Funny story
By ElicBxn
@ElicBxn (64169)
United States
October 18, 2011 9:04pm CST
I find this kind of strange - not so much if the person in question was 14-18 but they aren't.
This friend of mine "C" (who is 6 years older than I am) was upset because a friend of ours', "J", mom was over "W".
Now, "J" is young enough for her to be her mother... and "W" is, in fact only a couple of years older than "C" is.
Another friend, "L", who is about my age had her parents in town and they stopped by, didn't even come in, but "C" was upset because "there were grown ups" over.
I call my roommate's, "V", mom by her first name, "K", (heck, I called "C"'s mom by her first name - why? because I met them as adults) anyway, I said something about "K" and "C" said: "Who?"
I replied that it was the "V"'s mom, and she said that she never thought of her as "K" but as "Mrs. ...." or "V"'s mom.
I said: "She's only 10 years older than you are." (Actually 9 1/2ish)
Fact is - she's closer to "K"'s age than "V"'s age since "V" is 7 years younger than I am. (less 9 days)
I find this strange... but that's just me... what do you think?
[i]
(Names have been removed to protect anyone who might want to be protected.)[/i]
7 people like this
16 responses
@nanajanet (4436)
• United States
19 Oct 11
My children's friends either call me "Mrs. xxxxx" or "Miss Jxxxx". If they met me through my dance school, and they were friends of my daughter, it's Miss... and if from school or the neighborhood it's Mrs....
My parents' friends were always Mr., Mrs., Miss and close ones may be Aunt or Uncle.
Even the adult friends of my children, who met me, call me one or the other, not my first name. I am from the old school where you do not call elders by their first name, unless you are invited to do so. I think that is a sign of respect.
3 people like this
@Maggiepie (7816)
• United States
20 Oct 11
And I'm NOT a liberal. In fact, I was reared in a culture which called for one to always use last names of one's elders, as a sign of respect, until given permission to do otherwise. I've never lost the habit, because I like it; it makes sense.
I do understand...Different strokes for different generations...& perhaps places. You see, the Southern culture is far different from your childhood culture (moderately liberal New Jersey). Shrug. I wouldn't become "upset" as you say C was. I'd only recognize a different POV at play, that's all.
But I was there the day you mentioned, & what I heard C say was "Oops! Grown-ups!" And she was grinning. It was a kind of self-deprecating joke. I heard her later explain that the older people there reminded her that, even though she was an adult, the elders seemed of a different age, so much older, & acted at level of adulthood. Different from her, as she'd grown up with far less responsibility, & therefore felt less entitled to the level of respect she shows her "elders." She'd had a "Peter Pan moment." :o)
It was a sign of respect, surely, & sadly, in this overly-familiar age, where total strangers (such as TV reporters) feel free to call people by their first names, & ask personal questions. No wonder we're blanketed with intense, TMI "reality" shows on TV. I'd like to see respect & courtesy return, at least to having folks ASK if it's all right to use familiar names before assuming it's okay.
I'm just sayin'....
Maggiepie
"A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always count on the support of Paul." ~ Source unknown
Maggiepie
"A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always count on the support of Paul." ~ Source unknown1 person likes this
@hardworkinggurl (37062)
• United States
19 Oct 11
Most of the friends of my kids call me by Mommy +(my last name). I think it is because I know them for so many years since they were little. At first I thought it was kind of cute and with time adapted to it. As adults they still call me Mommy+(my last name).
I think it is what one is comfortable doing as I personally have not called anyone I know on a personal level by Mrs.. Usually I use their first name.
@ElicBxn (64169)
• United States
19 Oct 11
I guess because I've only been mom to cats, nobody's ever called me "Mommy" anything - but I do find that what someone is called by you as a child continues to be called that as an adult.
My uncle was always referred to as "Bus" and my mom as "Sis" by the family and close friends of the family.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169479)
• United States
19 Oct 11
Hey, I got lost in the alphabet soup. And I even think I know a few of them. I guess I think that you guys are all grown up and should act that way. 
I have friends that vary in age from about my kid's age to about my parent's age, and we all call each other by first names. I am not "Mrs. E" but simply "H". Easier that way all around.
I have friends that vary in age from about my kid's age to about my parent's age, and we all call each other by first names. I am not "Mrs. E" but simply "H". Easier that way all around.
@GardenGerty (169479)
• United States
19 Oct 11
Makes life simpler at this point.
1 person likes this
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
20 Oct 11
I think that's too much emphasis on age, when all are mature adults.
2 people like this
@timetravel (1424)
• United States
19 Oct 11
First of all, this is an excellent way to teach a child the alphabet! LOL! Second - I never ever introduced myself as "Mrs." or "Ms." anyone to my kids' friends - I always said, "I'm Jeanne". When I was growing up, I called most adults whatever name they used when they introduced themselves. I babysat for one woman who said to call her Rose, because that was her name. Not Miss Rose. Just Rose. I was thirteen at the time. With my kids, I would refer to their friends parents by their first names, and my kids would get confused when those parents wanted to be called "Miss Diane" or "Miss Caroline". Now that they are both young adults, there's no confusion. My son figures if another adult calls him "Paul" then he has the right to address him or her by his or her first name.
