Are People Who Are Judgemental Happy In Their Own Skin and Life?

@KrauseHome (36634)
United States
September 20, 2011 5:14pm CST
Lately it seems I have run into so many different types of people. Since I work with a lot of people who are of all colors and from all over, it sometimes seems like that can be the worst for sure. There are also many people from so many different backgrounds, religions etc. that sometimes it is really hard to find a way to ever get along. Many times it is the people who are Black making comments I find offensive like "What is he doing with someone like Tina." ... "As you can tell I am White, and a blonde." Or the comments I am racist because this offends me, or the comments they make that Obama is Black 100% even though his mom is white. Truthfully I know not everyone is going to get along with some of these issues, but truthfully if I act offended than I am at wrong, and they can talk anyway they want. Personally this is one other reason I will NEVER miss the job I am at, and often wonder if this is why many of them are there. Because they know they would never be Happy where they would never get away with talking like this. Many times they say that it is about time they get some respect, but never show it? How can we when there is none needing to be shown? Lately it is even going beyond this in judging me on my Health, etc. Makes me wish somehow that we could go back to where everyone could just get along and quit thinking that they are OK. I could care less if you are Black, White, Green or Purple. All I am asking is for some of this racism and personal judging needs to STOP and people need to learn to be comfortable in their own skin if they are going to be out in the world, or move back and watch as the world seems to quickly pass them by. ~~TINA~~
8 people like this
21 responses
• United States
20 Sep 11
I really don't know why people are the way they are. Everyone is judgmental to a point. Kind if like comparing them to yourself. Like if someone you work with doesn't carry their load and it falls back on you because you work with them. You could be working twice as hard as the other person but you get blamed for whatever is wrong. That would tick me off big time.
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36634)
• United States
27 Sep 11
What bugs me most is since Obama took office some people think that because they are Black they are greater, and tend to act prejudice towards white people. They even are the first ones to call me racist. I just think personally they need to realize that they are not the only ones here on this Earth, and God did not make them gods, so why are they continuing to act and feel like this?
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Sep 11
My adopted mom is black and she isn't prejudice at all... but she loves Obmama. Of course she does.. he is the first black man to become president of the United States... Oh well I hope that Herman Cain will be the SECOND president of the United States... something you do not see too much.. a black REPUBLICAN. I would also vote for Connie Rice... but I NEVER voted for Obmama. There are prejudiced people everywhere... when we point our fingers at others and start judging them we have become prejudiced. It's hard not to be that way when we feel we have been mistreated or disrespected in some way. It happens.. we are all human.. no matter what color we are.
3 people like this
@KrauseHome (36634)
• United States
5 Nov 11
Personally I wish so many people would quit bashing Herman Cain as bad as they are doing. I have not seen anything really wrong with moost of the things I have heard what he stands for. I think personally he is someone that Congress needs to help get things back on track. But unfortunately there are too many people out there leary about him and trying to bash him, so I do not think he is going to be a choice at all.
@MsTickle (25051)
• Australia
27 Sep 11
When you criticize people for acting a certain way or saying certain things, aren't you being judgemental yourself? I'm not saying it's just you...we all do it. I've begun a few discussions accusing people of this or that, usually actions or behaviour that gets under my skin, but then I have realised that I am being just as bad. Maybe it comes back to the old adage - "If you cannot say anything nice then don't say anything at all."
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36634)
• United States
23 Dec 11
Actually I have thought the same thing, so personally I do not say anything anymore or try to say anything that someone says or does that I know it not for the Best. Especially when it comes to Diabetes. Most of the people I find who seem to be judgemental about this, either are lacking lots of information or another Diabetic having lots of problems with control themselves.
@bounce58 (17457)
• Canada
23 Sep 11
My son just started kindergarten this fall. And their class is a bit multicultural. There are whites, asians, blacks, hispanics, etc in the class. Yet when I see them, specially when I go to pick up my son, I see that the the kids can see past the color of their skins. They all get along. They share things, they play, and they even hold hands together when they are walking. Maybe everybody should go back to kindergarten?! There is something so pure and innocent at that young age, that it is great to see that there is no judgement, yet.
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36634)
• United States
22 Dec 11
Yes, there are a lot of times when kids will look beyond color, and hold hands and be friends. Then as they get older, or if they have a parent directing their actions they start to change, and many of them never realize just how hurting they can be. But when you choose to judge someone differently for their color and actions most of the time you and often judging yourself.
