Would you marry a foreigner for money and stability?

@Aja103654 (5654)
Philippines
March 23, 2013 8:11am CST
In my country, I am a little sad to say that women prefer foreign men because they have money and they can provide them with a secure and stable future. I see many women even younger than I am cling to their foreign partners dressed in such a sexy manner and being covered from head to toe with jewelry. It upsets me that women resort to marriage just so they can have these luxuries. Some say it is for their future and for their the future of their family. They want to live a comfortable life where they won't go hungry. Some people can change so much and become greedy instantly when they are get such an opportunity. I don't want to be that kind of woman. Some male foreigners have taken a bit of interest in women like me. But I refuse to let myself get involved with them that way. I am okay with being friends and everything, but being a lover is not something I find good. I don't want to marry someone for stability and money alone. I also refuse to give up my independence. I refuse to let the man do everything for me and leave all the money making stuff to him. I want to be an independent person capable of taking care of herself and not relying on any man for her to live. What about you?
9 people like this
43 responses
• India
23 Mar 13
I have a foreigner husband and I have reached to this experience that wish I was wife of one poor in my country I could be happier than having foreign husband. marriage is good with the same one in your country, same language, same culture, same religion. it is not good to marry foreigner man for anything, not love, not money not anything else, it does not have any value for it.
1 person likes this
@dagami (1162)
• Rome, Italy
23 Mar 13
inter racial marriages are common nowadays. what is important is that there is LOVE, trust, and confidence between the couple. the cultural and religious differences will not matter if both of you are open minded. if you speak a common language then communicating won't be hard either. i too am married with someone who comes from a different race and religion but these hasn't affected our relationship. we've been together and happy for ten years.
@Aja103654 (5654)
• Philippines
23 Mar 13
It will depend on both person as to how they manage their relationship. If both are open minded, understanding and treat each other like equals, the relationship will be strong.
• Mexico
23 Mar 13
Yes, but you love him right? All the marriage isnt for money?
@stanley777 (7251)
• Philippines
24 Mar 13
I guess, this happens not only in our country but to some third world countries as well. Most of them for security reasons maybe because it's the quickest way to attained that dream. But not all live happily because some relationships went sour for some reasons. Just imagine, an older man marrying a girl almost triple his age or even younger. But these foreigners have reasons too why they picked woman from our country, because our women are caring, and some are willing to take care of their husbands up to the end.
@alottodo (3061)
• Australia
24 Mar 13
Yes and some live a very miserable life as well!
• Philippines
24 Mar 13
Yes there are some who are not fortunate enough to find husband who fulfills what they had promised before their marriage. And because some of them were united out of love especially from the girl, sometimes some husband physically abuses the wife or treats them like slave.
@Aja103654 (5654)
• Philippines
27 Mar 13
Which is why it is very critical to know the person we plan to marry and we must always think about a contingency plan to deal with the possibly horrible outcomes of the marriage.
@WakeUpKitty (8699)
• Netherlands
24 Mar 13
If the foreigners wouldn't be there women would go for a man who can take care of them as well. Or the parents would look for the "perfect" match and arrange a marriage. This is nothing new, it's world wide the same already since ages. BTW also men, especially the ones not living in the western world, are hunting for women with money! Whole Africa does for example. Why do you think so many scammers, hustlers, bumpsters do exist/operate world wide? BTW also in the western world there are plenty of men who are looking for a woman who takes care of them so they can live their luxury life and never need to worry or work. And if it comes to that: many men do that, esp. if they have more as one wife. The wifes take care of everything although every holy book is saying the opposite! The man has to take care of his wife and children. I think it's a good thing if everybody is capable to take care of him/herself. This has nothing to do with the gender but with reality. Nobody will stay forever, nobody will live forever, nobody is sure about his/her job nowadays.
• United States
24 Mar 13
I can certainly vouch for in the west because I was married to that type of man. He was could never make time for me, but when pay day rolled around, there he was. I've heard men around here say they'd never cheat on their wife if she was rich.
• Penrith, Australia
25 Mar 13
Hello kitties @cupkitties- i think that only works when the man isn't rich, but if he has a lot of money, girls will naturally go after him and try to tempt him. Success is very attractive in men. And i know of a couple, she was a big shot endocrinologist while he was a neurosurgeon. They separated because the man cheated on her countless times. Its very sad.