Age is often not a factor - just personal preference.
3 people like this
@ElicBxn (64169)
• United States
19 Oct 11
Well, I don't have kids, but when I met a kid, I tell them my first name.
Will they remember it... probably not at first.
Would you believe the first adult I called by her first name was when I was 4 or so, this mother of a friend wanted to be known by her first name. Even when she was a judge at the district court, to me she was still "M P".
Its like going into the vets, I call ALL my vets by their first names. Granted, I've known one since she was 3, I've run into another one at a party.
"C" asked me to call her mom "Mrs. ..." but I refused. If we were going to live together and I was an adult, I was an equal, no titles here.
I do think that in the 1950's when I was calling "M P" by her first name it was unusual to call a respected adult by their first name, but the '60 & '70's changed that.
1 person likes this
@danishcanadian (28954)
• Canada
20 Oct 11
Yeah, seems a little strange to me too.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
24 Oct 11
this was too hard for me to follow lol, to much of the alphabet, I got mixed up
1 person likes this
@estherlou (5015)
• United States
20 Oct 11
I'm sorry...my eyes kind of glazed over trying to keep all of the letters straight in my mind. Were you asking about calling adults by their first names instead of using Mrs. so and so? I guess it depends on how informal the relationship and if the adult has given permission.
2 people like this
@leeloo (1492)
• Portugal
19 Oct 11
I think that is more to do with individual people and also their language and culture. The levels of formality have changed over time. In times gone by just because someone was of a different social standing to you, even if you they treated you by your first name they were always treated with a title attached to their name. Now I think people can call each other by their first names and still be formal, it is all in the manner with which the conversation is held this also reflects on how people meet. A co-worker, is generally treated by their first name, now if you are friends before eg know each other from school a little less formality in the way you talk there will be a more fluid relationship, but if you meet your co-worker for the first time at work, even though you treat him by his/her first name it will probably be a semi-formal until you get to know each other better. In all these cases age has nothing to do with it because the uniting factor is the work you do.
I will admit that treating people a lot older (older then parents and grandparents) then me by their first name still bugs me, I grew up with very formal background, but I have no qualms with kids and teens calling me by my first name, so I suffer a double standard. At least English dos not have multiple pro-form pro-nouns in their language which means each form has a different way so speaking with their own words and pacing which can be annoying.
PS I actually drew a diagram to follow all the letters to understand what was going on.
1 person likes this
@jerzgirl (9384)
• United States
22 Oct 11
When I was little, I called our neighbors by their first names because that's how I was introduced to them. We lived in a rural community where we never locked the doors until bedtime and didn't knock to go into our neighbor's home. We were as much family with our neighbors as we were with family. Yet, I was raised to call other adults Mr. and Mrs., so when I met Tom's parents, who are actually 6 and 13 years older than me, I felt compelled to call them Mr. & Mrs. because they were HIS parents, not MY friends. They put a stop to it after a while, but I still have a hard time calling them by their first names even though I've known them for 10 years. It just doesn't feel right, somehow. So, I can actually see both sides to this one. And, I'm not sure there's anything wrong with either one - but she should be more understanding of your perspective even if she doesn't follow it herself.
1 person likes this
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
19 Oct 11
I prefer to be called by my first name. I introduce myself as Marissa. If and/or when I'm addressed as Mrs Shelley I automatically respond...Mrs Shelley is my Mother-in-Law, I prefer Marissa!!! When I got married, my sister-in-law insisted that her children call me Aunt Marissa. I told the children to just call me Marissa. When she heard her son address me as Marissa, she jumped all over him. I took her aside & explained that I understood that I had just become an aunt to her 3 children, but I preferred that they drop the aunt. She didn't like it, but I put my foot down & she finally gave in!!! With me, it depends on the person as to how I address them. My work involves me with a lot of elderly couples. Their age & familiarity often sets the tone as to whether I call them by the first name or as Mr/Mrs. I have one couple who I have known for 15 years & I still call them Mr & Mrs xxx. I've noticed that most of the people I call Mr or Mrs that don't care for it will immediately say call me...(whatever). I find how you address someone is a personal preference not only for yourself, but also for the person you're addressing!!! 
@ElicBxn (64169)
• United States
19 Oct 11
I would agree with that.
I'm just a few years shy of 60 now and I find that most of the folks where my mom lived preferred to be called by their first names, but there was one who I was totally intimidated by and always greeted her by Mrs. M....
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
19 Oct 11
Okay I got a little lost with the alphabet thing but I think I got the gist …I never, ever introduce myself as Mrs._____ because I hate it! My name is Paula and that is what I expect people young and old to call me. I very rarely call anyone else Mrs., Miss etc. Mu young daughter’s friends call me by my first name or simply ____’s mum!
2 people like this
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
19 Oct 11
I call most people by their first names. A lot of times they say to call them by it. I have a strange habit of calling my friend's parents exactly that, Cheryl's mom or Peggy's dad instead of saying a name. When talking to them I wouldn't say any name at all but that is how I discribed them. My one friend's mother used to send me a Christmas card signed Cheryl's mom.
@BarBaraPrz (51819)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
19 Oct 11
Is this a pop quiz?
Alphabet soup first thing in the morning, really!