@derek_a (10898)
23 Sep 11
HI Tina, In my experience, people who are judgemental are rarely happy, but alway have some criticism of other people or events. It stands to reason really.. How can one be happy if their minds are focused on criticism. Criticism is very negative. Some do it because they feel that can do better, but even if they can, they would be far happier if they gave others the space to learn as they once had to. I amd a Zen practitioner and pracice daily meditation and one thing that this meditation has taught me is that as souls, we have our trials and lessons to learn. The most powerful lesson is forgiveness, but it is also the hardest. To forgive those who judge and criticize is difficult, as we want them to stop doing this. I have also learned that we have to find our own ability for compassion as it is not something that can be taught. As a teenager I can't say that I had much compassion. I wasn't cruel or anything, but only interested in my own little world. Then when I started meditation, I developed compassion and feeling for the plight of others - no matter who they were or where they came from. I've got to be hones and say that to feel in such a way came as a surprise to me. I had empathy and had never experienced it before. Nobody taught me to be that way, because it was already within me but hidden away. I discovered that if I could support others in trouble, the rewards of giving were a gift to me. To give is to receive... This I discovered is so very ture. _Derek
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36634)
• United States
22 Dec 11
This is so true. Most of the time when people are being judgemental on something it is usually something that they are lacking themselves. I see this many times when it comes to people who are Diabetic. Many of them will be the first ones to judge and tell you how you should eat, etc. but then the next minute they are drinking a regular soda, eating something that is spiking them, and not taking their medications like they should. Really makes me wonder for sure.
@jennybianca (12913)
• Australia
22 Sep 11
Sometimes I think you are spot on, with people who are very judgemental being unhappy with their lives. To a certain extent we are all judgemental I guess. This issue is a complex one with a lot of physchology in it. Some peole are brought up in ways that will almost certainly encourage extreme sensitity, and unless they look at their own personality, they are unlik;ey to change. I try not to make any racist comments, as I am not racist, but on the odd occasion people have hinted that I wrote a racist type comment. It is very hard to not offend some people, despite my best intentions.
@KrauseHome (36634)
• United States
18 Dec 11
That is for sure. I think sometimes people are so unhappy in their own skin that anytime anyone says even the slightest thing about something it offends them. Mine sometimes is just saying I live in an area that I feel safe to walk during the day, but would never do it later in the day or night. I live in a mixed community and have had people take it the wrong way, even though I am a woman.
@celticeagle (122950)
• Boise, Idaho
21 Sep 11
People who are judgemental are afraid of themselves. I think people who are judgemental are lacking in these areas themselves. If a person is talking in a way that is not appropriate I move away from this person. Not impressed and not wasting my time. Judgemental or cutting to the good stuff?
@KrauseHome (36634)
• United States
15 Dec 11
Personally I think a lot of times it is because they know they are not perfect and have faults, but when they tend to judge on things that they themselves are having huge issues with, then this is something that amazes me. But personally when they are people who are constantly doing this, I tend to often leave them to themselves.
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
21 Sep 11
Hi, KrauseHome. Many people that are judgmental are not happy at all. I don't understand why some people are so hateful. It is like they refuse to accept anything positive that can make others happy. Some people just want to see others just as miserable as they are too. Well that isn't going to happen! I enjoy being around many people from all over the world. To tell you the truth, I have met many wonderful people from foreign countries that have accepted me as an individual. It feels really good to be able to get along with just about anyone, no matter, the color of their skin, gender, culture, creed, heritage, beliefs, norms and status/role into society. People judge me all of the time. They even try to get into my business by coming by my house just to speak to me. When I really know the REAL reason why they came, is just to check to see if I still living in the same location that I am at now. Well, I am still here. The only way that I move from out of this mobile home, is if God allows my family and I to vacate elsewhere, until then, their speculating into my life needs to stop! I don't understand why some people are so judgmental. Only God can judge us one by one, not people on people. Honestly, KrauseHome, I love white people. I lived in a neighborhood that had many white people that lived where I was living too. My second best friend was a white girl. She was the most nicest female that I have ever met, that was of a different race than I was. We got along so well. She made me many beautiful crafts that I could use to take home with me. She was very creative and intellectual. She was very nice, mature and respectable to me. We used to walk from our classes together. I felt really sad after she left. As the years went by, I was mistreated by people that was of the same race that I was, or at least was. I am not fully African American as the people that hated on me were. I was teased by African American people and what made it so bad sometimes they even had white people laughing at me too! I don't mean to sound mean, but that is what they did to make me feel like I didn't belong. I have been through so much of prejudice and mainly it was by African Americans. It is so sad that people can be so hateful to a person that they don't even know or have never started one simple conversation with. Everyday, I wish that the world was a better place for everyone. I dislike seeing people discriminate against others because they know that they would not like the same thing done to them either! I don't understand why people may do the nasty things that they do to others. I do know that, God is watching them and someday if they don't repent, they will suffer terribly.
