I think it is awesome when a girl will gift a boy. There is nothing wrong with it and should be encouraged. You mean to tell me at times like Christmas that no women give any gift at all to any men whatsoever? I have a hard time understanding that. Giving and receiving is all good no matter whether one is a female or male. I feel that it is just proper etiquette to return the gesture with a gift as well when the opportunity presents itself. I have many times given gifts to men I know without expecting anything in return and without being given a gift first. Gender makes no difference. It is the thought that matters.
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
5 May 10
Hello friend, thanks for sharing... I think, I have failed to convey my message properly... Many of the myLotters have started thinking that I am discriminating and many of us have responded in a way that makes me feel as if I am an old daddy with strong misconceptions about ladies... Trust me, I don't think that way! I am not mixing money with love here... It is traditional for men to buy gifts for their ladies. Yes, ladies do that on special occasions and I trust I have mentioned it in my post... I was surprised to find my friend receiving a gift on just a simple day... Have fun!
@shaggin (71483)
• United States
3 May 10
I love the feeling of giving someone a gift that I think they would like. It makes me feel good. I am not in a relationship right now but I still buy guys things that I think they will like or I like and hope they will like whatever. I buy men pretty unusual things though.. nothing simple like a watch. If a guy I really liked wanted a watch and I could afford it then I would buy it for them. I dont think buying someone a gift is only for men to buy for women although thats much more common. I rarely have guys buy my gifts. I try to get them to but they just dont want to waste their money on me I guess haha.
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
6 May 10
Hi friend... Thanks for sharing... It is wonderful that you've been buying gifts for men. I have known only a few ladies like that, personally. My girl friend is one of them... Now, even if we're far apart from each other, she usually sends me gifts or money when I require... Your ideas are certainly wonderful about giving gifts to your friends... I am sure you must be a wonderful person... And I am also sure that when your Prince walks into your life, he will be buying a lot of things for you.. Men are really good when it comes to gifting their ladies... Thanks again.. Have a great time!
@cupkitties (7421)
• United States
3 May 10
I've never bought a gift for anyone without a reason. I'd be afraid to just randomly buy a gift for a man since many of them instead of being grateful the first thought that comes to their mind is "woman giving gift to man = someone I can walk all over"
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
5 May 10
Hello... Thanks for sharing... The way you have put it, it certainly sounds possible... And there are people with such ideologies, too... This ideology arises from the old tradition of men gifting their ladies... Right?
@ifa225 (14364)
• Indonesia
3 May 10
i often give gifts to my men. If i see that he needs something i will buy him one. he never ask the things, but it just a pleasure if i can give him something then he use or wear it. I guess the loved caused me did so..
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
5 May 10
Yes Ifa, love causes it... It is really kind and romantic of you to offer things to your husband which he needs.. That is surely appreciated by us- the men... Thanks a lot for sharing.. Have a nice time...
@reco13 (605)
• Philippines
3 May 10
Of course I also give my man gifts. Just like women, men also love receiving gifts from their loved one. The only difference is that men gets more satisfied with whatever their girl give them whatever is the cost. Most of the time, men gives women clothes, makeups, bags, jewelries, car, house, etc. But with men, they are contented with a simple letter with a t-shirt of his favorite brand. I guess, that's life and that's how it really is. Feels good to be a woman. But still, I never fail to give my bf a gift, even just a simple one, when it is his birthday or our anniversary. :)
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
5 May 10
Hi Reco... Thanks for your innocent and nice reply... And you know what, I agree with you... Yes, men truly appreciate it, when they receive gifts from their ladies... Have fun!
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
3 May 10
Men are good gift givers. Sometimes they give gifts for the wrong reasons, but their hearts were in the right place. I believe that women are equal to the task at giving gifts. Women can also great gift giving style. One gender doesn't own this.
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
6 May 10
Hello sender... Thanks for sharing... I agree with you that men are good at heart but sometimes make mistakes because they fail to understand their ladies. And yet, their hearts are generally true to their ladies... How I wish, ladies could understand this... I am kidding.. I know there are many happy couples around and both of them understand each other very well... E.G. my fiancee and I understand each other thoroughly... It may that that we've been through a lot before we met with each other and our maturity helps us understand each other... Oh, how I miss her today... Well, thanks for sharing my friend... Have a wonderful time!