Mixed feelings on this one....
By celticeagle
@celticeagle (189915)
Boise, Idaho
October 9, 2015 6:02pm CST
My daughter told me a couple of days ago that my grandson's bio dad has called and asked to see him this week-end. I have mixed feelings because of his history. He and my daughter were homeless when she became pregnant. A social worker informed her when she did a home study after my daughter had the baby that if she didn't have living arrangements in a certain time frame she would lose her baby. So my daughter came to me and ask if she could live with us. She has been here ever since and I have been helping her raise her son. The bio dad didn't even choose to see my grandson until he was about eight years old. Bio dad isn't able to keep a job so child support is not consistent. And, what really scared me was that in July we got a text message that bio dad was going to get full custody of the boy and we'd better get legal help.**(Big laugh since he hadn't been good about child support or seeing him so I doubted any judge worth his salt would give him custody. But, it did cause me stress) This freaked me out but I guess it was due to some miscommunication he had gotten. So we did get that cleared up. So, my grandson goes to spend some time and I hope all goes well. He is at an age now (13) that he is pretty aware of the situation and has been so disappointed in the past by this man that he doesn't expect much. I feel rather helpless but I just try to keep the love flowing and let him know all the time we love him and want the best for him and what more can we do?
13 people like this
16 responses
@celticeagle (189915)
• Boise, Idaho
10 Oct 15
Just normal custody. She has had the boy since he was born and has taken care of him. He wasn't even in the picture until the boy was about eight years old.
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
10 Oct 15
i hope the child keeps in mind who has been there for him and don;t believe any lies told
2 people like this
@celticeagle (189915)
• Boise, Idaho
10 Oct 15
I hope so too but, he is still young and I hope there isn't any bad words from them about us. And, I would hope that he would defend his mom if there was.
1 person likes this
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
10 Oct 15
@celticeagle
I know that feeling also as children have some of each of their parents in them.
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@celticeagle (189915)
• Boise, Idaho
12 Oct 15
@Marcyaz....It is so odd though because He is around him very little.
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@celticeagle (189915)
• Boise, Idaho
10 Oct 15
And, its so funny too. As little as he is around his dad(once or twice a year) I see things in him that remind me of his dad so much. It's almost weird.
1 person likes this
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
10 Oct 15
I understand times like this makes it difficult to deal with, but i'm sure all will work out for the best..hugs
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@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
10 Oct 15
@celticeagle
That is true I am sure your grandson will see his father for who he really is.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (189915)
• Boise, Idaho
10 Oct 15
@Marcyaz, @Rosekitty ...I think my grandson is big enough to see him for who he is. His dad has a right to see him and spend time with him and as long as he is respectful of his son and of us then al will be fine.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (189915)
• Boise, Idaho
10 Oct 15
Yes, and his dad has shown him who is too.
1 person likes this
@Missmwngi (12915)
• Nairobi, Kenya
10 Oct 15
With his age he can be able to interpret everything by himself. You have done a good job and you should not be worried at all. I guess it is normal though for you to feel that way
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189915)
• Boise, Idaho
10 Oct 15
It's MO. I am always worried about something happening. I've had so much happen in my life with my kids I always seem to be on edge.
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@celticeagle (189915)
• Boise, Idaho
12 Oct 15
@Missmwngi ....I see it as pretty normal too. Just mostly needed to vent about it.
@Missmwngi (12915)
• Nairobi, Kenya
10 Oct 15
@celticeagle You should not worry,it is just parental insticts. I guess every parent in your shoes would feel that way
1 person likes this
@taramarie39 (667)
• Williamsburg, Virginia
10 Oct 15
I am really sorry that you all are going through this. I don't have any advice but I will be praying for all of you. God bless.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189915)
• Boise, Idaho
12 Oct 15
He's just not had much interaction with him.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (502613)
• Italy
12 Oct 15
@celticeagle This could be a reason why he is not really interested in talking with his father.
@simone10 (54180)
• Louisville, Kentucky
10 Oct 15
I can understand your concern. I would feel the same way. I think my main concern would be that he might try to take his son but he probably doesn't really want the responsibility. Maybe he could have supervised visits. When my daughter split up with her husband, he did take my grandson for about 3 days then decided to give him back. My daughter was very frightened of him and for her son. He called my house threatening her and me but I wasn't scared of him and came right back at him. I told him that he would never get custody of my grandson and that my whole family would rally together to keep this from happening. The next day was when he returned him. He was just a big bully and once someone stood up to him, he was nothing.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189915)
• Boise, Idaho
12 Oct 15
Abnormal people aren't very easy to read. So don't know for sure what he would do.
@yukimori (10192)
• United States
12 Oct 15
@celticeagle You'd be surprised at exactly how much can be predicted. It's like there's a handbook that they read or something.
You could probably run the situation by the ladies over on the DWIL Nation forum at BabyCenter and they'd tell you exactly what's going to happen. Comes from all the experience dealing with abnormal people. That's what made me ask if formal custody's been established, because BSC people don't have any qualms about using kids as pawns to get what they want.
@Marilynda1225 (91126)
• United States
10 Oct 15
I'm sure your grandson is a smart boy and understands how much he is loved by both you and his mom. I speak from experience when I say it's hard to share a child with a father who practically abandoned him for more than half his life. But, kids want to know their parents so I hope his dad is smarter these days and can build a relationship with your grandson.
1 person likes this
@ria1606roy (2797)
• Kolkata, India
13 Oct 15
If your grandson wants to see him, then it's best to just let him this time. He will form an opinion by himself if he wants to see his bio-dad ever again. I am sure you are there to guide and advise him all along this situation 
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
13 Oct 15
I can relate to this one. My daughter\s father walked out on her when she was 13 months old. He stayed gone until she was 36 years old. Now he is in her life again and I too have mixed feeling on this one. I wish you luck and hope it works out for you on this one.
@sissy15 (12634)
• United States
12 Oct 15
It's great that despite everything you still let him see the man. Whether you care for him or not he's still his biological father. I get why you would be concerned. I would think that there would need to be supervised visits or something though. Despite how you feel about him you have to let children learn who their parents are for themselves, because the man makes up half of his DNA, like it or not. I completely get your feelings on the matter though, and I imagine it isn't easy.
@allknowing (153529)
• India
12 Oct 15
I remember you talking about this in the old myLot in that the effort you were putting in to care for you daughter.
Yur grandson will surely know what is good for him.