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36634)
• United States
15 Dec 11
Don't you just wonder sometimes why people are allowed to think like this? Most of them were even raised like this. My FIL would not want to work where I do, or even be around as I am a minority there, and he is very prejudice. Many times the problem is people forget to look at people as people. When you start feeling you are better because of Color, or because your HEALTH is good, etc. watch out. Because in time what decides to come around may not be what you were really wanting around. I feel it is time for a wake up call and for people to put negativities aside and like people for who they are and not base it on anything else.
@cerebellum (3870)
• United States
21 Sep 11
I am sorry to say that you might come in contact with people like this no matter what job you are at. There is no basic difference between people of any color, except how they are raised. Some people are raised to feel superior to others, and some people aren't happy with themselves and they transfer it to others.
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36634)
• United States
10 Dec 11
That is so True, and it is a shame that people are actually taught and raised to be like this. You would think that people would quit blaming others for all the problems they have in life, and take it upon themselves to be the Best they know how to be. In reality there are Good people and Bad people no matter whether you are Black, White, Red, Brown, Green, or Purple.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37379)
• United States
21 Sep 11
Totally agree! I also work in an enviroment where there is people of different race and background....sometimes others are very judgemental...and say things they shouldn't. So I know what you mean!
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36634)
• United States
30 Nov 11
The biggest problem is most of them have never walked in someone else's shoes before or are suffering from things themselves and afraid to admit it, and then judge someone else for what they do, and then either that wake up and apologize, or something happens to them or their family Health wise, etc. and then they no longer can feel like they know everything and finally might even understand.
@daeckardt (6244)
• United States
31 Oct 11
Hi Tina, I totally agree with you on that! Color is only skin deep and if people would just look at a person for who they are rather than what they look like the world would be a much better place. So many problems in the world seem to be related to race or religion and that is really sad. We should be happy with the diversity of our planet instead of trying to make it as if we are all the same. Thanks for bringing this up!
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36634)
• United States
7 Jan 12
This is so True, and it is so sad that even now still it has gone back to more of this. What ever happened to what Martin Luther King and some of the others have done to help change some of this? Has it gone back to color instead of we are people and no one is different than any other? Truthfully I know it is not this way everywhere but when it becomes like this where some people tend to think they are better than others because of this, this is wrong, and people need to reevaluate themselves for sure.
@dawnald (84076)
• Shingle Springs, California
29 Oct 11
Naw, I think judgmental people are mostly unhappy and insecure....
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36634)
• United States
2 Jan 12
Yes, I think people that are always trying to find fault and judge someone a lot of times are unhappy. I think as well most of them are dealing with some Medical problems or something themselves and instead of dealing with their own issues they feel it best to be in control of someone else. I see it too many times, especially with my being Diabetic from another Diabetic and it a shame for sure.
• Canada
30 Sep 11
I don't think judgemental people are happy at all. I think they think that they can gain something they do not have in their lives, by attempting to take it away from others, bringing others down to their level, instead of bringing themselves up to the level of everyone else. If they were happy in their own lives, they would not have time to be judgemental of others.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36634)
• United States
2 Jan 12
That is a really good way to look at this my friend, and so True. Many times especially when it comes to Health so many people are quite judgemental, and it is a shame. Just because they have never been there where someone else is at, and be careful or it could backfire on them. I know many times they are thinking they know it all and are better than someone when usually I notice in turn they are doing things I would certainly question for sure.
@toniganzon (55745)
• Philippines
21 Sep 11
I am not a racist and i hate it when some people are being discriminatory especially when it comes to the color of the skin. I think those people making judgments are actually insecure and not happy with what they have.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36634)
• United States
30 Nov 11
I feel this is so true, and the ones who are like this, especially if they are Christian makes no real sense to me at all. I mean just because you might be White, brown, black, whatever does not mean you are any better or different than anyone else, so why do you have to act it? People that are like this usually get themselves in trouble many times just because of being this way as well.
• Philippines
21 Sep 11
We should consider that we cannot please everyone. There are people who are judgmental because they are insecure. You don't have problem, it is there problem. Let them have cruelties in their minds at least you are not the same with them. Judgmental people are never get contended on what they have. They need to look good always because they don't want that people could have a comment on them. They loved to judged and condemned yet they don't want it to happen in their own selves. It may sounds like unfair to you being judged by other people who don't even know you, yet you need to understand that we can never please everyone. It may be irritating yet they are used to it and we just need to understand it.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36634)
• United States
24 Nov 11
Insecure does really explain a lot of it. Or they have a lot of personal issues with Health etc. going on to where they are often only thinking about themselves and when they cannot relate they want to pass judgement or think that they are better than someone else. I often think if they could just put their feet and life in someone else's shoes to see how they really live, a lot of these comments and reactions would never happen for sure.
