Sometimes guests make unnecessary suggestions, give unsolicited ideas --

A couple of months ago I had 3 gusts - my relatives. I keep my key on the front door during the day and remove it before retiring as it is easy for anyone to go in and out without bothering others.My property is well secured. One of the guests removes the key and keeps it on the centre table. We were all outside at that time and when I decided to get in I realised that we were locked out. Fortunately my kitchen entrance was open and I hate anyone using that door and least of all my guests. Her argument was that it is not safe to keep the key on the door. Well I definitely know what is good for me and what is not and this high handedness almost cost me a break in! It is very annoying when guests decide for us

Dear Kalav I have been on the recieving end of these sane and sage advices from almost all my guests who have so many beliefs and comments to share for me Seriously speaking, for many who come up with those once or twice druing their stay, I dont mind and always try to consider them seriously. But for those who frequently comment and suggest the same old stuff all over and over, I initially start out with a patient listening and then end up in avoiding the confrontations. I know, I am disorganized, spend more time on the Internet than many others in my real world, do not have a regular job and also work from home, have a couple of illness to attend to and I think these are more important than spending hours sulking or pondering over the advices that people normally come up with for me. Neither are they in my situation nor will the understand... so no point in trying to make them understand... At least I know my limits and when not to start

Hi Kalav, this isn't really new... There are people who like to thurst their opinions where they're not asked for... And they don't realise that they cause such awkward situations to the host.. And all the time, when the audacious guest is thursting unwanted suggestions, the host isn't able to tell them to keep it to themselves... A host must play a good host... And that encourages the guest who is under the impression that his host is accepting his suggestions... LoL... Wodehouse could have made a book out of this, a successful n hilarious one!

Hate to say this...but it is true! Usually "in one ear...and out the other!" Give creedence with polite acknowledgment...and move on! You know the old expression "until you have walked a mile in my mocassins"...well, until you have lived AND thrived substantially under the challenges that face me on a small, small Island...your comments are heard, but seldom acted upon! I get so many suggestions on the "cyber" world...DUH, we only have one ISP here! That means take it or leave it...or put in your own expensive satellite system! Get this Cell Phone, or that one...DUH, most of the areas...there is NO reception! I get the one that works here...NO CHOICE! So, many people...have so much to say about how they would improve things...! I don't do CREDIT! When I can afford it...I do it! Sorry, kalav...I am cranky this morning, woke up with a head cold...at 1"30 a.m. and now it's 3:20! Got out of the wrong side of the bed! I did! LOL!

Actually i dont like those unwanted ideas and moreover i less listen to others. Please dont mind kala di. Just my humble comment. Have a nice time.

My guest went back today, i am relieved now, actually she is a distant relation of my daughter, she came our home quite unexpectedly, that too not alone but with her husband and another girl.. She stayed here for long 7 days, was nosy in every matter, believe me kalavji.. You know hubby is ill, me too, because i can't walk barefooted due to burning sensation in soles, i wear socks always, she will always argue on this, as if it was her house and i am guest there!!! I disliked this, hubby told me to drive her away, but i didn't.. Thanks for sharing Have a nice day ahead.

I listen to their advice, as sometimes people offer me time saving advice. I'm aware that not everyone will like how my home is set up and some want me to make changes now. There are certain things I won't change. The easiest thing to do is thank them for their advice and move the conversation to another subject.

Most people are too afraid to try that with me because I do have a habit of being rather direct back at them, as in the example of the lady who complained that I didn't have enough chairs and I informed her that was to keep people from coming over and sitting down.

I have experienced these kind of guests at times. And since I am a single parent I think it is all the more where people are always giving advises about what I should do and what not to do. It is a bit irritating at times but have to politely just keep my mouth shut!

I am pretty open, if someone offers a suggestion I will consider it and always thank that person, I just assume they meant it in good spirit. I know that there are many ways to do things and want my guest to all feel comfortable if possible. After all wouldn't you rather people who have visited you say, I really taught her how to do that. Or say wasn't that a terrible visit she was so stupid and didn't know how to handle that.

I have had many such experiences.In fact one of my aunts wanted my entire routine changed to suit hers.Like change the furniture around in the bed room given to her which was ok with me since I felt that she may have certain reservations ...But she also wanted t change everything else, like moving houseplants around in the hall to keep a chair there etc etc....LOL, it was not only irritating and annoying but downright funny because she seemed to think that she was helping me out.Since she is in her seventies we decided to humor her...But there have been others too who are free wit their advises and criticisms - I just listen to them and do what I have to do.If there is some constructive suggestion, I am definitely open to them...

who exactly was saying this, I'm assuming it wasn't someone closely related to the person. are you talking about somebody coming into your home and saying this to you? I remember a discussion a few months ago very similar to this situation. Nobody who is a guest should be rude, well in fact nobody should ever be rude in general. I think the person is probably a snob or maybe they are just genuinely trying to give some good advice, I would have to see their delivery. either way I'm sure it wasn't a comfortable situation and guest's should be respectful. reminds me of Everybody Loves Raymond when the grandmother always comes in and is critical of everything Debra does lol.

I think that is happening because you tell your guests "feel yourself like home " so the guest thinks "well since this is my home i think i will start changing some things around here "

Hi kalav56! If I do not know the person who gives unsolicited ideas that are negative or offending, I will feel hurt of course. One thing I have learned, (and I am proud to say I learned that here in mylot) people come from different parts of the world and we are brought up in different ways so things that may seem offending to the receiver be not offensive to the giver. That is why we all have boundaries. Unless we truly understand the person's background or culture, we can never be sure if our ideas will hurt them or not. So as a receiver of those ideas, I will just let them pass. If they are my friend then I will have courage to correct them or inform them that they are offending me. I know I can hear everything but I decided to listen only to those things that can develop me as an individual :)

I don't think anyone would dare make any suggestions to me for fear of having their head bit off. Seriously, that's rude. I have had people try and keep me calm under the stress of trying to have every part of a meal be ready at the same time but no one tell me HOW to do it. They want it done differently they can do it themselves. Honestly, I don't "entertain" very often. Just not my forte. My father commented once about how my kitchen floor needed sweeping. This was a little out of character for my father but he said I could get ants. My mother chastised him because I had just given birth days earlier. I was dealing with a newborn. The last thing I was thinking about was cleaning my house! My mother-in-law complained once about my kitchen tap. "Oh, how can you live with this?" she said. My response was to point at her son. I couldn't stand it either but it wasn't up to me to buy a new one and install it. My husband did do it not too long after that. Actually, my husband's brothers came last month to help install a new kitchen in our home. They came from 3 provinces away on the east coast. The one brother wanted to tear a wall down. He said their mother thought they should do it too. WTH! They live so far away, they never visit... what the heck are they doing telling me how to renovate my house? Which I said to him. The one brother (and mil) like open concept along with my husband, the other brother was with me. I don't care for open concept. The guy carried on for an hour. Fortunately they are nice enough guys that I was able to joke with them and speak my mind in a lighthearted manner.

Oh yes this is most agitating. When I go to someone else's house, no matter how much I have to criticize, I never really open my mouth unless I am asked for my opinion. And when that happens, I am going to choose my words in a rather careful manner, as to not come off as a bit too overbearing. There is times where people want an opinion but not too strong of an opinion. Yet there are people who just seem to be booming out suggestions. I think that many of them are rather trying to help in their own way but perhaps they should mind their manners. Then again, there are just going to be others who really have not the slightest idea of anything that they are talking about. Then there are those who are rather just enjoy being critical to bring others down. It is quite the frustrating cycle to deal with.