@Aja103654 (5654)
• Philippines
28 Mar 13
@wakeupkitty: That's right. Everyone should be able to care for themselves and not rely on other people to provide for them. I call those kind of people parasites. It makes me think being single is better than getting married. Men and women have their own reasons for marrying. @cupkitties: Really? They don't cheat if she's rich? I don't believe that. LOL! It's just a lie. A good man would never cheat to begin with regardless of the woman's wealth. @frai: There are so many successful(career wise) couples out there that have problematic relationships. I can say, those who are not successful in their career often end up staying longer together. it is true that people are more inclined to partner themselves with rich people. That is why, being attracted to a person's richness alone is a bad thing.
@veganbliss (3900)
• Adelaide, Australia
23 Mar 13
Yes, many of our men here marry the women of your country & live here quite comfortably. The problem comes about when the couple want to return to your country to live. They don't seem to think about these things in advance, for some reason. It is admirable that you desire financial indepedence for yourself, but isn't a marriage all about interdependence? Should not a wife submit to her husband in all things? One theoretical ideal would be for both to work at a business that they both own, though there can also be problems there. Ultimately, it would boil down to individual preferences & for those to be ideally complimentary. Something that should definitely be discussed before any marriage plans, methinks.
@Aja103654 (5654)
• Philippines
26 Mar 13
Yes. If they plan ahead and know where they want to be, it should not be a problem to talk about it and plan to avoid conflict in the future. People may be comfortable, but it does not always mean they are happy. I want to be independent first. I want to experience it before I get married. Besides, getting married is not a priority. Interdependence is good too. Like I said before, sacrificing a bit of my independence is only acceptable if I marry the man who is worthy. Ahem, and I HATE the idea of a wife being submissive to her husband. When I say equal, that means no one is dominant and no one is submissive. Because I believe inequality can cause conflict, it may even lead to separation. Marriage is life-altering. It's not something decided on a whim.
• Adelaide, Australia
26 Mar 13
For a wife to submit to her husband does not mean being submissive. The idea is from the Christian Church, which, as I understand, is quite dominant in your country. It might be better to try to understand it before dismissing it entirely. Doing so might narrow down your options significantly & we wouldn't want that, would we?
@Aja103654 (5654)
• Philippines
27 Mar 13
No. We wouldn't want that. I am Roman catholic, but I don't visit the church so I have only a little idea of how a wife should submit to her husband. Maybe you didn't mean it like that but it is a fact that I personally just hate the word submit and I relate it to submission which I think is bad. Sorry about that. Still, I'd rather not submit for any reason. I'm stubborn and I like to do things my way. My personality is not the most pleasant, I have to admit.
@mariaperalta (19089)
• Mexico
23 Mar 13
Sometimes people marry for all the wrong reasons. I think this is a wrong reason. id never marry anyone for that. Youd be very unhappy. Im sure. :(
@Aja103654 (5654)
• Philippines
23 Mar 13
Not necessarily. There are people who are happy to have all the material things they want and the luxury they experience just by marrying someone with money and stability. Though I suspect there will still be a void somewhere in their hearts if they feel no love for their partner at all.
• Mexico
23 Mar 13
Might be right.. But I dont think I could stay with a man solely for his money. Not be..
@Aja103654 (5654)
• Philippines
24 Mar 13
It proves you are not a material girl, maria.
@Arieles (2473)
• United States
23 Mar 13
I will only marry for love. I won't be trapped in a loveless relationship just because someone has some finer things to offer me, because at the end of the day, who are you going to bed with?
@Aja103654 (5654)
• Philippines
23 Mar 13
a loveless relationship would be very awkward. It's much better to be single and free rather than be trapped in that kind of relationship. Freedom is something we should cherish and value. Our marriage partner should also treat us well, no matter what, with or without money.
1 person likes this
• Mexico
23 Mar 13
Im the same. id never marry a rich guy for his money. id be so unhappy everyday.. :(
1 person likes this
@MoonGypsy (4611)
• United States
24 Mar 13
nine times out of ten guys like that don't make very good husbands, anyway.
1 person likes this
@ryanong (9690)
• Vietnam
23 Mar 13
Get married with a local or foreigner man is ok as long as it starts from the love. We can't say all women get married with foreigners just because of money. Many foreigners are poor and they have to work hard to earn money also. When u refuse to be in love with a foreigner man, u just lost a chance to be in love. my ex are foreigners, they have to work hard to earn money like i did also. I don't separate a local or foreigner man, I just do follow what my heart guides me...
@Aja103654 (5654)
• Philippines
23 Mar 13
It is great that you don't separate local and foreign men. The personality and the compatibility of you both are among the most important things. While some women do marry foreign men for love, I usually get to see women who are truly though often initially just after the money. I also know that foreigners are not necessarily rich. They are simply fortunate and they work hard for their money too. They often are better off than most local men from my country anyway. My country is a third world country after all. Though there are some very rich people living here also.