@kalav56 (11497)
• India
21 Sep 11
I am sorry for how people behave. I am in my own country and from my extremely limited experience[mine is confined to my interaction with my son's friends and these people are very highly qualified], I always find a camraderie that transcends barriers of race or religion. You are talking of interracial interactions. WIthin our country there are many resentments harbouring on account of upper caste and lower caste and superiority and condescensions along with it. In our region, there is a marked animosity towards this so called upper caste because some hundred years ago the lower caste people were looked down upon. It is all a bygone story but peole just indulge in this anti-"so and so" just for the sake of it. People become judgemental within families. What do we do about it? WHen it hits our ears , we try to interact less.We can do nothing other than this. WHere it cannot be avoided, it is really a problem. Judging needs to stop and people do need to let things go but unfortunately, people's reaction is always based on some justified and unjustified prejudices arising out of their personal interactions and experiences.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36634)
• United States
24 Nov 11
This is so true. Often a lot of times people do still tend to base things on what you have, instead of just being people, and then wonder why people have such a hard time getting along with them for sure. I think in reality most people who tend to act this way need to put their feet on the other side before somehow in time they have to live it, and then wish they could take it all back.
• United States
21 Sep 11
I tend to believe that it is has to do with how they were raised and or their surroundings. This may not be true for everyone but I noticed the few that I have personally encountered have are all the same in the family. I can understand people having their own opinions and or being judgmental, but what I do not get is why hurt others in the process.
@KrauseHome (36634)
• United States
13 Nov 11
Sometimes I think it all has to do with the way that a person is raised. Especially if they grow up in an area, like say is predominately only one color, and then they move to an area that is a mix of colors. Many times it is also because there are problems going on in their own life, either Health or something to where they have become defensive or act defensive about something instead of give opinions as well. (Especially when they are Diabetic, or having issues like that.)
@SIMPLYD (89775)
• Philippines
21 Sep 11
I think people who are judgmental are not that happy with themselves. They tend to judge people, because they themselves , have flaws that they do not want to accept. So, they bring on to people their frustrations, and gets happy judging a person negatively. Sad, but it's true.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36634)
• United States
5 Nov 11
I totally agree with this one. Yes, it is one thing to be having a Bad day but to go around all the time making comments against another person, or bragging about your race never stopping to think how it might affect someone else, that is wrong indeed. If more people could put themselves in others shoes before they ever speak first, what a better world this would be.
@GardenGerty (112459)
• United States
21 Sep 11
I do not know if it is genetic or environmental. I tend to think it is environmental. They are repeating comments and behaviors that they grew up around. You have to try hard to make the choice to be different from your family. Lucky for us people do this occasionally.
@KrauseHome (36634)
• United States
5 Nov 11
Well, personally it could be environmental for sure, and many times it could be because they are not used to being around a lot of different cultures so they tend to be a little more negative and judgemental never stopping to think what if they were to put their shoes on another's feet. It can really be annoying and sad when you hear them make comments derogatory almost against you and something and never stop to think what if it was them.
@Bluedoll (16941)
• Canada
20 Sep 11
I think there are differences in cultures and where people live and grow up. There should be or we would all be the same and that would just be boring. Sure, sometimes those differences cause conflict but that does not mean we have to fight over it. I have a neighbour which is loud and it use to annoy me very much. They speak Spanish and make a whole lot of noise in their conversations. That is not the way I was raised nor behave but then I thought, "have they harmed me?" The answer was no. Now I have accepted their ways and am not bothered by their differences, after all, as the topic says I can be happy if I let others be themselves and still maintain the way I want to be. I do not hear too much up here about the colour thing where I live in Canada though. Maybe that has something to do with the winter where everyone regardless of skin tone is white. It is true, honest. :-)
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36634)
• United States
5 Nov 11
Well the biggest problem sometimes I think is people are not HAPPY in their own skin and so it makes things harder for people to where they only think about themselves and how and what they believe in, and not someone else's feelings. When it comes to differences like this I wish they would not wave their color around and scream prejudice. They need to just accept that sometimes the way they treat White people makes us feel inferior as well.
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
20 Sep 11
I think some of them are. Some people are judgemental because they are wise to people and know they could be better than what they present themselves to be. Other people are judgemental just because they like to make others feel bad or they just do not like to accept people for who they are.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36634)
• United States
24 Sep 11
There could be some Truth to that for sure. People who are just not willing to accept someone else for who they are especially if they are taught to think they are better, or not be as accepting of someone else because of Color, religion, etc. as well.