• Mexico
23 Mar 13
Your right, those that marry for all the wrong reasons are sure to end. I would never think of marry for money.
@Aja103654 (5654)
• Philippines
24 Mar 13
If one marries only for money, then that would be rather lonely especially when all the money is gone..
@dpk262006 (56771)
• Delhi, India
28 Mar 13
Hi Aja! Your line of thinking is OKay. It is entirely upto you not to get marry to a foreigner because you do not want to deprive yourself of your liberty. If one happens to marry a foreigner, she will have to adapt as per his hubby's customs and religion etc. and may have to stay with the foreigner in his country, if he so decides. Given the choice, I won't marry a foreigner because I may find it difficult to adjust with her because of difference in our culture and traditions etc.
@Aja103654 (5654)
• Philippines
27 Apr 13
Hi there deepak! I don't like the fact that most choices are left to the husband. The girl has to make most of the adjustments to stay in his home, his country and follow his commands. I don't like that at all! It's not fair, the woman should be heard too, because they are equals. Often, I find that husbands who make more money and support the family gets more leverage to decide almost everything. I see this as chauvinism and male dominance. Absolutely not for me.
@dpk262006 (56771)
• Delhi, India
27 Apr 13
Yes, if you do not like to marry a person who is likely to impose upon you and you will have to follow his orders/commands, you should not do so.
@yugocean (9467)
• India
26 Mar 13
you already have a boyfriend, so there is no need to go for anyone with wild dream of richie. People are interested in you means you are so attractive, isn't it ;) but you are smart from inside too because love for money is not truly love. This question is for perhaps girls only, but for me, I will not go for a girl who only wants money, secure future is surely important, but this depends on hardwork. Richie come and go, empires are build and fall, but only hardwork remains secure. I believe in hardwork.
@Aja103654 (5654)
• Philippines
28 Mar 13
Haha! Yeah I have a boyfriend. We plan to become rich before we get married. Am I attractive? I don't know. My mom says I have a terrible attitude. But yeah, if they think I am attractive then okay haha! Thanks yugo, you flatterer you! I also believe in hard work and being wise in making decisions. I know some people who work so hard yet are still unstable. In love, we use our heart as well as our mind.
@yugocean (9467)
• India
28 Mar 13
Becoming rich is not an easy task, it require lots of hardwork and of course LUCK without which life is so hard. There are people who works hard but they are unstable, but people survive during inflation and other financial problems because of their hardwork, this is why world continue to go forward instead of falling to stone age.
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
25 Mar 13
I think thats sad too, those women have sold their souls for material things. I would marry a foreigner though, but not for money, I'd marry them for love,
@Aja103654 (5654)
• Philippines
28 Mar 13
Yeah, it is sad, how ignorant they can be. They think money will solve everything? It sure will solve many problems but definitely not everything. Aw, that's really cute. I can imagine you marrying a foreigner though. I think they would find you an interesting companion. As for me, foreigners often turn me off, especially the middle aged ones or the older ones because they are so eager to find a wife and they usually pick up any woman they see that is attractive and try to appease her with material things. I don't like that.
• Penrith, Australia
28 Mar 13
Haha. Unfortunately, I've never met any foreigner like that in my entire life, all the foreigners i know don't want to settle down and they don't wanna get serious, I'm actually attracted to one at the moment but they just got into a relationship yesterday i feel so bad i hate them. They lied to me. :/
• United States
24 Mar 13
to be really happy is to have real true love feelings for each other...money is good to have but will not make you really happy. it is just a lust ..being used..being bought and throwed away when you are old...having someone to really care money cannot buy a feeling and care...just a lust for things you cannot take with you when you leave this world...
• United States
24 Mar 13
to marry to my thoughts would have to be from love not just the money...
@Aja103654 (5654)
• Philippines
28 Mar 13
Love is the most important reason to marry. That's what God taught us. God is love. If we don't know it, we can't experience divine happiness.
@Pegasus72 (1900)
24 Mar 13
Well since I am already married no I wouldn't but I know someone who did and once they got their citizen ship they divorced her, so it was just the person using her till he got in the country.
@Aja103654 (5654)
• Philippines
27 Mar 13
Some people do this because this is a convenient way for them to get somewhere. I'm not really against it as long as both people know what they are doing and are aware of the consequences.
@Pegasus72 (1900)
31 Mar 13
I agree if they go into in knowing the outcome then they should be able to do it, but someone who takes advantage of someone to get citizen ship is not a good thing to do at all.
@dagami (1162)
• Rome, Italy
23 Mar 13
and ideal marriage is based on love and respect. money should never be the reason for marrying a man (foreigner or not) but if a woman falls in love with a man who has tons of money, then i don't see anything wrong with her enjoying the comforts and luxuries that her husband's money can buy.
@Aja103654 (5654)
• Philippines
23 Mar 13
I think it is okay. As long as both made the choice. If a woman does marry a man for his money, regardless if he is foreign or not, she should be a good wife and do her best to do her part in marriage.
• Mexico
23 Mar 13
amen, I agree a love for money will in and fast. id never do that. EVER!!!
• Philippines
27 Apr 13
Hello Aja103654, that is a very sad but that is very true among those who are in poverty and wants to get out of it. the problem is that this kind of mentality has been the number one reason why most foreigners on chats wants to stay away from every single filipina they encounter in some messenger sites like yahoo.. they literally thought every filipina is like that is why some of them are raped
@Aja103654 (5654)
• Philippines
28 Apr 13
That sounds bad. There are foreigners still who like filipina women. They believe they make good wives compared to the women from their own country. and there are some filipina women who don't like to mingle with foreigners or don't want to get married to them.
@RAJASB (109)
• India
27 Apr 13
It depends on individual choice. It's not only the foreigner who has money, money is every where and every one can earn it. It's the greed for money and luxurious life that tempt you to marry an unknown foreigner. It's their choice and can't come to conclusion that all foreigners are bad and careless. It's just an assumption, even we are foreigners to them.
@Aja103654 (5654)
• Philippines
28 Apr 13
I'm pretty sure most women who marry foreigners are interested in a better life because foreigners can provide them their needs. I seldom see women who are from well-off families marrying foreigners.
@joliefille (3696)
• Philippines
8 Apr 13
It can be very vague for some women. I've observed some intelligent women who begged foreign men for a fake fiance visa - all this happening despite their claim to be in love with their foreign boyfriend. Guess what? Three relationships in a row with a foreign boyfriend left them heartbroken because the latter cheated on them. But some of them just never give up.
@Aja103654 (5654)
• Philippines
27 Apr 13
If the woman expects to use the foreign man, she should not really get her hopes too high up. All men from all countries and cultures are capable of cheating. That is why I can't trust to have a faithful relationship with any man, much more a foreign man. These women are only looking for a better future for themselves. If they want to use the foreign man, they should not expect perfection in a relationship with them.
• Philippines
27 Mar 13
In my country also, not only women prefer to marry foreigners, to have stability in life, but also our workers here, tend to find jobs in foreign countries, this is a sad thing but there's nothing i can do, maybe our government should think for a solution on this.
@Aja103654 (5654)
• Philippines
28 Mar 13
We are from the same country LOL. The government can help the people fend for themselves better. Then maybe people wouldn't have to resort to such low methods just to attain success financially.
• United States
26 Mar 13
That's not any worse than girls being forced into arranged marriages from the time they are infants. If all they have to look forward to is poverty, I think they will look outside their own place of origin to marry up to a better life. They hope for a comfortable life. Nothing is wrong in that. It's their choice. Better to be their choice than to be forced to marry a stranger their parents pick for them. At least she chose what she wanted to do. I don't know if arranged marriage is common where you are. It's as easy to love a rich man as it is a poor one.
@Aja103654 (5654)
• Philippines
28 Mar 13
Yes, at least it is their own choice. Their choice is not always wise though and I hate to think its the kids who tend to suffer the most if things go bad. It is normal to want a secure and comfortable life.
• India
25 Mar 13
I am aware of this situation, i was in your country, the foreigners marry Philippine girls, produce kids, go back to work in the place, never come back, i always tell my friends and acquiescent to marry in Philippines, but number of girls is too much there.
@Aja103654 (5654)
• Philippines
28 Mar 13
Yeah, it is horrible. I don't trust foreigners, to be honest. haha, there are so many women here. Many of them become single mothers at a young age because they happen to get themselves impregnated with a broke jerk who left them. Ugh.
@Torunn (4780)
• Norway
25 Mar 13
I live in Norway, so that'd be a bit tricky. I'd have to find some very rich foreigner and bring him to Norway then :-) But no matter who and why, I'd never leave all the responsibility for money to a man. Don't trust them. Don't trust women either actually, when it comes to money I trust mainly myself ;-) I know some Norwegian, mainly men, go abroad to find partners. As long as both parts agree, that's fine with me but I don't understand it.
@Aja103654 (5654)
• Philippines
28 Mar 13
Yeah, it is not practical to rely on our partner for financial support. That can lead to financial issues later in the relationship. Also, when the relationship is over, so is the financial support. Just horrible.